JP Or Real Church Wedding

We did a JP and then a party/renewal of vows later. I loved renewing it almost exactly a year later. It's great: we have two anniversaries :-)

Do you have the money now for a big deal?
If so, and you want it, and can throw it together fast--why not?
BUT, I would never spend a lot if I really didn't have the cash to do it and even then, I'm too practical, I guess, I could probably think of better things to blow money on.
It's the marriage that's important--not the wedding.
Could you just do a small dinner the weekend if or after the JP?
Might be a good compromise.

JP, then later have a nice reception .
I think it is sweet he wants a celebration and he wants it to be nice. Let him have that part at least.

Do both. JP for the insurance purposes, and big church wedding/reception later when you have time to plan. Check his insurance, do you have to be married or can you qualify as domestic partners and get on his insurance that way?

25 yrs ago this upcoming New Year's Eve, we crossed the state line from NC to SC to see the JP. Boy was it crowded that day!!!

The next day, when friends and families called to say happy new year and " what did you do?"... We said " got married"

No regrets and we chose not to have a reception elsewhere either because we were a plane ticket away from everyone.

My mom was heartbroken. She claimed that " I denied her". I said that it wasn't about her. It was my ceremony and how I chose to do it!!

Don't feel pressure to do something you don't want to do, especially if you are watching your finances!!!

Congratulations!

To me, this comes down to questions about belief in God and religion.

So - do you believe in God? Is a church wedding important to you or your fiance for religious reasons?

If not, then I agree with a JP wedding followed by a traditional reception (reception could be either now or in a few months).

If you are generally agnostic - believe in God but don't subscribe to a particular religion - then I like Rev Ruby's suggestion of a pastor you like as the officiant in a hall instead of a church.

If having a religious ceremony is important to you, you believe in God and you subscribe to a particular religion, then it makes sense to have a church wedding.

A church wedding shouldn't be about having a show, it should be about your faith and declaring your intentions to God.

And don't worry about it being special - any kind of wedding you have will be special because it is the start of your marriage. Congrats on your upcoming marriage!

If I were in your situation, I would go to the JP to get the license signed and filed, then have a church ceremony later if you are religiously inclined.

Your wedding will be special because it's your wedding.
It doesn't matter how you get married.
There's nothing wrong with a JP wedding.
Heck, eloping can be fun and spontaneous.
The traditional wedding hype has gotten so out of hand and the cost can be phenomenal.
Yes it can be done reasonably but not in a month - many places you have to book a year in advance.
I don't see the point of spending the equivalent of a down payment on a house on a ceremony and reception that's over in a few hours.
Some people will go into major debt for a dream wedding and it takes years to pay it off.

Like everyone else said, Justice of the Peace first and then a bigger ceremony later.
Congratulations!

FWIW, we had a friend (was ordained online!) marry us at our favorite little brewpub. We put flowers on the tables and had chocolates a friend made instead of cake. A wedding is what you want to make it!

If I had to do it all over again, I would have done a JP and then a huge party afterward. My after-party was 10 times more fun than the wedding itself. Just my opinion. :)

JP. Big reception party later, when you can plan it.

I planned a very small inexpensive wedding in a couple of weeks. Of course, it was warm outside and that helped. But we got married at an overlook at a lake and had a reception in the shelter house. Just immediate family. We had a cake and a pitch in lunch. It was very nice. Less stress and a friend of the family married us.

Well hopefully it's your first and only wedding, right? Do you have a huge family? A church wedding doesn't have to be a huge production. We were married in a church on a weekday with five people in attendance. We went to dinner afterwards. If it's important to your boyfriend you could look into it and see what kind of time frame you need. They may require you to go to a couples workshop sort of thing, stuff like that. Plus, you may need to be a "member" of the church for at least 3 months, it depends on your church, but some things to consider. Good luck!

Do both.
Or do the JP and a big reception for everyone later.
It is far more common and accepted to do both. One just to get the legal part of it done as soon as possible and then the full celebration to enjoy with the family.

If it is rushed I would just go to the JP, and then plan a big party for a little while later that will allow you time to plan.

My cousin and her boyfriend went to Texas and got married by a Justice of the Peace. When they got back they did all the paperwork and later, after they had time to buy the right dress, the right place, etc...they had a great wedding.

My husband and I got married in a place where my family could not go. When we got back we had a big church wedding and reception where we had candles, flowers, and I wore a gorgeous dress with a long long veil.

It was a lot of fun and my family loved it. SO having a wedding and reception after the fact is not a big deal.

It shouldn't cost much to get married in a church you just make a donation to the church so I would just do that and if you don't want to have a big party afterwards don't or just invite people to the church to see the ceremony and afterward go out with a few people to dinner. Its whatever you make of it. Congratulations!

I would personally do JP party later. But I also hate weddings...well hate is a strong word. I would have hated to go through my own wedding but I love it when others have weddings. I don't like the idea of spending that much money on something like that. I would rather it go towards a house.

The most important thing is talk it out with your guy. I'm sure there is a compromise in there somewhere

You can do both. A friend of mine had a JP wedding for health insurance too. Then she had a fantastic wedding later. She actually only told a few people before the second wedding, because she didn't know if the guests would feel weird about it. All went well and they had two wonderful weddings.

I did Vegas and was much happier. No stress, just fun. If I had it to do over again and couldn't go to Vegas, I'd be happy to go to the Justice of the Peace.

I would just go to the JP. People put too much emphasis, and spend way too much money on weddings, in my opinion. I'm so glad I had a very small wedding; stayed within budget, paid as we went; had no debt afterward and it was a very beautiful day. But at the same time, I would have been ok with just going to the JP.

When you're less stressed then throw a party!!

Good luck!!

I would be practical and do the JP now and plan a nice party later. You're already living like a married couple, no need to go through the pageantry of a full church wedding and all the time, money and stress that goes into that. Your celebration can still be meaningful and special without needing to pretend to be a young blushing bride and her groom embarking on a new life together. You're legalizing and solemnifying the life you're already living - celebrate that!

my step sister did the same thing, she got married for insurance purposes. She later had a small wedding (second one) at her husbands house with close family and friends.

Personally, being married twice....i wish i got married the first time on the beach. My second wedding was in hawaii. It was just my exhubby and i. We did it spare of the moment thing (24hrs). It was the MOST beautiful wedding and it was NOTHING fancy. I do it 10x over again if i had to. My first wedding spent 7k. wish that 7k went into savings, not on a wedding.

Sorry i am just against spending so much $$ on one event, when you could use that $ to buy a house as your down payment. Or put it away for your 3yr college education. Just my two cents.

I think if you are basically indifferent to having a "church wedding" then you should go to the JP. Don't take this the wrong way, but being religious, I kind take offense to someone feeling like they "should" get married in church if they don't practice their religion. I mean.. really... what's the point of that? So skip it. It isn't really important to you, so why wrap your "big day" up in trappings that don't matter?

Go to the JP, save a boatload of money. You can get a nice dress and do it up without spending thousands upon thousands. You don't even have to do it at the courthouse... choose a pretty outdoor venue and have your JP meet you there. Done.

I really am turned off by weddings in churches that are ONLY there b/c of tradition. For most people going to church is a lot more than just tradition and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'd rather celebrate someone's marriage with them being honest about what it means to them.

I am sorry if that is offensive (to you and anybody else). I'm sure other people don't feel the same. But you asked "our" opinion, so I've shared mine.

We just got married at a judge's chambers. 10 years now and no regrets.
Honestly, I would never even consider spending a bunch of money I don't have for a fancy wedding and a dress that I am going to wear for one day... to me that just seems like staring marriage off on the wrong foot.

Good luck.

JP and big reception later.

I perform weddings for non-traditional couples. If you want a nice dinner and reception you should be able to do the ceremony right at the reception hall. December is a difficult time of year to find a reception hall since so many companies have holiday parties and rent halls. Look into places such as the VFW hall or the Elks or Eagles club. The Senor Citizen center here will rent out the building for $40, holds 100 people but they do not allow any alcohol. You can also look into a town meeting hall. Also think about doing your wedding on a Thursday or Sunday, Friday and Saturday are usually booked a year in advance. If they do not serve food some grocery store delis and other restaurants will cater.

If the JP near you only charges $80 you are getting a good price. I charge $200 for a ceremony within 20 miles of my home. Any further I charge for milage and if it's really far I charge for a hotel/motel room. I know this sounds like a lot of money but I write the ceremony to fit the couple, travel to the rehearsal and then I stay most of the day for the ceremony. I put in more than 20 hours on each wedding I do, so I am earning less than $10 an hour. If you think about the milage if the venue is 20 miles away I travel 80 miles just to do the rehearsal and ceremony.