and now I dont know how to fix it. Wedding season is all around and I have 3 weddings to attend this summer. One is coming up in 5 weeks and I have the dilemma of leaving my DD who is 18 months with someone who is not family for the first time. Since she has been born I have had only my mother or my MIL watch her and even then its only been a handful of times and never to put her to bed. I probably sound crazy to most of you but I am the one with severe separation anxiety with her. Its not so much that I dont trust the person or couple that I am thinking of asking but more will she feel comfortable with this person? I dont want it to turn into an emotional night for her because neither her Mama or Dada are here to give her her nighttime hugs kisses and cuddles. What do I do to help me feel better about this? I know I need to do this for all of us but I really Really REALLY dont want to leave her. I sound crazy, dont I?
I agree with all the others, let them watch her a few times between now and then. But I would also have one of those times be in the evening so they can try to do the bedtime routine with her. Talk it up to her before hand and how much fun it will be.
Why don't you have the same person watch her for a few hours in the next couple of weeks? That way you will know if it is an issue. You do need to relax about all of this or you will have a mean case of self-fulfilling prophecy.
Baby Steps. You have 5 weeks to conquer this. Start by getting a sitter this weekend and going on a date with your husband. Don't go far or stay gone long. But leave her with someone other than family. Next week get a sitter again and stay out passed bedtime. Keep taking baby steps now, while the wedding isnt on the line. If you are right around the corner and sitter tells you it's not going so well, you can go home. If there is no problem now, than you will feel so much more comfortable and be able to enjoy the wedding in 5 weeks.
It's fine to use babysitters, really, I promise. Make sure that the person sees her a few times if possible during the couple of weeks leading up to the wedding. It will be easier for her if they watch her at your home rather than theirs (I'm not sure what you planned on ). If they can come the night before and go through her bedtime routine with you, that would be great. And the fact is, she may cry and have a hard time at bedtime, but she will survive and she will not be traumatized for life.
let them watch her a couple of times for shorter periods so she can get used to them and can see that you can leave and will return and it is ok.
You don't sound crazy, just protective. What you might not get is that not allowing you & your husband time away from your daughter once in a while is a detriment to your relationship. My advice is this: whoever you've gotten to watch your daughter on the evening of the wedding in question, spend some time with them beforehand to see how your daughter handles it. Go to their house in the afternoon & leave her with them while you go grocery shopping. I'm betting she'll be fine & you'll be the one missing her much more than the other way around (sad, but true). At some point this is going to happen & of course nobody will ever take the place of you & your husband, but that doesn't mean your daughter won't be able to cope with a change for 1 night. It'll be ok, go out, have fun!
No advice. BUT you are NOT crazy! :)
I think Jo gave good advice about the trial run.
i was like that-still am-all you can do is know this willl be soon over a nd i will be home!!!..........should be more parents like this!!!!!
You're not crazy at all, but it's good for her to realize that other people can pinch hit for mom and daddy, and even if they don't do things the same way, she will still be ok. It's good for YOU to realize that too!
I say this, but I still have to fight back the urge to call every hour when my husband and I go somewhere. She's always going to love you, because you really sound like a great mom. Find someone you trust, and be happy that she can learn to feel secure and have fun around some different people.
I think its completely normal. I feel the same way. I flew my MIL from PR it cost us $300 so she can watch my children for 3 days! I don't trust anyone with my children. So I do understand. Unfortunaly its us with the problem. My kids were fine and went on with there days. I was the one wondering what they were doing. I came home and it was like HI, thats all I get? LOL If you can I would give the sitter a T-Shirt of yours, so she can have the sense you are there. I did this when they were little. Now they are 4 and 8 yrs old. I think it may them feel better and MYSELF. LOL
you have got to do it its normal to feel this way dont put the fear in her let her hang out with that person a few times to make them comfortable if that person is willing to baby sit take advantage of the night out the kid will survive enjoy
