Is This Normal or Do I Need to Ask a Doctor

I think it's somewhat normal. With little ones, and with sleep loss (plus, if you are breastfeeding), those things can really reduce the drive. For me, if I get enough sleep, I'm fine. If I am exhausted all the time, it's difficult to be interested like normal.

You are not alone I have had this same problem since i got pregnant with my first who is now 3. Talk to your dr please. I decided not to and it ultimately played a part in the end of my marriage.

Ask your doctor if you can be switched to Wellbutrin for your depression, it doesn't decrease your libido like most anti-depressants do.

I took antidepressants after all three of my boys and it KILLED my sex drive. I was to the point where not only did I not want sex, but the thought of my husband touching me was repulsive (and he is NOT a repulsive man at all!). Fortunately, I only needed the meds to get me over the post partum "hump", so the longest I was ever on them was around 7 mos. BUT, it did take several months after I stopped taking them for my sex drive to return to semi-normal. For me, it also had to do with body image, so when I lost the baby weight it also helped. Also, when I am regularly working out, I always have a better sex drive. My sex drive has never returned to completely the way it was BEFORE kids (oldest is almost 6), but my kids are still little, my husband works long hours, etc., etc.......so, I think some decline in the bedroom is pretty normal to parents of small children. So, definitely talk to your doctor, and if you're not already, think about starting an exercise routine. Good luck!

Hi S.,
This is actually VERY common. And what happens after we have babies is our progesterone levels drop. Progesterone is a natural anti-depressant & anti-inflammatory but it also helps with things like loss of sex drive. Correct progesterone levels creates more libido. It is very hard for our guys to understand but it is a simple fix. A progesterone cream (not progestine) applied will help you feel better in many ways. I'm sending over some info for you. Hugs, G

Same with me and my kids are 5 and 7.... Ugh. No advice but you're not alone. I am having a hormone test done as a doctor said that could be it.

I'm there with you. No on anti depressants (but I know those dampen my sex drive even more). I was fine after the first 3 kids, but #4 has killed my drive completely. Not only do I not want it, I can get physically ill at the thought of it. I'm still attracted to my husband and still have sexual throughts about him, but when it comes to the action time - the touch makes me want to vomit. The OB won't go near me while I'm breastfeeding. I just hope it comes back before anything really affects my marriage.

Sex drive, let’s talk about that first. Sex: Drive / Car: Drive. What do those two have in common? Neither can operate on their own, in order to drive sex or car both need someone behind the wheel, doing both: putting it in the right gears and being in control otherwise - CRASH.
Unlike men women’s sex drive in most cases are not automatic - it requires personal stimulation -including visual, being proactive with your senses and your physical being.
Myth: if a woman has no sex drive it's the guys fault or due to things about her body she has no control of...
Tips:
* Be more involved in the foods you eat to stimulate your taste sensations which leads to stimulating your brain and that leads to stimulating your body. Fruits and veggies even herbs are great and healthy!
* Try to dress up and improve your sense of importance and esteem. That's right put on a skirt and heels - remember what it feels like to be sexy and don't stress about what the baby did to your body, if anything at all; because that is really a mental issue, over a physical one. If your husband still wants to take you to bed, you shouldn't worry you’re not sexually attractive – you are! So dress up for him and you!
* Get exercise: After having a baby you get so overwhelmed and exhausted you just feel tired and stressed all the time. Go for a jog - it stimulates the body, mind and if you get your heart rate up will cause your endorphins to go wild. That also improves your stamina!
* Self stimulate - yes I said it, self stimulate = more sensitivity when it's time for marital activities :) A woman who doesn't get stimulation on her very important parts will become harder to stimulate and it will make sex more frustrating. So, if self stimulation is not something you can do by yourself - then FORE-PLAY! Even if it means you both sitting across from one another and watching each other on ones-self and then once you all stimulated - bring on the love making together!
* Just do things to get out of that depression spell - it sucks you in and leaves you sad and lonely. Depression is self-feeding, if you allow yourself to be happy the depression will lose and your sex life will come back as long as you ignore the days you don't feel like it and just allow yourself to enjoy it. In other words, let go of the bad control and relax. You can be in positive control of your body with the help of your doctor and your courage!
If you let the depression win, no one will ever have the right answer. You'll just be depressed as it feels safe. It's weird to read that I know, but it's true. It’s like having an excuse for everything and letting go of any true responsibility = feels safe. But, truth is - depression is a state of mind not an actual mind - it can only control you if you let it. So, continue to get help and to help yourself .

I'm a married mom of 4 - 14,11,2, 1. I have been on depressants and I had to heal from that. I have also found that doign charity work helps bring happiness and physical rush of happy sensation through me. Give it a try: http://www.volunteermatch.org/

I totally know what you are going through! I know how hard it is on a marriage. I did talk to a doctor and he gave me some things to try... but I never did any of it, so I really don't know if they would have helped. But I do know that now I am in my thirties and my 5 kids are for the most part sleeping through the night, our sex life have picked up. It is still not CRAZY, but it is perfect for me and my husband. He has commented how happy he is with it.

Are you also nursing or on hormonal contraception? Many antidepressants have reduced libido as a side effect, additionally depression itself often reduces libido and hormonal contraception/breastfeeding and add to the combined effects.
I would suggest talking to your doctor and seeing if switching some of the drugs you are taking makes a difference.
Good luck!

Yes, you should go have your hormone levels tested. My friend did and found the needed hormone replacement. She felt much better, found her sex drive and actually it helped with her depression as well.

Babies do a number on hormones and it's not that uncommon to need help getting on the right track.

I had the same thing and my doctor said to get some romance books and read them before you go to bed. It'll be the last thing you think about before bed and you'll dream about it and most people who dream about sex end up wanting it the next day. Also to get adult video's. I told her those really don't do much but she said to try those two things and if that didn't work we needed to see a sex therapist to talk about whats going on and what your husband can do to help you get there. If that doesn't work then it needs to get looked in to more because you may need something. Worth a try if you don't want to rush to get put on medication. Good Luck

I'd talk to your Dr./Nurse Midwife about it. Sometimes birth control pills, anti-depressants and even thyroid dysfunction can cause lack of sex drive. Don't wait to start enjoying life again. Sex is important in marriage and should not be neglected. Nurse Midwife Mom of 3

Normal, no, but common, yes. You're hormones never fully re-balanced. There could be a lot of underlying problems (adrenal fatigue, low thyroid function, or just imbalanced hormones). When it happened to me I went the natural route. Try taking Chaste Tree Berry (also known as vitex) to re-balance your hormones. If this doesn't work you'll need to address either the adrenal glands or thyroid. However, this usually works very well at balancing hormones. I would also recommend taking omega 3 fatty acids, and probably some evening primrose oil. If you want to try this I'm happy to talk you through this in more detail. It can be fixed!!!
J.

I went through that longer after this pregnancy than I did with the others. It could be a side effect from your medicine (not sure, just a thought.) Talk to your doctor about it. It does make a difference if you have your desire. Mine came back, thankfully. I love the idea about reading romance novels before bed. Good luck!!