Is This Normal - Colorado Springs, CO

Totally, I have two girls a 4 year old who never threw a tantrum. And I have my 2 year old. She started the same kind of fits when she was about 15 mo old and sorry to say she still is throwing them! I even took her to the doctor and said "What is wrong with her?" The Doctor simple stated "She is normal." So what I do when she throw's her fit's is: I use the time out chair and it really seem's to work with her. And now I make her tell me why she is throwing her fit and say she is sorry. I feel for you though!

Hi C.,

My grandson who is now almost 4, did that when he was younger. He eventually stopped when he figured no one was paying attention to him. Also, I think he may have done it too hard once or twice and figured it was not worth the ouch. Try ignoring her when she does that, by just going into another room or something. Another idea you might try if that doesn't work is a spray bottle with water in it, squirt her when she bites herself and tell her you will stop when she stops.

Hope you have success with this problem.

C.

Hi C.,
My now 7 yearold tried that same thing,at about 18 mos. I was so shocked I started laughung and when she saw that she stopped. She was embarrased. I know it sounds mean but I couldn't help it. And it worked. I don't think it is as mean as spraying your child with a spray bottle, like an animal.

I believe this is common in children this young because they cannot express their frustration. My son did the same thing as well as having the tantrums. He has quit doing all of these behaviors since his communcation skills have increased. You could ask your pediatrician to be sure. Sometimes they want to make sure headaches are not an issue.

Hi C.,

I have worked with kids before in the past that started having these types of self-injurious behaviors (SIB), which can be very scary for parents, what she is doing is most likely normal, I would suggest when she does this to move her to a soft area where she can't hurt herself (maybe get a gym mat you can put her on and some pillows), make sure to monitor her for safely and not to give this too much attention in case she is trying to get a lot of attention from you by doing this, try to ignore it and distract her to to some sort of other positive activity instead. If she is causing bleeding to her hands with the biting you might want to put some sort of glove or mitt on her when she does this to protect her hand depending on how bad it is. If this doesn't help and she keeps it up or starts really hurting herself you might want to bring it up to her pediatrician just so you are getting some professional advice but I bet that this phase is just part of her tantrumming and will pass when she figures out she is not getting a lot of attention for it.

I've definitely heard of kids doing this before and my 2 1/2 year old starting throwing tantrums at about a year old. He would just "lose it". Anyways, if you have a playpen of some sort it works like a charm. I also use this now for my son's time outs so that he can't get up and walk off. Just make sure that the playpen is a few inches away from the walls because my son would throw himself around in it and hit things. Good Luck!

I would suggest getting the books- not just borrowing them from the library- "Raising Your Spirited Child" and "The Discipline Book" by Dr. Sears. Raising your spirited child also has a workbook and might can be very helpful to get as well.
My 4yo is very "spirited" and "spunky" and both books have helped a lot in regards to disciplining a strong will child and at the same time allowing her to be strong willed and spirited, because that is who she is and it should be honored and not stiffled. Those can be great qualities and a strength of her character, but you need to know how to effectively channel that spirit so it is helpful to both you and to her.
Good Luck,
M.

I have a son that will do this and you just have to ignore it. The more you respond the more they think that this is the way to react because they get a rise out of you. She will grow out of it. Just let her throw her fits without any regard to it!

I agree with the other Moms. My son did the same thing w/ the head banging. I just let him go at it and he eventually stopped because he realized it was hurting him and not getting him anywhere. She is not able to express herself fully yet but she does know enough to manipulate you. It is hard, just make sure she is safe and then walk away.
It gets better! Hang in there.
L.

Hi C.,
I would agree that throwing fits is normal. But the question I think you should ask yourself is this. Are you responding to her when she trys to hurt herself? Kids will do what gets a reaction out of you. If your not responding to her screaming, then she is going to notch it up a level to see if you will react. What I did with my daughter was put her in her bed and walk into the other room... it was soft if she threw herself about, but she wasn't getting a reaction that she was wanting from me.
Hope that helps.
Its really really hard to get through this phase.. but you can do it.
TRUDI