Is This Normal? - Seattle,WA

I didn't have time to read all the responses but Hazel's answer was very good in my opinion. I hope you don't do what someone suggested and make him cry it out. He's a baby and that's what babies do. He's older and wiser now and knows that you will hear him crying and take care of his needs, whether for food or for companionship or whatever. He trusts you and knows you will respond.

I seem to remember my middle daughter waking up crying like that. She's 2 and a half now & wakes up fine (most of the time I don't even know she's up, since she'll go straight to playing in her room). I believe with her, it was developmental--being hungry after sleep/needing a soothing transition routine into being awake. I didn't much to try & change the behavior, except by around 18 months I made it a point to no longer offer bottles, only the cup. As she got older sometimes I would let her cry for a minute (fortunately I could tell the difference between a habitual, whiny cry & a needy cry of desperation) to help her practice soothing herself.

Hi Jennifer,

My daughter used to do the same thing. I wondered if something was wrong, but I didn't worry too much because after a couple of minutes of being awake she was happy and playful. She grew out of it so slowly that I just noticed recently that she isn't doing it anymore (she's 22 months). So my advice is hang on, wait, things will change - and then change again!

K.

Well, it might be normal if he's waking up hungry.:)
This sounds like it might be exactly what he's experiencing right now. Perhaps he's at a place in life that he is burning calories like mad, between growing and new mobility.

also, some kids just go through very long periods of time when they are rather tender when they wake up. Be patient. He just needs some snuggling, and some milk. Some kids need a half-hour of cuddling and an armful of books. Each kid is different. Congrats to you, tho, it sounds like you know exactly what he wants.

Please don't go as far as to consider it a "behavior" or some kind of negative personality trait. You'll be doing him a disservice by reading way too much into it. We tend to feel inclined to "fix" these things, and it is often the case that the child is more upset by that than our just letting him express himself. Just get the milk. It won't "spoil" him; instead, he'll know and trust that mom is responsive and taking care of his needs.

Crying is the only way toddlers and babies can communicate their needs. It is not a negative thing to be avoided.Our society has a bias against children crying that is unfounded and unreasonable, as well as disrespectful of a child's development. Young children cannot meet the expectation some adults will place on them to have control over their emotions; this has more to do with early brain development and far less to do with temperament.

For more information, "The Science of Parenting" by Margot Sunderland has a wealth of information on the child's developing brain and the reasons they cry or act in other ways we adults find perplexing at times. A very worthwhile read!

I don't know if it's "normal"...but its exactly what my son did.

Fast forward...we found that milk + food worked even better, but that he HAD to have milk immediately, even though sometimes he would fight it. It became our routine; wake up crying, scoop up into cuddle time with milk and a snack, or milk and a meal = Happiest little boy on the planet.

Fast forward...we found out he's hypoglycemic.

We didn't find out until he was school age, because we always gave him milk whenever he asked (as well as when he woke up) and he had his own "snack drawer" and shelf on the fridge filled with things that he could eat whenever he wanted. We did this to encourage healthy eating habits, and as a way for him to feel independent (even though, obviously, we're the one's buying the food and stocking it).

We had had hints if we'd known what to look for, but didn't recognize them while he was in preschool, so we didn't find out until he was in school full-time. (guilt guilt guilt guilt) (did i mention guilt???)

Its reeeaally easy to control, and milk is one of the best ways: the lactose hits immediately, the proteins are a little later, and the fats a little after that. YAY. We tried sending juicy juice boxes to school, but they really didn't work nearly as well.

In any event, its something you might mention to your pediatrician...and to keep an eye on yourself. The hard thing, of course, is that MOST children get cranky when they're hungry. :P

Of course, I wouldn't say your son's hypoglycemic just because ours did the same thing...but it took us so long to find out (because we were doing the exact right thing on ACCIDENT!), that I'd feel even more guilty if I didn't pass it along.

So... "Oh yeah! Us, too!"

From our side of the street,
Z.

My son, 15 months, was doing the same thing a few months ago. I found that he was waking up still tired and that if I let him cry for a few minutes he'd go back to sleep. I also started leaving a sippy cup of water in his crib in the same spot where he could find it in the dark. After a couple of days he stopped waking up so mad. Your little guy might be hot and tired right now during the summer months.

Hi Jennifer!

Sounds perfectly normal! Most likely is a couple of things:

1. He is hungry.
2. Separation Anxiety.
3. Not ready to wake up and is seeking comfort.

He'll outgrow it. My daughter is 23 months old and will still cry when she wakes up too early from her nap. If she comes out and smiles or is simply quiet, I know she has had enough sleep.

You'll see a pattern soon and figure out what he is wanting and looking for. He is so little still, so he may simply just need to be close to you too. :)

A.

Jennifer,

His crying is his way of telling you that he needs something from you. I have a 4 1/2 year old son, and a 16 month old daughter. They both have gone through multiple phases of this. It is nerve wracking, to say the least, to be woken up from a sound sleep to the shrill cry of your child.

Try putting a sippy cup of water in his crib with him, spill proof of course. That way when he wakes up there is something there for him to drink. It may be that he is just thirsty for anything, not specifically milk. My son was that way for a while. We put the cup in his crib and it stopped.

Another thing to try too, is add some soft toys, or ones that strap to the railings of his crib. This way he has some entertainment.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

Sounds like lots of people have been through this. I just wanted to add my (seemingly negative) 2 cents. I'm sure it's just a phase, but my son had Reflux and after sleeping and having his stomach empty, there would be too much acid and it causes pain.......getting something back into his tummy soothed the pain. If this phase hasn't changed at least a little by your next Dr visit, I urge you to at least bring up the issue....the damage that can be done by excess acid can cause lots of problems. I don't want to be the one scaring you....I'm sure it's all very normal....I just wanted to let you know what happened with us. We ended up trying medication and it didn't really work and we ended up starting baby food early (my son was 4 mos at the time)and the situation corrected itself.

This is normal. My son is 18+ months and has been exhibiting the same behavior for months even though, like your son, he used to wake up bright and sparkly every time. I've noticed, however, that he is more likely to wake up crying if he didn't get enough sleep. Is there any reason to think that he could use some milk before his nap? You didn't mention how long/well he naps before he wakes up crying, but being hungry could definitely be the reason for the grumpiness upon waking.

My little guy (11 months) usually wakes up crying unless he's had an abundance of sleep. Sometimes it just takes some "convincing" that he doesn't need to cry, and sometimes nothing works but food after all (although we go for a snack in the high chair). Usually he's just a bit tired still. No worries!

I've had 4 kids, 2 of which began to cry when they woke up as older infants/toddlers (during their separation anxiety phase of development). Sometimes it means they're still tired, and other times it just means they are afraid because they've woken up alone and don't know where mommmy is. The best thing you can do is go to them right away to assure them and then either help them back to sleep or get them up if you think they've slept enough. I always nurse my kids or give them a drink/snack when they wake up--it is a comfort, but I also put myself in their shoes and remember that I always feel thirsty when I wake up and know that it never hurts and really actually helps when my child's needs are all taken care of! Don't worry about this--he will grow out of it eventually. I know it can be confusing as a first-time parent. Give him lots of empathy. I've learned that when I resist their neediness they actually get more upset and clingy, but conversely, when I just go with the flow and respond quickly and sympathetically to their needs they feel more secure and relax more.

Totally normal. My daughter, now six, use to cry horribly when she awoke from any sleep time. I cuddled her and gave her a bottle. Over time you do less cuddling and more vocal reassurance that everything is alright when you wake up. Eventually, the crying stops and the words, "Mom, mom, mom" reign over the kingdom. Be patient.

Hi Jennifer,
You know I wondered the same thing, and it is very frustrating. My son is now 2 1/2 and he still does the same thing, first thing he asks for is his cuppy with milk. Weather it be nap or morning. I think it is something we will just have to outgrow? Maybe it is a personality trait, or maybe stubbornness. I am not saying your child is stubborn, because i don't know you guys, however I am saying mine is stubborn=) it might be that they are used to it and being their age, aren't really sure yet how to wake up ok, and ask for it. My son knows how to ask for his cup but whines for it... so maybe its just how they do it? Good luck, and what i have been told, this too shall pass.

It is perfectly normal. He is hungry and until he learns how to talk to tell you that, he cries to communicate his need. Maybe work on teaching him "baba." When he learns that word results in getting his milk, he may start using that instead of crying.

It could just be a phase that he will out grow. Or because it has been so warm it might just be he is really thirsty when he wakes up and doesnt have the vocabulary to tell you when he is just waking up.

I wouldn't worry about it to much. I am sure he is still a happy little guy.

I have a 3.5 year old that does the same thing. I'm sure I re-enforced the behavior when he was very young and now he is just used to crying when he wakes up!

it drives me crazy. I've tried ignoring him but I have always given in at some point so I have never broken him of it.

We do however say, "I'm so happy! to see you" "glad you're awake!"

I really think it is out of a need at first but then becomes a habit. Break it now or you'll be in my shoes one day.

I think he his hungry. My son went through this phase. He was a big boy, and each time he went through a growth spurt he was STARVING all the time. I made sure he had a protien snack right before sleep time, and a cup of milk at ready when he woke up. He even started getting up at night (for milk) after sleeping through it for months. I wouldnt worry about it, especially because its so easily fixed (by giving him milk).
at about 9 months I started teaching my son sign language for food, drink, and diaperchange. these are really easy signs, it only took him about 2 weeks to start using them, and a month before he really knew them. I was SHOCKED to learn how often he was hungry or thirsty. Dont worry about delaying his speech, its been shown that sign language actually can help speech because its all about communication.

It is possible that he has become accustomed to getting milk to soothe himself and so while he may have a bad dream, or some other ill quirk for waking and that is what he is accustomed to using to soothe himself that is why he is upset until given that particular comfort. Try another form of self soothing, it take awhile to learn new things sometimes for little ones but he'll be better prepared for the time when you're out of milk. :)

My kids didn't do this.

I think somehow you have reinforced your son's habit of crying when he wakes up and wanting milk.

What I would do. And it won't be easy is to not go into him until he stops crying. The first time he does this will be the hardest because he will cry and cry, expecting you to come running to you. Don't.

What ever you don't. Because if you do, the next time you do, he knows that if he cries long enough and loud enough, you will come to him. So don't come in.

And when you do come in come in with the biggest smile and biggest hug, tell him you love him, hold him...etc. Give him the milk...etc.

The next time he wakes he will probably cry again but don't go again...you know that he will stop eventually, even if he cries alot. When you do come in come in with the biggest smile and biggest hug, tell him you love him, hold him...etc. Give him the milk...etc.

So this may take a while, but you will notice that the crying will lessen over a while.

This is based on behavioral theory. It is real cut and dry and seems kind of harsh on the baby and you. But right now you are not having a good time either. And just imagine if this type of behavior continues.... It is much better to change it now. And since you can't talk to your son or reason with him yet, this will work, but it is not easy. Let me know how you make out. W.

My daughter started doing that around the same age. It mellows out the older they get. Now it is just every other nap and she is 4. I just keep sippy cups of milk waiting for her and try and get food into her before naps and bed. It seems to help.

Sounds like simply his way of asking for his milk! This is quite normal and probably just a phase. You'll experience lot's of new things as your child grows into his own personality. You'll look back and smile when he's older! Best wishes!

I think it's normal for your child. I have three and my second was exactly the same way. He just love, love, loved his milk. It was such a snap to make him happy. (My oldest and youngest were/are always a little more high maintenance!) Just count your blessings that you can soothe him and make him happy so easily!

My son did that too. It's prefectly normal. I could sometimes comfort him simply by holding him for a while, but most of the time he was also hungry or just needed the comfort of the milk since that was the first thing of comfort that little guys know. My son turns 4 today and he still occasionally cries when he wakes up from a nap, but most of the time, he just comes and looks for me while half awake. I'm sure your little guy will grow out of it, but it may not be until he is around 3 and can just get out of bed and come find you.

My son did this, too, and it always made me sad that he woke up so "unhappy." But he grew out of it.

BTW, I totally agree with the person who talked about the sign language. Not only does it NOT inhibit their learing to speak properly, it actually enhances it. My 4-y-o is WAY advanced beyond others his age verbally, and I credit the early sign language. They are able to communicate and form sentences in sign that they can't physically get out verbally at that age. Joseph G.'s books/videos called Sign With Your Baby: How to Communicate With Infants Before They Can Speak are fabulous and can be picked up fairly cheaply on Amazon and other websites and in stores.

Take heart! This too shall pass.

Hi Jennifer,

My first instinct, like many others it seems, is to think he is probably hungry when he wakes up. He is right at an age where growth is REALLY TREMENDOUS, both in his body and his brain cells. While the body sleeps, much of that cell growth is taking place, and it is very possible that he is just waking up famished!

Remember, he is also getting ready to begin talking--you can help him in this process by talking to him, in plain but simple English (PLEASE no baby talk!)and trying to "mirror" what you think he is trying to tell you. For example, when you go in to him, you can say things like, "you are waking up and you want your milk?" "Are you hungry?" "Did you M. Mommy? I'm right here, sweetie"
Even if you aren't getting the interpretation exactly right, he is listening and learning the language from your words. Being able to SAY something comes after being able to UNDERSTAND the words.

Sometimes, when a brain growth is happening in preparation for a new stage--such as language development--the child can also simply find the whole process unsettling. Nap time and sleep time at night are times when his body is really chugging along with all that growth and development, so he may be also having dreams that bother him or he may simply sense "something is happening" that is beyond what he already knows.

I always tried to put myself in my daughters' place and developmental stage when trying to deal with issues like this, and have found that there are often some real insights to be had when doing so. Imagine that you are this age, and that your body and mind are jumping in leaps and bounds beyond what you have been able to do up until now! It's a bit frustrating, maybe somewhat scary, and definitely overwhelming--so even if he just needs reassurance and extra loves from you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving that to him.

He will grow into a very secure and happy little boy if you meet his needs now, reassuring him that he has all the support he needs through all this growth and change. And, by the way, extra cuddles for him are also extra cuddles for you! Enjoy them while you've got them!

I know this response is a little late and I didn't read all the other responses you have already recieved but I just wanted to tell you my daughter was like that. It wasn't just milk though, she just wanted milk or juice or a treat, anything. She just woke up in a bad mood and tasting something yummy helped her feel better. She is now three and doesn't do it anymore and hasn't for a while. I don't think its a big deal or anything, just part of her personality.