Is My Child 'Normal' or a Brat

Oh yes, it's normal.. and bratty! They are one and the same in 2 year olds :)

Dr. Sears has some expert advice for you in dealing with this kid of behavior:
http://askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior

This is normal behavior. This is the age when they want to show more independence. You have received some great advice from others. I did a lot of what Victoria C. said and it helped. Actually, I still do that. :)

I would just add that I would try giving him more opportunities to make choices for himself. So for snack, tell him he can have this or that. If he fusses and wants something else, just repeat the choices and then add, or you can have no snack. Then if he starts to throw a fit, walk away.

It is okay to give in occasionally but you must stand firm most of the time. The last thing you want to do is teach him that if he gets really loud or if he throws a big enough fit he will get what he wants. Making him change his tone and then giving in is still letting him dictate the situation.

I mostly agree with the other replies so far. I would add to tell him before hand what you expect from him. Before going to the store tell him he must ride in the front of the cart. Remind him again on the way in. Do not give in.
Tell him what the snack options for the day are.
Occasionally reward him for good behavior. Don't do it every time.
Get it in check before you have another one to deal with at the same time!
I am sure you are a good mom. It is a hard job!

It's normal behavior but it you don't address some things he will become a brat. I think you need to pick your battles, if he is hungry then compromise with a healthy snack. I was always big on warnings, if you don't sit in the cart we will have to leave and then follow through. The wonderful thing about discipline is you only have to follow through and put up with the screaming a few times and they know you mean business, after that they learn real quick and the protests become less and less. You know that if he learns to carry on to get things you are sending him a message that it works and he will continue to do that every time he doesn't get his way. I love this saying by Dr. Phil, "Pick you battles, and when you do make sure you win!!!" Good luck!!

Just wait until 3. ;)

this is the beginning of terrible twos. it is very normal. but stick to your guns and don't give in. Get the book 1,2,3 magic and start him out with that right from the start and you won't have any problems. he is testing his boundries so you need to set some.

Hmmm... well... I wouldn't say he's a brat, but it does sound like he's on track to potentially becoming one. (you wanted honesty, right?) You aren't doing him any favors by always giving in if he whines enough, cries enough, or asks enough. You need to set some boundaries with him now -- because you won't be able to when he's 12. Start by sticking to your guns. If you say no to a snack, don't give in. In fact, tell him he needs to stop asking or else he'll lose a priviledge or go in time out. The book 1-2-3 Magic would be really helpful...

Both, and I say this because my 2.5 year old is also a challenge, sweet and lovable at times, wanting his way at others, and it's actually a sign of their new-found independence. So I am in no way criticizing you or your son.

That being the case, it's no fun but you have to be consistent and not give in or he will continue to think it's OK to behave that way. He IS actually dictating (or attempting to if you don't allow it) what happens when he does this. Calming him down and making him ask nicely still shows him his tantrum got him his way in the long run, if he did it on his own then it would mean he realized his actions were wrong, which will come in time. My guy is starting to say "I'm sorry" now and meaning it. Decide on a consequence for the unacceptable behavior and stick to it, the sooner the better. {{HUGS}}

3 haha wait until he's 13. At least now you can pick him up and physically hold him or place him in a crib. At 13 my son was bigger than me and a huge booger!!

Be very consistent with him and let him know the consequences of the actions.
YOu'll get through it.

My take is that all kids are brats sometimes and so are grown ups. None of us behave perfectly all the time. We have our own ways that we throw fits. They have theirs. He sounds perfectly well within the normal range and so do you.

2's are just preparing you for 3's & 4's....& if you are consistent enough with your authority, 5 will be much easier..........good luck, i am on my last 4 yr old

my 3yo is that way sometimes too, and was definitely that way when she was 2 also! We had a lot of time-outs and tantrums, but it worked pretty well. She still gets bratty sometimes (like the last week!) but we just keep reminding her that we said no, and that means to stop asking, and that asking the other parent is not going to change the answer either. If she keeps whining or asking, we say "do you want to sit in the corner?" and usually she'll say no of course, so we tell her she needs to listen and stop asking when we've already said no. If she throws a fit after that, or is still whining/asking, we put her in time out for about a minute, depending on how bad her tantrum is.

I notice behavior like this much more in my 2.5 yr old boy than I did in his older sister. He can be stubborn. We try to be firm and consistent since we've been told and read that they are just testing their limits. We also started more consequence to this behavior than just saying no...you have to carry through on the consequence. For example if he doesn't eat a meal because he would rather play than he doesn't get anything until the next snack or meal time. Sometimes it is the same meal again...but many meals I know don't keep well.
When he continues to raise his voice I try to keep my as even as possible.

99.999% of the time the answer to the question: "Is it normal if my two year old..." is YES!

How terrible your twos are depends totally on how firm and consistent you are with discipline. Lots of books will tell you to be light on discipline and "expect" the difficult behavior. Which makes sense, right? You should expect it if you're light on discipline. Now everyone also claims it's normal for 3s and 4s to be even worse, which did not used to be the case before these books flooded the market. I hear people saying things are "age appropriate" for 4 year olds that sound down right nuts.

My third, who is now two, was WAY more challenging than my other two, and way more challenging than the things you list, starting from a much younger age, but even she is doing excellently becoming a respectful controlled young lady with good toddler discipline. Your son is not too young to learn, "No means no", "do not block the cart", "do not throw fits when you don't get your way" etc. Actually, the fact that you can coax him to calm down and ask nicely at 2 without him spinning into a major fit shows he has a very nice natural demeanor and will catch on quickly.

Check out the book Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson if you want to progress into good 2s, 3s and 4s instead of scary ones! Yes, he's normal! Good work identifying that he is taking charge and caring if he becomes poorly behaved. You're half way there!

Normal 2 year old. I am in the same position with mine :) Hang in there!

It is normal BUT it is your child testing you and this behavior will continue unless you stand firm and NOT give into him. If you give in one time that erases ALL the times you did not give in. Most kids will act "worst" at home because they feel safe there and that they can try and push the bondries. Have rules and always stick by them: ask nicely if you want something (but just because you ask nicely dose not always mean you will get what you want because it may not be the best for you at that time), we do not yell or hit to get our way, if you have a bad attitude you will go to your room till you have a better attitude (also sitting in time out if it works for your child, for a few minutes). These are just a few we have in place, my daughter is 5 and she know she will not get away with anything. Of course she still tries pushing the rules, kids do that, but we stick by our rules so she respects us as soon as we call her out on what she is doing.

He is testing boudaries and finding out what works and what doesn't. You are essentially teaching him that when he raises his voices gets loud and demanding then that is what works. Over inulged children are not happy. They grow up to be unhappy adults. They expect the world to react the way you are now. And I am sorry to say that they often grow up to be manipulative bullies. Overindulgence is one of the worst parenting mistakes according to good ole Dr. Phil. Right now you are doing what feels good to you. But you have to do what is best for him. I have seen more cases of toddler tantrum solved by the mother simply picking up the toddler and leaving the store immediatly. Take your cart to management and say I am sorry but I need to leave. Management won't get mad and will most likely be grateful along with the other shoppers. Once you do this several times your son will learn that misbehavior= end of outing. And you may leave him at home with someone for the longer outings. Those are hard on very young children. The carts hurt, they are bored and everyone else is running around having fun but him. He does not do this with others yet. But he will eventually try. He is exhibiting bully behavior even though he doesn't know it. But if mom is asking is my child a brat? I am sorry to say there are others that have been thinking that a while. Good Luck and keep us posted.

He sounds alot like my son. This seems to be the age where they are trying to gain independence. They realize they aren't in control and they don't like it. So they start challenging and pushing limits and boundaries. Your sons not a brat, just strong willed and smart. He's testing you!
What we have learned that works very well for our son is giving him all kinds of other choices. "What do you want to wear today?" and we show him 2 or 3 outfits to pick from.
"what do you want for breakfast?" "Do you want water or milk with dinner?" "Do you want to leave now or in ten minutes?"
Just think of anything thats not a big deal, and let him choose. This gives them a sense of control, and pride. Our son beams when we let him pick things himself. We have started keeping charts as well, although your son may be a little young for this.
When your son yells because you are saying no to a request, give him a time out. Calmly tell him yelling is not allowed, give him a time out. And after don't lecture him about it, just drop the issue unless he does it again. Repeat the consequence. He has to know where the boundaries are, and what they are. It actually makes them feel more secure when they know that you are in charge and in control.
Get the book parenting with love and logic. It has GREAT ideas. It's helped us immensely!!

I try to teach my toddler acceptable ways of showing anger and frustration.

Yes, I agree with everyone else, toddlers need boundarys but as parents we need to model and teach them appropriate responses.

I also try to acknowledge my toddler's demands, "I know you want to eat all the candy at the grocery store but we had a treat last week so we can't this week. That's why it's called a treat."

Obvisouly, depending on the age and level of frustration you will need to reduce the number of words.

I'm not superb at dealing with my own anger so this is where I struggle, but I suggest ways my toddler can show his anger - stamp his foot and say, I'm mad!!, go to his room and cuddle his favorite stuffed animal for a few minutes, etc.

I also try to pick my battles. For example, if he doesn't want to get in the cart, I might let him hang on the end while I push, or sit in the spot meant to groceries, or threaten to put him in the Ergo and carry him.

This is just what I do, hopefully it gives you a few options if needed. Good luck, it's hard work!