Hi Moms. My 10 month old son used to co-sleep in our bed until two weeks ago I put him in his own crib. And moved his crib into our room. The first night was rough, cried for two hours then feel asleep. The following nights he only cried about ten mins before falling out. The first week he would wake up once every night then goes back to sleep within 5 mins. However this week he seems to be fighting being in the crib more than before. It would take over an hr of crying for him to finally fall asleep every time, even for naps.. Then he would wake up three to five times, crying for 10-20 mins each time then falling back to sleep. We don't pat him or give him a bottle per Dr's advice. We just adjust to his crying knowing he is safe and waits for him to fall back asleep. Is this okay to do? Is this still normal after two weeks of training? Thanks in advance for your response.
For everyone's sake, move the crib to his bedroom. You need to "let go" for the baby's sake. He can't adjust while seeing you guys in the same room. That's like holding chocolate in front of a person on a diet. Or water in front of a patient who must not drink water until they take a medical test.
Everyone is different, but I am against cry-it-out, especially when it's as long as you're stating. It seems this method is not working & you should try something else. I understand some babies do well with this method (though I would not advocate it); however, it's not a one size fits all method. I recommend putting him to sleep more gently, some rocking, some patting, so he learns that sleep is a good thing...& sleeping alone is a good thing. Maybe he is feeling abandoned or frightened. If he is, it will cause you big problems down the road. He is going through a lot of changes. Not only is he not sleeping next to Mommy & sleeping in his crib, but he is crying himself to sleep (probably b/c he is exhausted from crying). I recommend slowing things down & taking a more gentle route. I do know people who've tried this method & noticed behavioral changes in their child (confidence, self-esteem, behavior, etc.). Just don't assume everyone does this & you "need to get used to the crying" b/c not everyone does it. Good luck.
Why would you EVER deny your son of patting or calming? He's YOUR SON!!! He obviously needs the comfort and security because babies don't just cry for no reason. Your doctor sounds heartless and probably doesn't have children of their own?
I read a study done on puppies- the puppies who were given love and comfort become more independent and loving when grown than the puppies who were denied comfort and love.
I'm sure this sounds harsh, and I'm sure there are moms out there who think letting your baby cry until they are too tired to anymore is fine, but I don't.
LOVE your baby and let him know you're there for him. He's only 10 months old!!!!
I personally don't agree w/ the cry it out method either. If you did research, even on children, letting them cry deprives their very young developing brain of the much needed oxygen. It also creates an anxious, untrusting individual. I could understand going for a couple mins and maybe up to 15 mins but 2hrs??? I'm sure he isn't crying non-stop but I never let me son cry it out, and now at 1yo he feels secure enough to put himself down w/ out crying. Go in there, stroke his back, sing to him, just let him know you are there. I would pick him up just enough to comfort and put him back down, he may cry again but I would wait a little longer each time and eventually he went down w/ out a fight. To me it was worth the patience...
my oldest cried himself to sleep till he was 3 yrs old. listen to his crying. if he has gaps of silence this is good. if his gaps get farther apart it means hes just fighting sleep. if there is no gaps and not farther apart I would check on him after 20 min and put him to sleep instead. this usually means hungry sick or teething or whatever. use your better judgement and listen to your instincts on this.even babies who cry themselves to sleep do need to be put to sleep once in a while. they are babies. this rule worked good for me so I hope this helps put you at ease.
Babies cryiing is not a bad thing.
My mom always said it builds their lungs. A baby who never cries won't grow up to be a sturdy child.
Some cries are different than others. Fussing is fussing and it's okay to let a baby fuss.
It really is.
Don't rush in. Get used to a little crying.
Every mom and every child are different. You need to decide what both you and your child can deal with, but you must keep the end result in mind. What do you want? Do you want your son to co-sleep for a bit more, or do you want him to be able to fall asleep on his own?
If you want him to fall asleep on his own, I would suggest moving his crib into his own room, and establishing a concrete bedtime routing (bath, book, bed). If the CIO method is not working, or is making both of you crazy than modify it a bit.
I bought the "No Cry Sleep Solution" book. After three days of following its suggestions (go in after 3 mins, 5 mins, 7 mins, 10 mins etc)...my son was absolutely petrified of not only sleeping, but of his crib and room as well!!
So, I threw all of that out the window and did my own little thing. I basically went in stages, once we passed one stage (consistently falling asleep for 3 days in a row) we moved onto the next. Stage 1: he was in the crib, I was next to him rubbing his back, talking to him. Stage 2: he was in crib, I was next to him only talking to him, no rubbing his back. Stage 3: he was in the crib, I was standing next to the crib, no rubbing no talking. Stage 4: he was in the crib, I was in the glider across the room, occasionally talking to him. Stage 5: he was in the crib, I was in the glider silent. Stage 6: he was in the crib, I was in the doorway occasionally talking to him. Stage 7: he was in the crib, I was in the doorway silent. Stage 8: he was in the crib I was out of sight, but would occasionally talk to him. Stage 9: he went to sleep completely on his own.
For us, this was a long process - about 6-8 weeks, but it worked. And all of that work is sooooooo worth it in the end.
Any time anyone visits, they comment on how shocked they are at our nap/bedtime routine. No problems at all now!!!!
Again, this is definitely the long route, but when all else fails, it is an option.
Good luck!
