Irrational Fear

Hey L.. Do you have access to a larger boat? {like a 'party boat'}, that he could ride on? Not sure what your boat is (assuming small row boat or a canoe). Can he express his fear? Is it the feel of the boat on the water? that water will get in the boat and sink it? that the boat will tip over? Does walking out on a wharf bother him? Will he swim in a pond or lake, beyond where he can stand easily, in say waist/hip deep water? Not sure if any of these things will help, or help you get some answers, but hope it's a start!

I find that if you give them something that they can be in control of that helps. If he wants to get back on a boat try to let him drive it. If he has something that he can control and keep his mind busy he won't have time to panic. Also plan the trip for a short ride and then make it longer and longer. If he is doing good and suddenly wants to go in, head in even if it is ruinning the day he needs to feel in control and safe. Also keep the shore in sight. Once he has a few good experiences he may get over his phobia. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Hi L.,
I would do some visualizations with him and also talk to him while he is asleep- hypnotic suggestion- moms can do this naturally and help to soothe their children's fears. Also, have him write about it, his concerns, his anxieties- that will help him to release the anxiety he has inside.

Please feel free to let me know if you have questions.

J. S.
www.jillsylvester.com

L.,

My youngest son is afraid of heights. So we do avoid situations that would make him uncomfortable. Being afraid of boats just might be his thing he is not comfortable doing, he may always be like this. Doesn't mean he cannot go fishing, just not on a boat. I would not force him at all. Maybe when he is older he can make the choice to step on a boat again. Good luck!

D.

Have you tried smaller boats? Sounds crazy, but a paddle boat of kayak with you might be a way to start out slowly, just along shore, in water that he knows he can just stand up in. Lack of control may be a contributor...perhaps he can paddle with you right behind him? Is he able to verbalize what the crux of his fear is? Sinking, drowning, not getting back to shore? Maybe breaking it down to smaller issues would be a way to start working through it? Good luck, it is so hard to see them so fearful :)

I guess I would be careful about labeling it an "irrational" fear, since it sounds like it is quite reasonably (rather than irrationally) based on a very real experience where a boat took on water. Thus, it's not exactly irrational but him applying his past experience to the future (which is very rational). I agree it would be helpful to understand exactly what he's afraid of to see if he can apply logic or learn why what he fears is unlikely. I agree even more that it's not worth pushing him on, that's likely to just make it worse.

best of luck!