My 6 yo son is constantly asking questions. I suppose to some extent it's good, because he's curious. However, I don't always want to nor feel I'm required to answer all of them. Sometimes they are questions he's already asked. It can be maddening. At times I respond with, I don't have to answer that question, or I've already answered that question, so think about what the answer was when you asked it earlier. Sometimes the questions are invasive--the answers in my opinion are none of his business. He doesn't always need to know who I'm talking to on the phone. He doesn't need to know every bit of information about others. How do you mamas handle the incessant questioning?
If it is a question already asked, "What was my answer the last time you asked? " It is still the same answer.
Nosy question, "That not any of our business."
Inquisitive, "What do you think?"
you do not know the answer. "Remind me and we will look that up".
On the phone. "I am on the phone, privacy please."
Later remind him "It is rude manners to speak with you when you are on the phone. "
My little guy asks (and has always asked) a MILLION questions a minute! Because he has ADHD his mind is NOTICING a million things all the time, and he sees stuff he doesn't understand so he ASKS. He's not trying to be a pest. He also has a very hard time understanding cues about whether he is bothering you etc., so he needs a lot of direct instruction in social norms.
Because of his social challenges and in spite of them, I think it's really important that he get HONEST feedback about the social appropriateness of what he's doing. He needs to hear more than "I don't have to answer that." or "I've already answered that." because that's about ME...
he needs to hear "It is not good manners to ask people about what they do in the bathroom." or "Telephone conversations are private. If they need to talk to you, I will let you know. Otherwise, it is not polite to ask about a private conversation." or (an example from yesterday) "Even though you could hear her yelling before she opened the door, she stopped before she answered, she did not want you to hear. It is not okay to ask your friend's mom why she was yelling at her child." or even just "When you ask the same question more than once, people think you don't listen to them. Also you seem like a pest."
Someone once wrote that children ask questions (even the redundant 'why' ones) to connect with us.
Some things I do are what Laurie A. does. "Oh, I think you know that one. Close your eyes and try to remember..."
Sometimes I try to move him along (at five, we can get stuck on excessive question mode): "You know, I'd like to talk about something else now. Have you noticed the.....?"
Phone questions/interrupting is rude. I have a simple hand signal-- One index finger up means "in a minute or two, please, you're interrupting" and then I turn my back. No eye contact, etc. If it continues, I politely excuse myself for a moment and walk him to a separate space and tell him "I'll talk to you when I'm finished. Do not interrupt me again unless you are hurt or bleeding." Curt, but clearly makes a boundary. Then, if interruption continues, it's time for some Time Out or Time Alone in Your Room, even after I'm off the phone.
Nosy questions get the big brush off: "That's between me and so-and-so and I'm not going to discuss it with you. " Broken record that one if need be...
And too much questioning: "I think I need five minutes of quiet time now. I'm putting the timer on... if you need to talk, go to your room."
Just like I would on here - "have you googled it?"
My spinal reflex is ALWAYS to answer a question with a question "What do YOU think?" or "Why do YOU think that is?"
The only downside is that it can be hard to control your temper when they turn it around on you! (Came out of the bathroom to find my son with 13 paper cups on the floor pouring/spilling red kool aid... I said "WHAT are you DOING!?!?" and the little stinker said in a PERFECT imitation of me "what do YOU think?"
Every now and then, to change it up I throw in a "to make little boys ask questions! Is it working?"
If it is questions that is none of his business... then teach him that some things are just not privy to his knowing.
He is 6, he can learn that.
He is inquisitive. Kids don't know they are being "nosy." At that age.
I have 2 very inquisitive kids.
I like that in them.
But if I don't feel like answering them or if I feel it is none of their business... I just tell them "It is adult matters...." or "it is an adult conversation...." and they understand.
OR... I will just be completely honest with them and say "Mommy is tired of answering questions right now... my head can't even think or focus, I am busy.... " and they get it.
To a question already asked: "What do you think?"
To a nosy question "Go play please."
To a question he's not ready to hear the answer to "That's complicated, we'll talk about it when you get older."
ETA:
When all else fails "Because why has a long tail...."
