I have had a problem with my libido ever since I went on birth control right after my husband I got married. I had a ton of burning and itching and it was just uncomfortable to do anything. That was 8 years ago, since then I have either been pregnant or nursing with my youngest child only 7 weeks. I am confident he is my last but I don't want to do anything permanent yet. I pretty sure I want to try the Mirena IUD. Does anyone know if it will affect my libido for better or worse. Being a mother of 4 small children aside, what can I do to increase my libido. Please understand my husband is very understanding and that I want to do this for myself. Sex is everywhere and everyone seems to love and crave it. I feel like I'm missing out. I love my husband and I'm very attracted to him but it ends there. I want to want sex more. I'm not worried that my husband has or will go else where but I do feel that he would be happier if I wanted it more. I hate thinking that he may feel rejected. Please any tips suggestion or support is much appreciated. Thank you.
I don't have any advice. Just wanted to say I am right there with you. I would be happy if I never had to do it again. My husband, like yours is understanding but he does get frustrated with me from time to time. I'm curious as what responses you get. Hoping to pick up on some ideas.....Just wanted you to know you are not alone!
Google Dr. Laura Berman, a noted and respected sex therapist. She has a great daily e-newsletter called "The Passion Files." It gives great down-to-earth ideas about all sorts of sexual issues. Everything I've tried from her e-newsletter has worked brilliantly.
Additionally, from personal experience, I know that when my kids were small, having the energy to devote to sex was nearly impossible to find. It got marginally better when my husband picked up more of the household responsibilities (we both worked full time). Now that my boys are teens, and I can sleep my normal hours, my libido is nearly back to where it was before babies (too bad my husband's isn't <wink>)! Perhaps your husband could pick up one or two evening responsibilities so you can have some down time to recharge your batteries so you can share some energy with him?
I know it seems depressing to think you have to wait until your kids are teens for the rest you need to feel sexual again. That was just my experience. If I knew 10-15 years ago, what I know now (thanks to Dr. Laura and others), well, let's just say I'd do things differently to keep the bedroom fires burning!
Good luck!
PS: I read this on one of my various news sites on the health page. This article said that couples who take the time to tongue kiss at least once each day feel more connected and intimate with their partner. On a whim, I emailed this article to my husband and every day since then, I've gotten at least one GREAT kiss a day, which has definitely revved my engines up more than usual. Give it a try...it may work for you, too!
See your ObGyn and have your testosterone levels checked. Women actually need some of that hormone as well, and it can be really low. Couldn't hurt to have a full physical at the same time. But it is not uncommon to have low libido with little kids running around, no privacy, no sleep.
I dont have any advice for you on the Mirena but I do know that I was the same way as you. My birth control pill has made me not want sex at all and I hate that for both me and my husband. I am currently 8 weeks pregnant with baby number 2 and suffering from wicked nausea so that is what is currently killing my sex drive but before when I was taking birth control I felt the same way and I always worried that my husband would feel rejected which is totally not the case but luckily for me he is very understanding as well. I would just try condoms for awhile to see if your sex drive comes back on its own and if not then maybe its time to talk to your doctor and have your hormone levels checked
Good Luck
Best thing I ever did was get off of birth control. We use condoms when we're not in the 'safe zone' of my cycle, which I've charted for years. We've been successful in not becoming pregnant for 3 years now. Other than that, I'm not sure what else to say, as each person has different turn-ons. Maybe go buy yourself some nice lingeree or pajamas or panties that you think make you look hot. Your hubs will like anything, and will likely tear it off of you quickly anyhow. So stick with something that you like and that you feel comfortable in (I bought these boy shorts at Target. Not thongs, but Hubs doesn't care. I'm comfortable. They show butt cheeks. They're easy to take off ...... Just get what you like is what I'm trying to say). My only other tip if you are worried that he will feel rejected is make it your goal to NOT reject him when he initiates the sex. No matter how tired I am or how un-in-the-mood I am, I have never told him 'no'. And don't forget to initiate it yourself. That should be a big turn-on for your hubs right away! Good luck! Have fun! And believe me, everything you see on tv is NOT the way that everyone is doing it. I WISH!
No advice or experience with Mirena, but I will say that I had the same side effect with the pill. I didn't even realize it until got off birth control. I wish my doctor (and the packaging) had made this side effect more clear, as it was a point of contention in our marriage. Like you, I refuse to go back on the pill and am interested in the responses here, as we will be searching for a new method soon. Best of luck!
