So, we just finished hosting my in laws for an early Christmas weekend. They are difficult and my husband has a strained relationship with both of them. My MIL did her usual rude/insensitive routine, this time it consisted of referring to herself as "mommy" to my child; getting jealous that my son paid more attention to grandpa than her, and dealing with it by saying over and over again that "He's a 'guy's guy'" (Which was RUDE because it implies he is not attached to me); running out of the room crying when my husband pointed out that it was a little hurtful - and never offering an apology; and, this morning when I was alone with her, cornering me and putting pressure on AGAIN to host them in January, when we already told her we'll be busy and we just hosted them this month, and last month!
The stress has taken a toll and I need to relax! I don't want to feel run down for Christmas. So my question is, how to decompress/celebrate the fact that they're GONE?
Good luck to everyone else dealing with crazy family this Christmas!
You all are really making me smile! :) Thank you!!!!!!!!
NOTHING helps me shake off a bad day that more than exercise and the great outdoors! Go take a walk in the beautiful Florida sunshine! Merry Christmas!
Shopping/Wine/Chocolate - in any order that you like. :)
Seriously though - go for a walk or something to get your heart rate up and work out some of that stress. Get it out of your system.
Merry Christmas!!!!!!
I'm thinking you need a dart board and your dear mil's face in the bulls eye. Or a plastic baseball bat with her face taped to a pillow.
Vodka...it's what's for dinner!
(with apologies to the beef industry!)
Bailey's and coffee works well for me.
:)
How about some platitudes? "Just say No!" "Honesty is the Best Policy."
Seriously though, She made your life so miserable that you're asking others to help you feel better. Time to tell her: your drama, mini-tantrums, comments, and lack of emotional control make us all uncomfortable, so we'd rather just keep to telephone visits for the time being. If she gets mad, so be it. [shrug] Sounds like she's aggravated all the time anyway and maybe she'd get a clue.
Try not to let this ruin the rest of the week and the holidays coming up...let it go and be glad she came this past weekend instead of over Christmas.
[hugs]
RED WINE... or a Starbucks Peppermint Mocha?
OUt of curiousity why is saying "He's a 'guy's guy'" rude and imply your your son is not attached to you? (Kids go thru 'favorites' phases I'm sure you know=) ) Are you positive referring to herself as mommy was on purpose? (I do this with my neice sometimes w/out thinking but usually correct myself)
I am a brat so I would do something they wouldn't approve of. Like Baileys and coffee as before mentioned! I would get a broom and sweep the negative energy out the front door (yes, I know it's not real) but symbolicy you would be making a point of clearing your house of negativity.
Then go on a long slow leasurely shopping trip.
Well, I decompress by running and baking :) I would strap on those sneakers and hit the pavement for a good run/walk walk it out and pump the jams until you feel sane again. Then come home and whip up a huge batch of rum balls (and maybe a rum & coke on the side - lol) or sugar cookies or pumpkin bread and then kick your feet up and watch trashy TV and chill (my recent favorite is "how do I look?" on the style channel!).
You made it!!
a nice glass of your choice of alcohol and a good book and hot bubble bath :)
Take a long walk, by yourself. No kids. Get a foot massage. Nails done.
I too, just had my in laws here for an early Christmas get together. They were not so bad though! Some things drive me nuts but they are also very kind and helpful...
Listen to your favorite relaxing music, get together with a girlfriend for dinner or a drink.
These are all things I think would be relaxing :-)
To decompress, I would make myself a nice cup of tea or coffee, turn on some xmas music and just sit back and relax and let the holiday spirit fill you up! Look at the tree; anticipate your son's excitement xmas morning; think of good, fun things. Let the stress fall away!
We just did Christmas with the in-laws yesterday and I tell myself "Thank God - I have a whole year to relax before we have to go through that again!!"
Gah... in-laws!!! Be happy that it's over. Take a bath, drink a glass of wine and be grateful that they are gone and it's over. It sounds like you have a healthy view of the dysfunction and don't really take it personally. Your MIL sounds like a piece of work...
Glad your inlaws are gone. Much as you want to celebrate their good riddance, try to hold off till little ones are asleep. Prob not good for them to see you party when "mommy" leaves.
good luck to you and yours,
F. B.
Woo Hoo!
This last ordeal/visit is over with and now you can really enjoy yourself!
A long hot bath helps to relax me.
If she/he/anyone does something at the time...question them about it (it absolutely can be turned around and not make you look like a lunatic).
Exercise a;ways works for me to make me feel better....I think about certain clients during kick boxing.
They are gone now. mark that off your list!! Yea!! Do something to fix it though, your life isn't suppose to be miserable.
it seems from the outside you may have been a little overly sensive, I would have thought all of those things were rude that you described when my daughter was 2 but now i realize i was overly sensitive about things with her..she is my only and i was learning how to parent...and still am every day=) but stating that he's a guys guy is not to imply he doesnt love you, i'm sure its to comfort herself since she feels sad that he seems to like grandpa more. Parents do the same thing, if the daughter likes daddy, shes a daddys girl excetera, and i'm sure when your husband defended you, it felt as though her son neglescted to care for her and made her a little sad that instead of comforting her that his son doesnt really like her yet, he chose to pile on and make it about his wife..she probably wants to come more so your son gets to know her, she may feel badly that he doesnt and seems to not want anything to do with her.
I'd suggest one one one time for your son and her, it will take away the distractions of the people he finds the most fun, mom, dad, grandpa, and make him get to know her, and also give you a break from her. Why not plan a date night when they come?
