Imaginary Friends, How Long?

Updated on February 04, 2011
J.V. asks from Wheaton, IL
17 answers

My daughter has a very active imagination. In any case, her "friends" have been around for a year now. She will be 3 in March. I had read that they were more like a momentary thing, like 6 months or so.

How long were your kids "friends" around? I'm starting to take it personally, as if I just don't provide her with enough social activities, but I know that this just isn't the case, she just wants "friends" to make bday cakes for, etc.

What can I do next?

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T.S.

answers from Sacramento on

My son had a whole imaginary home... his farm... on which lived all his imaginary friends, mostly animals. He also had a car there that was forever waiting to get out of the shop, and a large vegetable garden that he kept forgetting to bring veggies home from. His alter-ego was a "baby camel" and for about a year and a half (2 1/2 to 4) the baby camel was a part of every conversation.

Then one day, I hadn't heard anything about him in a week or so, and suddenly DS said "You know, my baby camel is only imaginary."

3 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter had an imaginary family (husband - Jim and 2 kids James and Jimmy. For all her imagination she was not very creative with the names LOL). I think she had them for about 2 years ages 3 - 4 It actually is a sign of a bright child and my daughter is now in the gifted classes in middle school.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

My son's "40 grandpa" hung around for several years (started at age 2... strong presence until about age 4, checked in from time to time from 5-6). His concept of his 40 Grandpa is that I'm 1. My mum is 2. Her mum is 3. Her mum's mum's is 4. etc... all the way out to a 40Grandmother.

At around age 4 his 40 grandpa introduced him to Sing Tsank, who was my son's best friend a long time ago in china, but who was now a small child (about age 2) that needed my son to take care of him / play with him/ love on him until he died. ((Concept being that Sing Sank was actually a very old man still living in China, but that his mind was "walk about" / aka alzeheimers type... so kiddo was supposed to care for the man's spirit until the man finally let his spirit go)). Sing Tsank was never a constant presence but would show up for a few weeks, be gone for a few weeks, show up for a few weeks, etc. When my son was 6 going on 7 he cried for 3 days because Sing Tsank finally "died".

My son is now 8, and while he remembers both Sing Tsank & his 40 grandpa... it's nebulous. Even though this kid has a memory like an elephant and can recall quite easily events from about 18mo onward. They're "gone".

I'll treasure kiddo's 40 Grandpa and Sing Tsank for the rest of my life.

((ROFL... I just popped up with a memory of Sing Tsank, actually. I was "pushing him on the swing" at one point for kiddo, and as expected the empty swing was kind of wildly swinging. "Mom!" kiddo interjected "Spirits don't weigh anything, he's not going to slow the swing down... push SLOWER."))

My son has ALWAYS been a raging extrovert, and very, very social. There is NO way I could provide him with all the social interaction he craves. It takes him about a week of being with 10+ kids 24/7 for him to seek out small periods of time alone (from actual experience). He is just NOT a "play by yourself" kind of guy.

I remember being kind of worried about his 40 grandpa in the beginning. But, come to find, he gave pretty good advice to kiddo... "Mom, my 40 grandpa says I should come apologize. *I* don't think I should apologize, but he says I might have hurt your feelings." ... "Mom... 40 Grandpa says that we all get scared, but we need to figure out if we're scared for the right reasons. Is that right? What are the "right" reasons to be scared? He wouldn't tell me. He said to ask you." Miss that man, actually. Quite a bit.

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T.B.

answers from Washington DC on

My four year old daughter has an imaginary little brother named Plex (Yo Gabba Gabba...lol). She will periodically say "Momma did you know Plex slept in the bathtub last night?" or "Momma I made Plex pancakes for dinner?" It's all perfectly normal. She is in preschool and is very much a social butterfly with a very active imagination. Now if only I could get an imaginary maid...cook....bottle washer...lol ;D

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M.F.

answers from Youngstown on

Oh I love to hear about imaginary friends! I had them for years when I was younger. Shari and Steven..lol they were great. I had real friends and sisters and a great mom to play with too. My imagination was HUGE! My older kids didn't have any and I wish they would have. If I were you I would just enjoy the fact that she has a great imagination and even play with her "friends" once in a while. Before you know it the "friends" will move away (mine went to Florida) and that will be the end of them. Have fun with your little girl!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

http://www.babyzone.com/toddler/toddler_development/artic...

Just do a Google search on "Imaginary friends in toddlers' etc.

Its normal.
My daughter was like that...since she was about 2 years old.
She is now 8, and says she remembers her imaginary friends and their names. She does not play with them now... but still remembers them fondly.

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E.H.

answers from Washington DC on

my son just turned 4 and he has been friends with "Ink" for almost a year now. but he is just starting to play nicely with other kids and does not play with ink as much. i think it's such a sweet phase and really lets you into their little minds and how they think. enjoy:)

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A.F.

answers from Burlington on

My daughter is 3.5 and has a whole slew of "friends". They come and go. Some go visit auntie or nana for a bit and then she swaps them out for some others. They've been around for about 1.5 years or so. I'm not concerned at all. She is an only and I'm a single mom, but we do LOTS of social stuff: story time, music class, open gym, playdates, etc. I've heard that it's a sign of intelligence...I think she's super smart, so maybe? Don't take it personally, enjoy that she's entertaining herself (well, her friends!).

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I had an imaginary friend until kindergarten and stopped when I saw other kids didn't have one. I was socialized fine and had friends. I simply had a great imagination and desired a friend who wanted to do whatever I wanted...haha!
I was fine. I grew up to be a normal, well adjusted person. Don't take this personally, because it's not personal. She's a kid and having fun. No big deal.

1 mom found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

My oldest son, his name is Korbin...had an imaginary friend who hung around from around 3yrs-5yrs...he is now 7 and he still remembers his "friend" but doesn't pay with him anymore.

Don't take it personally, I believe it's very normal!

~ What does it say about my son that his imaginary friend's name was "imaginary Korbin"? Ha-Ha! He's such a silly guy! I remember having to go into the other room when he told me his name, I didn't want to laugh at him but it was freaking hilarious...he obviously didn't use to much imagination on coming up with a name!

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

My stepgranddaughter had imaginaries until she had a couple of baby brothers. She was 6 when they ceased to exist.

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

My nephew had a whole group of imaginary friends for about 2 years.

Just for fun......a friend of mine has a little boy who is 4. His imaginary friend's name is Feces. My friend could about melt in embarassment each time he talks about his "friend" to people, but I think it's adorable! :)

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R.P.

answers from Cleveland on

i had one till i was about 8ish and i blamed everything i did on her its just something kids go through and i think they figure if they ask for in ur case cake for their "Friend" they will be able to get something they normally wouldnt

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S.H.

answers from Spokane on

My SD had one named Michelle and she was around for a couple of years but as soon as she started school we heard less and less about her.

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter started around age three, and is six now, and come to think of it, I haven't heard anything about them now at least since she started kindergarten this year! So about two years or so. And everyone told me the smartest kids have imaginary friends, so don't worry! It's about learning to belong and have friendships, since not much of that is a concrete idea to them at this point. Have fun with it! Just be sure the "friends" don't misbehave in your house =)

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter's imaginary friend came to "be" when my daughter was almost 2 1/2 and left sometime after my daughter turned 4 -- after she started having drop-off playdates with friends. It has nothing to do with you and what you are providing -- it's a sign of a creative mind and wonderful imagination!

ETA: My daughter has had younger brother around since she was 14 months old...so it's not that she was lonely!

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S.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

Imaginary friends are associated with kids of higher intelligence! My daughter just tortures our cats making them eat the birthday cake!

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