I'm Beat!

I haven't any suggestions b/c I feel the same way. My husband works long shifts, also. I have 3 boys, 1 w/ special needs. There are days that I feel so overwhelmed. I have no ideas how working moms do it. I have all day to get things done & sometimes I don't know where to start. I feel like I'm struggling just to get the necessities done.

Just don't try and be "Super Woman" or "Super Mom" or a "Mary Poppins."

Do what you can. Don't do what you can't or don't want to do.
Give yourself breaks.
Take breaks.
Have someone come over and babysit so you can get out.

Nap when your child naps.

Well, as a single mom with 2 kids it is hard. A routine helps. Now do I stick to it....well I do try but I am flexible if something else comes up. My kids are now at an age where they can help. I take me time, gym time (it is important) it helps you renew yourself. Find other moms, and take care of their kids while they clean or play and they do the same for you...I work with Residents and Fellows and I do not know how they do it sometimes. Especially those that are moms. Something I did learn was do not sweat the small stuff, if the dusting doesn't get done every week so what. You have a clean kitchen instead.... vacuuming not get done on time...well there is always tomorrow... Now one friend swears by this.... Nothing on counters, it makes for a quick wipe down. Few knick knacks out makes it easier to dust. if you quickly wipe the shower or tub out after using it even the sink it makes cleaning day much easier. so relax if friends are coming over they are there for you not your immaculate house...So look for ways to make it easier on yourself.... take a nap when your child does. Go to bed early ior sleep late f you can on your husbands off days. Smile we are all there with you..... hope something here helps you.

Sounds like you need some much needed "ME" time. Is there a family member, friend or daycare that you can leave you child there/with for a few hours a week to give you a break. You are going to lose your mind without one. I like to clean during my me time. I know weird, but I just feel so much better when the house is clean.

I so feel this way.

I have so many tricks I can share, but I am pressed for time!

Some of my favs:

I only wash my hair every other day, and I do it at night. I have long hair that I curl, so this works for me. I wear velcro rollers to bed, and I wake up to hair that looks freshly done. The only time I spend is taking the rollers out and spraying some Paul Mitchell finishing spray on it.

I make time for makeup, but that only takes 10 min

Lay out clothes the night before (all clothes, yours, kids, etc)

I cook like a crazy person on Sundays so there are leftovers for a few days during the week.

Plan your meals weekly. It really does help.

We have three kids, so I broke down and hired a cleaning lady. I just couldn't keep up and it wasn't worth the stress of fighting over who was going to clean what. Best money I have ever spent.

Make time for you - and try to work out during this me time if you can. Exercise is so good for the mind, body and soul.

well, I have an inhome daycare, have thyroid issues which means 1-2 x/year I'm totally exhausted until my meds are adjusted, & for the past 3 weeks have been completely wiped out!

After pursuing this with my dr (thank goodness for patient/self advocacy & my own brand of persistence/bullheadedness), the last round of bloodwork shows that I have Epstein-Barr Virus......meaning Mono. I'm 48 & I have mono.....no wonder I'm soooo tired & running a fever most nights & have tonsils meeting my uvula! Now I know "why" I'm needing a nap every night at 5:30....after the daycare kids leave & before dinner! Peace....

once we made a routine for almost every minute of the day everything kind of fell into place.....dont get me wrong we have our crazy nothing gets 100% complete but your only human.....

I was not the "t-shirt girl and sneakers girl" either...then we had babies...twin baby boys....Suddenly I did not care what kind of "gurl" ;) I was but as long I as was comfy (knowing that whatever I was wearing was going to have runny nose/drool/food) I was/am good. I still wear a great shoe though ;) They are 3 1/2 by the way and I am a full time stay at home...just backround info ;)

Hang in there-it will get so much better. I promise. You are just in the middle of the really hard ages right now. Once kids can communicate with words and you don't have to worry about watching them every blessed second it becomes just so much easier. I can remember being where you are and being so exhausted too. It seems like another lifetime ago really but when you are in the thick of it you think it will never end.

some advice:
join a gym with childcare. your son is old enough now and it will give you an hour to yourself. My gym had a TV on each machine so I got to catch up on shows while I worked out!

See if you can find a young teen to be a mothers helper this summer. Someody to take your son for a walk or play outside for a good hour-hour and a half once or twice a week so you can get some things done. Then when your baby naps you will be able to take one as well.

Let go of your expectations on yourself. You can only do so much so don't beat yourself up if the house is not clean, laundry isn't done or a meal on the table. Just do your best remembering this is a snapshot in time. there will come a time where you will be able to do all you want to do in the house but now is not that time-its just too hard. And honestly-I have huge regrets for stressing on that kind of thing when my kids were small. I feel it definitely took some of the fun and the magic out of what should have been and amazing time. I worry I didn't spend enough quality time with them becuase I was too frantic to get stuff 'done'. I would give anything in the world now to have some of that time back. My kids are 7 and 9 now and have all but stopped playing with toys. They retreat to the basement to play video games or sports now and there is not so much a place for playing with mom anymore. My house is pretty clean now for the most part but what I wouldn't give to have a floor full of Thomas trains and baby toys again. So I know it is so hard but just try to enjoy this time as much as you can. It really will go by fast. People always told me that and it would annoy me but now I know how right they were.

So far you have some great advice. Some ideas I had to throw into the mix. If you have a large block of time where you could go to the hospital or to a cafe around there, bring a playpen or the stroller and toys. You can bring a book or something for yourself and if your husband is able to catch a break you guys can say a quick hello. Sometimes it is those random attempts that can get you guys in those extra five minutes of family time. Or just pack him a lunch and bring it up. Maybe he will just see you guys for the two seconds as he takes it but it can help you guys get through those long periods of time he can't see you guys. Or send picture texts of the baby and updates on your world with the understanding he wont have time to respond. Set your schedules so you can have as much family time as possible.

For yourself to not go crazy, find mommy and me groups. Host playdates at your house (so you can throw that load of laundry in before they get there and take it out after they leave). Naps are perfect times to schedule chores so you can just enjoy them when they are awake. Gyms usually offer babysitting so you can get the hour by yourself. The YMCA has mommy and me classes too. Or the library has classes and kid events. If you are overwhelmed maybe get a cleaning lady to come in for a once over of the place. The casino's in the area (like Harrah's) have coupons for free nights at their hotels. If you google it you can often find them, but it is a way to get out of the house or to go somewhere that you don't have to worry about cleaning the next day. It would be a great way to get out of the house but still have a place for baby's routine. Planning ahead will help, break these tasks into small jobs that take a minute or two and throw those into your day. Like get a crockpot and throw everything in during breakfast so it is cooked at the end of the night. Or my laundry is about the 1 minute to put it in, one minute later to switch it, and then just the 10 minutes to put it away. It makes it feel less 'all day'. Get a babysitter once every couple of weeks for just two hours and go to the store, bring things home and put them away, and then cut up the produce into small easy to grab bags.