If You've Been Divorced...

I had a very simple gold wedding band from my last marriage.

About six months or so after I had left, and about a month or so after I'd filed papers, I went out to Forest Park here in Portland, sat and wrote a letter to my ex. Then, I rolled up the paper into a thin tube, tied it and the ring together with a ribbon, then tied it to a scrubby little plant up off the trail a ways.

I left them there. I've never gone back.

Depended on the rings. My wedding ring was a gold band, it was the first to go. :p Everything with diamonds I gave to my girls. Well one actually has them the other is in the safe.

I couldn't bring myself to sell them since I would never get what was paid for them. Since he is their dad the girls seem perfectly happy with them.

My ex stole mine!!!! But if I had it I would have made a beautiful pendant out of it. Never got the opportunity lol!!

Hey!!! It's SOOOO good to see you on here!!! You've been missed!!

I gave my engagement ring to my best friend. My daughter didn't want it. My best friend knows that if my daughter wants it - she can have it. My best friend wears it EVERY DAY!!!

Our wedding bands? I sold. Didn't need them and neither one of us wanted them anymore.

If you like them? Put them on your RIGHT HAND - at least the engagement ring or have them made into something else. I would hold on to them. Roman may want them - you NEVER KNOW!!! :)

I saved mine for a long time because I couldn't part with it for so much less then what we paid. Since I didn't have any children from that first marriage, it didn't seem right to give them to kids. I just kept it.

Eventually I saw a sign at a jeweler saying they would buy used jewelry. I took my ring in and they offered me $1000 for it, which was thousands less than what we paid, but hey, it was $1000 more than what I had in my pocket!

I sold it, took the $1000 and bought a computer.

I actually felt great, getting rid of that reminder of my first marriage failure! And a computer is much more useful than a piece of jewelry in my drawer! I don't regret selling it at all. :)

Good luck!

My ex engagement ring is REALLY nice...and big! It has a large center stone and 3 others on each side. I debated about making earrings out of it but then since my ex and I have 2 kids, I decided to keep it for them. One of them can have the large diamond and the other can either have my wedding band (solid gold, was my GREAT grandmas) or the setting and smaller stones...or they can sell them and use the money to buy their own.

I also had a large set of crystal from our marriage that I didnt want anymore. I asked the kids if they wanted a piece from it, saying it was from their dads and my wedding, and surprisingly they did! So I kept the vase and candy dish to give them when they are older.

I do have to say I am tempted to sell my ex engagement ring. I know I couldnt get what I paid for it but I still could get a couple thousand which would be nice. But I think I'm going to hang on to them at least until the kids are old enough to decide if they want them or not. Good luck!!!

My mom melted hers down and had earrings made for me. :)

I would agree - melt them down and/or have them made into something new and improved. :)

I never had an engagement ring.. but I do have a wedding ring with 5 small diamonds in the band.

I saved it and its collecting dust in my jewelery box. I figured even though our marriage didn't work out and I'm happily remarried.. that was a symbol of our love that my kids were created out of. So when my kids get older I will ask them what they want to do with it. If they want the diamonds to put into a different piece of jewelery or just get rid of it. What ever happens to it, will be left up to the kids to decide.

My mom gave me her set when she and my dad got divorced when I was 11.

I lost them in my bra while running track one day at gym. Never lived that down yet :(

I'd hold them for one of your daughters, it might be special to one of them.

I hate that I lost my mom's ring that my dad gave her, it is a burden on my heart, I wish I had it in my jewelry box.

I went to the jeweler where my ex bought the ring, they looked up the ticket/value and gave me a store credit for the current value of the white gold/diamond. Used that store credit to buy my NEW wedding and engagement ring. Out with the old, in with the new! (I may have done something different if I had children with my ex, but I didn't). I like the idea, if they're nice, of saving them for your daughters to wear or to give to your son. They still love their dad and it may be a nice family heirloom for you to keep for them.

We've missed you, R.!

added: Yep, InMy30's - I helped pay for my own engagement ring. Sure my boyfriend (now husband) could have bought it himself, but heck I didn't want the rings anymore. Too much ill will towards them. I had no children to give the rings to. I sure as heck didn't want to wear them. I wasn't about to give them to a friend. Pawning them would have given me a fraction of their value. Store credit was the best option I had. And I wasn't the "heck let's get diamonds for myself for no reason" type of gal. I'm frugal and watch my spending. We got the store credit for lets say $4000. New husband spent an extra couple thousand to get me a bigger and better ring than I had before. So I have a $6000 ring for only $2000. Yay! Not tacky in my book, but eh, to each their own.

If I were to ever get divorced I would keep my engagement ring and have it made into a different ring for my daughter...for a keepsake as a symbol of the love that made her!

I have a beautiful engagement ring that has a 1.50 ct round diamond as the center stone and then 4 small marquise diamonds and then 2 small pear shaped diamonds (which make up what looks like a butterfly on each side of the center stone) and 8 small round diamonds going down the sides of the band, so there are a LOT of stones to work with!! She could probably get a ring AND nice pair of earrings or a necklace out of it!

But I only have 1 daughter so that would be an easy decision...if I had more than 1 daughter I don't know what I would do? Maybe sell it and buy them each some earrings or something? I would try to do something for my kids with it though, that I know for sure.

~For the record, I would never do what another poster did and sell it to buy my *new* wedding and engagement rings...! That is just SO wrong (and tacky) in my book! But my husband paid for my rings all by himself with his own money, it wasn't joint money, ya know? Maybe the other poster helped buy her own rings that is why she was comfortable using the money from those to buy her new one? Who knows?

It will be disgusting to see what you are offered for the rings.
Unfortunately, jewelry markup is obscene, ranging from ###-###-####%.

You could give them away (I did that), pawn them for cash, have them made into something else, wear them or O. on your right hand, or tuck them away for a rainy day. Maybe your son would like them someday?

I've known some women to have them melted them down and make something else from them.

Hi, R.:

It must be very painful for you to look at those rings that symbolize
your broken dreams. Get a safety deposit box and put them away.
Time heals all wounds. In time, after you finish grieving, usually 3 years, take them out and decide what you want to do with them.

Good luck.
D.

I have my ex's band and it is almost completely cracked in half - how appropriate is that?!? If you have a child(ren) with him, please save it for them. I know one couple who divorced with 2 daughters. The mother melted down her ring and made pendants for both of them. I thought that was very nice.

My great great aunt had hers made into a cocktail ring, which I wear when I get all fancy.

Another option is to keep them and give them to your children when they are grown.

My ex took mine. Which is just fine. I don't want them.

OTOH, I have his band. I keep it in the jewelry box for now. If I need some extra cash someday, I'll sell it.

I would never give my son or daughter a ring from a failed relationship. But that's just me.

hi R.!!!!!
well, hang onto 'em for a while. it hasn't been very long. in 4 or 5 years you might find that wearing them on a different finger or hand, or having them reworked into something different will feel right.
i've got a solitaire engagement ring from an old boyfriend. it's very clearly an engagement ring, can't pass for anything else. i wear it on my right hand every now and then just because it looks good with the day's outfit. the sentimentality of it is long gone.
:) khairete
S.

My STBXH took mine (along with most of my jewelry, all our savings, the Jeep -only working car, though I had the sick kid and he works downtown on the busline and hassle taken the bus for 3 years, all 'his expensive musical gear -save 1 I stashed- and all our savings). AKA everything valuable.

Don't know what I would have done with them, otherwise... But probably sold them to help pay for bills he wasn't paying (who needs heat in winter?) or the guardian ad litem.

I kept mine in case my son might want it one day but they were not expensive or particularly nice jewelry.

I saved them (somewhere?) to give to our daughter some day.
Thanks for reminding me, its been almost 20 yrs, i should look for them.

I gave mine back to my ex. It was a power move for me that said take this ***t because I have moved on. I really wanted to pawn them for the money because Lord knows that I needed it but I was my step of really going forward without any help on his part.

Haven't read the other responses but would you want to give them to your children later in life? My friend wears her mother-in-laws rings from when her and her husbands father were married.

Saved my wedding band for my kids. I'd thought of having a jeweler slice and splice it into a divorce ring, but decided I probably still wouldn't want to wear it.

I have mine but I definatley never wear. It's put away in a drawer with other jewelry but in a special case. I was going to keep it for my nephew but now that I'm going to have my own child, I will give it to them.)

Have the stone(s) reset and melt the gold down and have something made you like. That's what my mom did then eventually passed it on to me.

I saved mine so my son could use them someday if he wanted to. He's 30 and still hasn't asked for them. they are tucked away in my jewelry box.

I still have mine and look at them every once in a while. I love those rings more than i did my ex. lol
He got them at Jareds. : )
I have mine in a box. I do have 2 girls and a son with him, but i feel they are cursed so i dont want my kids to have them then get divorced and blame it on the rings. I still haven't been able to decide what to do with them, but i think i will eventually sell them.

i've kept mine. if the markup wasnt so horrible, i;d sell but to get so little I'd J. rather keep it and give it to my daughter.

If you like them wear them=) J. not on your wedding finger, make them represent that you've overcome something instead of the thing/person you have overcome=) i'm tempted to wear mine

If you had children together, maybe you could save them and give them to your kids someday.

Save them R.. There was love and a beautiful child that came out of your marriage. Nothing can misrepresent that. :)

I think if you have children you should keep them. If you need to money at some future date you'll be glad you kept them for the purpose of a resource too.

You are not divorcing yet so they need to be held on to until the divorce is final in every way.

My sister took her's off and almost sold them when she went through the end of her first marriage. I can honestly tell you that her ex is the only man I have ever ever ever heard of asking for the wedding set back. He won them in the divorce. She had almost sold them and asked why in the world they would not be considered her property. They were part of the household belongings. Anything that would be on an insurance policy through the home owners or a personal insurance policy is considered to be joint ownership. According to my insurance person anyway.

He won the rings in the divorce and melted them down and made their daughter a pretty pendant. The stones were put in storage for use later.