Ideas on How to Get Daughter to Go to Sleep on Own

I nursed my daughter until she was 3 1/2, and she was hugely dependent on me for falling asleep until my husband assisted with establishng a new routine when we moved to a new home and she finally had a bedroom of her own, a year ago, at age 4 1/2. For me, having him establish new routine was critical. For us, it helped to explain to her that we're teaching her a new important skill she'll have for life. Basically, it goes like this: If she's got her teeth brushed, jammies on and in bed before 8, she can have a book read to her. Then, prayers and dad tucks her in, with light left on (she insisted on this), and in just a few minutes dad comes to check on her, gives her a kiss. He will keep coming every few minutes until she's asleep. She's free to get up to go to the bathroom if needed; we'll re-tuck her in if so. The frequent loving checks as she's dropping off to sleep give her a very secure feeling. We now take turns doing "the tucks" and alternate on the "checks" (her choice who goes first and frequency), first 2 checks by mom, then next 2 by dad, and so on. In the beginning she'd set up a schedule of "checks" up through 10 checks per parent. THat gave her a feeling of control. She's usually asleep by the 3rd check. Lately she asks us to set a timer for 1-2 minutes between checks (we usually add a minute to her request.) Some nights when she's restless it helps to give her foot or leg massages just before the tuck. Hope this helps!

I lay down with my daughter in her bed and read to her until she is sleepy. That way you won't wake her when you move her from the chair to the bedroom. I think the night waking will eventually go away as she becomes more comfortable sleeping in a bed. It may not necessarily be from not falling asleep on her own...

This is a tough issue. I went through the same thing when my daughter was 1 1/2. I used the Baby Whisperer books for reference. In a nutshell - I would use our regular routine of stories, I am very specific and say,"This is our last story and then we're turning off the light and then you have to go in your crib." Once she was in her crib on the first night I stood right next to her crib until she fell asleep - I did not respond to her in anyway or look at her. She could see I was right there so I wasn't abandoning her. The first night was the worst it took her 45 min just to lay down in her crib. I stood next to the crib the 2nd night also, she laid down in about 20 min. Then every 2nd or 3rd night I would back farther away from the crib toward the door. The last bit of me actually being out of her sight took a while. I stood out in the hallway and would shush her so she knew I was there when she couldn't see me. The whole process took about 2 weeks but it so worth it. Now I read to her and put her in her crib and walk out. She usually gets herself back to sleep at night unless she has a really bad dream. Good luck!

Hi,
Here's the routine I use with my soon to be 2 yr old son. First, I hung up those stars on his ceiling that glow in the dark so he gets a little light in the room and he has something to look at. At 9:00 or 9:30 my husband takes him upstairs and puts him in his toddler bed, gives him his blues clues dog, his little flashlight (only if he's crying) and he just lays down and shuts the door. He usually sleeps until about 8:30 the next morning. We've been doing this since he was 16 months old. He cried for about 20 minutes the first 3 nights, but now he rarely cries. Every once in awhile he will wake up in the middle of the night, but if I don't go in there he goes right back to sleep. As far as you husband goes....my husband has never woken up by my son crying:-) And my husband goes to work at 4:30 in the morning.
Just whatever you decide, just be consistant. That is the key.
good luck,
M.

I think it sounds like you have a pretty good routine down, just eliminate the rocking as she is relying on it too heavily. My son did the same thing but now that he goes to bed most nights before he is asleep he seems to prefer fallng asleep on his own. Most nights when he is getting drowsy he goes to the bedroom door and waits for me to pick him and put him to bed! Just try to stay to the same bedtime and naptime and she will soon learn to recognise these and not be upset, she will probably start enjoying it! I think that kids crave a little solitude and peace and quiet the same as adults do so if she has had a busy day with Mom she won't be too upset when it comes time for bed. With the nighttime wakings I normally just "shush" my son back to sleep without touching him; he knows I am near so he isn't scared, but I do recommend a source of light while she is adjusting so she isn't too scared. We leave the bedroom door open a little so just a bit of light shines in. Also, hubby can deal with a few nights of interrupted sleep (if he even hears her!) to get her used to sleeping alone and you will all benefit in the long run! Good Luck and God Bless,
Shane

Hi P.,
Sounds like you have a good routine right now. The only thing I would differently is instead of rocking her until she is asleep I would rock her for a certain amount of time and then put her to bed while she is drowsy but still awake. My first son loved to rock with Mommy and I started to use an egg timer to time our rocking. It worked great. I would set the timer for 5 minutes and when it went off he knew it was bedtime. You can adjust the time to whatever you want. My son also used to wake up crying when he was little. I would go in and rub his back for a little bit. Once he calmed down I would leave. It never took very long. I wouldn't get her out of bed anymore in the night. She probably wants rock and knows you will do it. Good luck.
Chris