Ideas for Birthday Parties for Kids - 1 and 3 That Are "Less Materialistic"

Allow gifts, for donating to one of the charities (Toys for Tots). It IS hard when all the other kids are getting gifts, but this will help teach "serving" without being too "pushy". Good luck

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Food: Subway, McDonalds, Coldstone Creamery, Dairy Queen

Activities: Mini golf, Movies, Bowling

We have done a book exchange as part of several birthday parties. We ask each child bring a wrapped book to the party, and as they are leaving (helps with jealosy) we give each of them one of the wrapped books instead of a goodie bag. We make sure to have a few extra on hand in case anyone forgets.

We went to a Scooby-Doo themed party recently where the birthday girl requested gifts to be given to the local animal shelter- old blankets, towels, and pillows, mostly. It was a huge hit!

I totally agree that when it comes to toys, less is more : ) One thing that it think would be easy is to have something like a "wishing well" for your girl or "treasure chest" for your boy at the party so friends can (in blank envelopes) drop in a few dollars that will go towards a membership to some place they love (zoo, museum, etc) or towards one special gift they really want. This way, no one knows how much anyone put it, no pressure on parents to give a specific amount & kids can enjoy their gift all year long. I'm sure whatever you decide, the kids, yours & those invited, will have a blast playing with their friends & having cake : ) ~ Good Luck!

Because we recently moved away from our families, my husband and I have been talking a lot about how to encourage love through avenues other than gift giving...we don't want our families to simply send gifts, we'd rather Skype with them regularly or something like that. A gift gets lost in the shuffle of a birthday party. For us, a birthday party is a celebration of a year, friendships, people, fun, etc.. The gifts are not, and, in our opinion, should not be the main attraction. We've devised this plan...

Often people ask what our daughter is interested in...she loves babies so we often suggest something to accessorize her babies rather than another baby; clothes, a stroller, etc.. She also loves books, so we will suggest things that she enjoys playing with. But also things that she will need, clothes for the next season, pajamas (which she seems to outgrow very quickly), shoes, seasonal items like chalk, bathing suits...you get the idea. Things she's going to need whether she gets them as a gift or not. But here's the kicker. We are no longer going to be opening presents at the party itself. We decided that when we do that it almost becomes a free for all, tear through the gifts as quickly as you can, throw them aside, and move onto the next. If we open them after all of the guests have gone we can monitor what she's getting out of the gifts a little bit better; "You must be a really good friend to Sally because she gave you new clothes to fit your favorite doll. Maybe the next time you play with her you can bring these with you." We felt this would give our daughter a better opportunity to equate the gift with the person and thus the generosity, rather than seeing a pile of gifts in the corner after the party and not remembering who they came from. It could be a slower process, a pace set by your child, and not all gifts have to be opened all at once.

I'm afraid this doesn't exactly answer your question. But we've found that people enjoy bringing gifts to a party, we do, too! It's a way to participate in the celebration. But, ultimately, you control how your child perceives this.

I have a great idea for you! We, too, like things uncluttered and are not materialistic. For me, the worst part about having (or going to, for that matter) a birthday party are the presents. My kids don't need a thing! I've tried the "no gifts, please", but that doesn't work. So, now we choose a charity and collect for that charity. Our charity of choice is the Ronald McDonald House. My middle son spent a lot of time at our local children's hospital when he was a baby and we would stay at the RMH. So, each year for birthdays (we just did this March 13th) we ask that guests bring toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning supplies, etc. for the RMH. It takes a lot of pressure off of your guests too!

Our stand-by answer to people if they ask what to get for our children is nothing!! They have more than enough and have needs for nothing. If people press, and since I know that they will bring a gift, even when I tell them not to (I admit, I am guilty of the same thing) I ask for jammies or clothes in the next size up. Our kids have so much, and we are constantly donating to shelters and Toys for Tots, but the clothes really do come in handy (especially jammies since we never seem to have enough of those)!

I LOVE Meredith's book exchange idea - will definitely use that in the future!

No offense but don't have parties then! If you are throwing a birthday party expect to receive a birthday gift for your child/children..To suggest a wsihing well or a registry or donate to X charity in lieu of gifts is completely rude. It is not appropriate to suggest or tell people how to spend their money. If someone asks you what little "Jane or Johnny" needs be truthful. Most people give gift cards or gifts with gift receipts. If you don't like what was given exchange the item or make a donation to Toys for Tots if it is a duplicate toy and your kids have enough already.

Invite fewer people. We don't give our kids stuff for things other than birthdays and the winter holidays, so it is nice, I think, for them to get some new toys to last them throughout the year. But I agree - no three year old needs a mountain of presents. If you only invite a few close family/friends, then there are only a few gifts, and you can actually spend time with everyone at the party. Win/Win!

Other than a book exchange, please don't suggest a list of toys or appropriate gifts. Obviously you would mean it well, but it just comes across as tacky and selfish. I think a book exchange is a little different, because you aren't specifying a specific thing, just a very broad category, and everyone can understand a parent wanting more books for their kids.

Hi - Why not skip the parties and just have cake with family? Parties for kids that age (especially the one-year-old) are more for the adults than the kids anyway; the kids don't understand or remember them. I like the book exchange idea, although I kind of agree that it's tacky to tell people what to bring (or not to bring something if they want to). Your intentions are good, but it comes off as telling people how to spend their own money.

How about a donation to the zoo (if your kids love the zoo), or some other good charity?

Or, have the party be a "desitination party"--where you have it at a playspace or water park or zoo or children's museum, and in lieu of a gift, you ask the parents to pay for the admission for this event.

Or, in lieu of gifts, let them know that the kids will be making t-shirts (simply stuff, like stamping or coloring t-shirts from JoAnn's), and so to please chip in $5 for that, so all the kids will have a keepsake from the party. (Oriental Trading Co has lots of craft projects for various ages, too).

Some people just really like to give gifts, so you'll probably always get that. I personally wish more parents felt that way you do, because there is just too much emphasis on "stuff."

We always as for 1 book from guests. I figure that no one is going to show up empty handed to a kid's birthday so the "no gift" thing is pointless. You can never have too many books! It has always worked out great.

I wouldn't do a "party". At age 1& 3 the children don't need a big party. Invite only your immediate family (grandparents & your siblings) for cake and ice cream. As family I'm sure they are aware of how you are raising your children and if they choose to bring a gift it would not be a lot. My husband and I have done this with all our children and it works great. The kids love hanging out with their cousins so it makes for a fun evening. We usually do it around 7:00p and I make sure to specifically say it is cake and ice cream only

I have found in my own experience that smaller children do not really care about the birthday presents. I have 2 young boys, ages 5 and 7 now, and when they were little they were just excited to have their friends come play and sing happy birthday to them. We always had a party for them to celebrate their special day but instead of doing presents, we asked for a donation instead. One year we asked for books to be donated to a school library and one year we asked for everyone to bring in a new pair of shoes (the size their child would wear) to donate to a local center that helps the poor. When kids are under 3 they really do seem happy with just friends and cake and balloons. However, whenever we had a party where their was a donation - we always made sure that we got the child a gift, the sibling got the child a gift and grandparents gave the child a gift. That way, they were getting some gifts to enjoy too.
Now that my kids are older, the donation route isn't very popular and they want their presents. I do not deny them the presents now b/c they give gifts to others and it is their day to receive. So, maybe you could ask your 3 year old if there is something special she would like to do to help someone else and get them involved in the giving process. Your 1 year old may not be too concerned about presents and just happy to tear into the cake :) I think it is great that you raising your children to be unmaterialistic in todays world. Happy early birthday to your little ones :)

We give books. Always. I can't think of a time when my child was invited to a birthday party and we weren't all excited to find a book for that child. As my son has gotten older (7 1/2), we have started getting his friends a $10 gift card to Target. Kids love it, and they can learn about money and spending, or saving!

As for your party, why don't you try a book theme. I don't know exactly how this could work, but if kids insist on bringing presents, why not request sharing their favorite book. And if you are into the party favor thing, you could give books, too!

Scholastic usually has good deals on books. I have seen where good ones are only a $1. Or, to be totally honest, the thrift stores have great books!

Good Luck!

Hi! Great question! We guage the presents/donations based on her needs for updated toys and the number of children at the party. WE have some years where she has intimate "close friends" party and others that the venue charges a flat rate for up to X number of kids. When we have had the larger parties we request donations for a cause. I have allowed my daughter to pick the charity the past two times and I picked the first one because she was 3 and too young. The year she was two I took her to Wal Mart kids area and Toys R Us and asked her what she would like for her birthday if she could have anything. She wondered up and down aisles and couldn't decide! It was then that I decided that the last thing we needed was more stuff she didn't really want OR need!

I try to make sure the charity she picks will not lead to toys she may want, so for example when she was 3, we donated to a food pantry and requested baby items...food, formula, diapers, etc. Also checks were accepted and were tax deductible. I did a write up for the local paper and we posted a picture of her delivering her "gifts"...all 125 lbs worth!

When she was 5, she choose to collect dog items for the rescue group that we fostered and had adopted our two dogs from. We collected leashes, collars, treats, food, toys and dishes. Also the option of a tax deductible checks were accepted.

When she was 9, she choose to collect money for the Red Cross to help the earthquake victims in Haiti (She approached me about it!)

Good luck with whatever you choose...troops overseas, local VA, Nursing Home/Senior housing, foster kids (always need large bags for moving instead of moving all their worldly possessions in trash bags!), stuffed animals for fire rescue/police/ambulances to give to children who have suffered a trauma and are scared, Red Cross, local church, local food panrty, local charity that is close to your families heart, soup kitchen, homeless shelter, etc, etc, etc!

You could ask for gifts that are consumable:

Ingredients to make "stone soup" for the party. Read the story and make it the theme of the party.

Cake decorating items and frosting. Set up tables for the kids to decorate their own cookies or cupcakes.

Art supplies, and have all the guests decorate a poster or banner when they arrive.

Toys, food, treats for the local animal shelter.

Multilples of small toys, stickers, or treats. Place in a "chest" and hide for a treasure hunt. Divvy up the treasure for the kids to take home.

Bring your own gift: parents buy a $5 gift for their own child. Every child gets to open his/her own gift at the party.

We feel the same way about cluttering my daughter's life with too much "stuff". For her birthday parties, especially when she was younger, we did a book exchange. All the kids bring a new, wrapped, age appropriate book to the party with their name on it. At the end of the party, you hand out the books to each child, making sure they don't get their own back, and each kid gets a present! They LOVE this... and it is WAY better than those "goodie" bags full of candy and irritating little toys. Any time we have done this, the kids are so excited and the party ends with each kid and their mom reading together in a corner of my house.

although I love the presents my kids get, if I wanted to limit them, I would pick a charity. Have everyone bring items to put in a care package to the troops, or bring an old jacket to donate to a coat drive, bring toys, but have a memeber of toys for tots come to the party and present majority of gifts to the organization. Whatever you decide, make your intenetions clear on the invitation.