I Want to Move My 20 Month Old Daughter to Her Own Bed in Her Own Room !!

Hi N.,

I am not going through this now, however my son slept with us until we felt it was time for him to sleep in his own bed. I read or heard somewhere that a fish tank was a good way to get kids use to sleeping in thier own room. So, I bought a fish tank and put a few fish in the tank. Something about the water soothes them and helps them sleep well (keeps them from waking up in the middle of the night). Once my son started sleeping in his own bed, with the fish tank in his room, he has never slept with my husband and I since. Every once in a while, he ask if he can get in our bed and we let him, but only for a short while. Anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours to watch a movie. This way, we can provide whatever security and/or comfort he needs from us at the time and maintain boundaries by putting a limit on it.

My son is 15 now and still has a fish tank in his room. We now use it to teach him how to take care of something other than himself by keeping them feed and the tank clean.

Good luck!

We used a great sleep technique for my son who is 2 1/2. We moved him into his big boy bed a few months ago and did the same thing as you. We let him pick out his sheets and decorated his room all up! This is what I do when he gets out of his room. the first time he comes out I pick him back up bring him back into his room and nicely tell him, it is time to go to bed, I love you. the second time he gets out, I pick him up and sternly say it is bed time! and put him back into his bed. from there on every time he gets out I do not say a word, I pick him back up and put him back into bed. We did this for two days in a row and each day had to put him back into bed 4-6 times. He finally got the idea and not he never comes out of bed anymore until the morning time. If he does get out in the middle of the night, I just pick him back up say nothing give him a kiss on the head and put him back. He may cry a little sometimes, but he goes back to sleep. The key with this tecnique is persistence!! It may take a few days of doing this or a week. But depending on each child they will finally figure it out and stay in bed!! Like I said though, you HAVE TO BE PERSISTENT!! Otherwise you are just waisting your time trying this way!! Trust me it works!!! I am in a mom's group and almost all of the mommies have done this and swear by it! hope this helps you all sleep a bit better!

You've already had several great suggestions. With one child, we put her on a mattress on the floor in her room and put a baby gate on the door, so there was no wandering to our room. Later we put a toddler bed, but kept the baby gate until it was no longer needed. With the second, we put a large baby pen around the crib mattress on the floor. It's large enough that I laid down next to the crib mattress at first, then moved outside next to the pen, then sat about four feet from the pen and next step will be to put them in and leave the room.

The other suggestion would be to find a blanket or stuffed animal that provides comfort that could be with her only when she sleeps. When the blanket/stuffed animal is given and she's put in her bed, it's time to sleep and in the morning, it's put away until the next bedtime/nap. It has to be something that is toddler safe - no small parts that could be pulled off and become chocking hazards, not too plush that they could sleep with their face on it, but something to provide comfort when you are not there.

Good luck.

Hi,

Have you tried a toddler bed? Maybe tell her it is a big girl bed and maybe have pick out a new stuffed animal who would be special to help her sleep at night. Maybe the stuffed animal would be her sleep buddy. We semi co-slept with our little one and we have transitioned her to a toddler bed. She wakes up still but I rock her to sleep and put her back into her own bed. Good Luck!

C.

Hi N.,
I am a mom of two gorgeous girls, one 4yr old and one 1yr old. So my oldest from day one has just needed to be next to mommy and daddy, it's just how she was, the second one has never wanted to sleep next to me, so really it could just be a personality thing. However, the biggest thing right now it sounds like is all the changes in her life and she sounds like she just needs that security. Your best option, and it is rough getting used to, is to keep laying down with her in her bed, we laid down with our daughter for like 1/2 hour each night until she got used to her bed. For a long while she would even sneak in with us. However, now she sleeps in her big girl bed all night. I just looked at it like, well she wont want to be with me like this forever, one day she will grow up and never cuddle with me again, so I accepted it and loved our cuddle time while it lasted. Good luck.

This is just my opinion, but she is so young to sleep in a bed!! She needs to be "re-trained" to sleep on her own, whether you choose the bed or the crib. If it was me, I'd go back to the crib (in her own room) and use the Ferber method. I used the methods in this book for both of my sons, and it works wonderfully. He walks you through it step by step and covers every single conceivable possibility of problems or difficulty you will encounter and what you should do about it. You can get this book from your local bookstore or order from Amazon.com. Here's a link:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified...

Good luck!!

Both of my daughters went to big girl beds early and started to develop a habit of coming into our room several times during the night. We kept a kiddie gate outside their door and if they came out more than once during the night, the gate went up. After the first time out of their room, we would remind them that the gate would go up next time. It didn't take long before they were not coming out because they wanted the control of no gate. It even worked at Grandma's house when visiting (we didn't have a gate, but they didn't know that). Good luck!

Own bed and own room are two major changes in her life. Take them in baby steps.

20 months is still young to be out of a crib. My son climbed out of his bed around that age and I switched him to a big boy bed and it was a giant mistake for him. Once he was back in his crib, he was sleeping better. About a year later he asked for a big boy bed. We gave it to him and still on occasion when life is stressful he asks for his crib. It's his 'safety' as is your bed for your daughter. I would suggest tackling a crib again and leave the crib in your room near by your bed so she can hear your shhhhing and voice in uncertain times. And once she's good with the crib again, maybe then work on moving her out of your room.

You have had some MAJOR adjustments in her life. New country, hotels, new home, new room, new bed, new routine, etc It's overwhelming for her. She needs the securities she can count on right now. Maybe it's not what you want to hear, but giving her that security for a while longer would help her feel safer in her new envoirnment. Too many changes at once is VERY difficult on small children. She needs what she can count on right now.

read "Good Night Sleep tight" this book has help me a lot...it gives ways in which you could move your kids to there room...but I think Lindsey H is right there have been a lot of changes you should take baby steps..Good Luck and God bless!

Hi N.: Welcome to the U S of A! I think you should be very patient and kind with her because it may be that she is still a bit insecure about being alone in her room. Read stories in her room until she falls asleep and then if she wakes up in the night, just take her back (every time) and stay until she falls asleep again. It will probably take a while, and a lot of repetition but she will be better adjusted if you go to the trouble and take the time to make sure she feels safe and comfortable. But you must take her back to her room every time so that she learns that this is how it is going to be.

Hi N.,
I have a 3 1/2 year old boy that still sleeps in our bed. When he was a baby he use to sleep in his own room in his crib he was about 9 months old and got croup and we put him in our bed because we wanted to listen to him breath. (At birth he was taken to NICU because of his breathing.)So we were concerned for him. When we tried to put him back in his own room we had a problem, he did not want to stay in there. After a while he did. The next year the same thing happened and he was back in our bed. This time we had no luck getting him back into his bed. We even put a full size bed in his room and let him decorate it with the Disney cars theme. He did the same thing your daughter did. Waking up and going from his room to ours all night. After months of him just staying in our bed I have finally put a sleeping bag on the floor next to my bed and he sleeps there. This is working. Sometimes he will go to my 10 year old daughters room and sleep with her.My friend even put a crib matters on her floor because of the same problem. You just have to be firm with her( thats been working for me) Let her cry and through a fit. Also have you put a night light in her room? Reward her. Somone also told we to leave pennies at the bedroom door and everytime they come out of the room you take a penny away. What is left in the morning is theres. Just remember to be firm or it will get worse. Trust me. Good luck to you. Welcome to the US.

About me I am 35 years old and a mother of three. A 14 year old girl, a 10 year old girl and a 3 1/2 year old boy.I am a stay at home mom.

Hi N.!

We had a similar situation - we moved several times waiting for our house to be ready when our little girl was around 12months. She became very accustomed to sleeping with us. She co-slept with us as an infant so She never spent much time in a crib. so we put a twin bed next to our bed and let her sleep there for a while and then moved it into her bedroom. She also had a toddler bed in our room for a while until she transitioned into her twin bed in her own room. We just talked about it with her a lot and eventually put her in there. She also would come to our room in the middle of the night. I explained that she would need to wait until morning to come to our room - and she agreed. I would remind her of this before she went to bed. If she came earlier- just puther back to bed and remind her about waiting until the morning - with out any emotional response -in a matter of fact way.

I agree with the others about all of you needing time for these major transitions & to enjoy the cuddling now!

Good luck!

G.