Where I live, my livingroom is ground level, and looks out onto a little playground & pool. One of the people who live in the complex, had a 7 year old girl, pushing her on the swings, for a good part of the afternoon (over spring break) The little girl was having a great time by the looks of it, and I thought, how nice, looks like a single Dad, dedicated to his daughter. Well, when my little one was down for a nap, I sat out on the balcony reading (as I usually do) and got to overhear much of their converstaion. It was a pretty weird conversation, IMO, to have with a little kid. First there was talk about someone touching the girls privates, where his advice was to kick whoever "where it hurts" and run.. (it sounded like the kid was disclosing something) Then there was this lengthy conversation about fat people, with him making comments like "oh, she's so fat, she makes an earthquake with every step she takes", she's so fat, she cant get out of the house to get to the food bank", stuff along those lines, and loud. I looked up several times, kind of shocked at how this guy was coaching the kid to keep up the negative banter & finally said something. I told him how great I thought it was that he was spending time with her, but why the negative talk? He whipped the girl off the swings, tried to get her to tell me how smart she was (she was shy and didnt do that) I felt very bad for opening my big mouth. Then he went to a neighbors balcony a couple doors down and started talking about how he would like to kick my door down and torch my apartment. WHOA!!! The mother of the child came by a while later, asking me why Im picking on her boyfriend & I tried to explain that I thought it was pretty harsh to talk like that to a little girl, when so many teens end up with negative self image etc etc. Her response was "well Im fat"... um ok.. I just said ok, if thats your opinion, we'll just leave it at that & closed the door.
I dont think I would dare intervene in the future with any parent, but I'm wondering if anyone else would of been inclined to say something?
Ugh. Another example of a NON-choosy mom as far as a male role model for her kid(s). She too, sounds like a real winner.
I probably would have said something like you did.
You just can't help people like that...
If he/she ever approaches you again & threatens you, I would say to be safe...report it.
I'd ignore it, but be wary. Any jerk who says he's going to torch your place needs to be watched. If you overheard him saying he would kick your door in (rather than being told about it by someone else), you could consider reporting it to the police so it's on record that he threatened you.
Maybe he's harmless and just incredibly rude and insensitive. What goes around comes around, and pretty soon that little girl is going to repeat those phrases in public or in school, and that mom is going to get a call from the teacher or principal. Or she's going to say it directly to her mother, and get a whole eye-opening experience.
Eh, I'd say move on from it. You didn't do anything wrong, and they clearly overreacted. Unless they give you problems (I hope they don't!!), I wouldn't worry about it. I can see how you wouldn't want your neighbors to be mad, but it was not appropriate talk for a little girl. I think you did the right thing.
hmmm, never talk to them again, scary but nothing that can really be done. Hopefully the girl can overcome the stupidity of her parents.
I probably would have, too.
Hopefully he's not as crazy as he sounds.
Wow, that is so strange. When I was first reading this, I also thought, how nice of a dad to spend time with his child, and to make sure they know not to go with strangers and what to do. Then that changed as I finished reading. What a jerk! And a bad influence on that child. She is going to grow up with such skewed ideas of things. Thats not healthy. I would have gone over and said something too. Probably just as you did. I think you handled it very tactfully, and nicely. You were only trying to help. So weird how they reacted. Probably cause they were embarrassed and he didnt want his girlfriend to think he was being inapropriate so he pretty much blamed it on you. What her comment of "I'm fat" is I have no idea. I am learning so much more lately that people are so strange, and getting stranger. You just have to take everything with a grain of salt, and move on.
Sorry, but you did over step your bounds here. Yes, he was being a big dope, but still, it's his kid and he wasn't harming her (physically anyways) in saying the dopey things he said. Hopefully she will have good people in her life and will not exactly take after mom and dad when she grows up. Sometimes it's pretty hard to bite your lip, but it's neccessary. Just say extra prayers for the little girl and her parents too!
I agree with SM.
based on what you told us, I would not have said anything because I thinkhe was playing around.
I think you overstepped too. Re: the fat jokes - he may be socially inappropriate, but it didn't sound like anything other than trying to get the child to laugh. Re: the "private parts" conversation - when I go to the playground, I take the opportunity occasionally to remind my daughters "what would you do if someone..." and the answer is something like, "scratch theri eyes " or "bite them." If you heard that you might have thought me inappropriate too, but I would strongly disagree with you.
Look, I am pretty uptight, and I don't like your description at all. But not sure it is bad parentling. The worst part is what was said to you / about you afterward. But they were pretty ticked off, and I might have been too. I doubt it was a real threat, just childish.
seems to like you have better to do then worry about how other people raise their children. I would have said something to you as well if you poked your nose over the fence questioning me or anyone else for that matter about something YOU didn't like. That;s what happens when you mind other peoples business!
