I Think There Is Something Terribly Wrong with My Almost Six Yearr Old

Have you tried doing your own version of "play therapy" with him? I read a book calling "raising a secure child" that talked about doing this. Basically, set aside about an hour of time to play with your son -- just the two of you, make sure you have someone else to take care of your daughter. Have playthings that he can use to act out how he feels like a house with people (or a castle or fort or whatever if that's what he has), building blocks, etc -- open ended toys. Let him lead the playing and just comment without judegment on whatever he does such as "That guy is hitting the other guy." Avoid questions. The only rules are that if he hurts you or if he damages the room the play time is over. After 45 min to an hour it's over. The purpose is to give him a safe place to work out his feelings. Eventually you will be acting as a coach to help him get things out and learn how to use words to work through things or even to understand what he feels. You can look up "play therapy" online to get ideas, too. I'm just telling you what I remember.

I actually did this with my son after my daughter was born. He was 2 and got really aggressive with her and with me. So, I started doing this form of play with him every day during her afternoon naps. It really helped our relationship.

That's all I could think of (other than professional help), Good luck to you.

A.,

It's tough being a parent, and some kids are more difficult than others that is for sure. The other mamas are right when they say step back, take a deep breath and take time for yourself so you can strengthen your resolve.

You mentioned his behavior has been going on for a couple of years and that you have a two-yr-old. Just a wild guess, but this could be jealousy / sibling rivalry??? A lot times Moms bear the brunt of violent outbursts from their kids because we are their 'safe place'. He is angry about something, don't stop being his safe place - he needs you. Get out one of his baby pictures and pray for him while you look at it.

You know something is not right - follow your gut. I would take him to see another doctor, a child psych if possible and see where that leads. Where is his Daddy in all this? Boys must have a strong father figure (if daddy is absent physically or emotionally, try to get him with a male relative or close friend you trust for bonding) Is he involved in any physical activities? Martial arts are great for boys like this - they truly learn self-control if properly taught.

Don't just turn your back because he's acting like a little jerk and he's hard to be around (and I have SO been there). Guess what - little jerks grow up to be teenage jerks who are bigger and stronger than you are (believe me I've got one sitting in my kitchen right now eating the refrigerator) and then become grown up jerks who are bigger and stronger than the women they date and marry.

It's up to you to nip this in the bud - keep reaching out for help until something changes, you can do it mama!

hugs,

W.

It is a dark little secret that every parent has---sometimes we don't like our kids very well. Doesn't mean we don't love them...but it can be very hard to enjoy being with someone who acts like a tyrant.

It's difficult to tell if your son is normal but a bit over the top or if there is an underlying anger issue. Personally, I'd wait a few weeks or a month and see if school affects his behavior. If you have a school social worker talk to him or her. (I'm assuming he'll be in kindergarten). That person should be able to guide you if additional services are needed.

Good luck....remember you are a good mom...it's the mom's who ignore their children's behavior issues who are the failures!!!

I know it's really hard as a mom to step back and take a deep breath, but you need to calm yourself down before you can deal with any issues your son may have.

Your child is angry and is acting out. How about looking for a child psychologist for a behavior evaluation?
You are not a failure. You're doing your best, but sound like you're at some breaking point. Please step away and have a mommy time out when you feel your emotions getting the best of you.

(((HUGS))))