My 6 year old son is having some serious problems with his behavior. He is ADHD, ODD, and possible bi-polar. He keeps me up so late so that by the timr he falls asleep and I get settled down enough to get myself asleep I'm lucky that I get about 3 hours sleep a night. I am able to get up and make him breakfst and maybe even play some games or that with him. Around 2 hours or so I can no longer keep my eyes open and have to lay down for a bit, I tell him that if he is good that when I get up we will play some more and then i will make him lunch and we can play a bit more, however as soon as I lay down he is into everything, destroyies everything around the house steals all kinds of stuff that he isn't allowed into but he keeps it up no matter what I do.
I have told both his psych doc and have told our therapist but niether of them seem to have any thoughts for us or try and change his meds around. Is there anyone here that can help me so that I can help him before I end up pulling all my hair out ??
Thanks to all that responded. I really appreciate the help and suggestions. I had already tried all the suggestions that had been brought up, but none of them had worked so I will just keep trying to find the answers that I need through other ways and or resources.
Could his behavior be worsened by his diet? I have 2 children with ADD/ODD and I noticed that my son was effected by sugar, he seems to have grown out of it, and my daughter is effected by red food dye dramatically! Red food dye is is all sorts of stuff including medicines! I understand, and I believe, diet is huge.
Dear K.,
I have a daughter with ADHD and her sleep was very much disturbed, too. This is normal for ADHD. The only thing that helped was auditory therapy and a 'sensory' diet. This is not food, but giving your child the sensory input she is craving at timed intervals throughout the day. ABA Therapy also helped.
Talk to an Occupational Therapist about Sensory Integration. I go to Marla Shyken OTR/L in Ballwin. Her number is ###-###-####. She will evaluate your child and help you come up with a sensory diet that will teach your son how to cope with his environment. The 'destruction' is his need to get more stimulation. It really isn't against you....my daughter used to do it, too. I use auditory therapy twice a day to help her stay more focused and balanced. Her sleep now is practically perfect...she used to jump for 2 hours on her bed and then wake up every two hours during the night,so I feel your pain!
The drugs can cause a lot of issues and cause permanent side effects in children. Most have not been tested in children and there was a very good PBS Special done on how ADHD kids are being wrongly diagnosed with bipolar. It was called "The Medicated Child" and it just was incredible. Watch this special and make your own decision, but you may have to stop them to get an accurate evaluation. This way you know what is really your child and what is just side effects. You must work with a neurologist to do this. Dr. Denis Altman at St. John's and Dr. Montovani are very good. ###-###-####.
Read the "Out of Sync Child" book. Go to a Neurologist to get diagnoses and support. Go to an OT and get a 'Sensory Profile' done. The neurologist can write a prescription so maybe your insurance will cover it. Once your child gets a sensory diet and can be more calm and focused then behavior modification (rewards and behavior charts) will totally work. An Applied Behavioral Analysis or ABA Therapy can also help your child develop social skills and awareness. ADHD kids can have a hard time with this just like autistic kids. They don't often get cause and effect without lots of practice.
I hope some of this helps you. My daughter does not require any drugs because of this auditory/sensory therapy I have started. I hope it works for you, too and your son. No promises, but it is a worth a try.
My son has similar disabilities and what helped us deal with his behavior was to create a very structured routine and not deviate much from it. Make a time, such as 8:30PM that he must go to bed. Read him a story and kiss him goodnight and leave the room. If he gets up then you place him back in bed and leave again. If he cries, you let him cry unless it goes on too long then from the bedroom door remind him its bedtime and he must go to sleep and then leave again. This might take a few nights but eventually he will get used to it. We also make sure his ADHD medication is given to him early in the morning, such as 7AM so that he will be both hungry for dinner and tired at bedtime. Try to schedule some activities after school such as the park or karate to help burn some energy. My son's karate class teaches him discipline and morals along with karate. I live the in the St. Louis area and have had to try different meds and behavioral therapists until I felt things were better. If he is not in kindergarten then get him into daycare which will help you take a break during the day so you are fully recharged for him in the evening.
It sounds to me like maybe you just need some help. I am also a single mom. Don't try to be superwoman, ask for help, any family or friends in the area? Have you looked into any type of caregiver options? I realize that your child has special needs so maybe United Way or Youth in Need could direct you to some resources. Good Luck, and don't forget to take care of YOU also!
I would HIGHLY recommend to anyone w/ health issues to consider nutritional food sold thru direct sales(individual reps) called Reliv!! My husband got us involved 1 yr ago. We have met so many families w/ young children who have gotten amazing results, by simply giving the body the best nutrition available to humans!! I can introduce you to moms who have gotten great results & got their & their childrens health back!! Let's talk absolutely no pressure what so ever. D. ###-###-####
Hello - Have you considered any outside activities for your son? Something that could tire him out and help enforce discipline? I currently take Tae Kwon Do and it is incredible for kids. Where I train they are great with kids and have taught kids with ADHD and other behavioral issues. I train at Lyndell Institute at 94 and Central School Road - right next to the Bedroom Store. Your son might really enjoy this and you might get some sleep:)
K.,
I would seriously consider changing doctors. Your situation may need to have someone do a home visitation to see what in his environment might be impacting his behavior. Food issues are always a potential culprit in the hyperness of kids. Also, what is the nature of your disability? You need to make sure you are trying to be as healthy as you can be. Raising kids takes an immense amount of mental andphysical energy. By far the hardest job I have ever had. I hope you can get some help soon. You cannont carry on like you are.
D.
Parent of 17, 14 year old boys who were easy, and a 9 year old girl who is a bit more challenging.
K.,
Sounds like you need something that will help him sleep so that you can get some rest. I would check with the doctors for a different combination of medicine. In the mean time try to find things for him to do that interest him and keep items of value and danger out of his reach. Lock things up if you must. Asking him to be good may not be within his abilities as he sounds bored. If you must, pay a sitter while you are home and get some rest that way. See about getting him some respite care so that you can rest, if you can. I wish I could speak from experience,but I have not had experience with all of these areas. My son has PDD NOS and in time I have been able to take him off medication and he is able to work part time with a job coach and training. Hang in there.
J. M
I agree with the mom who suggested looking at diet. There's a lot of info out there on food triggers and behavior. Dairy and wheat are the most common offenders. We've been avoiding dairy, soy, wheat, eggs, beef...for my daughter for physical problems they caused, and we were limiting her corn (which is in EVERYTHING, almost literally), but we have just cut corn back further and noticed a dramatic change for the better in her behavior--fewer tantrums and generally happier...but we aren't dealing with all you have going on.. Good luck.
Sounds like it's time for some serious behavior modification therapy. Your therapist will know what this is and should be able to give you some exercises for your son. As a former school nurse who has dealt with many children with these diagnoses, I suspect that your son is taking advantage of your fatigue and possibly your disability.
Here's a suggestion for your nap time and I pray that it works. Maybe you could confine him to the room that you are sleeping in with a locked door that you keep the key to while you're sleeping. Give him an activity to do while you're asleep like a favorite movie, etc. You will have to make sure that there are not a lot of things accessible in this room for him to get into.
I am a firm disciplinarian and I was able to get good control of the children who had ADHD, ODD and who were bi-polar while they were in my office or with me. I gave them my expectations in a firm voice and had consequences if they didn't comply. Consistency is the key and I know as a single mom myself that this is not always easy when you're tired, but you must be consistent with your discipline and the consequences for undesired behavior. Ironically, the children enjoyed being with me and sought my attention. I believe it was all about the one-on-one attention anyway.
I'm not pretending to have all the answers, but I am definitely willing to help if I can. You can write to me at ____@____.com so we can chat if you would like.
God Bless!
I know the last thing you want to do is put more drugs into your child, but consider a supplement of melatonin (sp?). Call your pediatrician and ask how much he would need and just give it a try, it has worked well with 2 of my nephews one with ADHD/Autism and another with ADHD. Also, it may take a lot of energy at the onset on your part but try to develop a nightime routine. Although it may not feel like it, children crave structure and thrive on predictability. I say this from my experience as a former special-ed teacher,working in a therapeutic classroom (self-contained) setting, my elementary students were all diagnosed with mental health issues, mainly anxiety and bi-polar disorders along with ADHD. The biggest triggers to having a melt-down with these kids were when they didn't know what to expect SO it often manifested in destructive behaviors because at least they knew what to expect/predict as far as an outcome.
Furthermore, if you do not recieve services from the Regional Center, I would urge you to do so. A case-manager can set you up with an intensive in-home therapist to work with you and your son as well as providing respite care so that you can get a break.
I have copies of a simple behavior chart that i would be more than happy to dig out if you are interested and assist you in determining appropriate rewards/consequences. Lastly, at St Lukes, there is a nurse known as the sleep lady, who charges about $140 for a session if your insurance doesn't cover but I understand most do. She can work with you to create a sleep schedule and will follow-up for a couple of months via phone calls. I have many friends who have sworn by her. Nancy Birkenmeier, BSB,RN can be reached at ###-###-####. I can also send you a hand-out from her on teaching a child to sleep alone for ages 3-6 but I'm sure your situation needs more specific and taylored situations for this issue.
Hang in there! Let me know if you want a copy of the sleep plan and the behavior chart.
Dr. William Collins is a psychologist who helps children like your son with Neuro-biofeedback. His phone number is ###-###-####. He also works with parents.
Let me know if this helps.
S. R. in St. Louis
