I Need Advice on My Two Year Old's Speaking Habits

Y., toddlers are extremely sensitive... So they know everything :-O If you let him know with time out how important is for you that word, so you can try no hearing it anymore. Maybe if he sees that the word is meaningless for you, he can changes his mind.
Hope this helps
Mafe

At two, they are experimenting with cause and effect...He sees that when he says this, you react...and he is looking for the reaction....

so do the opposite...ignore it, pretend you didn't hear it. Most (not all) kids will see that the reaction is gone, and will stop....

Developmentally, two year olds do not understand "sit down time out"..(even tho i have been doing it since 18 months) So it may not be effecting him....

You can try to take a toy away each time he says it....but then again, this may lead to continuing just to see what you would do.

I would suggest ignoring it first....

In public...well-you can calmly say "We do not say that" and leave it at that...ignore it afterwards....other parents understand, and those without kids won't until they have them. To make yourself feel better, you can say to other people "I'm sorry- he is two and experimenting with what my reactions will be--we are trying the ignore method"

Hi, Y.. Well, remember that he's only 2, and what 2-year-olds want most out of life is attention. Even though he's getting negative attention for saying "shut up," it's still attention. You have to short-circuit this vicious cycle somehow.

Make sure that he's getting lots of attention for all the other words he says, lots of praise for how well he says everything else. Teach him some songs or even prayers, and keep him busy so that he won't need to shout out for attention as much. Also, when you do need to discipline him for saying the bad words, don't make a big deal of it. Don't show your frustration. "Oh, well, you said the naughty words again, so it's timeou for you."

Make sure YOU don't tell anyone else to shut up, either, and don't invite ppl into your house who talk that way, either. Boys his age are hungry for male role models, and if the older boys and men around him all say "shut up," then he's going to believe that's how boys talk, and he'll continue to defy you because he needs desperately to act like a male. That urge is much stronger at his age than his need to please you; during the terrible twos, kids have virtually NO need at all to please their parents. They need to feel smart and powerful; they need to act like their gender, male or female. That's probably what he's asserting right now.

And be patient; he's only 2. Just because he's got a bad habit at this age isn't a sign that he's a bad kid. He's just a little confused.

Peace,
Syl

The other poster's right. Ignoring it will probably work the best since he gets a great reaction out of you. Pretend he didn't say it. My daughter was doing something similar with "I don't love you anymore!" when I would tell her not to do something. At first I made a big deal about it, taking it personally and that made her more determined to say it. So, I mostly ignore it now. I respond, "Ok. Well, I still love you." Then I go on about my day. Without the attention, she quit saying it so much. I know it's embarrassing when they have a smart mouth in public. I've had to hear her declaring she doesn't love me being shouted through Petsmart.

I would encourage you and all around him to fully ignore his use of the phrase... it's not good or bad, it's just a phrase that you apply a meaning to which enables him to have a sense of power when using it. If he can say a phrase and get people upset then that gives him a feeling of power and control, which he wants to exercise. You may want to play a trick of sorts and have everyone react as if a certain polite phrase is a "bad" statement. Then watch how he'll keep repeating it. Let him know that shut up isn't bad now and the new phrase is instead. Then you'll see how your attempts to control his speech are fueling his exercising his power of speech in an oppositional manner natural for his age. He's just a toddler, you as an adult can learn to not get upset over words people speak.

IGNORE HIM!!! Because you are giving this serious attention, your son is getting a "kick" out of your behavior. Certainly, you should continue to tell your son that he is wrong and, perhaps, continue the time-outs. But, once you start to ignore his behavior, it will minimize the pleasure that you are currently receiving from your reaction. This may be hard for a while, but he WILL--eventually---SHUT UP!

Y.,

Dont feel bad i have a two year old daughter and we have three dogs so all day long i am yelling at them to shut up. Well finally she has caught on and started saying it also but to everyone, at first it was cute and then like you said out in public not so cute i did the time out thing as well and that worked for us, she doesnt say it anymore however i have a friend that has the same problem and time out didnt work she had to just keep correcting and saying "NO we say please be quiet" over and over" this was with time out. it is hard with the little ones cause once they get a word they run with it, hehe. keep it up i know the time out for us took a month or two before she stopped saying it and i would have to correct her speech. Also dont react around the word, the more you laugh or make something out of it sometimes the more the kids will hold on to it thinking they just discoveried something neat! i hope this helps! Good luck :)

A.

Y.,

As a mother to 3 boys, the other moms here are right. Ignore it, I know that it is hard. But the more you react to the situation the more he is going to do it. Ignoring him when he does it as if you don't hear him, he will eventually stop because he is no longer getting the attention you were giving him. Kids love to test the limits and that is what you have to remember at that age.

Good luck.

S.
36 y/o SAHM of 3 boys

14, 6 and 4

Yep, Ignore it and distract with some other conversation. Oh how I know that works. PS. There are no terrible 2s, just growing pains...smile!