I Need a Mothers Help

My younger daughter was very much the same way for almost the first year. She didn't want my mother, her father, either of my sisters or her father's mother either. She would scream and cry for everyone but me, my two other children and one of the daycare workers where she went.
Nothing but time and being around other people with me there eventually got her out of it. Now, she's my little go-getter who doesn't meet a stranger.

This sounds extreme. You said she passes out. Does that mean she loses consciousness or that she screams herself to sleep or.....? She whines while sleeping and wakes up screaming. How is this related to someone else holding her? Does she do this all of the time or just when someone else puts her to bed? Or are you suggesting that she wants you to hold her even when she's sleeping?

I don't have enough information to say this for sure but I suggest that you take her to the pediatrician and explain this behavior to him. It's possible that she has a medical condition that is causing this. The first one that comes to my mind is that she may have a sensory processing disorder. If this is the case, being held by someone other than you causes her nervous system to over react.

Has she always been this way and until recently you allowed her to dictate who held her? When she fussed you immediately took her back. That sort of thing. If that's the case she's learned that the more fuss she makes you will stop others from holding her.

Then I suggest that you do as LeAnne C. suggests. Start with short periods of time having her Dad hold her. Gradually increase the amount of time. Also, try using a blanket that both of you use when holding her as Jay G. suggests. I'd also try putting her in her crib with toys as MeganandOllie suggests so that you can get her used to be somewhere safe without you having to hold her.

Yesterday, a mom asked about getting her baby to hug and kiss is Dad. I suggest that you read that post and answers. Perhaps there is a reason that your baby won't allow her grandmother and Dad to hold her. Does she spend time with them so that she knows them? If not then I'd start with her getting to know them without them holding her. Are they harsh with her? If so, talk with them about how to be calm with her. Perhaps they should not discipline for awhile so that she can have a different sense of who they are.

Again, her reaction to other people, as you describe it, sounds extreme. I suggest that something is going on with her so that she doesn't feel secure unless you're touching her. Somehow you need to deal with her lack of security. I don't know how to suggest doing that because I do not know what life has been like for her. I strongly suggest that you get professional help.

i know it sounds mean, but she is just going to have to get over it! a little bit of crying isnt going to hurt her. just let other people (like her dad) hold her and let her cry for a little bit. just slowly start extending the time a little more and a little more. it happens. i know, it is hard, but you will get through it! i promise!

She might have something seriously wrong with her, like reflux or headaches and you're the only thing that comforts her. Have you had her checked to see if she has a sensory disorder?

whew! I can relate to your frustration and exhaustion! I went through this with my daughter too. My mother advised me to put her down and walk away when I felt like I could take no more. That was very hard to do, however, it did work. I would put her in her crib where I knew she was safe and comfortable and then would have to walk outside to get out of range of her screaming. I would only do this for about 5 minutes at first (even 5 minutes of peace can do wonders). I'm sure this will seem harsh to some people, but they haven't walked in these shoes of desperation. I can tell you Abby that the screaming stopped once my daughter became more mobile, which should be soon for your little one. I'll be praying for you.

My son was clinggy to, not as bad as your but close. I pretty much did what LeAnne said to. But instead i worked most on putting him in his crib and telling him I'll be back. I put toys in there for him and his lovey. A week later I could leave him there for 5 minutes at a time. Just slowly start at 30 sec and work your way up.

Is she like that if you are not in the room? My son was a major mama's boy and no one could hold him either. It was hard when family came because they all lived several hours away and wanted to hold him...he would do the same. But, if I wasn't around...he was fine. It was hard because the only way they could enjoy time with him was if I was outta site. He eventually outgrew it.

is she teething?

My friend had a baby that constantly cried/screamed. She took her girl to the Doctor. The Doctor looked her over real carefully... it was found, that a blond hair, almost invisible to the eye, was wrapped around her toe.. and the hair had to be cut off. It was getting wrapped so tightly around the baby's toe... causing pain.
After the hair was removed... her baby was a new baby! All happy!

The point is: it could be anything.
Does she have pain? Teething? Gas? Do you use Mylicon infant gas drops? Gas causes pain too. My daughter RARELY farted or burped as a baby... and she cried a lot. But the Mylicon helped a ton. For example.

A baby... when in pain or not feeling well... also will ONLY want their Mommy. Mommy is a baby's security and comfort. Anytime a baby is sick as well.. they really want Mommy.

I would, consider if anything is causing her to cry/scream... besides assuming it is her personality.
Or she could just be sensitive to stimuli... and YOU are what comforts her. The most.

all the best,
Susan

Try setting her down & having dad or someone play with her, let her get real comfortable with someone while playing, then step back a bit & don't participate. After a while she may grown to trust them & let them hold her. Otherwise I say hire a babyistter in your home or a play center & once or a couple times a week go out run errands or what not w/o her for a few hours. She'll cry the first few Min, but once you're our of sight she'll get over it & before you know it she'll have a blast & gain the trust of that person over time. It may take several times for her to stop crying at first, but I gurantee after a while you'l drop her off, or babysitter will come over & while you're still there she'll forget all about you! LoL She may like the babysitter more than play center because she'll get more 1 on 1 attention & if babysitter has 1 or 2 kids who like babys or who are close to her age she'll sill get the attention but she may feel more comfortable with a smaller crowd then a play center, but if you can, try both! She'll have fun & you'll get a mental break which you HAVE to have from time to time! :)

I there a chance you hold her a special/different way? She must love.
I didn't even notice it for a really long time, but I held my daughter with her arm under mine. Everyone else held her with it above. She hated it.
Just a thought.

i would first start with being able to get dad to hold her without her screaming then at least you would have help from someone else in the household. maybe if you both cradle her in a way where you are on one side and he is on the other side of her while she lays in both your arms in the middle. do that a few times a day, also maybe if you always try and use somekind of baby blanket or towel everytime you hold her and when daddy holds her let him use the same blanket or towel. your sent will help soothe her. i hope you can get thru this, hopefully just a faze.

talk to your pediatrician and ask for a referral for an occupational therapist. It is not normal and something is not right- you should not lose your mind- be proactive and ask for answers- good luck!

Maybe you need to get her checked by her pediatrician. Something could be wrong if she is crying like that and doesn't want anyone else to hold her.

It sounds like she's going through a period of attachment that is normal for babies, especially ones whose moms stay home with them and don't see their dads too much except at the end of the day. I know it's tiring, but it will pass if you give it time. Do continue exposing her to her father and other people as much as possible, and take her out to all kinds of places to help her have a variety of experience. If you give her the time, she should grow out of it.

Have you read The Baby Book by Dr Sears? I believe he has a website too, at askdrsears.com (if that doesn't work, try a Google search). Babies who have been in daycare may not have such a strong reaction to other people, but I daresay that can impact their future attachments with other people.

Personalities take time to develop, too. My first child would go to anyone as a baby, so much so that I was truly afraid that she might just be happy going home with anyone. Today, she is quite reserved. My second child would scream if another person touched him as a baby and I couldn't leave him anywhere happily until he was five, but today, at 13, he is the most outgoing person I've ever seen.

My DD1 was just like this - some kids are. Separation anxiety peaks at around 9 months (returns in toddler-hood sometimes), so hang in there. This will pass. In the meantime, have you considered baby-wearing? Using a carrier like Beco or Ergo that will help you carry her around while you do other things. This saved me with both my daughters. Also, I admit that my DD2 slept in a swing until she was about 9 months [hide]. Does yours like swings? Try everything - something will work - but take heart that it will pass soon. Good luck - BTDT and survived! BTW - my DD1 was the "difficult" one and she is now 5 years old and still high maintenance but perfect!!