I Need a Manual for My 3.5 y.o. Boy! Chapter: Cleaning One's Own POOP.

I am right there with you! Sigh. The only thing I can add is when he used the WHOLE roll to wipe and clogged the toilet.

Do the best you can. Someone once told me it takes 850 repetitions for them to "get it". I am about on repetition 476, so I have a ways to go.

Well, why can't you know when he poops? My 4 year old still requests wiping assistance quite frequently, and I'm fine with that. He usually does it all himself, but at 3, I always wiped him or his preschool teachers did. He's just not old enough to truly grasp how gross and possibly dangerous poop can be! I could tell a real difference in my 4 year old when he had been 4 for about 2 months -it's like a light bulb went on in his head and he really "got" not getting poop anywhere, washing hands after poop, etc. While he's three, I think you still need to be on wiping duty. Sorry!

This so made me laugh because I remember that time so clearly. Tell him he can do it himself but you need to check his work, lol. I taught my son to fold the toilet paper around his hand 3 times to make sure he was using enough and not too much. You can try putting a bell near the toilet and tell him he gets to ring it only after having a BM. He is going to want to ring that bell so bad. As far as hand washing, try a foaming colored soap, that can make it more fun. I also remember having flush-able wet wipes for him to use after the tp. If it's any consolation your not alone in this poopy battle and boy seem to be a little worse.

The Potty Board !!!

I did this with my daughter and it helped. We went in the bathroom with a digital camera, and took picture of each of the steps involved in going potty. (careful, I am not suggesting inappropriate pictures here).

We had a picture of her sitting on the toilet, with her dress over her lap.

a picutre of her with toilet paper wrapped on her hand -- after we talked about how much to use and what it should look like

We had a picture of her straightening her dress, which represented getting re-dressed.

We had a picture of her flushing; another of her washing her hads; another of her drying them; and lastly, turning out the light.

I arranged them in one document and printed them on an 8 be 10 piece of photo paper, so it was thick, and then made one for each bathroom in the house. She then knew what she needed to do, and the reminder was right in the bathroom. That was all she needed, but you could go the next step of having rewards and consequences when your son does or doesn't follow all the steps.

Lastly, if he is on a "'am big now" kick, you might want to try showing him how you use lists to remind you of what you need to do. Then he may see the Potty Board as being like your grown up list.

It might help. Best of luck!

I love the way you worded your frustration - very entertaining reading for this tired mom! I am on the opposite end of the spectrum, my almost 4 yr old son still tries to get us to wipe him and he will anounce to the entire house when he has completed his "job" - including size and shape. For him, we have found that bribes and praise work best. When we were poop training, he got a special treat everytime he went and when I had to clean up poopy pants then I got the treat. Perhaps you could work a deal with your son that when he wipes, flushes, and washes hands he gets a special treat or sticker. If you have to come in and clean up a yucky bathroom then you get the treat. Now that my son is poop trained we praise him when he does good and we encourage him to wipe himself. I love that my boy is a BIG boy now but I miss my baby too, I try to remind myself when I get frustrated that he will not be doing whatever is frustrating me in a couple months or a year and by the time he graduates it will all be a fond memory that I get to bring up in front of his girlfriend.

Funny post!

My first son was a great wiper and so our second son's lack of mad skills has stymied us. He was potty trained at 2 and so we did handle his wiping for 2 years. When he went to pre-school, we told him he would have to wipe his own butt and he was appalled. And we were appalled because sometimes the 1st thing he said when he got home was, "I had a bad wiping day today and I think I need to take a bath." Eeew.

At 5 he has gotten better. He has figured out the right amount of toilet paper to use. He has figured out how to lean forward a bit on the seat to really "get in there". And he has always washed his hands so that's not a problem.

In other words, it might just be something that comes with age. Only suggestion I have is to make him clean up his own messes - Supervised of course. And to have dad sit down with him and explain things. Sometimes a man-to-man talk goes a lot farther than words from mommy.

My daughter just turned 5 and we still clean up her butt after she poops. She can do it herself, but I know she won't do a good job and will end up getting herself and everything messy.
I think 3 may be a bit young though..they can't even clean their own hands properly, let alone something that necessates proper hygeine like proper cleaning after a bowel movement..

First off, may I say I love your writing style!! :)

Second, I hope I am not repeating something someone else has posted, as I have not yet read the replies you've received.

I'd like to suggest a "reverse" star chart. Perhaps you can have a chart from Sunday through Saturday with happy faces on each day. For each day there are not "Ewwwwwww" moments :) the happy face stays. If he has a day with a "messy outcome", the happy face either goes away or a sad face takes its place. If he can complete a whole week (or day if you want to start out on a more possible note) he gets a treat... I'd suggest something he really really likes. For instance, if it's on a daily basis, maybe an extra book read to him at night, or maybe an extra 15 mins. of playtime before the nightly ritual of bed.. etc.. If it's on a weekly basis, perhaps a trip to a park, or indoor activity center. You get the idea.

It's going to take time and patience. You have a smart little cookie on your hands, and I'm sure he'll figure it out (just keep lysol and wipes around you at all times!!) LOL

Good luck and let us know how it turns out! ( I have a son who's a little over 2.. I'm gonna need help, too, I'm sure!!) :)

L.

I still wiped my daughter until she started kindergarten- she just didn't do a good enough job on her own- I just had to keep reminding her to ask for help and checking on her when I suspected poop time. I'd take him to the store to buy the flushable wet wipes and pick out the foaming soap (the kid ones with the bright colors are fun for them) . Then you can tell him he has to let you show him how before he can use the fun stuff. Or, if you want help monitoring his bathroom use, maybe keep the door closed and have a bell on it- then you will hear him go in and can just check on him. Good luck

Gotta tell you, our daughter's little arm didn't quite reach back there well enough until just recently -- and she's 5. So my husband and I would help her until she could. Truly, I think 3 is a little young to get it all off the area. Also, flushable toddler wipes REALLY help remove all the poop the best. Dry toilet paper just doesn't cut it.

Don't think you need to fear e.coli; he would have to have eaten something contaminated first. As most of the other moms have commented, he really is too young to be expected to wipe efficiently, so -- until he comes to you and lets you know, you'll have to come up with a method to keep him out of the bathroom until he notifies you. Possibilities are a baby gate, one of those things that fit over the door knob (can't remember what they're called), a safety chain, or a lock on the outside of the door. Hopefully, it will only be for a short time, just until your son realizes mom is serious :)

Number one he is not old enough to effectively wipe his own tush. That's just the way it is. He still needs you to come to his aid and help out. You need flushable wet wipes. He is still a little boy, not a big boy. My son who is 10 still has problems wiping his own butt effectively just because he wants to hurry up and not miss anything. You need to get him good and efficiant so when he goes to school at 4 or 5 years old he can do a good job then. 3 1/2 is still too young to be "good" at it.

It sounds like your son is trying to assert his independence which is wonderful! So now for motivation...I would suggest that you sit him down and tell him that every time he goes to the bathroom that he should come to tell you so that you can "inspect" his work. If he has done a good job of wiping and his hands smell like soap, then he should get a small prize such as: a trinket toy, or a piece of candy, or even stickers for a sticker chart to save up for a bigger prize.
As for keeping the toilet clean, you may want to leave a container of Lysol antibacterial wipes next to it for quick and easy clean up. However, I would not make him responsible for cleaning it up. He's too young and poo is full of bacteria that he should not touch. He will eventually get neater as he gets older and gets better at reaching those "hard to reach" places.

Ummm....he's not really old enough to be doing this without guidance or help. That's just "3" and the way it is....you WILL need to find a way to be there every time he needs to poo.

I hope I am allowed to laugh with you! My son was the same way. I would make him clean up his mess. It was awful, I empathize. I like the bell on the door idea...

Oh man, I wish I had an answer for you. I hope I don't have to experience this same situation (we are potty training now) and I thank you for a great Monday morning laugh. Sorry it's at your expense, but you wrote your issue with such a great sense of humor. Karma will probably come back to get me, but as I've found over these short 2 1/2 years, humor MUST come with parenting or you're doomed;)

I really like Michelle B's Potty Board and Leah's bell and colored foamy soap ideas. My grandchildren did better with wipes. They weren't flushable. They put them in the waste basket that was next to the toilet just as Mama did.

My 7 yo grandson still calls to me to wipe him. LOL Guess that's what Grandma's do. He doesn't ask anyone else to do it. I'm trying to get him to wipe himself. Thus far he will wipe himself if I stay and watch about half the time. I've brought back the wipes but he's not interested in them anymore.

Leslie 3.5 is old enough to clean himself after pooping, but he has to be taught how to do that. My husband taught our sons how to clean themselves and wash their hands, when he leaves a mess like that you need to give him the cleaner and a rag and have him clean it up, then wash his hands, I will not tell you, you have to monitor all his trips to the bathroom, that;s is impossible, like I said he is old enough. have his dad work with him, my husband taught our sons how to stand up at pee when they were just a little over 2, and I'm not sure how old they were when he taught them how to properly clean themselves, but it helped me out a lot.
I would talk to him about the mess he is leaving behind, and let him know it is not acceptable, as for E.coli, he's not going to understand about that, But not leaving a mess he will understand. J.

It seems pritty clear to me that he still needs more practice. OBVIOUSLY, he has snuck off and gone poop. I'm sure you didn't want him doing this on his own without knowing how to do it well. I think he needs to get into the habit of telling you when he is about to go. So, that is something you need to make sure happens. You have to "train him" to tell you. If you want immediate results, then tell him something like, "if you don't tell mommy when you are going to poop, then you won't get dessert after dinner". Use what ever is important to him.
When my daughter was younger and used a pacifier, I used that, to get her to do what I wanted. "If you don't pick up your toys and put them away, you won't get your binky later!" That worked for her. So, try it....what can it hurt?
If that's not an option for you, then you'll just have to keep a closer eye on him, and keep training him.
I have an on-line potty training book if you want it. Email me at ____@____.com and I'll forward it to you.
Good luck!
Good luck!

For just this very reason you describe, I wouldn't let my kids wipe their own butts till they were like, 16.

Ok, I'm exaggerating a little, but at 3, I DEFINITELY would still want to be the wiper.