I Just Can Seem to Figure Out How to Do It - Nap Schedule with 2 Kiddos

Updated on December 23, 2009
C.A. asks from Charlottesville, VA
7 answers

I feel as if I have tried everything with no success. I just can't seem to figure out how to get my 5 month old on a good nap schedule while still attending to the needs of my 2 year old. Granted, my 5 month old isn't sleeping that great as of yet, so that is why I would really like to get her on some sort of schedule, but I just can't seem to figure out how to do it with my 2 year old running around. I feel like I am either neglecting my 5 month old's needs as we run around doing all of the other activities, waking her up in the car seat, sleeping in the Ergo carrier, etc. Or, it is the other way around and I am neglecting my 2 year old as I try to nurse and put down the other for a morning/afternoon nap. My 2 year old has yet to learn how to stay quiet during this time and I end up rushing the younger one and usually can't get her to stay down for a nap AND I feel guilty for plunking the 2 year old in front of the TV in order to keep her quiet and occupied. Do ya feel my frustration? :-) Does the younger one just have to suck it up and learn how to sleep on the fly or do I need to just give it more time in order to develop a schedule? Now, I must admit, I can get them both down for some sort of a nap in the afternoon as my 2 year old goes down at 1 and I can usually get my 5 month old down around then too. BUT I am thinking that the 5 month old's schedule is going to change as the need for the morning and afternoon naps changes and spreads apart. Right now the younger one often takes two in the afternoon, one of them being in the Ergo carrier in the early evening. Your suggestions and tales of similar stories are appreciated! Thanks in advance!

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L.S.

answers from Grand Junction on

Hi C.,
I used the Babywise schedule for both my kids (now 3 and 5). It worked great for me as they both were down for naps in the morning (around 10a or so) and then again in the afternoon around 2p. Then bedtime about 730p. After my 5 year old gave up her morning nap the two of us did quiet things together so my little guy could nap. Then we'd have lunch and run errands together or whatever else we had going. They'd both go down in the afternoon till the 5 yo outgrew that. Again, my daughter and I do some of her school work together(we home school) or some other forms of quiet activity so the little fellow can nap. Occasionally I will let her play on the computer or watch a short video so I can get something done that I need to do. The biggest thing you can do for your kids especially concerning naps is to pick a schedule that works for the three of you and be very consistent with it. Your kids will most likely adapt if you are consistent but if you allow sleeping in the car because you're still on the go etc you won't have much luck getting them to nap when the time comes. Be consistent and you will achieve your goal. Merry Christmas, L.

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L.H.

answers from Denver on

I remember how this feels--just the other day my husband and I were laughing about how, a year ago, it was a daily battle to get my kids to sleep at the same time. Now, at 2 1/2 and 1 1/2, their schedule is so in sync that they usually awaken within 10 mins of eachother. So keep trying!They will eventually get into a routine.

I think the thing that strikes a chord the most with me is your feeling that any way you slice it, someone's needs aren't being met. I can really relate to that feeling. What I tried, and I guess still try to do, is to just make sure I get one on one time with each child for part of the day, whatever that day allots me. When the baby was very young, that one on one time was often nursing, and my son would wait in the pack and play or watch tv. Then when the baby got to sleep, he and i would crawl into my bed and read together. It wasn't much--there were plenty of times in the day where i felt like i wasn't doing enough for either child--but i always had that space of time in the morning to anchor us and i think that really helped us all. So my advice would be, try to decide what you feel is most important for each child, and just be sure to do that every day.

AS for the nap scedules, you are right, they will change as time goes on. Again, for me, the most important thing was to have them go down together in the afternoon, because that was my preferred naptime. If the same is true for you, my advice would be to just be flexible with the morning and try to keep a strong schedule in place for the afternoon, so you can depend on that time in the months to come. There will be days and stretches of days where naps are really tough because schedules are adjusting. Just stay consistent. They will get there! Good luck!

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R.M.

answers from Denver on

O.m.g. Momma. You are not giving yourself enough credit. You are trying your best and that is all that you can do right now.

First of all what time does your day start?? Do let them sleep till whenever?? Do you have any sort of schedule. Do you just fly by the seat of your two year olds pants? Well we all do it till we get way way overwhelmed.

Soo here is my suggestion sit down write out the schedule you would like to have and then put it on the fridge so you dont forget the goals.

A five month old should be taking two naps one around 10 am and then another around 1 pm. Sounds good .
I think your 1st lesson is that the best way to keep a sleeping baby asleep is to keep some kind of background noise.
Radio or tv kinda loud so if the phone rings or the doorbell .
Even if you want to vacuum during nap time its not going to bother anyone.
Staying and keeping a 2 year old quiet is impossible.
I really love the sound machines but anything works. ... Fans.. Music..

NOW AS FOR YOU 2 YEAR OLD. WAKE UP, EAT BREAKFAST, GET READY, HAVE SCHOOL TIME , CLEAN UP TIME, (LET HERR HELP WASH THE DISHES.. WIPE THE TABLE WITH A WET DISH CLOTH. EVEN HELP YOU FOLD LAUNDRY ) FOR EVERY TIME THEY HELP AND ARE PRAISED THE BETTER THEY FEEL AND IT BUILDS SELF CONFIDENCE.
OF COURSE IT'S NOT PERFECT BUT ITS IS ALL ABOUT INCLUDING HER IN YOUR DAY.
I KNOW THAT TV GUILT BUT WHATS MORE IMPORTANT? TV OR YOUR SANITY. DOES SHE STILL SIT IN A HIGHCHAIR. EITHER WAY I SET MY KIDS UP TO PLAY PLAY-DOUGH AND IT IS OK IF THEY DROP IT BUT THEY MUST STAY SEATED TILL THEY ARE DONE SO IT WONT GET TRACKED ALL AROUND . EVERY LITTLE WHILE I GO AROUND THEM AND SWEEP IT. I CAN GO ON AND ON BUT TRUTH IS IA HAVE BEEN A STAY AT HOME MOM FOR 16 YEARS AND SO IF YOU WANT TO TALK FURTHER EMAIL ME THRU MAMASOURCE.

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

You are stuck in a super hard position. I feel your pain! Honestly, you will have to let the 2 year old be alone for a while so you can put the baby down (maybe plunking in front of the TV is the answer). Soon, the 2 year old will figure out that if the baby is down for a nap, then your time goes to the 2 year old.

With my first two children, I was able to just tell my older one that he had to entertain himself while I dealt with the baby. I was lucky with this one, he was never loud and wouldn't think of interrupting if I told him not to from a very young age. For the 2nd and third babies, my 2nd was not so agreeable, I had to plunk him in front of the TV since the oldest was at school and not able to entertain for me. He only had to sit there for 15 minutes or so, I think a few times it went as long as a half hour. I do not think he is scarred for life or anything.

Believe me, they are fine with alone time and the rewards of a schedule and one on one time with each of them is worth it.

Good luck!

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K.L.

answers from Denver on

Hi there! I'm sorry you're having troubles with the nap thing! I will say that my second learned to put himself to sleep because I didn't make a big ordeal out of bed/nap time. I set a short routine, gave him a kiss and layed him in his bed. I couldn't leave my older son unattended for long (ADHD and always getting into trouble!) I did the same with the third and they learned to put themselves to sleep and are still good sleepers. (I didn't do that with the oldest and he is still a nightmare at bedtime) I benefitted much from a pretty set nap routine, but they took plenty of naps in their carrier...or even a shopping cart with a jacket rolled up when they got bigger. We're human - we do our best. Sometimes our kids watch tv while we are attending to something else. But as long as we balance that out with lots of playing with them and letting them run around outside...we can't feel guilt about every little moment when they don't have our full attention. I always had an activity for my oldest to keep him busy - funny, hardly had the tv on when the second came along. Now, with the three, it's on. That's life. Good luck - I agree that working on a routine helps you and the kids.

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K.H.

answers from Denver on

Hello! Glad you posted this, because I am in the EXACT position...with a 6 month old and a 2 year old. Wish I had advice for you, but I'm still trying to figure it out myself. It's easy to say you want to put them on a schedule, but how do you get the kids to stick to one? And my 6 month old is in a phase where she NEVER sleeps...I'll get her down for a nap and 20 minutes later she is up and jazzed..refuses to go back down. Night-time is not much better, lately. I've tried so many different ways to fix it, no luck so far. I'll keep trying, but until I find what works I just accept both kids are happy and healthy and I'm doing the best I can!

Just know you aren't the only one going through this. Good luck, and if you figure this one out, please let me in on the seceret!

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A.K.

answers from Pocatello on

I'm pretty much in the same boat and slowly trying to incorporate a schedule for my youngest (4 months). I don't have any advice other than to say hang in there and take it a day at a time. My oldest (2 1/2) has watched way more TV than I would like but I need to tend to the baby and sometimes it is easier than fighting with my toddler. A little bit more TV won't hurt. Try to spend some one-on-one time with both. Merry Christmas!

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