I Have Decided to Take the Leap....

I've had three kids but can't bring myself mentally to be sterilized. I think my husband should be the one to do it. My plumbing has been messed with enough. There are other alternatives to the pill. Like you I don't want anymore hormones in my body. Are you are ready? Sounds like you are still debating.

If you have doubts, then you probably should not do it. I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old. I am 37 and my husband is 39. We have already decided for a multitude of reasons that we will stop at 2. However, we just can't get to the point where we go permanent. It would be easier for him, but he won't do the big V. So, we just use condoms as needed.

If you are at all doubting it, don't do it. Wait until 100%.

My mom always says they would have had 1 more kid if she hadn't gotten her tubes tied. My husband & I put off the big decision until our youngest was 9 years old & finally decided for him to go through with it knowing that if we ever change our minds, his is much easier to reverse.

I may be biased, because I would never do sterilization at all, but why not just do condoms, a diaphragm and spermicide, combined with abstinence during your most fertile days, for now until you are certain? My OB told me that she has had a few women over the years who INSISTED that they wanted to be sterilized, went ahead and did it, and a few years later came back to her, in tears, asking if there was any hope they could get pregnant. If you have any doubt about it, don't do it!

If you are questioning your decision do not do it. You must be 100% sure.
Once it is done you cannot go back. I had four kids and problems carrying
all four so I knew I would not and could not be pregnant again. I was very
ready and knew it was right for me. Think long and hard if you are not sure.

I'm considering getting a tubal ligation soon, but I've really enjoyed not having a period with the Mirena. I just kind of hate the whole take-it-out-put-it-in procedure every five years. I can't go full hormones, and other permanent birth control options like Essure aren't viable for me.

::sigh::

I'm also hesitating because even though I have EVERY reason not to get pregnant again I think I would regret having it done. I should probably just suck it up and do it. I wonder if they would do a radical hysterectomy just because I ask because I really, really don't want to have a period again.

I'm older (43) and only have one child and I was SOOOO EXCITED once I had Essure done.

We never wanted kids and the one we've been blessed with is awesome. He's more than enough for us to handle so the idea of another kid would make my head explode.

We're one and done and so happy. LOVE not taking The Pill anymore!

I think it is very normal to be anxious, but if you are truly doubting your decision then I would say don't do it. For all intents and purposes this is not something that can be undone, you MUST be SURE! Have you considered the Paragard IUD? It is hormone free, good for 10 years, highly effective and can be pulled at any time if you change your mind. I think it is a great option for many women that are "done" but not quite ready to completely close up shop and throw away the key. Long term, hassle free, and not permanent.

I had my first child at 41 and my husband (48) had a vasectomy 6 weeks later. We planned for him to do this all along. I had a moment of sadness anyway, which I think is completely normal, for what wasn't to be. But I had always wanted just one (had raised his other two, also) and based on our ages and our place in life, the V made sense. I enjoyed not having to go back on the pill. (I'm back on now both because we are divorced and because they work even better than other hormone replacement at keeping any possible menopause symptoms at bay.)

Who is most sure? If your husband/SO is most sure, why not have him be the one to be sterilized?

I second guess every major decision. I think the uncertainty is a normal part of deciding to do something permanent. I suggest that once it's done you will feel relief.

If you're not 100% ok with the idea, then don't do it. If you're absolutely sure, why not have your husband get a vasectomy? You've been through 3 pregnancies and births. Give your body a break and let him get "fixed"! ;) Good luck with whatever choice you make.

I know a lot of people who have regretted it. If you aren't absolutely sure, don't do it.

I had my tubes tied in 08. I never regretted it.

My story might be different. I HAD to get "fixed" for my sanity. I had lost two babies in one year - one at 22 weeks and the next at 12-14. It made sex VERY difficult...we had tried for 4 years to get pregnant...then once we got pregnant, we were pregnant for five years straight and I only have two precious boys for it....so it seemed like EVERY time we had sex, if I wasn't pregnant already - I would get pregnant!!

I ended up having a hysterectomy in Feb 11 and LOVED that choice!!!

GOOD LUCK!!!

I had my tubal at 33 after my 3rd child. I was completely certain I did not want another child. That was 12 years ago and I have never regretted it. If you have doubts, maybe you should wait to make sure you are certain.

Last year after I had my youngest child I was in the same boat. I didn't want another child anytime soon (our two boys are 13 months apart), but I wasn't ready to give up the idea of being able to have children. I wasn't ready to have my tubes tied so I opted for the non-hormonal IUD. I am extremely happy with my decision. By the time it is ready to come out I know I won't want to have any more children (I had the procedure when I was 28) but If for some crazy reason my husband and I decide to have just one more (we have two boys) then we have that option.

Why in the world are you going through this surgery when you're husband could do it instead?? I had my tubes tied, stapled and cut when I had my c-section with my triplets. If it weren't for that my husband would have been the one doing it! But since I was already opened up they did it. I completely suggest that your husband do it rather than you. There's no need for you to go through a full surgery and recovery when your husband can go in for an outpatient procedure and be done with it. Much more safer for him to do it rather than you. I beg you, have HIM do it!!!!!!!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

For me it was a brain/heart conflict (I got the 10yr, non-hormone IUD by Paraguard - by the time it's ready to come out, I'll most likely be menopausal or premenopausal). My brain new it was the right decision (any future pregancies were guaranteed to keep me in bed for 9mos, something I couldn't do with a toddler, and could very well end in miscarriage, since it took six pregnancies to have my son), but my heart . . . . . its still sad :(

Hugs and good luck!

I had my tubes tied almost two years ago. I have had no problems, physically or mentally. I love no having to worry. Do I ever wonder about babies? Yes, I do. For me, I miss MY babies. They grow so fast! Our financial situation is not bad, and another child would def. burden us. I also have no desire to have any more. I have though about it many times. I decided to do it, rather than have my husband do it, b/c I felt it was more effective. I have heard many stories about women getting pregnant after hubby has had a vasectomy! It was a very easy procedure. In and out, and I was fine the next day. Very little pain. Only you can decide for yourself. You have until Dec. to decide. I would keep the appointment for now, think about it for a while. You can always cancel. (Also, if for some reason you really want another baby after, you can have an implant.) I discussed that w/my Dr. who asked me many MANY times if I was sure about my decision. For me, it was right. Good luck making your decision. You still have plenty of time to decide! (p.s. re: NFP, not knocking it, but the worst part is you have to avoid sex during the point in the month when you are most interested in it! Not so much fun!)

Check out all of your options first, such as NFP ( keep an open mind and get the facts) so that you can make an informed decision. I try never to make a decision when I'm confused. I don't like to take chemicals either and believe your body works best when left the way nature intended.
God Bless.
PS. another good one is ~ H.A.L.T. Don't make a decision if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.

If you are having these feeling then postpone the appointment. I understand logically that you don't want to have more children. But if you are suddenly having doubts it does not mean you think you want more, it just means that you don't want to have the choice taken away yet. Try using the Nuva Ring for a while, it inserts int the vagina and stays for the 3 weeks then it's removed. After a week a new one is put in.

It is low dose and doesn't go through the whole system like a pill does. If intercourse is uncomfortable while it is inside then it can be removed then put back in afterwards.

I have 4 friends out of 5 who had procedures done to stop the possibility of becoming pregnant that regretted it afterwards. They realized they would never feel a child inside them again, they felt barren, didn't feel feminine and fertile anymore. It should have been put off for them. One friend had her hubby get fixed when they were done and then she regretted it and divorced him so she could get pregnant again. She had several more children with the new hubby. The one that is happy she got fixed is now going through a divorce and the hubby's girl friend is pregnant.

Since this is not a required surgery I think waiting a few months would not hurt. In my honest opinion if a woman reaches the point she is done having kids then she is the one responsible for have any procedures done. It is not anyone else's responsibility.

I had a tubal ligation in my early 30's, several years after my one daughter was born. It was a great decision for me. I had so many reasons not to try to bring another child into the world. I have never regretted it. My daughter got all the love and attention she needed, had plenty of friends, and was so content with the experience that she now has stopped with one wonderful, contented 5yo son. He tells us he expects to have only one child when he grows up.

I think once a decision is firm, it's easier for most people to just accept it and move on with other decisions that open up to them at that point.

In the event that I was absolutely sure I never wanted any more kids, I would have my husband get sterilized. That's just me. I think it's too major for my body, barring medical necessity, personally.