Today I took my toddler to an indoor park. We had a playdate and were having a grand old time until---she slipped. The floors there were not carpeted and very slippery, and we were not permitted to wear shoes on the structures.
Anyway, DD fell right on her face and naturally started screaming. I fetched her only to meet the glaring eyes of a woman shaking her head. I guess my guilt kicked in that I couldn't catch DD in time and was gathering our things to go.
I felt obligated to tell the woman on the way out that the floors were very slippery. I know I didn't have to justify my daughter's slip but for some reason I did.
Anyone else go through this?
Thanks for sharing your anecdotes and offering your support ladies! I know this will happen again so next time I will just ignore the glares and continue to pepper my DD with lots of hugs and kisses for her boo-boos!
My own mother had a habit of doing this, but she was always doing it in sympathy for the parents and children. I had to tell her that her face looked like she was disapproving. She was shocked, because she only felt good things for the parents and children. Perhaps this lady was the same as my mother?
Don't assume her head shaking was aimed at you.
She could have been shaking her head at how slippery the floors were in a childrens' play area.
You don't need to justify yourself to anyone. Doing so makes you look like you think you were in the wrong (which, you weren't...kids fall all the time, those clumsy little suckers!).
Kids fall down. Period. That lady should have kept her eagle eyes on her own kid, rather than glare at you. Don't sweat it mama :-)
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haha, yes....but mine isn't a toddler, refer to my last post if you choose
When someone glares at us, shaking their head our child within us gets hooked. Emotionally it takes us back to when our parents admonished us.
It's a normal reaction and one I wouldn't be concerned about.
Yep - I used to be the same! Once I put my infant into her carrier so I could help my toddler get her drink. I was taking her right out when I finished so I didn't strap her in. She had never tried to get out before, but she arched her back and I had to grab her. A stranger said, "You always have to strap them in!" I felt the need to explain that I hadn't because I was getting her right back out, and she actually had the nerve to look at me and say, "Wrong answer!" That experience changed me and now I explain myself to no one!
Yes. My son ran into a tree at an outside event. I got this horrified look from a woman who glared at me because why? I don't know. . . but I felt so judged and shameful . . .
no advice, just a similar story for empathy.
Hopefully she was shaking her head in disbalief that the floors were slippery and that you had nothing to do with it. I know how you feel. Unless you were being neglectful or abusive you do not need to explain yourself.
This type of thing has happened to me many times--so you're not alone! I hate to say it, but a lot of times, such looks have come from older women. Maybe they never had kids, or maybe they forgot what it was like? Or maybe they never left their houses, lol. Don't worry, you're not a bad mom! Just normal.
I wouldn't give it a second thought. Does she have kids? I mean come on! My two are 10 and 13 and if I had a nickel for every time they slipped I'd be rich. I keep saying "good thing they make kids tough these days!" Funny story... Years ago, before kids, I was in the checkout at the grocery store and in front of me was a woman and her young daughter(7 or 8). The girl was swinging around on the bar where the carts go. Well this girl had a cast on her arm. The mom grabbed her so they could leave and the girl screams "mommy, don't break my other arm!" I'm sure the mom was mortified! I thought it was so funny, but looking back after having had kids I think it's even funnier! Hysterical!
You didn't have to explain anything to this woman. Your child slipped on the floor, it's not like you shoved her. I would've asked the woman what her problem was.
Yes, Sometimes I feel the urge to explain myself to strangers, explain my age or family situation, my friends tell me I'm crazy and to not worry about what strangers think!
I know how you feel! Let it go. You couldn't have prevented your child from slipping---you didn't know! The lady should realize how judgemental she is being and back off. You didn't do anything wrong. Some people expect parents to put their child in a bubble. Its just not possible and or realistic. Take care and hope your daughter feels better!
M
I never felt obligated to explain myself to anyone in that type of situation.
Are you sure she wasn't giving you the "I've been there" look? Or the concerned/freaked out/I hope the kid is okay look?I don't get why she would've glared at you. Is it possible that in your frenzied state, you may have read into it a bit too much?
