I Feel like a Bad Mom. HELP

NAPS! I'm serious. When you're home with the baby and she takes a nap, take one with her. You would be amazed how much even a short nap can revive you.

If you feel you are giving her plenty of love and attention, time with other children is not important yet, If she can move freely around the house and play inside, lots of time outside is not important. Sounds like you Know what is important, talking to her a lot (even on a trip to the store) singing to her ( in the car) Put her near you in the high chair while you prepare dinner or clean the kitchen so she can see you and hear you and pick up cheerios Enjoy this time with just her!she will grow so quickly and want to spend more time with friends when she is older, for now you are all she needs!

C., when my kids were younger and school was out for the summer, my house always looked like a mess. I let the housework go for the most part in order to take care of my kids. They were very energetic and if I left them to their own devices to clean house, I was always sorry, LOL!

It's much easier in the summer to take them out than in the winter. So just know that in the few short months til spring, she's not going to wither away on the vine because you aren't taking her out.

I just gotta say that since you are trying to run a business, you have every right in the world to put her in a mother's morning out. It really isn't advisable to take care of children while trying to work at home. If your husband doesn't understand this, he is not being fair to you. If you think it's your job to do everything AND take care of her too, then you just aren't being fair to yourself.

One thing that you need to do is get enough rest and eat properly (including drinking plenty of water). I urge you to try to do this for your health's sake FIRST, and for your daughter's sake second. You can't be the kind of mommy you want to be if you aren't healthy. And it sounds to me that you aren't 100% healthy here, being so tired.

So get your child to a mother's morning out place where she can run around with other children and you have some quiet time of your own to organize your work and do your business. After you get her to bed, prepare for the next day - organize certain things to make your life easier. As long as your kitchen is relatively clean, your clothes are washed (even if they aren't folded) and the toilets aren't growing things, it is okay.

You said that something has to give. These points I've given you are ways to "give". Please do it.

Dawn

I agree I think you should go to the doctor to talk about depression. Lack of motivation, fatigue, low energy, those are all symptoms of depression. Could even be post-partum depression (yes, that can hang around for well over a year after having a baby). Make sure you're getting enough sleep too. Take naps and don't feel guilty about it!

Have you been to the doctor lately? I think it's always a good idea to have a physical to make sure that your labs are normal and that you are in good health. The other thing that can help is exercise. I've found that to be so helpful during my week. It produces endoprhins and those are so good for the mood.

Join a gym and have her go into the childcare at the gym. Great for her/great for you.

See if you can join a mom's group, or local library playgroup or something. Get her playing with other kids.

Make sure you're getting enough sleep.

Lighten up on yourself. Do less chores. Seriously. Cut back on housework and ENJOY your child. And don't feel bad for not doing all the chores.

Aww Mama! You are being way too hard on yourself. If you beat yourself up it will make it even harder to have energy to do things. Try and set smaller goals with a lot less pressure. Clean and/or pick up one room a day, take two trips out a week with daughter like a walk around the block, go to the library. Take the pressure off and let yourself enjoy these precious years!

Eating well and exercising can really help. If you are out of shape start out with 5 minutes of exercise at a time and add a minute to it every time until you can excersise for 30 minutes. Home elliptical or treadmills are a lifesaver when you are home bound with a toddler.
As for diet; really look at what you are eating. Are you eating processed foods, white flower, sugar, coffee, alcohol, lots of heavy meats and dairy? Consider swapping out your normal breakfast for a fruit smoothie (better yet look into green smoothes) 5 days a week and splurging on your favorite breakfast foods the other two days a week. Try also getting a nutritional brewers yeast (full of B vitamins) and take a daily dose. Great for energy.
Do you drink alcohol at night? Even small doses of alcohol interrupt natural sleep cycles and leave you feeling more tired therefore more stressed during the day. Save the wine for special occasions. Watch the coffee too. It can really make you crash. Skip it or stick to one morning cup.
I've also felt like you many times. When we have little time for ourselves we tend not to treat our bodies right. Many times Ive had to pull myself out of a health rut and make a real conscious effort to stop with the heavy foods, sugar, the cycle of caffeine in the morning alcohol at night to relax, combined with the lack of exercise. So don't think I'm judging you. I'm just so much happier and energetic with my green smoothies, exercise , and partially vegan diet (mind you I'v added some vegan dishes to my repetoir I'm not suggesting you go vegan). The last time I made this switch I felt like wonder woman, staying on top of the house work (well okay thats not totally true), and having more energy to play with kids.
What I'm saying is make a little investment in yourself and the energy will follow. You'll be feeling like a better mom if you take the time to take care of your health. And I second letting some to the housework go. Its just a stage of life you are in.

Your not a bad mom, your just a mom! That comes with alot of baggage. I myself always feel like I don't do anything well because there is so much to do!! Try to relax and prioritize what is really important. If this is your first child, your probably putting a ton of pressure on yourself to be perfect....try to let that go and you will feel better.
If kids are loved and in a nurturing environment they will turn out great!

Have you been checked for depression? I would get a physical with your doctor. Start there. Then for more energy, daily walks ALWAYS help. No matter the weather, go and take your little one and let her explore--run, walk, sing, dance etc. around the neighborhood or a large park etc.

I have three little ones and we go out daily to run and burn off energy. Even when you are tired, you will be more energized if you just get out and GO~

Do you eat right? Exercise? Socialize? Have "you" time? It's amazing what a difference these things will do to better your frame of mind.

That being said, it wouldn't hurt to talk to your doctor about your concerns.

I work full time and try to get up early to exercise and there is just no way I can get it all done. Well, I guess I could, but I would be a miserable b*tch with a super clean, well organized, well decorated home. Not worth it.

I made taking the kids out a priority over housework. A good playgroup was a lifesaver when they were little. The kids had other kids to play with, we had a reason to get up and get out of the house, and I had a good group of ladies to talk to. It is exhausting when they are little, but I always had more energy if I got out and got some fresh air.

I've been where you are. After my last child was born, I had no energy. I agree with the posters who recommend going to the doctor for a checkup. That's a start. I've been taking an antidepressant and a multivitamin now for about 8 months, and I feel better than ever and have energy. A good vitamin for this is One A Day's Alive Women's Energy multivitamin.

Hope this helps!

I say let some of the housework fall by the wayside. Is their a SO who can help?

I vote you need to focus on what's most important in life and if things such as chores fail to get done then so be it. I be you're a great mom and love your daughter and spend tons of time with her. I can understand how not having the energy to do all you feel you are supposed to or even want to do can be depressing but sometimes it's best thought not easiest to just let all the "trash" go. By that I mean allow your mind to relax and not be worried about what there is that needs to be done or you should have done but rather concern yourself with what you are doing in the moment. Yes, it's important to always look ahead but sometimes it's best to live in the present and allow yourself to feel accomplished and proud of yourself.

Put her in a Mother's Day Out program so she can get out of the house and make some friends a couple of days per week. Even if you don't work on those days you can take that time to go shopping, go to the doc, take a nap, do some laundry, etc....the program is for getting some things done.

Also, look into some postnatal vitamins--FairHavenHealth.com and Beeyoutiful.com. Cut yourself some slack on housework. How involved is your husband? Do you have the option of turning off mommy mode and taking a long bath? It's not that easy at my house because my husband will let him come and find me, but sometimes I send them out for errands or to visit my mother.

As a first-time mother, I had no idea how much energy it would take to mother a little one and still live my life. Lol! I knew that I would be tired and that my social life would be non-existent, and I gladly walked into that. However, I had no idea that it would be so hard to go pee and take a bath and wash my hair. That just never occurred to me, and it takes a toll! I feel overwhelmed only when I think that I should be getting everything done perfectly. When I give myself a break, I feel better. For example, when I get home I go straight to the bathroom. That sounds simple enough, but it doesn't feel like it. I have to fight the urge to just jump right in when I walk through the door. I remind myself that he is still safe and happy like before I pulled into the garage, so a few more minutes won't make a difference. However, he usually wants to nurse, aka reconnect, right away, so I don't hang my clothes up until later. I give myself permission to undress and leave my clothes on the bed or wherever until after I have communed with my son. If it's late by the time I realize that his toys have not been put away, then I give myself permission to let that wait until tomorrow. It's important that he know to put his toys away, but forcing that onto a sleepy toddler is just not worth it.

I think that at 18 months, you are still getting your rhythm of working it all in, so you should grade yourself on a curve.