I Can't Be the Only Mom Who Has These Thoughts...

When my son was a few months old, I used to have visions of accidentally dropping him on the tile floor or on the concrete when I was getting him out of the car. Thankfully I never did. I think it's normal as long as its not taking over all day.

I am sooo glad to read this!! I have visions all the time and I was starting to worry about myself...seriously! I was to the point that I wondered if I needed therapy because of these awful visions. I even had one today when I was with my daughter at the pool...ugh!!

It's nice to know that I am not the only crazy, momma bear out there :)

I am so glad you asked this question. I have always thought I was crazy but I have these...not just about my son, but also about my father (who is disabled and lives with us), my husband and myself (always vision a horrible car accident). Thanks!!!!

Oh no! I totally have those "visions", and they are CLEAR AS DAY in my head! You're not alone! My kid is dangerously independent and adventurous, so he's actually given me reason to have them. For example, today, I didn't realize that a visiting neighbor had left our front door unlocked. I got a call from that same neighbor 5 minutes later asking if she realized that my son was wandering around out behind the house by himself??!! I had run upstairs for 5 minutes!!!!
And all I can think of is him running into traffic or some creep grabbing him. He's fine. But I'm not.
So no, you're not alone!!!!

I have the same evil thoughts. I am not sure why. I just love my children so much that I fear the bad to happen to them. I don't know your faith, but for me. I pray about it, and ask for those evil thoughts to leave my mind. I don't want the evil to steal my joy of my children.

It's probably your conscience telling you that the street is NOT a playground, like so many parents think nowdays. I get so irritated seeing kids playing in the street all of the time and then parents have the nerve to give dirty looks and tell YOU to watch out for THEIR children, when they shouldn't even be in the street in the first place! Parents need to teach their children to watch out for cars, not the other way around...hopefully you are doing this with your son.

I think your thoughts are normal and perhaps it is our instinct to have these bad thoughts just to make us even more protective and aware as to what could happen. You're not psycho!

No, you're not the only one. I have visions of bad things happening to my son pretty regularly, and they are clear as day, with all of the realistic details you wouldn't normally expect in something from your imagination.
I too have pictured him running into the street and getting hit by a car, and the awful graphic details that I honestly can't believe I even have in my mind.
When I pull into an intersection to turn left, I imagine a car slamming into ours.
One time when he was playing in our yard, I had a "vision" of a big branch from the tree falling onto him.
When were at the park and saw a dog, I envisioned the dog getting loose and attacking my son.
When he walks down the stairs, I have visions of him falling really hard.
Just a couple of days ago, we were outside in the rain, and I had a vision of him getting hit by lightning.
I think it is just the instinct to protect our children. We can see all of the threats and realize what could happen in any given situation, and our imagination does the rest.

Unless you can't lead a normal life because you've been overwhelmed by your fears, you're just a normal mom. Women, as a group, have more of these thoughts than men do, as a group, and so are more on the lookout for potential danger and less willing to take risks. Nature has designed this into us for the protection of our children.

And you've recognized the dark underlining of this tendency – if keeping our children under lock and key would guarantee their safety, some of us would be tempted. Of course, that would cost our children their freedom and happiness, so most of us won't do it.

So, what's left – to be plagued by these dreadful, agonizing scenarios? Not if you keep bringing yourself back to the present, in which your son and his dad are playing happily, all limbs intact, and no child is being mowed down on your street, and you're safely typing on your keyboard and wondering about life, and probably looking forward to putting your son to bed for another safe night of sleep.

When your thoughts jump into a future that will probably never come (it could, but probably won't), your anxiety grows, your heart races, and you feel the anguish you might feel if the worst actually happened. So, who would you be without that thought? A mom watching her happy son play with his loving dad. You're okay, right? Good, actually? Yay!

So, when these disturbing thougths pop up, notice that you're living in a future that isn't even real, and bring yourself back to now. Repeat as necessary. You'll probably find yourself having fewer of these thoughts as your son gets older – or at least until he learns to drive. ;-)

I dont know if we are psycho, but I get these "visions" at times to, specially after I nightmare I had of someone coming into our house and taking our child while we slept, but I try not to let it get to me, and watch him as much as I can trying not to be overprotective.

Hope you find this helpful, good Luck!

OH wow!! ME tooO!! mY Boyfriend says I should be a horror film director! I rather err on the side of caution ALways! its always good to be wrong and not Right in those situations!! I dont let my kids play outside not even for one minute without me or another adult being there.. I dont even let them go to the car before me- especially since florida has a high abduction rate.. I had to travel to NYC on ER after my grandfather passed and the kids were still in school- My ex husband and my boyfriend managed to care for them while i was gone for five days and I must have called a million times!! You are not psycho- youre a great mom!

You are normal, but you can't let your mind play those movies. When it comes up, say "I'm worried again" and be OK with that fact, but don't give it the energy to play the whole scenario through. If you practice that with discipline, real discipline, the "what if" movies will stop and you will feel more peaceful. It's OK to love so much, and it is natural to want to hang on to it. It isn't healthy or productive, though, and allowing it to sap your energy can be bad for your family on many levels. But we ALL do it.

I am the same exact way. It's just a mommy thing. Alot of people say I am an "overprotective mother" but it's better to be overprotective than under protective in my opinion. One time we were at the beach and we were like 11 stories up and I was walking on the balcony holding my baby. And I had thoughts like what happened if I were to trip and fall and drop him over the balcony? I'm scared of heights myself, so this may have something to do with it. And I have also had thoughts while walking near a busy street if my 3 year old were to let go of my hand and take off into the busy traffic and get ran over. And when my kids are sick with a cold or anything, I'm so scared of them quitting breathing in their sleep. It's not being psycho at all. I'm sure all moms have been like that at one time or another.

I think just being a M. cause default fear/worry. Before I was a M., none of these things bothered me, and the moment I became a M., everything is haywire. I think it's normal if it doesn't become obsessive! Minus the worry, etc, just think how God sees each one of us as well..He is that much involved in our daily living and cares for us too that he doesn't want anything to happen to us.

It is a Mommy thing, we begin to see possible futures right before giving birth. We see all the bad things that can happen and try to head stuff off before it happens. The trick is to actually access the risk.
We visit the beach and my girls wear life preservers, just in case.
I had my sister watching my little toddler. I told her to watch her as I went in the house. She walked right up to the mower I just turned off and grabbed the muffler. My 11 year old sister told me it never occured to her that she might grab a muffler. ( not even a scar).
Seeing possible futures, That's a Mom power, use it wisely and well.

omg i am exactly the same way! I envision the worst things, it drives me nuts! I'm so glad you posted this so I know I'm not the only paranoid nut around! lol
I'm gonna go check out the rest of the responses to see if we have others like us !

I have always had an over-active imagination. Not to a debilitating point, but I did think I was a bit of a nutcase. Like I would go to the airport to pick up my sister and suddenly envision her plane crashing as it landed. Horribly morbid. I never told anyone about it until one time my sister and I were talking and I jokingly mentioned something like that and she said she was the same way. I think whenever you have someone you love, you worry about them, and having my imagination coupled with the fact that I probably watch too much Criminal Minds/Law & Order, LOL, it's bound to happen occasionally.

I'm like MJ. I always had things like that flash in my mind. I've never been suicidal, but I've seen me dying and perhaps the funeral. Then with my son I see it too. When ever we drive, there are different idiots that come close, it flashes in my mind. Even when we are sitting in a lot and waiting for Papa it happens. I have it also whenever he goes over to his dad's. I know his dad would never be stupid enough (he knows I have every ounce of information on him I can get ie. cars license, car make and model, SS-had to fill out paperwork and that's why i have his number, parent name, number, and address, ect.) to ever kidnap him, but it still flashes in my head. I think it's just our mamabear instincts.

Oh thank goodness you asked this - I was sure that I was just morbid, or paranoid, or sensing that something really bad was going to happen. Happy to know that my mommy instincts are just normally tuned. :)

You are not psycho! Just a worried mom. I worry about my 5 year old son every day all day with what the world is like. I watch my son like a hawk 24/7 too...bec. it only takes a S. for something to appen. But then I just try to calm myself and say, it will not happpen, because I will not let it, and I am right here. You are a good mom!

oh my god! i thought i was the only one too!!! i was even too scared to ask on here about it!!!

THANK YOU MAMAS!!! -- I have a two year old and a one month old, and sometimes I have these awful visions/pictures in my mind of something horrible happening to them, or to my husband and I ....and I can't stop it. I have to conciously say to myself, "That is ridiculous, you need to relax. Everyone is safe and sound".. etc...

I feel a lot better. Thank you for posting!!

I used to travel with my baby a lot, like the first 8 months of her life. I would stop a lot at travel centers (flying J's) and everytime I got back in the car I was so afraid I left the baby behind! I kept thinking what if I put her next to the car and drove off, and I had all these horrible visions. My boyfriend thought I was crazy. I still take double takes to make sure she's in the back seat and she's 16 months. I also started having bad visions of accidents with her eyes. At my inlaws they have an old dresser with sharp corners I am just so afriad of her running into it and damaging her eye. Those are just 2 things I think about. I would say you are not psycho, and if you are, i am in the same boat with you, as are a lot of other moms!

You LOVE your child, he is the air you breathe! I think of ways that my kids could die or be seriously injured probably at least 50 times a day...you are normal!!! Even when my daughter is just running, I think of ways that she can get hurt. You are not psycho, don't stress yourself out anymore than you already are!!

The only thing that keeps these thoughts at bay for me is to pray a lot!! Seriously, when I get some crazy thought I literally pray and ask God to protect my child from that specific thing. That is my only line of defense I have to really quiet my heart and really, my mind has been blown some of the amazing ways I have seen God protect my kids! So you might want to try it!! I don't care what it is, I have literally said "God I thank you for protecting my kids from ever getting electrocuted, thank you for my kids breathing perfectly all night and waking up healthy and refreshed in the morning.." and so on....I don't care how silly it sounds, I just do it and God is really gracious and takes good care of my kids;)

Oh I do the exact same thing!!! I thought I was crazy/paranoid/watching too much TV or something... you've unwittingly helped me answer the same question that I never thought to ask on here. So no, you're NOT alone, and THANK YOU for easing my mind as well.... shwew!

not only are you not psycho, but I don't know a mom who has not had these thoughts. Every time I see a kid on TV who has been abducted or murdered I am practically convinced that will happen to me. I hate it. Unfortunately, that mama bear instinct is always there, even when we don't need it. It's normal, so don't worry. If it is really affecting your ability to go out into the world, then, of course, seek help. A little anti-anxiety meds can go a long way. Otherwise, I would say relax, and know you are in good company ;-)

I think we all have "what if's" run though our head from time to time... it is a way of preparing & also protecting our kids. By knowing the possible dangers, we are able to set rules to help protect our kids from the "what if's".

My hubby also has them - not as often as I do... mine come more in dreams. Some of which scare me to death... I won't let my hubby put his desk in a certain spot in the house because of a dream I had. The night I had the dream I was in such a panic that I actually woke him up & he woke me up from the nightmare... when he got me calmed down enough to talk, i did tell him the dream & he went and moved his desk - which mind you was in the middle of the night. It has been 4 yrs since the dream & his desk still isn't alloud in that spot. I know I most likely sound crazy, but just thinking about the dream brings tears to my eyes.

My in-laws got upset at me, when I told them about a dream I had years ago. It was about them getting in an accident w/ my daughter & no one servived it. They took it as I didn't trust them... which was not the case - actually in the dream they were not at fault. But more an underlined fear I have.

I lost my brother when I was young... I was 13, he was 9. He was hit by a truck when riding his bike. It is something I still have issues dealing with sometimes, eventhough I have learned to adjust to it after 20 years. But I do feel that it is part of the cause of my fears.

Believe me it's not that you want something to happen to your boy, it's just your mind seeing what could happen. So, that you can protect him from it happening. Just teach him based on the vision & he should be able to protect himself a little more in the future.

I think its a Mom thing, not saying Dad's love there kids less it's just different with them. I have always said that if anything happens to my daughter you had better burry me with her!! I think its worse if it's your only child too, not that you worry less with 2 or more, you just have less time to think! I guess if I ever get to have another one I will be able to test my theory. I have always thought that (most) Mom's feel a soul connection with their babies that is very intense and runs to the heart of their soul, my miscarriages were hard enough to take, I can't imagine loosing my child. I have the same fears as you do, same horrible thoughts, my husband calles me parinoid but I think God mad mothers parinoid so children would survive childhood!!!

You are totally normal...and my husband doesn't get it either :)
It started when my kids were babies (I would dream that I forgot them for a minute in a shopping mall & someone stole them), got worse when they were 3-8 (I'd watch them climbing the jungle gym at the park & have visions of them falling and literally breaking their necks or cracking their skulls open--terrifying!) and almost never happened by the time they were in middle school. I think it's just a mom's internal protective radar going overactive :)

As alot of moms have said, this also happens to me. Such a relief to know I am not alone. The one thing I will tell you is that I have noticed that it's much more pronounced when my period is due or during ovualtion-in other words, during hormone fluctuations. Try to relax, hard as that is. And I will, too! :)

I do this all the time, with everything, not just my kiddo. It's the way my mind works. What is the WORST thing that can happen. Of course, after the scenario gets played out 6 or 7 different ways... 2 things happen:

1) I'm more prepared - not as in "if it happened" but ways to prevent / things to be aware of.

2) As yet, none of my doomsdays have come true... so no matter how bad it gets, it is never as bad as I imagine... so things are looking up! :) :) :)

It's completely normal to feel that way. I think it's mother natures way of helping protect our children. It helps us be more aware of our surroundings and the "what if's". As long as you don't go overboard and use these "visions" to make appropriate changes to keep your kids safe then you are fine.

You are not psycho! lol. You're just a great mom who cares for her kiddo. I have nightmares sometimes about someone kidnapping my son... and i even had one where he passed away. I woke up and was so terrified.. i had to go check on him immediately. I think every mom has those "what if" thoughts.. i know i do.. and they come and go quite often. At least you are aware that bad things can happen! some moms completely ignore those facts.

I have the same thoughts :)...my son ran out into the middle of the street...luckily there wasn't a car coming but I envisioned him getting hit and lying lifeless in the middle of the street. I have to shake my head to get the image out of my mind. I think it's normal to have thse thoughts but not sure why we have them. My theory is that we just love them so much we get scared of something horrible happening to them. When I get scared and all these fears start coming up I just say a quick little prayer and it helps :)

I don't think you're psycho, but I do think you're being excessive. Try talking to your pcp to see if there is anything he or she can give you anything to help with your anxiety. I wish you luck.

I think we all have a little of that. It's great that you are identifying this and not letting the fear and worry prevent you from the joy of your family. Who of us by worrying can add a single hour to our lives?

I know I'm late with this but I never once washed my son in the kitchen sink because I had visions of his feet getting into the garbage disposal! Crazy--I know...I think all moms become hyper-sensitive to worst case scenarios when they have a child. Dads, on the other hand, remain pretty oblivious.

I have this stuff happen at times and often in dreams. I spoke to a Dr about it and she said it's because that my worst fear is something happening to my children.

I think it causes you to be extra careful and there's really nothing wrong with that. If it bothers you alot you should go talk to a professional maybe that would put your mind a ease.

L.

Welcome to parenthood! You obviously love your child so much and that is fantastic. The world would be a better place with more parents like you. :-)

I'm going to have to read the other answers on this one! I do that too and I hate it, as if worrying about them falling and scraping their leg isn't bad enough. I worry about him falling off bleachers and dying. I worry about him climbing on a little plastic slide and not sitting far enough towards the slide but more on the edge and falling backwards. running to fast and slipping and cracking his head open. I'm not one of those "over protective" parents who locks my kid in a bubble. My son, who will be 3 in sept, is not confined because of my fears I just tell him to be really careful in situations that I'm nervous about. Which isn't a lot. He is a boy and I know he'll get hurt.....why can't I stop "over" worrying? I'll lay in bed at night worrying about "what if he doesn't wake up in the morning" should I go check him? I wasn't this way when he was an infant. I think it's because I've know quite a few people who have lost their children in the last 2 yrs. Mind you some of these stories may bother you. Had a friends neice not wake up from nap, after going to the dr for an ear infection, my husbands 2nd or 3rd cousin had an 18mo old the dad went in before work and he was fine when the mom got up about an hr later he had passed. Friends who lost babies to sids, husbands friends 2nd cousin fell off one of those inflateables slide(like 50 ft) and of course didn't make it, he was 3. We were at a birthday a couple weeks ago and I took my eyes off my son for a min to talk to my husband and when I couldn't find him paniced because there is a small lake with stream at that park and he had wanted to go see the "choo choo" ride on the other side of the stream. Luckily he didn't get that close but he was going towards it. Then a little later he was out by the parking lot and wearing a white shirt next to a white car I freaked again thinking OMG he's gone. Was he kidnapped, did he drown, what am I gonna do without my baby.

So needless to say, you're not alone!!!!

i have a very real paranoia about my daughters getting mistreated by a man in some way.

im not a man hater, its just that 3 out of 4 women get touched inappropriatley in their lives, and i have 2 girls and i hate the odds of a safe lifestyle clear of that sort of thing.

things happen, no , youre not crazy, kids roll balls into the street and get hit by stupid people who speed through neighborhoods.

its your job to have these visions

I used to do that too. Still do at times even after all these years.
What really helped me was remembering that the Bible says that these kinds of thoughts come from satan, who wants us to feel frightened and defeated. Instead, the Bible asks us to think on what ever is good, and pure, and TRUE. These scary thoughts are not good, or pure, or true, and they cause worry and fear, which is not sent from God. To waste time thinking about what "might have been" rather than " what is" makes us miss the joy of the moment, as well as the peace God wants us to have.
Dismiss those thoughts as they happen, tell satan to "get behind you", and come back to the moment and what is really happening. Enjoy the blessings God has given you, and don't borrow trouble that is not yours !
I wish you well !
:o)

I used to have horrible disturbing thoughts that left me so depressed by the end of it. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and was put on a low dose of anxiety medicine. You would t believe the difference. I don't have to take it anymore and I have to say that I am better. Anxiety runs in my family. I still have slight thoughts about bad things happening to my kids but not nearly as traumatic as I used to. It's so nice to not see those terrifying images in my head anymore. Good luck!

i have thoughts like that allllll the time, you're not alone. And my son is only seven months going on eight. good luck

You're not psycho, but your thoughts may be getting the better of you.

However, the beauty of young kids is you DO have a lot of control. I was almost never apart from my kids when they were young (though being away more would have been a good thing, in hindsight), so I had a lot of control over their safety.

Story: (speaking of husbands watching them) One evening, when my youngest kids were 1 and 2, I was in the bathroom, and my husband was in the kitchen right by the front door. It became very quiet in our house, but I decided: husband's right there, I won't go check and micromanage, I'll let him watch them. When I came out, I asked him, where are the kids? After searching for them, we found them OUTSIDE, in the middle of the street in the pitch dark. Fortunately, there was some evening construction going on, and the construction workers had been kind of keeping an eye on them, while wondering where in the hell the parents were. The next time I let my husband watch the kids without micromanaging, my daughter was 7 and he took her and a group of other kids to the bathroom in a movie theater during the movie. They all came back, and I kept counting heads for the rest of the movie, noticing that there was one less kid, but I decided not to micromanage, thinking that one kid must be slouching in their seat. Well, at the end of the movie, we find my daughter in the lobby, crying, surrounded by the ushers. My husband had managed to leave my daughter behind.

Moral of the story? You decide. I don't mean to cast any aspersions on your husband. All I can say is I was glad I got to be the stay at home parent, or my kids wouldn't have made it to (almost) adulthood.

But when they're in middle school, they do actually start getting some real independence, and one day you realize you can't control everything. Now THAT's the time to worry. :)

Not psycho (unless all moms are psycho - lol!). That happens to me too. I think all moms do it because of how much we worry and want to take care of everything and keep them safe. I think it is our brain's way of helping us form internal plans of preparedness in case something does happen. It helps us know what to watch out for and what to do in the worst case scenario. We always have to be on our guard and always have to know what to do. So, like another said, unless it is interfering with your normal life or making you be way too protective, then I think it is normal and ok.

Oh my gosh. I am the same exact way. It's totally a mom thing. My thing is strangers..someone taking my daughter. It's so scary. Once, before her Dad and I split up we were at the mall and I was in a store trying on clothes. He was walking around outside the store. When I came out I couldn't find them. I FREAKED out. I literally thought he left with her and stole her from me and I would never see her again. Craziness.

My friend would have dreams of her children getting hurt and she kept them close. She finally told her ob-gyn and they gave her antidpressants which has helped her a lot! I would talk to my doctor and see what they say.

I have the same thing and have my whole life. I agree with the poster who had trauma in childhood, I did to, and am always anticipating the worst. I struggle with anxiety and have recently sought help from a counselor and started taking medication. I think his behavior is common, but not normal when it rules your thoughts constantly. Hopefully you can find a way to manage it! God bless!

I've done it ever since my first daughter was a baby. 25 years of morbid thoughts. It's only gotten worse for me over time. I think it's because we are inundated by the stories in the news of bad things happening. I used these thoughts as ways to be CAREFUL. My mother HATES how I ride her about the things she does. She was looking for a ring she misplaced yesterday and I was very angry with her. She is constantly laying her rings around the house and I've told her at least a hundred times about the chocking hazard. I bring them back to her, put them up high, etc.

Use these feelings to just keep being a good mom. I rid my home and life of every single risk that I can. If a child ever dies because of my neglect or something I could have avoided, I'd never be able to live with myself. These fears are given to us to USE for good. I don't care who things I am a paranoid freak. My kids and my daycare kids won't die in my care if I can humanly help it!