I really just need to vent. Everyone should know that I cook dinner FROM SCRATCH (as in almost no processed foods/canned foods) every night. My husband and daughter have reflux problems and cooking from scratch seems to sit better with both of them. We only eat out maybe 1-2X per month if that so I'm doing this almost every night. So tonight I was making chicken thighs on the grill (I had parcooked them first). I don't usually cook on the grill but it was hot today so I thought I'd get things started before my husband got home. I put the chicken skin side down and was going to go back and check on them in about 10 minutes. The grill was a little too hot and by the time hubby got home and checked them (about 8 minutes in) - they were charred behond all being edible. So hubby comes back inside in a huff and (uncharachteristicaly) is all upset because I burned the chicken. BTW, there was a fresh green salad with homemade dressing, a salad of tomatoes/fresh mozzarella/basi/grilled veggies, & homemade coleslaw as sides so nobody was going to starve. Maybe it just hit me the wrong way but I got bent out of shape for all the wonderful meals I put on the table every night (without ever using a recipe, by the way) that nobody seems to be impressed by. I was really hurt by his behavior and I guess I'm just feeling a little put out over this whole thing. Anyone else ever feel this way?
Thank you all for the support. I was surprised at how upset about this I was. I did calmly (later) try to explain how what he said had hurt my feelings and how I work really hard at shopping, lugging home, unpacking the food, cooking, etc. I told him I felt a little unappreciated. I was not snippy when I told him all this. All he had to say was (with a little tone in his voice) - "I said I was sorry, I don't know what else you want me to do". Ughhh - I should mention that by bedtime he was giving me the "eye". Um, no thank you, sorry (and that's so not like me). Tonight I planned a night out with my 2 sisters (we never do this). I left him a note this morning that said - going out with sisters 2nite, there will be dinner for you and DD. He left me a note that said - you cook all the time, why don't you take a break and I'll take DD out for something? Nope, you can stay home and grill the hamburgers I left and eat the leftover sides. I'll go out and take a break ANOTHER night when I don't feel like cooking. I think he probably realized how upset I was over the whole thing and thus his note but I'm still upset.
To quote my wonderful sister:
"Men! Can't live with 'em. Can't cut 'em up in little pieces & tell people they're on a business trip."
Hug to you-- Dope slap to the hubby.
Yes, been there too. We ate the side dishes I made and if still hungry then a bowl of cereal. I said if anyone wants to complain then they can fold the laundry. LOL, it stopped fast. Big hugs to you!
I threw some corn on the cob into a pot of water, Im steaming some green beans stuff from Trader Joes, and the neighbors went to Costco and picked up a $5 roasted chicken.. How hard am I slaving at the stove..lol.
narrowed eyes.
TOMORROW... serve him tripe and boiled hay.
((That was a recommendation, btw, from a colonial cookbook (c. 1660). That if one's husband was being inappreciative of the meals you were preparing to serve him a steady diet of tripe and boiled hay until his attitude improved. It also strongly recommended letting the other women in the village know so they wouldn't feed him anything else. My response to reading that? (after I read it a few more times to really make sure I'd read what I thought I had read) Go sister! Soul Sister!! and Apparently humanity hasn't changed that much. Too bad there are so many fast food places today. No way to let all of *them* know that hubby is in the doghouse.))
Looks like DH just volunteered to be the family cook! ;-)
I can totally understand your hurt. It's a bummer when our hard work goes unappreciated. I think we all can relate to that in one way or another. I would gently talk to your hubby and let him know he hurt your feelings, that you work very hard making meals from scratch every night and you feel unappreciated by his huffiness, no doubt made worse by the fact that he was hungry for one of your wonderful meals.
We have a rule in our house that the first one to complain about the food gets to wash the dishes. I'm not nearly the kind of cook you are and one night, I oversalted the veggies. My husband took a bite and said "Man! These are salty! . . . but . . . that is just the way I like 'em!" : )
tomorrow night his dinner can be ramen noodles (he can choose chicken or beef) while you have steak :)
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Don't feel bad.
I burn everything and that's why my son cooks all the meat. I'm so worried it won't get done that I cremate it.
My daughter used to say, "I see mom did the grilling. We're having blackened cajun chicken tonight".
I don't know why your husband would get so upset. It sounds like he's not used to you flubbing dinner. My kids practically had a confetti party if I made something that WASN'T burnt.
My ex husband is an excellent cook and he likes it. When we were married, I cooked during the week and he cooked on the weekends. We still laugh about the time he whipped up some concoction that was inedible. It tasted like pool water.
Stuff happens.
I don't think either one of you should hold on to this. Some burnt chicken isn't the end of the world.
Best wishes.
you have my sympathy, I made spagehetti, not from scratch and no big deal but hubby had said he would be home by 6 (foolish me belived him) I i put off dinner by a half hour and of course the kids were starving and whining the whole time. It's 6 pm no hubby, i dish up finally get the kids all settled, one spills their milk, one inhaled everythign and wants more, I finally sit my butt down to eat, he calls to say he is on the way, would i please put his on a plate and heat it up for him. I've wised up at this point and finish eating first, plate his up, heat it up since it's cold by now, He walks in the door ON his cell phone and takes another 5 mins to actually join us, by this time it's cold Again, and the kids are done and ready for baths and bed.. why do i even try.
whenever hubbo complains about a good meal, i get his plate and say ' i'll throw it out for you', then he says 'wai wai wai wait. im still gonna eat it!' i havent heard him complain in a while, even tho i kno the food was a little too salty or dry. lol.
He was probably starving then got pissed off when he saw his dinner burnt.
Cave Men.
Yes!! I was in a pleasant mood tonight, slaving over the stove/oven, changing sheets and entertaining the 1 y/o when Hubby came home and was totally grumpy and rude! It changed my whole mood, then I became grumpy! I feel you. I also have tried cooking on the grill while waiting for hubby and sometimes it doesn't turn out that great for me either! Hang in there...sounds like you are an awesome cook!
grrrrr, is all I have to say.
;(
Stop cooking for a couple days, make sure there is sandwich stuff in the fridge or something healthy like that. Bet they will start appreciating it when they see it's not a right, it's a privilege (haha oh no now I sound like my dad).
You should've said "WHAT!? You don't like Cajun" Hahaha
Who wouldn't feel a little upset. :( I actually messed up dinner tonight so it was veggies and ramon noodles. Nothing fancy and its something my 3 kids love. When my hubbys complains about his dinner he knows better to say anything or its up to him to find his own dinner after coming home from a long day at work.
The heat has a way of frazzling our nerves, and no one likes to feel unappreciated. Not that I could ever go this far, but my Favorite story of all time regarding a dinner snafu was between my sister and my BIL ( her hubby) I am not sure about the details, but I know he made some kind of complaint/snide comment, and she took all of the dinner and put it down the garbage disposal = ) Now as I said...I could never do it myself, but somehow just Thinking about doing it makes me smile.
Hubs may have had a bad day too...I always find it helpful when my feelings are hurt to give myself time to calm down and then later go talk with the person and let them know how I feel...men are not mind readers. I am sure he appreciates you...we all just have bad days from time to time.
If this is uncharacteristic for your husband, I wouldn't get too bent out of shape but I would definitely wait til he's calmed down and tell him in no uncertain terms how unappreciated that made me feel.
There was this story about a mom who cooked a nice meal every night but her family took it for granted, wolfed down their food and showed no appreciation. One night, her husband and kids came to the dinner table to find a pile of hay on each plate. When they asked why there was hay on their plates, the mom answered, "Oh, you noticed", and told them if they didn't appreciate her cooking, she might as well just serve them hay. I read this story to my kids, gave them the raised eyebrow and they got the message. Now they tell me, "Thanks for cooking a delicious dinner, Mom!" almost every night. It's a little bit of a canned response but I think it does get them in the habit of noticing that they have something better than hay on their plates.
Tell him to take his unappreciative butt and make himself from scratch dinner and not burn anything. My goodness!! You are being such an amazing mama for doing such a labor intensive job. From scratch isn't easy!! I know, I tried it for a day and gave up by noon. And I love to cook. Would help if I had a food processor. Keep up the good work, and don't even hesitate to not cook one night because you don't feel like it!
next time tell em, "there are two choices tonight, take it or leave it... " LOL
I saw that on a magnet and thought it was so funny..
If this is the worst thing that has ever happened to you....Mama, count your blessings and tell you husband that from NOW ON, he will be responsible for cooking or getting meals done a few nights each week!
Blessings.....
Yup- I love to cook and make dinner at least 4 nights a week for my family. We do take-out once a week and usually go to a friend's/family party on the weekends, so for the most part it's me cooking.
Once- I mean literally once- I made a dinner that was not good. I don't know what happened, followed the recipe exactly, but it was inedible. My husband made a rude comment about it and as a result he made dinner for the next week. Really? You can do better? OK- go for it! Let me know when you need help- three days later I got an apology.
Man, Im just jealous of you. I burn dinner all the time!! You spoiled him! I would just look at it like he really loves your dinners and was looking forward to it.
My husband is used to me messing it up. :( Could be worse right?
My grandma used to cook dinner every night so one night she asked her husband if he liked the soup she made and he said something to the manner of he was eating it so she got fed up and dumped the hot soup on him. The point of the story is women throughout history have got fed up with cooking and not getting any compliments. Have your husband cool dinner one night and see how he feels when no one gives him compliments. Don't feel bad it happens to the best of us!
hugs! sorry that happened. perhaps his uncharachteristic huff was a trigger for how unappericiated you are. that is incredible that you cook every night for your family and are taking care of there needs. i would talk to your husband about this. if he is understanding and appoligizes then recognizes that you work hard to provide for them then i would back off. if not then i would start the games of not cooking or using canned things.
Nice sides. I don't think using a recipe is bad, though...lol.
Yeah, I wouldn't take it to heart too much, but would look him straight in the eye and say "There's the phone if you want Pizza Hut, there's your keys if you want McDonalds" and continue to plate up the sides for myself and the kids. I've had to say that a few times in 5 years, and it shuts him up every time.
The last time my husband did that was the last time I cooked dinner - when my oldest was 4. :-) He fired me in a fit of temper and I've not cooked a dinner since -- unless he isn't going to be home for dinner, that is.
It seems to me that your husband didn't have his pm snack and might need a handful of almonds in the car on the way home...
That said, talk to him and tell him how you feel. He might have been looking forward to that chicken and was disappointed.
LBC
