I like the kids they are a little wild, but we seem to have fun.I don't want them to think they are the problem. She screams constantly at everyone . She gets even angrier when people walk on eggshells. The craziest thing so far was her screaming for two hours the kids were in the street when they weren't .Then she was yelling at me for flushing the toilet.The toddler slept through it all, but the neighbors called the police on her for screaming.
The husband doesn't like to talk about it.She always has an excuse why she has to scream, she has a headache , she has no friends,she is going thru peri menopause and her boss makes her work by herself because no one will work with her.Her kids like everyone better than her.
I told her I have grown kids , grandkids and have been through menopause. I did tell her to stop using me as a target for her rage or I am gone. I also told her that the reason people avoid her is her terrible attitude.
I rewrote the subject line so it would make more sense sorry. The whole point of me being there is so she can rest when she gets off work so she isn't so angry and we can get the house clean as well. I don't really need to work that much. I was doing it as a favor .
B.
Unfortunately, it's not something you can fix. Like an addict, this W. will want to have to get better and be better in order to change. It sounds like she has a bunch of enablers around her.
I'd start looking for a new job.
I'd also record her temper tantrums. I would then show it to someone in CPS and see what they can do about it.
You can't fix this.
She has problems in every facet of her life - family, work, socially.
She and her husband has to recognize that she has a problem and then want to do something about it.
It sounds like a mental health issue.
She needs a psychiatrist.
Unfortunately the kids will suffer until her husband steps up and insists she get professional help.
Next time she screams at you - quit and leave on the spot.
You really have no power to help this situation.
Maybe you can call CPS so they can do well child checks - I don't know what they will say about a perpetually screaming parent.
It really sounds like she should not be around any kids or anyone else.
B.
YOU don't fix this. She needs professional help and it sounds like she doesn't WANT to get help and she likes the screaming.
Don't make a threat you aren't willing to carry out. That's the worst thing you can do. If she does it again, you need to walk, just like you said you would.
If you can record her outbursts and tiraids? Do so. Then show them to child protective services. Maybe then she will be forced to get the help she needs.
The husband enables her by not addressing the issues.
Good luck. You need to find another job. This one doesn't sound like the right fit for you.
It sounds awful. How much is she there when you are? Are you babysitting while she works at home, and she's home because her boss makes her work alone? If so, you have no option but to look for another job asap. If you are somehow lingering around the house when she gets home, I'd cut that to 5 minutes of transition time and then get out. But if you are hearing her yell for 2 hours, then that's not an option and she must be working at home, right?
I don't know if she's angry, mentally ill, or looking for attention - or all 3 - but you cannot help her or fix her. If you've already told her that she's difficult, you've done all you can. Obviously you cannot use her as a reference, but if the husband will write you a nice one, that would be great. Be careful how you word that, because asking for a reference will tell him your plans, and he may tell her, so the anger will escalate. Maybe you have to save up, quit, ask for a reference, and then start looking. If the older children can read, you might write them each a little note about how you love them but sometimes people get new jobs (closer to home, different hours...whatever you can say to help them know you aren't abandoning them and they haven't caused it, because they hear enough of that as it is). For the toddler and any other pre-readers, you can make a little picture of the 2 of you with a heart on it.
Sorry it's come to this.
You gave her a warning, now if she screams at you again follow through and quit the job. Only return if she promises to shape up and if she fails then be done.
What did the police do when they showed up?
Is she emotionally unstable? Emotionally abusive? I'm not sure I follow.
Do you intend to call child services? I'm not sure what you mean by 'how do I fix this?'.
ETA
You haven't added any information here. If the police were called, surely they handled it. I don't follow your question.
"I told her I have grown kids, grandkids and have been through menopause". Is she abusive? Have mental illness? Why would this be helpful?
How does a toddler sleep through 2 hours of screaming?
Is this is a real post, it's hard to follow.
Please find another job. You should not be working in these conditions. You don’t deserve this. Of course, her children don’t deserve it either, but you can’t help them here.
You can’t fix this. She holds all the cards and you are powerless in your position. The only power you have is to walk away. I’m very sorry.
And to the previous poster who asked what her question is, read her subject line.
I feel sorry for her children. This women is out of control with her crazy screaming. She needs a time out! Her brainstorms are hurting her family and you.
You can always get a blow horn and start screaming back at this banchee.
why is this yours to fix?
why do you think this is even fixable?
your choice is to find a different job, or to learn to shield yourself from her screaming and don't let it upset you.
but i seriously doubt that listing the reasons people don't like her is going to sweeten her up any.
khairete
S.
What is your question?
This is not your problem to fix but hers. Seems like husband has checked out as well and doesn't protect his children from his wife who is nasty to everyone. Would she physical injure the children? If you think that is a possibility, you really should notify CPS.
If the police were called, what was the result from that? If she yells at you, just get your things and walk about the door. Don't say anything. She's been warned. OR buy a whistle. When she starts yelling, blow it as loud as you can. Continue until she stops yelling. That might be fun!
Call CPS, frankly, I am surprised the police has not referred the case to CPS considering they were called over there and witnessed kids being around her temper tantrums.
I already had my answer in my head when I read the title. Quit. There are other people with children out there who need babysitters.
She needs help but you can't personally fix it. Sometimes serious anxiety manifests as anger and sometimes people are just jackapples, but she has to admit that a problem exists first. Her husband has to talk about it. He needs to be the one to insist she gets help. He may have to issue an ultimatum of divorce and seeking full custody of the kids. However, if he is checked out and not going to do his part in protecting the kids, then I say make a CPS report and hope it is a wakeup call.
