Husband Sending Divorce Papers This Week! Where Do I Start? Advice-suggestions

First of all, you need to get a lawyer. NOW! You'll want to work out child support, alimony (if your state allows it), a division of assets, not to mention visitation. Don't try to handle this all on your own. If you don't have a lot of support in R. life, turn to message boards. I'm sure there are lots out there for women in your situation.
You CAN do it! It might not seem like you can, but you can!

Been there, done that, like many of us unfortunately. Here is my outlook: first of all, not only it is OK for you to "do it yourself" (which you'll be forced to do anyway), it is actually GOOD for your self-esteem to see that you CAN actually overcome your fears, have your priorities set and be the STRONG woman that every mother is called to be. My advice: 1) find a good daycare that makes you feel good (or at least less bad...) about leaving your little one) - this one thing will better with time, so swallow your sense of guilt, it will pregressively go away with time- your child WILL BE OK; 2) Find a part time job -6 hours would be best so you don't work 8 long hrs but you can at least earn a little better than a 4 hrs/day part-time job - I found that working full time and trying to do it all, all by myself, when my child was too little, was in the end counter-productive because I was away from my baby too long and I used that extra money for a baby sitter I didn't even want to have; 3) Find a small rental apt in a good area so you'll feel good about moving around at any time of day and night; 4) negotiate a good child support with your ex hubby: he needs to provide for your child (if not for you too, see if you are entitlted to alimony) the SAME lifestyle she had prior to divorce; my advice here is try to decide these things with your husband, it may take some time but lawyers are expensive and you can definitely get more bees with honey than with lemon-drops (if you and him are on good terms of course) - you could just use the attorney for paperworks, that will cut the cost and it's in your hubby best interest too, so he should hear you on this one.
I know it all seem unbearable now. It's normal to feel this way and it will get better, trust me. You need time to adjust to this life-changing event so allow yourself sad-time. But know that pretty soon you'll be so busy juggling move, work, baby, grocery shopping, monthly budgeting etc... that you'll probably won't have time to feel sorry for yourself and that's a GOOD thing. Your husband will carry forever the shame of breaking up the family, you will be that role model that your daugther deserves to have. Not only you'll do fine, you'll do GREAT. Roll up those sleeve and show that little man what's a woman is made of. Chances are he'll regret what he's done in time. And he'll carry the guilt forever.

Do not sign anything with out a lawyer looking the papers over. You can get alimony and support. There is so much you need to look at and go over before signing. I got divorced and had a 4 year old and a 14 month old at the time. You can make it and do great as many moms have done and keep on doing.Hang in there.

Not knowing how long you knew your husband prior to marriage or how long he has been unhappy, I can only say a guy who could walk out on a woman with a 15th month old baby is not much of a man. If he is unwilling to try to work things out you are better rid of him while you child is still a baby.

If your husband has been supporting you as a stay at home mom, the court might order him to continue supporting you and your child until you can get a job. So I wouldn’t rush out to get a job unless it’s absolutely necessary. He may want to be free of you, but he can’t be free of his financial obligations. Go see an attorney now and ask for everything you want, he/she will advise you on what you are most likely to receive. Perhaps you could surprise him and serve him FIRST! Have all support payments sent through the DA's office.

I realize how unhappy you are at this time, but please do your best to take care of yourself. Pamper yourself and try and look your best, especially in front of him. I know you probably don’t feel like eating but it is important that you stay as healthy as possible. Pray, meditate (take a lot of deep breaths) and most of all focus on what is most important, your little girl.

Dry your tears because loving someone who doesn’t love you is a waste of your precious time and energy. I know that is easier said then done, but take baby steps.

Blessings…..

I suggest you start with prayer to God; no one can help you through a problem like God can. Of course, God expects us to do our part, and it seems you have already started on that part by reaching out. I also recommend you make sure you really find out the "R." reason for the divorce. Is it just normal issues of marriage problems that have become exasperated such as who takes out the garbage or is he involved with another women? Obviously, your approach will change depending on correct information. Next, is he willing to talk or negotiate because it doesn't sound like he is? If not, you might write him a short note telling him why you think he should not divorce. For one, maybe both of you should have been thinking more about your child's happiness and less about your own. Since your family is not an option for help, is his family any more reasonable? Also, remind him that the grass is not always greener on the other side; what does he really expect to happen after the divorce? He doesn't care; he just wants to get away from you might be his thought, but reflecting deeper he might consider the emotional and social toll it will take on him and family and friend relationships in addition to his child. And then of course, what is your part in all of this? I think your best hope is to remind him that you love him and your really don't think this decision is best for HIM. How will he feel at work or with family or away from his daughter? And while he is sitting their venting about how horrible his marriage was; who is really going to be there for him after the first conversation with friends? Will he find himself lonelier than expected? You need to show him that his reasons for leaving really won't be a benefit to him, and he will lose terribly in the end and end up with regrets. Hope this advice helps.