Husband Needs Guy Friends

Does he want friends to hang out with? I know many men who don't hang out with anyone. It's his choice. Don't try to fix this for him unless he asks you for help.

What are your interests? I am only about 30 miles south of you and i know it can get difficult to find someone with the same interests to hang out with.

I joined meetup.com and have joined quite a few groups that have the same interests as I do. There is a movie group, a social activities group, a writers group, a paranormal research group, a business networking group, a theater group, moms groups, exercise groups ......... the list is almost endless.

PM me for ideas.

Make sure 'he' wants guy friends. Some guys (myself included) don't need that type of interaction outside of work.
Women tend to need that social element more in their lives, so make sure it's what he wants.
Church is a good place to start. As others have said, any hobbies? interests?

Do you have a newcomers club in your town. We do and it sets up monthly get togethers at restaurants and bars. This may be a great way to get him out of the house and meeting new people.

Not all guys have a real need for buddies the way women do. Heck, many of my married friends husbands are quite happy around their wives female friends.

My 17 year old son has a lot of male friends, but he doesn't "hang out" with them outside of school. He is involved in law enforcement cadet programs in order to go into a career in law enforcement and let's face it, quite a few of the kids he's gone to school with since kindergarten are full on stoners. He doesn't judge them, but he knows he can't get caught around them and mess up his future. He has friends he cares about who've been busted. That's not what he wants for himself.

Friends, acquaintances, and hang-out buddies, are different things.
How about your neighbors? Any couples with kids? Any couple without kids? Any guys who are out puttering in the yard you can introduce yourselves to?

If your husband is shy, you can't force friendships for him. I have lots and lots of friends, but I live a pretty quiet home life. I like it that way. I don't feel like I have to "hang out" with my friends all the time.

I guess it also depends on what a person's definition of "hanging out" really means. It's different for men than women, I'm sure. I'm thinking of the men I know and they have something in common like music and being in a band or tearing things apart and putting them back together. They go hunting or fishing. Or they have sports in common.

Like I said, you can't force friendships and your husband might not need guy friends as much as you think he does. I would start with getting to know your neighbors because you at least have your neighborhood in common. Invite some folks over for a bbq and see how it goes. You mentioned that he's a bit shy, so don't put him in uncomfortable situations and don't try too hard on his behalf. I've found some of my best and lifelong friends quite by accident.

Start close to home and see what happens. In my area, we have all kinds of photography and historical clubs. There's Rotary and the Lion's. Kiwanis. There are Elk's and Moose Lodges. There are lots of volunteer organizations. Is there a Habitat for Humanity near you? Big Brothers/Big Sisters or Mentor programs?

What are his interests? He might be able to think outside the box and find friendships with other men who share the same philosophies of giving back behind the scenes by organizing as opposed to being out front.

Allow him time to think about it on his own terms.
He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do.
If he wants to get involved, he will find a way. If it's not his thing....that's okay too.

Just my opinion and best wishes.

im having that issue not for guy friends J. finding a couple with kids emmy;s age. why not look for parents with kids your kids age and have the kids over to play while you have a few beers with their parents? make a connection that way. double bonus, your kids get to play, and you both get new friends

My husband's buddies have always been the guys he plays basketball and golf with (two different groups.) He met them by going to the gym and the golf course. He also goes to a poker night once a month with some of these guys. But the thing is, these are activities he LIKES to do, it's not like he started playing basketball to make friends. And they may have a beer together after a round and chat for a while, but they don't really makes outside plans, you know? The exception is that sometimes they will make dinner plans and include the wives, which is a lot of fun for all of us :)
Another great way to meet people is to volunteer at your school and in other kid activities, fundraising, working on school projects, coaching, etc. I've made a lot of friends this way, and a lot of dads do these things, too, so you could BOTH start meeting people!

You say you do not attend church. Is it because you are anti-religion or just don't go? If there is not a deep seated reason, then honestly a church group loves married couples. You will both find outlets there.

I was going to say the same thing that Jim touched on. In the past I've often encouraged my husband to make friends and hang out with them, but he's just not interested. He, for whatever reason, just doesn't need friends. He's totally fine not having any. He's close with my brothers, and he and I share some friends, but as far as hanging out, he just doesn't need to. So, I gave up encouraging it. If we have 'couple' friends, they are technically my friends, because I don't expect him to maintain friendships.

What are his interests?
Maybe he could meet people through them?
Does he like Target shooting? My husband has made a few friends through our local 'Sharp Shooting' club.
Is he a nerd/geek? The hobby stores always have things going on?
Bowling club?

Are your kids in school yet? If so, perhaps there is a fathers' group at the school--there is at our school, but my husband doesn't have the time to participate. They do things like poker nights, sporting events, fundraisers, daddy-daughter dances, BBQs, etc.

My husband keeps in contact with friends he grew up with and went to High School with. They get together a couple times a year for a big outing of golf. They touch base throughout the year through email and just b.s. and talk nonsense. It is funny to listen to them...they laugh and really talk about nothing..just movie lines and inside jokes. I love hearing them joke around.

He is a die hard soccer fan and joined a local indoor soccer league that plays year round. He loves hanging out with these guys a couple times a week..but there is no crying on each other's shoulder or deep philosophical chats. Just sweating together, yelling to each other for a pass and then they head home after some high fives and "Good Game!" comments. That is his kind of male bonding.

We go out often with other couples but it is usually because the wives are my friends. He enjoys the outings but doesn't look forward to it like I do.

I think most men aren't needy for conversation and close contact like we are. Women's endorphines rise with conversation..not the same with men. Doesn't mean men don't need friends..but they tend to be content sitting side by side with a guy pal watching a game in silence with some snacks and be totally gratified by that. On the other hand, women usually feel the need to be talking the whole time during that game.

I'd ask your husband if he feels lonely, or has a desire to find some friends. If not then an occasional outing with you and some couples, and then some dates with just you will probably be enough interaction for him.

Take care!!

It's football season - maybe an afternoon at a local sports bar/restaurant might lead to some friendships.

P.S. I don't condone drinking and driving so either you drop him off or he sticks to soda or water. He'd be there for socialization, not alcohol.