Husband a Few Days off from Remembering His Wife Birthdate

How's he doing otherwise? I have always said, "It pays to advertise"....some people have to be educated! If he's a keeper otherwise, I suggest you just let him know in advance what you would like (where you would like to go for special occasions).....That is IF he's doing OK in all other departments.

Blessings...

Well I think it sucks a guy can't remember his wife's birthday. However, I can think of a LOT of things guys could do that suck more!

:(

My husband and I have been together for 13 years, married for 8. He would forget if my son didn't remind him. I didn't marry him for his fantastic memory, so it doesn't bother me.

Low expectations = fewer disappointments :D

oh dear. i have been with my husband over 10 years. last year he still asked me, "what's your birthday again?" he knew it was coming up (he was about a month away). i didn't even blink. at least he bothered to ask. it doesn't have anything to do with how he feels about me.

My Hubby never remembers my birthday, our Anniversary, Mother's Day or anything else.
What... fun.

I have been married to him, for 14 years.

AND he can't even remember, when trash day is either! Even if it is on the same days every darn week.

I would feel like I'm not reminding him enough. ;-)

my dad thinks my birthday is the 30th when it's the 29th. I don't really care that much. I always think our anniversary is the 23rd instead of 24th. Some people just aren't good with dates. I probably wouldn't remember my husband's if it wasn't Sept. 11.

Mine forgets his own birthday (Not his birthdate, but when the day arrives it does not occur to him.), so I can't be mad.

If he was asked the date out of the blue and was off a few days, that would hurt my feelings. But if he actually missed my birthday and didn't do anything, that's my fault. I don't see why women don't start reminding their husband 2 weeks before ANYTHING...birthday, anniversary, holiday, Mom's day, etc. Say "hey, my bday is a week from Friday and I want ____ and I want to eat at ____". Then there should be no hurt feelings and I think the husband would be happy to know he doens't have to stress about not forgetting or getting you something you hate! Good luck!

I'd say join the crowd.

I can't even remember my sons birthday. I always have to ask my husband, is it the 24th or 26th?

In my family, I'm the one who can't remember special dates. It's not something I set out to do wrong, and in fact I go to some pains putting dates on two different new calendars each year. But that doesn't guarantee I'll know for sure which week I'm in. I've even forgotten my own birthday a few times, and my anniversary once.

Some people just don't connect with calendars. But I try to let the special people in my life know every day how much I appreciate them. If you have good reasons to be glad you're married to your husband, I wouldn't make a big issue out of a birthday.

I can't even remember how old I am anymore, so I guess I can't be mad. Honestly I talk about upcoming bdays and anniversaries and the plans so much that I don't think he could forget if he tried.

just remind him....i'm sure he has other good qualities

My husband and I are having our 5th wedding anniversary tomorrow. Yay! He came home from work on Monday with my anniversary gift, seriously thinking it was our anniversary.

The way I look at it, he remembered, he got me a gift, he loves me, he cared about acknowledging the special day. What's a few days?

I remember two birthdays - my son's and my sisters.
Everyone else, I usually get the correct month - but don't know the day.
My friends and family understand that it is not because I do not care, I just am no darn good with dates.

Just gently remind him, and tell him you expect an extra special gift.

:)

The date we originally set for our wedding was my husband's birthday.
He really wanted that day so he could be sure never to forget an anniversary.
His dad had to have emergency surgery so the date was set back a couple of weeks, but he had the right idea.
Men remember things differently.
He never forgot his mother because her birthday was the day after his. He never forgot MY mother because her birthday was the day after his brother's. He never forgot my daughter's because it was the day before Halloween. He never forgot mine because it's right before Christmas.
Sometimes men remember better if they have a "landmark" to associate it with.

If your husband is good and caring in every other way, I wouldn't be too upset about it. Some people, even women, are terrible about dates.
Maybe for HIS birthday, you should get him a nice calendar and go through and mark all the important dates, including your birthday, before giving it to him.
I know it would be a gift if someone would do that for me.
I'm pretty good at remembering, but I have to rely on my memory because I never get around to doing the organized calendar thing other than at work.
Calendaring everyday and every shift of other people's lives burns me out on doing it at home.

Just an idea.
Best wishes.

My dad forgets my birthday , has every year for the past 10 yrs , since I moved out. And he was THERE for it. He was the first one to hold me.
I'd give him some slack.

well, I always mix his up between the 3rd or the 6th and don't even ask me the year so I cut him some slack :-)

They never remember.
In their defense, not their fault as they are the lesser being. Ha ha
Just kidding.
Mine has to be reminded or he asks. He finally started remembering but
only because his daughter's bday is exactly a week after mine.
I have no problem reminding him. Why set myself up for disappointment.
I put it on the calendar, write a sticky note in his lunch, remind him a week before etc .
All for fun. He just asked me to email him what I want. Ha ha.
Men can't help it. I don't care. I've always done for myself for my bday just so I can have fun: buy myself cheap flowers at the groc store etc.

Our anniversary is next week...and today someone said "how long have you been married Mel?"...I had to sit and do the math!

I can remember his, mine and the kids...and anyone I've known for more than 10 years. But if I've known you less than that, and do not have a specific memory attached to a birthday I spent with you...I am screwed...no way will I remember. I've got Google Calendar, I've got my iPhone...I have list store on the computer...and I still forget.

I actually thank goodness for Facebook...I signed up for the weekly email of "you have this many friends with birthdays this week"...I take a quick peek and see if anyone super important is on there...if so then I know I at least have one day to focus.

I am terrible with birthdays. SO, because I am so awful, I remind my husband of my birthday a couple weeks before... so he starts thinking about it. He hasn't ever forgotten my birthday, but I don't always get a gift (boohoo I know)... money is tight so our presents don't usually come on the date they were meant for.... I haven't gotten a birthday gift yet and my birthday was in july! I guess when I get it, it will be a pretty darn good one! (we did celebrate my birthday, so I got a pie and he cooked me a nice dinner).

So, advice? Remind him of your birthday a few days before...

-M.

He actually argued with me this year thinking it was another day. I had to correct him, it was his old girlfriend's birthday (Jan. 16th)!

My little sister and my MOM can't get it right. You figure it out

Me Jan. 19th
Little sister Jan. 20th
BIL Jan. 20th
Middle sister Feb. 18th

Frustrating.

My husband does have a hard time remembering mine and we've been together for almost 6 years. I tell him the easiest way to remember is that my birthday is two days after the 4th of July. What my husband does is he puts all birthdays in his phone to where it goes off on the day with an alarm as a reminder. I have a hard time remember my dad's birthday and my brother's birthday if I didn't have it in my phone. I wouldn't make it a big issue of him not remembering on the day.

If he remembers, but is just off of the date by a few days, you might just consider that you are more fortunate than a lot of women whose guys don't remember at all!

My husband doesnt remember my birthday. So I buy myself a present every year.

I hear ya!!
My ex (wonders why he's an ex) didn't remember my birthday which is Christmas eve -- then Christmas day then our wedding anniversary Jan 4, if I got 2-3 gifts in the almost 6 yrs we were married I was lucky. Forget about Valentines day or Mother's day or any other holiday, I just wasn't important enough to remember.
The funny thing is I still (30 years after the divorce) remember his and all of his siblings and their spouses birthdays and will remind my kids. I never forget a birthday and always contact my friends to say happy birthday.
Try leaving him a note or email a couple of days before your birthday to remind him.

I personally think we are way too forgiving about men forgetting important dates. We are supposed to be important to them, they should remember birthdays and anniversaries. They also should respect the fact that most women like to be remembered on Valentines and Mother's day and while they are nice a box of candy or a vase of flowers sometimes just isn't enough.

Took mine forever and one year he forgot completely (and don't get me started on that ... I was NOT happy when he asked what I was fixing for dinner that night).

my dad doesnt remember my moms after 25 yrs of marriage. on the other hand i oftern forget how old I am (I am often a yr behind lol) and my husband has to remind me.

I think it took mine about 7 years to know my birthdate for sure. I was never offended as Valentine's is 2 weeks before. As long as your relationship is great, why make a big deal. Yes birthdays are special but the older I get, sometimes I would rather just pass on the celebrating;>)

So, this is one of those situations where the thought, the present, acknowledgement etc. matters more than the actual date it was given. Especially if it was just a few days and not an entire week or month later (ha, ha)! I am really good with dates and remembering special occasions and do my best to acknowledge my kids, extended family members, co-workers, whoever. However, within my family we don't always celebrate on the day of, but the week of or even month of. That way, someone feels special all month instead of just for a day. It works well. I am forgiving of others if they don't acknowledge my Birthday or remember but I have been very fortunate to have never had my Birthday forgotten. My husband told me his own Mom forgot his all the time and I think that's why it's such a big deal for him to spoil our kids a bit on their Birthdays.

Does he do anything, I mean ANYTHING, in celebration of your birthday as if he cares in spite of his fuzzy memory? If yes, then you're one up on me! My birthday is around the corner (the 15th) and I'm so down in the dumps because I know I'm going to have to endure another year of flat-line birthday. When I ask him to do something he tells me he'd love to but we're broke...so no card, no teaching our boys that birthdays are special days, no nothin' special!
He doesn't do anything for our anniversary either. We were married on 5-5-05...he knows when it is, he just doesn't do anything. :(

My husband is terrible with dates. We got married on my birthday purposely so he wont forget ;)

Being that my husband can never remember anyone's birthday EXCEPT for mine, I would be very upset and offended. BUT, he has always remembered my birthday since we were dating. My birthday didn't come back around for about 9 months after we started dating... so he had a lot of months to figure it out (and a good friend of mine to remind him). And he has never missed it since. Nor our anniversary. He takes these things very personally and makes a big deal out of them. He would be CRUSHED if I forgot his or was late remembering, and he feels the same about celebrating mine. As far as anyone else's..... not a big deal to him. He isn't married to them. Just the way he is.
That said, if he had never gotten my birthday right and it was always almost forgotten or late, then I would probably start hinting in advance (to help him out) or use a bright red pen to circle the date on a calendar in an obvious location. OR, if there was a lot of stress/chaos going on unexpectedly for some reason (someone died or was stricken with something catastrophic or a storm took out our house or something)... then I would cut him some slack if it was a one time deal.
Has he EVER remembered your birthday?

Well I have been married to my man for 5 yrs, so I just asked him mine and he got it right ;) But I thought he was going to get it wrong bc he used to always think it was 2 days later than it is, guess he finally got it! It never bothered me. I mean, he wasn't there when I was born, so I didn't mind reminding him a little before. I used to quiz him when the month rolled around to make sure he knew the right day ;) We have a birthday blitz in June and July so it's a wonder any of us can remember all the bdays. I don't think it is a biggie personally, but then I have never minded telling him the day or what I want for the day ;)

Men aren't good with remembering dates because we don't expect them to be. If they spent as much time trying to remember them as some women did, they'd remember them too. Now I know that some people, regardless of gender aren't good with dates, but to say that men in general just aren't good with dates, like it's something genetic just isn't true. I would be pissed if my husband didn't remember my birthday. It's an important date, commit it to memory, plain and simple.

Mine remembers his and 1 of the kids out of 5 of them. He doesn't remember his parents, mine, the others kids, his siblings, friends... nobody. He has it down to a couple of days but the exact date nope. Not till I remind him.

As much as the specific date sometimes should stick in a person's head, the fact that he still remembers is what I would be looking at. You can always give him a polite reminder like "Oh thank you honey but we are about a day/week ahead so this is prebirthday present right?" Then he can always get another present or something on the exact day and you get more than one gift.
BUT in my mind if he is only off a few days - enjoy the fact that at least he does remember whether the exact day or not. It is when he totally misses it or is off a month here or a month there and doesn't seem to give a darn that you should be asking for advice.
I wish I had a boyfriend/husband that remembered anything about the person he had been with.
Good luck!

My husband is pretty good at remembering my birthday, ann, our daughters bday, and his fathers bday (it is the same day as his so he can't forget his fathers). He does forget his mother and brother and doesn't know what year I was born. And he does know that we go in Sept 30th for the birth of our second child.
I always have to remind him of his mother and brothers bday. So I can't complain. He is the one that brought up our 8 yr anniversary this Tuesday the 13th. I think that it makes it easy for him to remember my birthday cause it is Cinco de Mayo.
I would be alittle upset if he didn't remember these dates. But I do cut him some slack with certain things cause we have been so busy lately with getting ready for the baby and he has been working alot of OT lately that he is so tired. I make sure that every month I right everything on the calendar so all he has to do is look at it and knows whats going on.
Just keep reminding him he will get it eventually. Best of luck!

Sorry, this is going to be harsh, but if he's not smart enough to sneak a peak at your drivers license to get it right....then he's in BIG TROUBLE. It's not about it being the date, it's about caring enough to know that's a special day for you and to celebrate and acknowledge it for you. Men get away with too much, it's time they start to be accountable.

I am lucky that my birthday is a holiday so I've never had to run into this problem...but it irks me to the core about men who do it.

-K.

I have been married for almost 13 years. We got married on May 22. My husband still thinks every year that it was the 20th.

I think you should help him remember. I'm terrible with birthdates...and I'm the wife. And my husband is soooo sad by my forgetfulness.

My No. 1 worry when my first daughter was born....was IF I would remember her birthday every year???

I'm having our anniversary date engraved into our rings...I just learned that from someone this summer and thought why didn't the jeweler recommend that one to us???

I really want to remember, and I'll think about it the week or 2 before, but I just don't quite get my act together to pull it all together for him. I have improved immensely for him because it's important. I have spent many birthday's shopping the day of.

I recommend you put it on his calendar, the family calendar and make a BIG deal out of remembering everyone's birthday's, the kids, his, yours, his parents, siblings, etc. Then everyone his happy and he might start to enjoy the preparation rather than dread it.

Some people are just not good with dates. I'm not. OF COURSE I remember my kids birthdays, and my husbands because it is an easy date to remember (4/24,74). BUT - beyond that, all bets are off. If I get a card to you within your birthday week you are lucky.

I say, give him a break. If it is really important to you, make sure he remembers.

J.

I never give him a chance as I always remind him jokingly like for a week when my birthday is coming up! He now calls it my "Birthday week"!!! Same with my kids!!

Don't get your feelings hurt just remind him ALOT!! :)))))

My husband is really, really, really bad with all that stuff, or so he says. But I'm still like a kid about a few times of the year. My anniversary, meh, we're happy and married so that's all good in my mind. But I LOVE birthdays so I wouldn't accept that answer. I just started quizzing him at every relatable opportunity. Like, oh, your mom's birthday is next week, by the way, when's mine? He knew the questions were coming and actually welcomed the "game" and now he's got it down pat. Poor guy's completely forgotten the extended family's holidays but he gets mine, and the kids, so we work together to stay on top of everyone else's.

Also, we use Cozi on our smart phones (it does have a website too) to keep the whole family together. He can add and check it on his phone, same on mine, and at the beginning of the week it automatically emails us both the weekly calendar. We're not having nearly as many ...ahem...discussions...about remembering events for the week now.

I would be annoyed...but I grew up with a DAD who couldnt remember my birthday! Btw, my dad is like my best friend and we are super close...he is just TERRIBLE at remembering dates, important or not!

I would just remind my hubby a few days before....write it on the calendar...set it on his phone so an alarm goes off lol...anything.

Be proactive!!

1. Family Calendar. I just add all important events to it (my birthday and our anniversary definitely qualify). We have a big 3 month write on one and post it in the entry. It's ugly, but it's practical.

2. Plan ahead. I say, "Do you want me to hire a sitter for this Thursday so we can go out to dinner for my birthday, or did you have another idea?"

Hope you try these out!

There are some people forget the current date, even though they remember the birthday, just ask what's the date today and if he knows the date, I think he is not giving enough attention towards your feeling, when a person in a very busy and depressed situation also this can be happened.

If he can't remember, he ought to write it down in his calendar, put it in his blackberry, a reminder on his Outlook calendar, whatever. It ought to be important enough to him to remember your birthday.
My husband knows my birthday, knows how old I am , but if he has to fill out paperwork that includes my date of birth, the year is always two years off (and NOT in my favor, LOL). I think he gets confused by knowing that we are 5 years apart in age, but he mixes it up into thinking that the year of my birth ends with a "5" and not a "7". Doesn't bother me.

I actually hold my husband to high standards and expect him to remember without fail the day He chose for us to get married, my birthday and our kids birthdays. I like to think I we are important enough in his mind and heart for him to remember these few dates out of an entire year.
There are other things that he isn't good about remembering that don't bother me so much, like miscellaneous events-, school events, church functions, etc. and I'll just regularly remind him of those things.
But I swear if he asks me where his wallet is one more time, I'm gonna wring his neck! :-)

It is insensitive for him to not bother to commit the date to memory, or to set up safeguards/reminders. Hopefully he makes up for it by being exceptionally sensitive in other ways. None of us are perfect, that's for sure.

HOw about 20 years? He cant get the date and month right 99 oercent of the time