My fiance knows a ton about computers, and this woman who he has known for 20+ years (but is not in constant contact with) asked him out of the blue to back up her computer and restore it to factory settings. I am completely computer illiterate and even I can do this by myself... out of all the people she knows in the entire world (Best Buys Geek Squad included), she asks HIM to do this... and even though she doesn't work, she keeps trying to set up a time well after dinner time for him to go over and meet her. I trust HIM, but I have a red flag going up in my gut about HER. I told him this and he said I was being silly (and maybe I am), and then he asked her to schedule it for mid-day because that's when he's available, and he's invited me to go along. I don't really feel like I have to go, but because of this feeling I'm getting about HER, I do kinda want to go (but not really)... does that make sense? I know I don't have to babysit him, I just have this FEELING about HER. How would you feel in this situation? What would you do? I have zero problem with him going over there by himself, I trust him and he's never given me any reason not to... it's just... her. Out of all the people in the world, why does MY guy have to do this? Why can't her hubby do it? Why can't she do it herself?
HAHA, I think that's why I want to go, so if she IS wearing heels and a teddy, I can kick her @ss, LOL!! I'm only half serious... I like what Grandma T said about 'not wanting to build that wall'... I don't know... just wanted some outside opinions I guess.
"I have zero problem with him going over there by himself, I trust him and he's never given me any reason not to... it's just... her."
If it's her--he won't do anything wrong no matter what! Without trust--all is lost. Takes two to tango. Hope she's paying him!
I've had computers for years and dont know how to do the back up procedure to get it back to factory condition and I doubt many of us do.
If you trust him you should have no problem with it. I think the midday schedule seems fair. It sounds like you are jealous or not as trusting as you wish you were. Make up your mind. Go with him, or tell him you arent comfortable with him going and deal with the consequences of being told you are insecure. You say you trust him about 4 times in your post but I think you are just trying to convince yourself that you do. She's married, so what's the problem? Even tho you dont want to show him that you dont trust him you are doing the total opposite. Next time he wont tell you when he's doing something like this, that is not the wall you want to build.
I say, if you trust your husband then don't worry.
But at the same time, most of the time you get gut feelings you're probably actually on to something.
If you are that worried, and your hubby doesn't care, go with him.
My hubby is a computer tech also. He can also suggest her dropping off her computer at your house. And he can fix it from there without her around.
I would go with him... Heck, go ahead and set up the time after dinner. Then go all dressed up, and make it obvious that you are stopping by to do this real quick on your way out on a date. ;) Let him do what needs to be done, then head off to a movie or something. lol.
Not all hubbies are tech saavy. Mine is and people always call out of the blue for help. If she has known him for 20 yrs and knows he is knowledgeable and probably doesn't want to pay "geek squad" fees , she calls your fiance. This not totally out of the realm of a normal request. You said you trust your guy. Have him schedule mid afternoon, although night time I'd think her hubs would be home and forget about it, at least till you fiance comes home and you quiz him. Jealousy can be attractive to your fiance as it makes him feel wanted, insecurity is just unattractive. Be cool your man loves you!
I could totally be this woman. I'm completely computer illiterate. Also, my husband is an IT whiz. If I were not his wife and I had been friends with him forever, I would ask him if he wouldn't mind coming to fix my computer without having any ulterior motive except for maybe cheap or free labor (I would offer pizza, wings, or beer...again not trying to get him drunk but hey, he's a man and might appreciate a 12 pack).
I'd be leery of the Best Buy Geek Squad because they'd probably try to sell me something I didn't need or take advantage of the fact that I don't know squat about computers and try to tell me I need this service and that service and pretty soon my bill is sky high.
I think you're being oversensitive. Maybe her hubby can't do it because he's computer illiterate too. And, if they're friends it seems like it would be normal and natural to ask a friend for help. She just probably wants to make sure her computer works so she can surf the internet and save her pictures as opposed to thinking of seducing him at her lair and then jumping his bones.
What would I do? If my husband, an IT whiz, had a female friend ask for help with her computer I wouldn't even think twice about it...unless she worked at a strip club and wanted him to meet her there (I kid.).
Maybe she's trying to avoid paying for the service, and she's known your guy forever, so she didn't think anything of asking. And maybe she asked him for after dinner because she knows that he works during the day and thought it might be tough to accomodate.
Honestly, those are the first things that come to my mind. It sounds like your husband is rock solid, and she HAS to know that if she's known him for that long. So I wouldn't think that out of the blue she's trying to lure him into her love den. :)
I wouldn't go with him, even though he's invited you (which is awesome of him, BTW). You'd look very silly and insecure. I think you're over reacting and a bit jealous over what, on the surface, seems to be nothing.
If you really trust him then there's no issue. She can do her best to seduce him (or whatever) and he'll say no. You can't control her actions. If she answers the door in a teddy and heels, that's her issue not yours or your husbands. You have to trust that he would close the door and walk away. If you don't like the situation, go with him. She should get the hint.
I know what you're saying.... My husband worked with this woman who made me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. I'm not at all a jealous person and have never had a problem with women... until her. I told him that for some reason I was just not okay with her. He listened and said that he just really didn't see what I was seeing, but he would pay more attention next time she was around. Wellll guess what, he saw it! He came home and said "I think you're right!!" Just knowing that he saw that she had "other" ideas made me feel much better. I was glad that I told him what my gut feeling was.
The moral of the story is: make him aware. And stop worrying. If you trust him as much as you say you do then he'll notice if there's a problem and he'll tell you "I think you were right!"
ASK when her husband is home. We don't know: is she asking for him to come in the evenings because that's when her husband is home from work, or is she specifically asking for a time when noone is home?
My guy friends don't come here to visit if noone else is home, and he doesn't visit his female friends alone either. It's not just about "what they may do" but more about avoiding even the appearance of something wrong. Why make the question even come up? Why give the neighbors something to gossip about and make the rounds? We both have friends of the opposite sex. They come around to see the family, and vice versa. It's no big deal at all, done in the right situations.
And for the record, I don't even know what you're talking about with factory settings or whatever. But it's great that he invited you to come along. Perhaps it could be a "hey, this is an old friend from ___.....meet my wife!"
Why don't YOU go over and fix it for her. You said you know how. It might help her to learn and you won't have to worry about her motives, if there are any.
It's entirely possible that she is trying to be respectful of his work hours and wants her husband there to see how to do this so they don't have to ask your fiance again. Those services you mentioned cost money and it's possible that the last time your husband talked with her (even a few years ago), he mentioned "if you ever need help, give me a call".
I would let this go... unless she has been inappropriate with him at some point or they had a relationship in the past. Even then, I would just send him on his way and trust him to make good choices.
I think he should also say, "I can be there for x time" and leave (or take the computer) if it takes longer. My nephew was here for a very long time once trying to fix our computers. My DH is pretty computer literate but the whole process was something he didn't have time for.
He could alternately say, "Bring it by here on x day and I'll return it" or vice versa. That way he can work on it at your house.
If I were asking a friend to help with my computer, I'd ask for nighttime figuring he (or she) works during the day. He could also suggest a weekend, but I think you'd have the same questions.
I agree that you need to trust him. If you don't trust him to fix someone's computer like he says he will, then you and he have bigger issues than what she answers the door wearing.
My husband does IT and tons of people have asked for his help. I have only had one person who asked for IT help that I did not appreciate, and yes, the late night calls were awkward, but nothing ever happened with her. But I continued to have doubts and so my husband just pulled back from her. My husband and I DO have a history of unfaithfulness, well, he was before we were married I found out after and it occassionally pops back up to rear it's ugly head when I go digging - any who. If you are getting bad feelings about her, I always say that's when it has to be a no. I would just ask him not to go.
My husband knows how to do all this stuff, but there's not enough hours in the day for him to be doing favors for everyone.
He either refers them to someone else who might be inclined to help or refers them to a 'How to <do what ever> For Dummies' book.
There are too many cheap people out there who want no cost desk top/laptop support. The prices are so low on some laptops it's almost worth it for them to shop around a little and buy a new one.
