How Well Do You Deal with Little Disappointments in Life??

Over time, I have come to realize that I have a LOT to be thankful for. Choosing to focus on what I do have instead of being upset over poor circumstances (which are only temporary in most situations) are just that... bad timing. A bummer, but we have to move on.:)

I've experienced similar feelings and have learned a lot about energy awareness with the help of a counselor who specializes in this field. The first step is accepting where you are in that moment energetically and then transmuting that energy. Doing this clears the negative energy and allows logic to come in. You really feel a shift emotionally and find that what was originally troubling or upsetting you is no longer bothersome, or us at least more tolerable. The technique you use is called EFT or emotional Freedom Technique. I believe you can google this and read up on it. It's not for everyone, you have to start with a basic belief that positive and negative energies flow within us and through us. But it just might be something that helps you as it does M..

hello
A long time ago, NO, I couldn't just shrug things off and every now and then still have a difficult time. However, compared to how I used to feel if plans fell through, I am doing so much better..
I got over the small stuff by constantly taking the time to analyze and ask myself, is this situation worth getting upset over OR should I just move on... For years, I tried to control the outcome of things and planned far in advance (this way no one cancel or say they had other plans) then........ I slowly began to let go... as I began to see that I was wasting a ton of time of things for which I have no control over, I begin to loosen my grip...
try and do it with the smallest of things.. like say a play date or night out with friends... if someone must cancel, then tell yourself... hey, I am NO control over them canceling.....
notice how you feel.. at first you will find yourself obsessing and fighting the urge to move on to a new thought, but with practice (mind-training) it can be done..

I will give you an example in my life. Christmas is usually held at my house...(and I happily welcome and look forward to it)
This year... my husband's uncle has been too ill to get out much, therefore, it was decided that we'd go and have Christmas at the senior residence where he lives... mind you, although the people are quite nice, let's face it.. it isn't like home, and nor is the food, which was pretty bad..
However, we did it anyway.. instead of begrudging the situation, I went with the flow... by doing as such, we wrapped up Christmas early, had no dishes or house to clean up afterwards and got to leave one day early for our vacation roadtrip...
our cousin's also got to go to a basketball game.. everyone ended up happy..

what's fun is when you turn over the things that you have no control over, you find you have more energy... and don't be surprised too that when one plan falls through, another plan may open up and be more fun...
the element of surprise can be rather fun if you allow it..

good luck

It depends on what it is. Losing my gloves in the store...bummer, but I buy more. Not being able to see my grandma due to illness...that's harder to get past. If you need to mourn the loss of whatever, then take a few minutes to do that. Some of us need to process. Just try not to dwell.

Happiness is a choice.
Choose to be happy!

I went to the senior prom with my date.
We walked in, had our picture taken and 5 minutes later he stepped on the hem of my dress as we were going down stairs and the outer layer ripped badly right up the front seam.
My date just about DIED he was SO SORRY.
I had a choice.
I could have thrown a hissy fit over an accident and demand to go home.
Instead I went the the ladies room and ripped the seam up the rest of the way up to my waist (the edges were a little rough but it looked ok) and then went on to have a great time and a wonderful evening.

You just have to roll with what Fate pitches at you and make the best of it!

I suggest you start a gratitude journal. Each day list 5 things for which you're grateful. This will help you focus on the good things iin your life and Iin a short time you will be happier.

Yes mourn what you've lost. Set a short period of time to do that; then conciously think about life being good. At first this is difficult. You'll develop self discipline and looking at the bright side will come naturally.

Disapline can't spell it and spell checker let M. down.

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Ha, we laugh at the fact that things do not tend to go smoothly for us.

Vacations end up as Lampoon Vacations. There will always be a disaster.. But we end up with great stories.

Life is not perfect. It is messy and unpredictable, and so we are like Tress, we bend and catch the next wind.

I have learned that if "I" have done "My" best with best intentions, I have no regrets with the things that are out of my control..

Heck at least you are getting some time off, a chance at a vacation.

We have gone on camping trips were there was a flood another time we were one of less than 5 families in a State Park, because everything FROZE! But we had taken games, had lots of hot chocolate and ended up having a blast in our tiny trailer.

Car fell apart before one of our big trips, so we had to cancel. We did not tell a soul and stayed home and had fun "hiding out".

And then there are the Events that I have planned that did not end up as glamorous as I may have envisioned, but the fact that we all had such a good time, being barefoot and eating a lot of pigs in a blanket and drinking champagne, was a party we will not forget and friends still talk about.

The anniversary cake without the fresh flowers that were planned so a decorated Headband, did the trick.

I just roll my eyes and think, well of course this is how it was going to end up This is an "A" Family event. We will never be like the "Normals"..

I have chronic health issues so I can't make plans the way that I used to and it has forced M. to deal with these types of minor disappointments more often. I am more likely to make what I call a "low-impact backup plan" in advance. For example, I wanted to take my daughter sledding, but I didn't feel well-enough to climb the big hill, so we built a snow fort instead. Having something else I enjoy doing ready just in case, makes it easier to handle the let down.

Sometimes this can be in relation to your past. For instance, I take things really well in stride. I can "snap out of it" and "get over it" for just about anything. No upset, no grudges if someone else blew it. I do have some other weird hang-ups though, like SUPER REGRETTING when I miss catching a great photo opportunity...or video...my daughter played happy birthday at my grandma's 90h, and I didn't get my camera going in time, I STILL GET MAD ABOUT IT!!!

But anyway, as for life events where I have to adjust to what's happening and keep a good attitude, I can do that. Partially because I'm into the whole zen thing, practice a lot of yoga, studied a lot of "letting things go", forgiveness and being in the moment. I'm usually the one who can take a sucky situation, turn it around, and make it fun.

I honestly think it's because I had a pretty difficult past. Strict parents. Not much money. We had to "suck it up" most of the time regarding disappointments. Then my 20's were really tough. Living hand to mouth. Almost never getting to do the fun things other people got to do. Then I had a really difficult career that wasn't super rewarding. Lots of botched plans and hard times and no one to sympathize.it was very difficult to support myself..then some big traumatic experiences within my now defunct marriage and some other massively stressful stuff...through it all I always had my close friends with similar senses of humor to mine so we could laugh at everything-the worse the situation, the funnier sometimes! I find most of the people I know who are super funny and super resilient have gone through very hard things. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying so to speak.

For things like not getting to do fun vacations and stuff..Who DOES GET TO??!!! Just joking. I guess that could be frustrating...if I ever did have a big fun plan-which I hardly ever do...

I've noticed in friends with backgrounds similar to mine where they had sketchy living situations and adversity...they are more easy going. My one friend is like M., we're happy whatever does or doesn't happen and enjoy the simple things. Her mom raised her brother and her like gypsies and they never had a nice, stable and comfortable routine to depend on.

Whereas some of my more "comfortable friends" who have really nice, secure relationships and nice pleasant lives and schedules...and always have, will FREAK OUT when little things don't go their way. My one friend is STILL angry she missed out on a trip with her girlfriends a year ago, and she does fun stuff all the time. I missed my best friend's tropical location birthday for her 50th birthday because I couldn't afford to go. She and my other friends-we've all been friends for over 20 years-all went and they had a BLAST!!!! Was I sad or jealous? No. I couldn't go. She's still my best friend and we'll make up for it.

So I don't know. Are you a generally comfortable person so these things are traumatic in proportion to your norm? Or am I way off base and you've had a tough time of things in your past so now all you want is a little comfort and fun and predictability? Or maybe it's just your nature to take disappointments really hard.

Either way I think it's natural to feel disappointed. You can grieve and bounce back at your own pace. If you want to let go of things better I have enjoyed books like "A New Earth" and "The Untethered Soul". There are a lot of other resources too for centering and being grateful and at peace with things.

I too struggle with things not going as planned. For M. it isn't so much about disappointment as it is about M. having a hard time being adaptable. I can be a very easy going person, but if I have something planned out, then I don't deal well when the plan falls apart. It does stress M. out. I'm not sure I'd say I get sad about it, but I do get grumpy ;-)

In the lst few years, I've gotten better at adapting quickly. Now I just try to focus on the positive: oh we can't go the beach, but we can spend the day in our Pjs watching movies! That sort of thing. I've also been meditating more and trying to let go of the ego's need for control. It helps.

I think it depends on how your stress is in the first place.

We do camping weekends over the summer, one family visit to TN in Oct and one family visit in FL in March.. so if our weather is not perfect for them, we truly just deal. In both situations 1/2 the time the weather is nice 70s... the other half it could be in the 50 or lower.. we just roll with it.

I think it might boil down to how happy you are with life in general. If you are enjoying the every day, I would think this stuff can be shrugged off prettly well. On the other hand , if this is all you have to look foward to.. well, then I can see an extended time of sadness for the event.

I have certianly had my share of.. Well I thought I was doing that, and well this or that happened. I have resolved for now, nothing is promised all it tenative until we arrive. ..

If everything seems to be hard to get over then you may be suffering from depression. Some of us just make more of the happiness hormones in our brains than others, and no amount of "happy thoughts" are going to change your outlook if this is the case. It might be helpful to talk with a therapist about your state of mind. Anxiety feeds into depressions and you may find that some mild anti-anxiety meds for a short while may be all you need to see the sunny side of things again (or anti-depressants). I would check with your insurance which mental health providers are covered and make an appointment. It would be a good idea to get an educated opinion about what is going on.

You have to develop a strategy for rolling with the punches and a mindset that allows you to bounce back. What you described seems like everyday life situations, which you can't always predict or know how they will turn out. Everything should not impact you this way. Do you only focus on the failures and disappointments? That alone is enough to make you depressed, which you could be and not know it. I've lost my cool over a few things that when I look back - was my choosing to respond badly to something that was not serious by any means. Think about these things that have sent you off the rails and ponder how you could have or wish you had responded differently. You have to retrain your way of thinking. This can be challenging and some things may stick with you a few days, but everything shouldn't fall into this category. Good luck.

To prevent your kids from getting sick before a party, vacation, etc: make sure they get plenty of sleep every night (especially before a party or vacation, etc), make sure you give them vitamins, vitamin D supplements, fruit/veggie supplements, and probiotics on a daily basis. Also, 2 weeks before a big event, such as a vacation, give them Echinacea (they make it for kids and adults). Echinacea can be taken every day over a 2 week period. Then you stop for a while. It improves the immune system.

Also, don't plan a vacation in the winter, since you live in Chicago and there can always be a snowstorm. If you do a summer vacation, if it happens to be the Caribbean, the only place you should travel to in the Caribbean over the summer is Aruba, b/c Aruba has a significantly less chance of having a hurricane than the rest of the islands. Aruba is considered safe from hurricanes - even in the summer. So, don't plan a cruise in the summer, either.

As far as being jealous from the FB pics from the times you had to cancel at the last minute: don't be jealous - be happy that your friends had a great time. You were included in those plans. Had you not been included in those plans and then saw the pics, then I could understand jealousy. Your friends are going to have a great time with or without you - just like you would have a great time with our without one of them if they cancelled at the last minute.

Try to always remember (and be so grateful) that your kids are not sick (even when they get sick, they are not really sick, like cancer, etc). The most important thing in life is to have a healthy family, and you have that!

Best wishes!

I think it's normal to feel disappointed when things don't work out the way you want them to. It takes M. a couple days to "recover" from disappointments, no matter how big or small. But I just tell myself that everything happens for a reason. My husband and I have been slapped hard by a couple judges in court cases over the last few years...to the tune of us owing almost 40k, and not rightfully so because of the other parties lying and getting others to lie for them. That is VERY hard to swallow but we know it will somehow work out in the long run. My husband is commission only, maybe he will have some HUGE commission months and we can cut some big checks to pay it off, maybe we will have to file BK, maybe we'll win the lottery, maybe it will take us 46 years to pay off...I don't know, but it isn't worth stressing about, it's just LIFE and sometimes great things happen and sometimes horrible things happen. My husband and I have a great life, family and friends, there isn't much we can complain about so I try to think that no matter how big I think my problems are, others have things much, much worse. So just try to turn your thinking around and don't beat yourself up if you need a few days to recover, that is just part of the process. Good luck!

I go into things expecting something different will come out and then we roll with that! Then that way I am 1,000 times more surprised/grateful that something happened exactly the way it was planned (which is the most rare thing)

First FB pictures/posts: there have been many articles about people getting jealous or sad after following peoples lives on FB. If it upsets you, avoid FB. It bothered M. for awhile and I stopped looking at FB. I applaud you for not giving up - you keep making plans even though things don't always work out. I have all but given up on family vacations because my husband is such a jerk when we travel. To avoid the disappointment we don't travel - sad but true. We are going to try another trip this year because he's trying to have a better attitude. I guess I'm saying that we all struggle and we all have different ways of coping.

Attitude is really important and often when you are in a slump fopefully you can coax yourself back into a better mood. If not, you might be a little depressed. Good-luck.

Lol!
VERY soon after I had a child, I realized the über importance of a Plan B...and C...sometimes D....or E!