How to Prepare My Child for the Loss of Our Family Dog!

Everybody handles things like that in their own way. Trying to prepare her for inevitable may be kind of tricky being that she took that so hard. I would suggest hooking her up with a councelor that she can confide in. The counselor should have a better idea of how to prepare her in the least painful way possible. I know that counseling carries a sort of stigma with it, but it really doesn't mean that anything is wrong with her. Everybody needs someone to talk to some time. Even counselors wind up getting counseling. And there's never shame in asking for help when you need it.

OK I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS 10 AND OUR FAMILY DOG DIED. MY FAMILY GOT HIM BEFORE I WAS EVEN BORN. HE WAS A MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY BY ALL MEANS...JUST LIKE YOUR DOG. I REMEMBER WATCHING HIM GET SICK AND NOT KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON.IM SURE MY PARENTS KNEW BUT I WAS NEVER TOLD....I HAD HAD PETS DIE BEFORE THIS BUT WERE HIT BY A CAR SO IT WAS A LITTLE DIFFERENT AT THE TIME. BUT IT NEVER OCCURED TO ME AS A KID THAT ANIMALS WOULD DIE ANY OTHER WAY..WELL NOT MY DOG ANYWAY. AND NO ONE EVER REALLY TOOK THE TIME TO TELL ME THAT ONE DAY THE DOG MAY PASS AWAY. THEN ONE NIGHT HE HAD SOMETHING LIKE A SEIZURE AND PASSED AWAY. IT WAS LIKE LOSING MY BEST FRIEND. I HAD ONLY WISHED THAT MY PARENTS HAD TOLD US AND EXPLAINED THAT DOGS DIE TOO......BY GETTING SICK AND OLD. DONT WAIT TIL AFTER.....YOUR DAUGHTER WILL APPRECIATE IT IN THE END. PERHAPS WHEN YOUR DOG DOES PASS ON, YOU COULD HAVE A SMALL MEMORIAL OR SOMETHING. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK. IM SORRY THAT YOUR PET IS ILL....I HOPE THAT EVERYTHING IS GETS BETTER FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

M.,
Our beloved dog Chloe became ill with cancer a couple of years ago. We had her all of Andy's life (he was 11 when we had to put her down) and the other boys were 8 % 6. We talked with all of them about how ill she was and visibly she showed them all. At the end she was not able to go outside or get up to eat or anything. Tom and I were deeply affected by losing our first "baby" and so the boys knew how this was affecting us all. We found a place that would allow us to be in the room when the injections were given and that would allow us to bring her home to bury her at home.
I asked all the boys if they wanted to be with us when Chloe passed and only Andy chose to. He and his Dad and I held each other and Chloe and told her how much we loved her as we cried and she passed. Then we picked up our other two boys and we all were together as we buried her and talked about how wonderful a pet she was and how much we loved her and she loved us. It was as good as it could get for losing usch a special part of our family. I hope this helps. I am sorry that you all are losing your pet. Many regards,

I have lost 2 very close family pets in my 27 years. They were members of the family...not just animals. Just tell her the same thing you'd tell her if were a human relative. The dog is very old and sick and one of these days she is going to pass away. But she will go to doggy heaven and will be happy. She will have new, healthy doggy body...no sickness or pain and will be able to run and play and have all the doggy she treats she can handle. Also tell her it's ok to be sad and cry....it's ok to even be angry if that's how she feels. Just make sure to encourage her to talk to you about her feelings. not keep them bottled up.

Hi M.,

I have a 17 yr.old son who is very sensitive, as well as a 9 yr. old who is also. When it comes to having pets, we have veered away from it because of the fact that even having fish for awhile was disasterous. Something in my body does something to the water and mysteriously the fish die off whenever I have to do anything with them that needs my hands in the water. My middle son would cry for hours, while the youngest would get angry and go off on his own. My oldest had cats off and on and where his grandparents lived was close to a road and well you can guess what was likely to happen there ><. He would always get upset and he still does over one of his cats. Every child is different though. And each child does bond with their pet. It may be best to explain the health of the dog to her and include her in caring for her (if her diet has changed due to the stroke, exercises, etc). Sometimes it is easier to deal with when you know what is going on. It is always scarier to try to "fight" something you don't understand or know. If you are religious, perhaps you can bring that into it also, maybe explaining that the passing is not something to fear but the next step in life and a level where she can still be guarding your daughter, like a guardian angel dog.

Going to school is wonderful!! More than likely you are going a lot of the hours during the day while your daughter is in school also?? If so, then you can come home and maybe the two of you can spend the evening creating dinner together. Have mother and daughter dinner nights. Then as she learns more, have it to where she cooks a few times a week then you cook a few times, then maybe a couple times you both cook....then there is always desserts to be made on the weekends and sharing a flour fight...LOL. Share in the laundry, shopping, etc...not only does it include her in things, but it also teaches her the things she will need in life as she grows up.

These are just a few ideas. I don't have a daughter, but I still do these things with my sons. You never know if they will need to cook on their own, and I want them to be able to take care of their girlfriend/wife if she is ill and to spoil her a bit as well *winks*. So not sure if it helps any, but that is my two cents worth.

Hi M., I'm not sure what to tell you about about how to help your daughter deal with the loss of the family pet. However we recently lost our dog in an accident, and I was really upset about it, but my kids never even cried they acted as if it did'nt bother them, which worried me. Anyway if it were me I would start explaining to her now about your dog's health problems and tell her that she (the dog) will be so much better off without any pain or suffering.
I am also in school right now and it has been very difficult trying to balance everything. I do know that everything will work out in the end, but it is hard for my kids to understand that i am doing this for all of us. My daughters are 5 and one soon to be 8 and i want to be able to give us a better life. I am sorry if i rambled on i am new to this site. Good Luck with everything, it will all work out for you!!

M.,
I sincerely feel for your family's situation. Reading your request brought back memories and the many tears I had when I had to put my dog to sleep. I am a middle-aged housewife and it still hurts. It is one of the defining moments in our lives when we lose a pet with whom we have shared so many years together.
Personally, I feel it is best to openly talk about this with Kimberly, alot and soon. There will be many tears and perhaps even some anger that will need to be released from both of you. I don't think you should wait until your pet dies to discuss this with her. She is acutely aware that this is going to happen, sooner or later and she needs to learn to deal with this instead of denying it. It is a fact of life, for us all.
I believe sincerely that by discussing this in any way you and she needs to, the two of you will become even closer. However, I would also urge you to consider your Lexi's feelings too. If she is suffering, please consider seeking a vet's advice. That too is a difficult decision to have to make. However, it may be the best option for several reasons. You could prevent her from further suffering, having to watch her suffer and either of you walking in and finding her in whatever room she is in. You have to live there and it would be a reminder everytime you saw that particular area.
My words seemed harsh when I reviewed what I wrote but with a lack of elegance in my written voice, I don't know how to more gently express my opinions. Please know however, I write with sincere concern and even love.
Healing needs to start now for the both of you to prepare yourselves mentally.
It is never easy with the loss of a beloved pet/family member, but you can optimize the maturity growth factor for Kimberly. It can become a more feverent bond between the two of you as a shared experience. Discuss the options available to you with your daughter. Allow her to assist in making the decision of what is right for your family. If you decide to take your dog to a vet, I would also suggest you decide if you want to stay with your dog. It's terribly painful for us but it is a way of releasing necessary emotions and beginning the healing proccess. I stayed with my pet and I don't regret it. I felt she knew I loved her and just got very sleepy. I have many happy memories of her and I don't focus now on her declining health and quality of life near the end. Tears still come but I and my children have been able to successfully handle the situation. They still talk about her occassionally like, remember when Honey Pup would sit under the Christmas tree and guard our presents? I would answer, yes and she always had a present or two under there too. We would smile, sometimes give a hug and they go on to do whatever they were into before.
I wish you all peace and comfort.
L.

hi M.

Yes i noticed that alot of the children are young too, but there are also some wiht older ones mine range from 14-26 yrs so dont worry.

ok...my son lost a dog that he had for years also, its rough, annd i think it is harder on us to see our children like that than it is actually on them...let kimberly know that she willalways have the dog in her heart, and make sure she has pictures of the dog and her throught the years and let her do a scrap book with them...let her know that this is Gods will and that Lexi will be fine and in a safe hapy home...she willnever be able to replace Lexi, and lexi will still be wiht her. its rough especially if it is the first loss.

the concern of going back to school...let kimberly know that this is for her so mom can get a better job, and just be sure you make the time you do have with quality time, not quantity.

Hello! We just recently lost our little dog and I was trying to find out what other moms had suggested. My daughter is 3, almost 4. I got my dog when he was a puppy right around the time that I found out I was pregnant so to my daughter he had always been there. We still arn't sure why he died- it was very sudden, he had a bruise on the inside of his leg and then had some slight weezing and died during the night, I feel horrible that I didn't take him to the vet but he seemed ok, I had to tell my daughter and she cried almost non-stop for 2 days, anytime you said Taboulie (the dogs name) or brought up our other dog or anything dog related she would start crying. We told her that he died and went to heaven to be with Jesus (she was mad for a while that Jesus took her dog and wanted him back also any time we pass a cemetary she calls it heaven and wants to go and get him) She is better now, every once in a while she will call for him when we are letting in our other dog or ask my mom if she can "borrow" her dog since Taboulie died.
I don't know if this is releavent enough for this advice thing but I thought that it might help anyone else with younger children and pet loss.

M.,

My name is M. and I am 37 I have 3 children ages 10,13,and 17. About the dog... well that is never easy but I too have deat with the same problem recently...Our dogs name was Sunshine and she was our family pet for 15 years. She past last May... The best advice I can give you is to be completely honest with Kimberly...Death is a natural part of life and we all have to deal with it...trying to cover it up or make the blow softer really doesn't help her to learn about it. She seems to trust in you and have faith in you so you should keep that as your top prority...Trust that you will find the right answers for her when the time comes.... Good luck...

As for going back to school (that is awesome) Since she is at the age of 13 you can share your experiences with her and hopefully it will encourage her to follow in your footsteps and go to college just like you. Make sure she knows that some things will change but it will benefit the both of you.
You sound like an intelligent woman...make the most of everything you do and your daughter will respect you and be as proud of you as you are of her when she succeeds.. My advice here is to go for the gusto....Good luck I hope everything goes well for you. Hugs M.

First of all, I sympathize with your pain. It's not just your daughter's companion-it's yours as well. I would talk to Kimberly about Lexi and explain that although it's difficult and sad to lose her that the time will come when she needs to go to a better place. Kimberly should be old enough to understand about the cycle of life...that alone will help. I would maybe see about having her start a scrapbook for Lexi, get her a small, digital camera (you can get them-here at least-for about $20) and she can take pix of Lexi for her to remember, that it will be time for them together. GOOD LUCK!
And, you are not alone. I'm a mom to a 12 1/2 yr old! (and I'm 35) LOL
M.