How to Handle Being at Home All the Time?

Oh I know EXACTow you feel. My life consist of sitting at home all the time with my 4 year old. Dh works nights, so he sleeps all day and then leaves for work at 430 and doesnt get home until 630-7 am. We are always arguing about why i'm so all the time. he doesnt understand that my life is in this house. I never get to leave, never have mponey to even put gas in the car to take my son to the park. it's such a pain in the butt and is driving me nutts. I dont have any friends at all, i moved here last year in jan. and I get so depressed so easy and thus it leads to me staying in the house and doing those motherly/wife things day in and day out. The only time i get alone is after my son goes to bed at night. He is a very energetic child to, so he is always on the go allll day long, tires me out just wang him.
I cant give you any advice because I need some for myself as well. I am so use to working, i'm actually attending college (online) right now just so I have something else to do other than cleaning up after my kiddo and animals, laundry, dishes, etc. all the time. But even then i'm having to use my brain consistantly in class, and so my brain never gets a break. Financially and emotional as well as physcially i'm stressed, depressed and just about to lose it. I do go to therapy to deal with my depression, but its once a week and it helps some, but it's not enough.
So i'm here with you on everything, I will keep an eye on this post so that perhaps I can get some ideas as well.

I know exactly how you feel b/c my son was 17 months old when my daughter was born. And staying at home has had it's challenges. When the kids were your little one's age, the best thing I could do was get them on the same napping schedule. Having that break to yourself is so recharging. I would sleep, read a magazine, or just do nothing but enjoy the silence. And the next best thing I found to be helpful is to join playgroups. As difficult as it is to get out and about with them, it's worth the effort. Because your not paying for a playgroup you can decide whether or not to go that day. It allows you time to talk to a grown-up and it gets you out of the house. Plus you can talk to other moms who are dealing with same issues that you are, like how difficult it is sometimes to stay at home:} Hope that's helpful.

I would talk to your hubby and make sure you get some personal time. That will help WONDERS. It can get overwhelming never having a break. Try to get out when you can, though, like you said, it can be very difficult some of the time. Can you invite another friend over or something so you can get adult time as well? Good luck.

WOW!! I remember feeling like that many years ago and I had three! I used to plan a picnic in the backyard with my little ones (Now 26, 24 and 21) and we used to eat outdoors. I also used to plan their naps around the same time each day. Sometimes easier said than done. While the two little ones were napping, my oldest had "quiet" time. He used to read or color and draw and it would allow him some downtime. I used to put them in a stroller and allow my older one to ride his bike and we used to walk every day, weather permitting. It gave me much needed exercise to feel refreshed and it allowed them to get outdoors ( fresh air) also and I found they would sleep better. Try a play group one or two days a week. There are many inexpensive things you can do. Get creative and see what happens. Go to the zoo during the week. Many times you can get cheaper rates during the weekday. Take the children to a park and have a picnic lunch-backyards are easier but parks add to a change in scenery. They also have playgrounds and sandboxes which allows the little ones to play. Are there any other moms in your neighborhood where you can trade off babysitting services to allow you to go to the grocery store alone or get your nails done? I had a mom that lived next door to me and we trade babysitting services (an hour once a week to do whatever we wanted). It worked out well. Make sure it is someone you could trust. Get creative and have fun. We've all been there and you wouldn't believe what you can come up with.

Blessings
M. :)

I worked full time with my first group of kids and I thought THAT was hard. Now we have decided to start all over. I retired about 6 years ago. For 10 years I have been teaching scrabpook and stamp classes with CTMH. That is fun and awesome, giving me much needed ADULT time. BUT I also, like you need more. I have found that play groups (moms of preschoolers) to be good for some people. We joined a gymboree class and that was fun. If you know other moms and can get together somewhere to let them play, that is a good thing. Trading mornings or afternoons with someone for childcare is an inexpensive idea. Or, if you can afford it, hire a babysitter one day a week. I do go to bible study every Wednesday nite. The babies 10 mos and 24 mos go to the nursery, stay with my son or stay with dh. That give me an outside ADULT night. I know it is not easy. Working is much easier. I wouldn't trade or change a thing but I do understand how you feel. Maybe you can get some ideas from here. Good luck, just know you are not alone.

Do you have a hobby, scrapbooking, needlepoint, knitting? Take a class somewhere, even online if you can't arrange childcare. Just another random thought.

I stay at home too and I totally get how you feel. On Fridays while my son is at school, I take my 3 yo daughter to her babysitter (a lady in her late 40s/early 50s) so I can get my nails done, run errands, or have lunch dates with friends just to regain my sanity. I don't feel guilty about this at all bc she needs a break from me too and it gives her a chance to play with other kids. Our babysitter has a few others her age that go everyday. Even if you did this once every other week, it really helps momma. Maybe this type of arrangement could work for you too. Good Luck and hang it there! U r not alone!!

My FAV get out of the house with little ones - put them both in a stroller and go for a walk! You can go home refreshed, it costs nothing, the kids usually love it, and everyone gets some much needed fresh air! Take it a step further and go to the Zoo. Also your back yard can be like another world - bring a nice water bottle for mom and lunch for your tot. Snuggle your baby and enjoy the fresh air. If the weather is not cooperative put them both in car seats and take a scenic drive - bring that beloved bottle of water for you and a snack for your tot, too. These ideas are cheap and you all get a change of scenery together! Best wishes :)

Hi A.!

I may have something that could create a balance for you. I don't know how your weekly schedule is, but my suggestion would allow you to get out of the house 1-2 nights a week, and you can do it on the weekends when your husband is home. It will allow you to spend time with other adults in a fun atmosphere. This company has changed EVERYTHING for me!

I am a full-time SAHM and I still contribute to our family income. I am a Representative for Silpada Designs Jewelry. I leave the house for very few hours a week in the evenings and on weekends when my husband is home, so we save on childcare costs and anxiety! The rest of the time, I work from home while my son naps and after he's gone to bed.

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That jewelry thing does sound interesting.
Man I've been feeling this way lately too. My husband is back from Iraq, but my "work load" doesn't seem to have decreased... I miss working sometimes, but know the blessing it is to stay home.
I think a few of us should start a mom's group.
But also, I think a women's Bible Study, mall play areas, zoo membership and jumping party are KEY to my sanity! hahaha
There is a lot you can do.
Email me... we can chat.
Hugs and just know... while we don't always feel appreciated by our spouses, our children DO appreciate and reap the benefits of our being home.

Hi A.!
I feel as you do sometimes. I love staying home with my 3 year old twin sons and the time is going by so quickly but I do feel like I need a break sometimes. I can only say that I always have a book on hand and when DH gets home I run upstairs to my room for some quiet time. He works a lot too but is sympathetic to what I'm feeling. I was working full time prior to having children and we decided together that I would stay home because it is what we thought would be best for our family. I will return to work one day but until then I am my sons' primary care giver. I also do the spa thing when my DH gives me a gift card which is a couple of times a year. I suggest you go to your nearest B&N for some quiet reading time.

Good luck and hang in there...your children are blessed to have a good mama to stay home with them.

Wow,I know how you feel! I worked for 13 years then decided to stay home when my 20 month old was born. SAHM's can feel very isolated because it is hard to get out with little ones, especially 4 months where they are eating every 3-4 hours and napps are still all over the place! Just know that you are doing a great job and you're not alone. Sometimes when I feel trapped in this house and discouraged I think about all the other SAHM's doing the same thing. Our job might not seem appreciated all the time but our families do appreciate us. It will get easier too when the 4 month old gets older and you can have a nap schedule for them both at the same time, making it easier to get out and do things. Hang in there! Just keep loving and playing with those babies, they grow up way too fast!

Like everyone else said...we have all been there! The best two things I did were to get my girls on the same nap schedule and to join a playgroup!

Anything to get out of the house is great...a playdate at a friend's, the park, the mall...they have play areas where your 22 m/o can play, the zoo, a walk around the neighborhood...anything that gets you all out!

Good luck!

Oh girlfriend...we have ALL been there! It actually got so bad that finally my husband INSISTED that our oldest son go to Mother's Day Out to give me a break! I can not tell you how WONDERFUL it was! He went 2 days a week from 9:30 am until 2:30 pm. It has been wonderful for him and me. I absolutely intend to put my youngest in MDO next year. It helps me TOTALLY keep my sanity. I tried the gym daycare, but my son had never stayed with a anyone else and so 10 minutes into my workout EVERY time he would scream so much that they would page to to go and pick him up. The other thing that you can do is try to find a good play group. Also, find a good babysitter. I can honestly say that I have not had much luck in that arena yet, but I am determined to keep trying! Keep your chin up! I feel your pain...my husband travels Monday through Friday most weeks so I am the single parent SAHM!

I have felt that way many times. And going to work is not an option at all (childcare for 4, soon to be 5, kids would be outrageous!). I'm sorry you are not getting many breaks. Do you have any other mom friends that you could swap with? You could take her kids one day for a few hours and then she takes yours another day for a few hours. As for getting out with the kids, it can be hard at first. But if you can find one or two regular activities, they will adjust it into their routine and come to enjoy it too. You might try a storytime at your library. I know it is hard when your kids are so young, and close in age, as yours are. I had three in 23 1/2 months! You might have to really insist that you get some free time when your husband is home too. He may not like it, but a happy and healthy mom is important for the whole family. Good luck!

Hi A.,

Your not alone. I recommend doing something you love and involving your children. It will feed all of you. If you love museums take them to a free museum or art studio. If you love nature find a great local place to take a nature hike. Use your passions and find a way to involve your children. Also seek out a parent/Mom group at a local MOPS group, church. Grab your friends that stay at home and get the kids moving.

Best to you! What a blessing to be a Mom!

I have recently joined the YMCA. I find that I love it, my kids love it. I know you have lttle ones, but I am sure it will be a great place to start off. Besides, your husband can join you on weekends, etc. There's not just working out, but socializing, etc. that eventualy you do with other moms, etc. I know YMCA does offer a low income scale fee, which I am sure is not that much. But even with the regular monthly fee, I find it worth it, for the fact that it gives me some me time. There is a reading station, a Womans center, just for girls, etc. you can have tea there, etc. If you have the time to look into it, it might be a good thing after all.. they say when we exercise it is not only good for out body, but for our mind most of all.

Best of luck,

C.

Dont feel alone A.. My name is P. & i am a new mother of 4 month old twins. I just recently quit my job b/c it was to hard for me. I am a stay at home mom as well & trust me i get bored out of my mind. I love to get out every second i can, even if its just going to the grocery store. I completley understand where you are coming from. Talk about them being on different schedules.....it is not easy. Just hang in there. Get out every second you can. They say not being in the sunlight has alot to do with your hormones and how you feel. Try going for a walk with the kids. That is what i usually do when i feel like i am going to pull my hair out & it does help.....i promise. Sometimes all you need is a breath of fresh air.

Oh my. I have been there. When my older daughter was about 14 months, my husband took a temporary job in the middle of nowhere, and the whole family relocated. I made the best of it, but the weeks where she was sick so I couldn't easily leave the apartment really dragged on me!!!!!

So, I think you need some kind of activity where you can take them and just get out of the house with other adults. It could be a Moms group, a class or just regular parktime. And it will be hard, but I think you just need to push the naps and do it.

In Austin, you can look at International MOMS Club, Austin Preschool Moms, MOPS (if you are into a church-based program), or Mothers and More. Also, if you have the resources -- you can usually do two kids in a music class for the price of one.

Good luck. I know how it feels.

I'm with you. I joined a gym with childcare and its worth it to be able to (literally) run away for an hour a day. Plus it makes me healthy and feel better about the way I look. I always hated exercising, but I've fallen in love with running now (in my mid 30s). It's pricey to join a gym but anti-depressants are pricier!

good luck.