How to Get My Kids to Help Clean Up

I completely believe in the kids being kids, but i think you can also teach them responsibility at the same time. I try not to overwhelm my 4 year old with responsibilities, but do like for him to pick up after himself. We have the routine when he gets home that he has to put away his school stuff (backpack, shoes in coat) in his room and then he gets to watch cartoons and have a snack. We say too, that once he is done playing with something to put it away before he can get out something else. A chore chart is also a fun way for kids to learn responsibility. You can give them daily things to do and they get a sticker for doing them and then give each sticker value and by the end of the week if they have so many stickers they get money or a toy? You could really have the reward be anything-- even a trip to the park, etc...doesn't have to be a thing. Hope that helps. :-)

MIne are on a schedule. I have 4 kids. Each day is a different chore day. Either cat, dog or kitchen then an off day.
I also have hid coins under things when they were learning to dust and pick up.
When I first started I paired a little one with an older one so the oldest can teach. When my oldest two were starting they helped me and I gave them more responsibilities until they could do it, like the bathroom.
Sometimes my 9 year old needs help washing dishes but he is very capable of loading the dishwasher and wiping down counters.
I do not pay for chores. I say we are a family and this is what families do.
Swiffer dusters are great fun for them. As is that Swiffer vacuum, but it doesn't work very well.

I have two kids ages almost 4 & 5. I keep their chores centered on them cleaning up after them & that has helped to cut down on the mess & my chores. they clean their table after they eat & put their dishes away & I don't nag or remind them about it. If they don't clean up supper plates, then come breakfast & they are asking for it, I just say, "oh sure, as soon as I have a place to put it." They rarely forget any more. They clean up their craft/color area and same thing goes there too. That is also where we play games or read books together, so if they want mommy time, then mommy needs a clean space. They are also responsible for hanging coats & keeping shoes nice in utility room. If a shoe or coat is out of place when I lock back door at night, then it gets confiscated & then they get to go outside, but they are the chosen backyard toy picker upper! If for some reason they don't follow through with that, then next day, they miss out on backyard fun! This has yet to happen & I can't remember last time I tripped on a shoe or had to search for one! They are resposible for keeping their bathroom clean & tidy. Their performance determines how long they get to play in the tub, if they get bubbles, or bubble bath, or fizzie water color changing tablets. They also are responsible for cleaning their rooms & picking up all their toys. Their performance determines their tv time for the day and three days of no tv time = mom picking up toys & a trip to the local church school where we give away toys child doesn't want to pick up. Child sees how much the other kids love the toys & while a tough lesson, they have learned how to appreciate and take care of what they have! It is amazing how human nature works......we never want something as much until we see someone else have it or like it, such a shame. Local church school loves us though, free toys & books, but been awhile since we've been there. LOL. This has allowed me to concentrate on kitchen & laundry daily & dust & vacuuming weekly without too much strain. I clean kid's bathroom while they play in tub and I clean ours on tuesday & friday mornings prior to me jumping in the shower. I bought duplicate cleaners & keep them in each bathroom with a roll of paper towels so I never have to leave the room. This has really given me more free time to play with kids & start a photo project. Hope this helps you too.

The way I do it, is to have a quick "10 minute tidy"...I have found that if everyone is cleaning then it is not unfair to anyone. I do this once a day. I assign everyone their job (including myself) and then we put some music on and go! We do not stop till its done and sometimes it takes longer than 10 minutes and sometimes it doesn't. We also have "family cleaning" on the weekends that is much more involved, but everyone works at the same time and we do it together...as a team...as a family!

Now granted, I still have way more than 10 minutes worth of cleaning to do a day but I make sure all my kids help during the "10 minute tidy"...it is good for them, kids need to learn early on that they have to help out and clean up after themselves and others...when they balk I tell them "sorry dude, that's what happens when you have a family"!

Hope some of this helps. I have so many kids and each has their own crazy schedule that I have never assigned chores for them to do on a regular basis...I just see what needs to be done then dole out the jobs as fairly as possible, everyday.

Make a list of chores that need to be done daily, weekly, and occasionally. Figure out which ones are age appropriate and make a few of them their permanent job that they are automatically responsible for. For example, I wash and fold clothes and my kids are ALWAYS responsible for putting them away. After dinner, I NEVER clear the table-- my kids know it's their job. My daughter has started being responsible for the kitchen after dinner. She gets everything into the dishwasher and I help scrub pots and pans. On trash day, my son is responsible for bringing up the trash cans and bringing in the recycle bin. Breaking big jobs into smaller tasks makes things easier for everyone, too. Like your 3 year old can't do the laundry, but can help put the wet clothes into the dryer, then pull it out when it's dry and put in in the laundry basket so the 9 year old can help sort and fold it.

My advice: your 9 year old should have been helping out years ago. Get him/her going--NOW! It's never too early to encourage little ones (mine are 3 and 2) to help bring their dishes to the counter (or hand them to mommy), put trash in the trashcan, pick up their toys scattered all over the floor. You've heard no doubt of the "Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere... clean up clean up everybody do your share!" song? We sing it every time we need to help pick up a mess in the house. My older ones (14 and 9) are well trained and know what to do most times without being asked. It really works when you give them no choice but to help clean up the house. Your comment about letting kids be kids confuses me, because you will not do them any service by not teaching them how to be self reliant and responsible people. Of course kids have play time (doesn't that basically dominate their day?) It's about teaching responsibility and that needs to be part of their every day routine as well. But definitely your older child can be doing soooooo much for you, you'd be amazed. And depending on how you approach it, it doesn't have to be a "chore" but rather a family time where everyone's pitching in to make your house nice.

I know it can be hard to teach kids housecleaning when you are sick. It takes energy. If you can get your mom or another adult caretaker to help you teach the kids, it may give you some rest. When I had surgery I needed a lot of help with cleaning. Whenever someone came to my house to help, I asked them to get the kids involved. Some of the adults knew things that my kids were capable of that I hadn't realized, so that was very helpful. Whenever my kids go to my mom's house she gets them involved in cleaning for part of the time and they enjoy it. I have a chart where we keep track of jobs that my kids (6 & 4) do to help me and I reward them when they reach a certain amount. Usually I invite them to help and earn a job mark, letting them choose to help. But sometimes, like when I'm not feeling well or we have a time constraint, I have to tell them, "You have to do this now. You'll earn a job mark for it, but I need you to stop playing and do this job now." When they have a specific goal in mind, like a toy they want to buy, they are more likely to ask me what they can do to help. But if you do a job chart, do some calculating before you assign a value to the jobs. I started out assigning 10 cents to each job and found myself very quickly spending more than I wanted to. Good luck!

I think the other moms have given a lot of good advice and suggestions.

We don't give our kids the option of helping or not (ours are much younger - 3.5 and 22 months). For instance, last night, they destroyed our daughter's bedroom with books. Before we could do anything else, they each had to help pick-up books, bring them to me, and I'd put them away while they got more.

Our son's enjoying helping empty the dishwasher, so for now, he thinks it's fun......as well as helping me wipe the glass on the windows/doors when I clean them.

Your 9 year old will be able to help much more than your younger, but I'd agree with the other moms to have a list of responsibilities (making the table, cleaning the table, making their beds, taking out trash, putting their clothes away, etc).

It's a personal decision whether or not to reward, but I think if they know it's an expectation (especially with your medical condition) they should be happy to help within their capabilities.

Good luck!

You've gotten great advice so far, I just wanted to add that you're 9 year old could most likely help out with laundry. Both kids could sort and the 9 year old (with the help of a stool and some of the concentrated detergent with smaller bottles that are easier for smaller hands) can load the laundry into the washer and dryer and both can help fold.

When I was 9 this was one of my chores and I feel like I gained a skill that has stayed with me throughout life. I plan on teaching my sons to do laundry as soon as they are old enough (8 or 9) to handle it. Right now my 2.5 year old helps me sort and carry the laundry - he loves throwing the clothes in the wash and I can hand him wet laundry to put in the dryer as well - I'm thinking your almost 4 year old could help out in the same capacity?

Best of luck :)

You can make a responsibility chart for them. list the chores you want them to do and check it off for each day they do it, and if they get every single check for every single day you can treat them. Lol, kinda like a payday. It will definanetely give them a start on routine which will eventually benifit them for the future. The one I have is something i bought, and it even lists whether they have been kind to their sibling. It also gives a line on what the treat would be, whether a bike or a game, they will have a goal. It will definately motivate the 9 year old since they know how to read. And i do understand children's focus isn't the best either, so when my kids become that way, I take something away from them. My daughter is 3 and will be 4 as well in a couple of months so her attention grabber is t.v. I'll turn it off until she gets it done.

Check out flylady.net. It has really helped me clean in short time periods (a little at a time) and they offer ideas for getting the kids involved. Good luck!

~S.

Updated

Check out flylady.net. It has really helped me clean in short time periods (a little at a time) and they offer ideas for getting the kids involved. Good luck!

~S.

two things: first, my theory is that i try to foster a generous, loving, helpful atmosphere in general. instead of, "you need to do X", and making it about what THEY have to do, i try to at least be 'working' with them on some level. my three year old helps empty the dishwasher by putting away things in lower drawers. i "help" him pick up his cars. he's a little young to do most chores by himself, but i hope that as he gets older this "we need to help each other" attitude will help. when i ask him to do something, i try to state, "honey i need you to help me...." do such-and-such. it makes him feel like a big boy that he is helping mom out. if you're having a hard time getting your 9 year old to help out, i believe that showing you're willing to help her/him might help.

S., my son also has chores that i have helped him do for last year or so - every morning he has to 1. go potty, 2. get dressed, 3. feed the fish, 4. brush his teeth. almost all of it he insists on doing himself now. (he still needs help with his teeth.) but it is a routine that has been great for us. now there are times when i will tell him, "okay now it's time for you to have a special chore to do." and already he knows a "chore" is something he is expected to do. there's no argument (for the most part!)

I have a 3 and 5 year old. Three things have worked well for us: 1. turn off the tv and/or any other distractions so they can focus on the cleaning up. 2. we set a timer for 10 minutes and we make it a game to see if we can get the room picked up before the timer goes off. 3. Whatever our next "fun" activity is going to be, it does not start until the current mess is picked up, or chore done, etc. Hope this is helpful!

Here's my take on it, for what it's worth. One of the "job descriptions" children have is that their playing leads into learning to work. So it's not unjust or unreasonable to let your children help you. That word LET is used for a reason. I remember once reading the statement, "Children like real things to do. They need to know that they are more than caged pets." (But I don't remember who wrote it.)

Your younger one won't be much in the way of actual help, but a child of that age can pick up toys and put them in baskets, pick up clothes and put them in hampers, and sort of make up a bed. A nine-year-old can learn to wash dishes by hand, put away the dishes if they go in places he or she can reach, sweep or mop, and do a number of other things that don't involve complex equipment.

Just as with school work, house work needs a good attitude and you'll need to model this to your kids. If you don't know how to teach them to approach work with a positive manner, as if it were a game, head over to the library and pick up the old Betty MacDonald book, "Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle." You'll get some good ideas from it.

However, keep in mind that they won't do the jobs as well as you do. When your children do their work you need to encourage effort and improvement and not be too critical. Children are usually glad to help their parents if they know they are really helping and aren't beaten down by negativity. And they will still have plenty of time to play!

For the rest of the work you can't do, you might want to ask your friends and neighbors for the names of people who clean for a living or teens who could come in and do a blitz-clean one afternoon a week. For those people you pay money, of course; for your children's work, you pay in praise, love, hugs, and any extra attention you can give them. :^)

(I just read the other answers, and they're great! Let's hear it for moms!)

Mommyboo,

I'm sorry about your diagnosis! It is never fun to be told to 'back off' of being and doing what we are programmed to do. It is hard! When I was on bedrest watch last year during a pregnancy a lady in my church group suggested some things to help keep my sanity and hopefully help get my house clean while I'm on the couch! She had 9 kids and was a very busy woman to boot. These are the things that helped her.
Making cleaning a game. Your 9 year old would probably really like to 'host' her own cleaning show in the bathroom. (i always did!)
Make it a race. See if your 4 year old can beat your 9 year old at making their bed, doing 5 jumping jacks and then reporting back to you!
Let some things slide. Really.
When you cook, make two. Eat one that night, freeze the other for another night.
Fold laundry in the living room. Ask your husband to bring it in to the couch where you can fold it and then put it back in a basket and have each child take care of their own (this includes hubby).
My husband helped with moving laundry around for me. I could stand up long enough to sort it and he would put it in the washer for me, then when he'd get home he would move it to the dryer and I'd fold it the next day. Took a long time, but at least it was moving!!

Good luck. My 8 year old still likes emptying the dishwasher and cleaning the bathrooms. Dad takes out garbage and does dishes often. I'm no longer on bedrest (our baby is now 10 months) but I'm expecting another and doing much better this time around!

Best wishes to your speedy recovery!
V.

Forty and Fabulous had great advice. I just have one little addition. When your husband IS home ask him to model helping out too. Give him a regular chore so the kids can see Daddy does his part too.

Hi B.,
Lets start by remembering who's in charge? You are Mom so get a little tougher and start assigning some chores. Unless of course you want to be cleaning up after the whole clan until they get married and move out. Kids don't have any problem being kids...that's a very natural state for them. But when it comes to being adults or maturing that takes training and that's your department. Start by considering what all you want or need help with. Then make some charts or lists for each child according to age appropriate jobs. As an example my 5 and 3 yo take turns unloading the silverware drawer. The 5 yo feeds the cats the 3 yo feeds the dog. They both help with the laundry by gathering the dirty clothes and folding the clean ones. They are both capable of vacumming their rooms and making their beds or changing sheets. They each help out in the kitchen with meals and cleanup and also know how to properly set the table. In our "spare time" we all work the orchard we own together so everyone shares in the responsiblity of producing a good crop. This didn't all happen overnight but I don't regret one minute I've spent training my little people to be productive humans.You may have to work with each one individually for awhile so they all know what your expectations are. You will come to enjoy your kids more if you help them learn to help you. Blessings to you, L.

All of my kids have a chore chart, where they get points for each one they do each day and then they use those points for special activities & treats. We use Windex wipes, Clorox wipes, flushable wipes, small latex gloves, etc.... My 9 year old cleans his toilet and the bathroom floor, and has been for the last couple of years. He also helps put dishes away, feeds the dog & turtle, vacuums the main floor, cleans his room, makes his bed, hangs up and puts away his own clothes, takes the recycle bins to the curb... His younger sister cleans the bathroom counter, feeds the cat, takes the milk jugs out when empty, and some of the same as her brother.

well, one thing I started is they want somethings they must help each day of the week they have a list and if they do not complete the tasks on it they do not get priviledges nor do they get materialitic things they want, they learned real quick I was serious. For example: my oldest turning thirteen next month, I made him a chore sheet, each day he does everything on there, I check, on Friday I deposit $10.00 to an account that equals $40.00 a month, just enough to pay for his month to month metro pcs cell phone! If he does not do the chores and he does not have enough to pay then he must have no phone for a month or do something REALLY extra if possible to make up for that. It is working great! I also have a prize box and each thing they do extra to help they get a ticket, the more tickets the better chance of winning things, I draw every Friday! They love and appreciate even the small stuff!