My dd is a very good gymnast, but she's burned out and ready to quit. I'm okay whether she stays or goes and actually I'm ready for a break too since it's a bit of a drive and I'm worried about over-use injuries. She's put lots of time into this sport and has been at it for almost 7 years and competes at a very high level. The coach has given her lots of her time and, of course, we feel bad leaving but we know we have to make our own decisions. What would you tell the coach if you were leaving?
You say:
Thanks for everything!
We're going to miss you but we've come to a point where we need to go in a different direction.
Thanks again and best wishes!
Bye!
We've decided to take a break from gymnastics right now. Thank you for all the time and energy you've put into helping our daughter. I wouldn't mention anything else and I'd do it with a smile and maybe a little gift.
your daughter has been doing this for 7 years. Why can't she tell the coach herself? Does she not have a relationship with the coach?
Why do you feel bad about leaving? Your daughter is burnt out. This happens. I'm sure there are sports stars out there that have taken a break to get their love for the sport back.
You and your daughter should take to the coach together.
Oh this is hard, I understand! But honestly, the coach won't be offended like you think he or she will. This happens! Quick question, though. Is this like the middle of the "season" for her right now? If so, can she wait until the end? Does it affect anyone else if she quits in the middle? Just trying to think big picture!
Otherwise, I agree with the others. Simply tell the coach it is time for a break for the entire family! That way, no specific person is to "blame". And if you want, bring a small gift and a hand written thank you card from your DD for the coach! Good luck!
I'm always just honest. They already know I find. They've been working with your kids all this time - they usually know it's coming. So what you've said here. Just thank them for all they've done and of course have your daughter thank them.
YOU don't tell the coach - your daughter does.
Your daughter needs to tell the coach she needs a break before she stops enjoying the sport. My oldest son went through that with Tae Kwon Do - made Black Belt and needed a break. He went to Sa Bu Nim and told him that he needed a break. It's been 4 years and he's ready to go back.
**YOU** don't do it. YOUR CHILD DOES. This is HER decision. Not yours. You are supporting her decision. IF YOU are making the decision, then YOU tell. But it sounds like she's the one who has made her mind up
Tell him the same things you've told us. I don't understand why this is so difficult to do. If it's because you want to protect him or yourself from awkwardness, it can be awkward. However, keep in mind, he is providing a service. You have a business relationship with him. If he's also a friend, you have a friendship relationship. Take care of this in a business like way. If he's also a friend, you can continue the friendship even if your dd isn't in his group.
If I knew why telling him she's taking a break is difficult for you, perhaps I could give a better answer.
She's a kid. So unless she's destined for the Olympics - good or not - I'd hope that any coach would understand that sometimes kids need a change of pace.
And that's exactly what I'd say. Don't close the door. Just say she needs a break, and may come back to it in her own time.
I'd hope that any reasonable adult that's used to working with kids would understand and encourage that, you know?
"DD is burned out on gymnastics and ready to explore new interests. These past years have been great, thank you." (assuming the latter is true)
Tell the coach exactly what you told us and thank the coach. Leave the door open in case your daughter wants to go back...
What's wrong with, "She has decided she doesn't want to do gymnastics anymore."
We're taking a break from gymnastics. Thank you so much for all you've done.
I don't see anything to feel bad about. It's great that your daughter had a good coach who paid attention to her. You could always give the coach a little gift on your daughter's last day. But you don't have anything to feel bad about. It's ok to decide that this season of life is over and that your daughter is ready for something else. It happens to all of us from time to time. No apologies!
How old is your daughter? If she's been in this for 7 years, she's not little. I'd have HER talk to the coach if she's 12 or older. She should say what you said. She could write a letter if it's easier for her, including her reasons and her profuse thanks for all the time/coaching, and say something about what she's learned (not just skills but confidence or the value of hard work or whatever). She can say she is burned out but glad she had the experience. She can follow up in person - I think she should after 7 years - but if a letter helps her "get it out" clearly to begin with, fine.
A good coach will understand. This cannot be the first time the coach has experienced it, and I assume the coach is a professional. A bad coach won't but then you won't care whether she gets it or not.
You could send your own note as well, with your thanks as a parent and the positive changes you see in your daughter over the years, and say she's ready for a change of pace and new challenges.
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How old is your daughter? If she's been in this for 7 years, she's not little. I'd have HER talk to the coach if she's 12 or older. She should say what you said. She could write a letter if it's easier for her, including her reasons and her profuse thanks for all the time/coaching, and say something about what she's learned (not just skills but confidence or the value of hard work or whatever). She can say she is burned out but glad she had the experience. She can follow up in person - I think she should after 7 years - but if a letter helps her "get it out" clearly to begin with, fine.
A good coach will understand. This cannot be the first time the coach has experienced it, and I assume the coach is a professional. A bad coach won't but then you won't care whether she gets it or not.
You could send your own note as well, with your thanks as a parent and the positive changes you see in your daughter over the years, and say she's ready for a change of pace and new challenges.
It's very very very hard for a child/teen to talk to an adult they deeply respect about something that isn't in that person's favor. She might not have the courage to talk to him. Plus he might just talk her into staying enrolled. Our coach has that right, to try and keep a customer and see if there is anything that can be done to help them stay at least part of the time.
If she is truly done then she needs to understand if she decides some time in the future that she misses it and wants to go back that she won't be on the same level anymore. Her skills will have slacked off and her muscle memory will not be the same. It will take her time to get up there again.
It's summertime. Can you just take off the next month or so and have some free time? Take a vacation? Then see how she feels when a new semester starts?
I am with Gamma G on this. Why not just take off for the summer. Years from now, she way wish that she had stuck with it. There are college scholarships, future summer jobs, high school cheerleading, college cheering, etc. that will be come if she sticks with it.
In figure skating, coaches never had a very difficult time telling us they are moving on. In fact, the hockey coach just left to another state and we are still owed 8 lessons with him. Things happen.
This is easy, you just tell them she's taking a break.
Simple and to the point. It doesn't have to be a big deal.
~We just went thru this a little bit when my son took a quick simple summer off from baseball, he is 12 and has been playing since he was 4! I did have to field a bit more questions and inquiries than I thought I would have to but it was what it was, which was it was time for a quick break! He's back at it now, so it was perfect and just the sabatcle we all needed!
And for what it worth, in regards to some of the other answers, does your daughter pay her own sport fees? I mean who's really writing that check? Whoever that person is is who tells the coach the break is on. I see their point about teaching proper etiquette & responsibility and that's great, you guys can both say something if you want too but in the end, the money man talks if the monies being spent.
