How Do You Keep from Being Overwhelmed and Stressed??

You have a lot on your plate.

When the older one naps, sit w/your little one next to you on the floor & rest. If you're lucky enough that the little one sleeps too, sleep or rest!

Can you get anyone to help you? A friend, relative?

Try doing 30 mins of exercise 3 days a week. Anything helps. If it has to wait for the weekend, do it then.

When you have kids, your relationship changes but you can work on getting it back to a godo place.
First priority, is your kids and your health.
When you have some energy & you're not overly tired, put in a 30 min exercise video (can even get one from the library).

Shower when your husband is home the night before(let your hair air dry).

If you have any family nearby, ask them for help.

Writing may have to wait until you have some extra time/energy & you're not as tired. Prioritize what is more important (sleep then shower etc).

Talk to friends on the phone for a 10 mins once a day or every other day.
To relieve stress.

Try to sit near your husb one night in the same room. Not on the same couch necessarily but close enough to talk about each other's day.

Try to reconnect.

Remember something: you are going through the hardest part right now. It will get better! As your oldest gets just a little bit older, things will ease up.

Do you have any family nearby that come over to help once in awhile?

In your area, do you have a drop-in daycare you can look into?
Hang in there & try to get rest. That's priority #2 after you take care of your kids!

You are in a total "hell period." Whenever I see pregnant women with a small baby, I smile and think "never again." It is literally throwing yourself in hell. There is no time to shower, there is no time for anything for you, it's all about everyone else.

But, it is only momentarily and it will soon be over!

If you can, try to get some exercise time. In the morning, let the kids play around you while you workout. Or take them on a walk. And just remember, you will have more "me time" in about 7-8 months. Keep focused on that, and keep reminding yourself it's only a few more months.....

edited to add:
Take lots of deep breathes and when you are feeling frustrated/angry, take a TO. I go to my bedroom, close the door, take a few deep breathes, and then remind myself it is the exhaustion. I then remember that I chose this life, and that I deep down love it. Reaffirming my commitments to my children and hubby let me let go of some of the frustration. I can then pull myself together and start over. Remember, there are only bad moments, not bad days.

Prioritize. Make a list of five things you want to accomplish every morning. A shower can be on that list. If you do all five, you have succeeded. If you do more than that you are amazing. Remember, the kids are only so young for a short time. It gets easier. Soon enough the kids will be five and six and they will be in school, and they can bathe themselves, and they are so much easier and fun to take out, and you will have more time for your own pursuits, and you and your husband will be less stressed.

Make sure he gets a full blood work-up, including a testosterone test. i'd be worried that he has a thyroid condition too.

At 26 he should have at least a morning erection. This is a physical issue, if he isn't on some sort of medication that could cause erectile dysfunction. You should get a babysitter and go into the doctor appointment with him, and share this problem with the doctor together.

I hope this can be handled. Good luck to you both!

Dawn

You need a break.
Tell Hubby to take the kids out on the weekends.

I drink coffee.

I have 2 kids who are now 5 and 9.

My Husband was going to school AND working at the same time... and, because of that *I* did everything. Because, keeping up grades and GPA is important.
The SPOUSE, has to know that.
AND while going to school.... the other spouse has to help immensely.
The school advisor actually tells the married students (at my Hubby's university), that a Student Spouse... will be VERY busy, and it has actually caused.... divorce in some cases.
So, you both need to, be aware... of ALL that a Student/Mom/Spouse... has to do... and that the other Spouse... has to help in any way.
It is not easy.
I lived that, when my Husband was going to school. For OVER 2 years. I HATED it. But it could not be helped... he was getting his degree.
BUT Being a "single parent" of a Spouse/Student... is NOT easy.

BUT you need a break too.
It is a human need.
BUT you also have to realize... the STRESS that the other Spouse has... while their Spouse is a Student. It is not easy.
My friend's Husbands, were students too. Real rocky.

It is a big sacrifice... that the both spouses do... while one is going to school. My Husband took it for granted... EVERYTHING I did, while he was going to school.... I was down in the trenches with everything.... 7 days a week, day and night. Because, he studied 7 days a week day and night and had online classes AND classes on campus.
He didn't realize everything I did... until he graduated.
It is not just a woman thing, that all the tasks fell on me... It was because he was going to school. It was a good cause... and he got his degree and a better job. But so in the end, \ts was worth it. And I am glad, it is over. But it is also... very stressful on the other, Spouse.
And YES... I was just SO tired... just like your Spouse.
He is under stress too. And doing a ton. Too.
Your Husband is stressed.... by all of this... too.

As I said: My Husband was a student too. And I was the Spouse. I lived that. I know how it is. It is not easy.