How Do You Do It All?

You don't do it all. You do some of it. Pick something that you will notice once it's done. It can be overwhelming. Do some and ask for help from someone that loves you and the boys.

Krist,
This is my opinion and you know we all have them. I am a mother of 4 with the oldest 25 and the youngest 12 but when mine were much younger I was a stay at home mom. I finally decided after stressing over my house, that if my kids were fed, clothed and well adjusted and loved, that my time spent with them was a lot more important than whether or not my house was spotless. If people came to see my house then they needed to stay home. Being a mother to my children was my main priority and if I managed to mop a floor, clean a toliet or fold a load of laundry that was fine too.!! Hang in there, it gets easier as they get older.

Have you ever heard of Flylady.com? She's a bit much for me (for example I never ever dress to the shoes, we don't wear shoes in the house! but she gives great tips on keeping your house clean)
Here are a few things I do -
I get up early in the morning. DH is up first and gets ready for work, and he usually has breakfast with our son, who is also an early riser. While they eat, I get showered and ready for the day.
Run the dishwasher every night. In the morning I or DH empty it, and during the day I just load it up again.
I do one load of laundry a day. Some Saturdays I might do 2 if its piling up. Sometimes I throw the load in the wash right before I go to bed, so I just have to put it in the dryer in the am. As soon as the load is done, its folded and put away - no ironing. I usually do this during my son's morning tv time. He watches and it keeps him occupied, otherwise he's 'helping' me with laundry, his help meaning throwing piles of folded clothing around. Since I do one load daily, they aren't to big, and I have time to make beds too. Really changes the room's appearance with a made bed.
During nap time I take a few minutes to rest for myself first, then quickly tidy up the toys my son played with. I keep a large bin in our living room and toss all the toys in it. Then I move on to one big chore per day - vaccum, dust, clean bathroom. If I have time, I'll put the toys in the bin in their place before he wakes up. If not, at least they aren't scattered in the house.
Bedtime routine is hubby's job, so while my son gets ready for bed I do another toy round up. Usually there's enough time to get the toys put away before he's asleep.
Hubby also had chores he is expected to do -he mops the kitchen floor weekly, and cleans one bathroom bimonthly, along with trash and bedtime duty. He used to complain that he worked and shouldn't have to help with housework, but I told him flat-out that MY full-time job was to keep his son alive, safe, healthy, fed, loved, and stimulated, and that housework was not part of that - I do that in addition to my full time job, so he needed to do his part in addition to his full time job.
My home is by no means as clean as it was before I had a child, and will be going further down hill as soon as #2 comes - just a few weeks away! But I feel it is at least presentable, and everyone has clean clothes. In a few years my kids will have more responsibilities to help keep things clean, but right now just babes, and won't be that way for long. Enjoy them first, worry about the house later.

You are blessed to be able to stay at home with your little angels. Even if I could I don't know if I would take on the job of being a SAHM. I commend you for that. Have you tried doing specific tasks on specific days? I think we overwhelm ourself by trying to do too much in one day. Also set some deadlines, whatever is not done by noon or 1, will have to be dealt with the next day. It's hard to try to juggle so many things. I have found that by moving most of the activity in one room whether a den or bedroom, kind of frees you up to clean the other rooms better. hang in there and enjoy your boys -- your house will always be there -- your boys won't.

K., I can sympathize. I am a stay at home mom of a 2 1/2 year old little girl and a 4 month old little boy. It is tough getting it all done. What I have done that helps me is I schedule their naps at the same time. My kids take a least a 2 hour nap. I choose to do whatever needs to be done around the house at this time. I pick up their toys, catch up on laundry, etc... Then what I call my "super clean" day is a day when my husband take them for a while and I vacuum, mop, dust, etc... Also when I put them down for the night I usually do a quick walk through of the house picking up any toys or things off the ground and putting them up. I bought these cute clothes hampers at pottery barn kids but I use them to throw their toys in because I can put a lid over it. It is tough finding time to get it all done but if at then end of the day you don't get it all done don't worry about it. You kids are definitely more important than a clean house. Sometimes my kids are watching little einstein and that gives me a few minutes to tidy up as well. My husband helps with the kids at night by giving them their baths and getting them ready for bed. This gives me extra time as well. I hope this helps! Try not to get overwhelmed or stressed out about it. Trust me if any one comes over that has kids themselves they will understand. Good luck!! :)

Hi K.,

Yikes! I don't get half the work done that these other moms do! I agree that having your hubby do some is important--I'm sure your day is at least as busy as his! Also, I agree that you should relax a little about it--people would wonder what you did to/with your kids all day if your house was REALLY clean w/two little ones.
The one new thing I'd contribute is to get your oldest son involved. Let him sweep with a kid broom. My daughter sweeps with me and loves it (we have hardwood floors). I ask her to do one side of the room while I do the other, and then we switch. That way I get to sweep both sides without her getting into my dust pile! When it's time to clean the bathroom or the table or something, I give her a spray bottle of vinegar and water and a rag to use. The spray is a great eco-friendly and non-toxic cleaner, so she can feel like she is doing her part. This teaches a great lesson about responsibility and helping out, and boosts her self-esteem (as long as you aren't critical about the results!). Obviously you can't expect the little guy to do thorough cleaning at this point, but it'll keep him busy and happy. Also, consider playing some fun and upbeat cleaning music (merengue? tango? punk rock? polka? See what your local library has). This should keep all parties a little happier and a little more motivated. Perhaps some dancing might even break out!

Good luck, and enjoy your kids!
L.

If your house is out of control, take one day (hire someone to watch the kids or enlist your husbands help) with no one else at home and CLEAN your house. Then after you have cleaned the house thoroughly use nights when the kids are in bed to pick up anything laying around. I pick up during the week and clean little amounts at night, then 1/2 day during the week I spend cleaning. I work 30 hours a week, so I want to spend the majority of the rest of my time with my 3 year old son. Sometimes we make it fun and he "helps" me clean.

I have learned that I have to "let it go" and realize that my "job" during the day is to take care of my kiddos. ANything else that gets done is a bonus. That's how I look at it. I do what I can when they nap and A LOT gets done on the weekends and in the evenings when my husband is home. I set my priorities too. Like, dishes for bottles and a load of laundry when there's blowouts! I love to cook, but have given a lot of that up too (for now!) Good luck and hang in there.

Hi, I don't do it all, I just do little bits at a time and try to balance the housework and the quality time spent with my kids (boy age 3 and girl age 17 months). I tend to spend more time with my kids and sometimes let the housework go a little. I understand about the embarrasement about the house, there are times I feel that way too. Then I think, what is more important that my house is spotless or that I have spent an hour planting plants in the garden with the kids or visiting the zoo or just playing cars with my son. Don't get me wrong, it does bother me when housework gets way behind, but I tend to let it go while they are awake and save the clean up for after they are asleep. Or just take 10 or 15 minutes here or there to do a few chores. Sometimes it helps if I let them help me clean, although it takes twice as long. And as far as the embarassment, those who have kids will understand about the house, and I would hope that they would know that you are a better Mom because you choose to spend quality time with the kids instead of ignoring them and keeping the house spotless.
Hope this helps, I am in the same boat and am just now learning to relax a little and remember what is most important for me and my family!

Hi K.,
First of all, dump the panic. You do not mention the size of your home so I'm going at this blind. It's my suggestion that, if indeed, your home is a pigstye, you get it professionally cleaned initially. Then divide areas to clean between 5 or 6 days. For example, the kitchen is an every day task, so, Monday clean the bedrooms, do laundry. Tuesday hallways, stairs,general dusting. Wednesday, bathrooms, mop kitchen. This way you won't spend the whole day chasing your tail and be able to maintain the housework in organized tasks. This should allow you to spend time with your little ones and maybe even allow you to do your hobbies. When you get overwhelmed sweetie, break the task into manageable pieces. Good luck and God bless. A. B.

Dear K.,
Iwas facing the same issue. I also worked at school and chose to be a stay-at-home mom so I could watch my children grow. Being a stay-at-home mom is like having a full-time job but instead its twenty-four seven instead of nine-to-five hours. I truly enjoy being a stay-at-home mom but balancing housework and entertaining the kids is a challenge. I have a 13 year old, a three year old, and a two year old. YOur children are younger than mine, but I'll share a couple of ideas that I use. When I need to load the dishwasher, it's colortime. I put them coloring at the table, that way I can see them while I'm cleaning the kitchen. And when It's time to unload the dishwasher I have them help. They of course only pick up the spoons but it keeps them busy while I unload the rest. And when I'm mopping I have them some little mops and they "help me" at least that's what they are thinking. And when I'm unloading the washer they help push the clothes in the dryer. Now folding clothes is very hard, because they always want to unfold it. So, I wait and fold while they nap.

Now, with your two at the age they are I can remember I used to bring the playpen and pile it with toys wherever I was cleaning. And with your older one just incorporate a way that he thinks he's helping. Get him a little mop, etc. It does take a lot of creativity but remember, a house doesnt' have to be spotless. I was a neat freak before I had children and now I've come to realize that with children, you have to adjust and everything will not be perfect but that's okay because just think your enjoying the most special time of their lives. Keep your head up and don't stress to much. Also don't be afraid to ask for help from your husband.

Sincerely,
A.

I like to write a "Things to Do" list every Sunday for the week and post it on the fridge. It feels good to cross things off too! You def have your hands full since they are both still in diapers,sippy cups,bottles, etc. The good news is that it gets better as they get older! They both are out of diapers quickly, they can ask for what they wanbt and best of all they entertain each other. (My kids are 13 mo apart) So dont sweat it--you have a 40+ non paying JOB right now so just know there will be plenty of time for cleaning for the rest of your life :)

PS My sanity starting coming back when they were about 3 and 4 yrs old

First of all, ease up on yourself! Understand that with 2 little ones your house is not going to be spotless all of the time and that is OK. But you may need to re-group and get more organized. My kids are grown now, but were 12 months apart. Believe me, I do understand being overwhelmed by it all. I found that I had to plan things better. Plan my meals, trips out. It is hard enough to get out with 2 little ones. For a while, I didn't even go anywhere without a shopping cart in the parking lot. I tried to put in an hour in the morning prior to them getting up or after they went to bed. Try to do mopping, vacuuming, dusting once a week and a basket for each of the kids rooms in the kitchen or laundry area out of the way (by the front of the house). A couple of time a week, take it and put things away. Having containers, helped me to stay better organized so I had a place for everything. I had a small basket of toys in the living room in the corner and it was quick and easy to keep it picked up in there. Meal planning is essential. I would plan my meals once a week and do my shopping once a week. If you can get a few lbs. of hamburger or chicken and cook it up with onions, garlic and peppers, put it in zip lock bags and freeze (cool first), it is a big time saver for a lot of meals. Crockpots are your best friends. For the 18 month old-Make your own lunchables. If you can swing it financially, Moms day out at many of the local churches is great. For about $75/mo. your child can go for a few hours twice a week and give you a break and some one on one with the baby. And most kids really love it. Some go in the summer months and some do not. For summer, it might be a good idea to get a teenage girl to come while you are there to play with the kids and give you a chance to get some things done a lot quicker. Even once a week would be a big help. If you can squeeze in a 20 minute nap during their nap time, you will be ahead of the game and less stressed. If possible, maybe hubby can pitch in a little more with certain chores around the house. The laundry-just keep it going. If you live in the Tulsa area-Reasors Grocery store has a program where you can send in your list on line and just pick it up when it's ready. Really a great idea. But again, organization is the key. If there is any time you can squeeze in a 20-30 min. walk in the mornings or evenings or maybe even as a family with the weather getting warmer, it is a great stress release, mentally and physically. Best of luck to you.

Hi K.,

I am so with you on this one!! I have a 2 1/2 yr old daughter and just now figured it out. I do the dishes while she eats breakfast at the counter, then I let her watch t.v. while I get shower(if im lucky) and get dressed. I try to do laundry while she naps and save heavy duty cleaning for when she is in bed at night. I have her dad take her out for an hour or two on weekends so I can catch up on things I didn't get done during the week.

Good luck!!

I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!! I am a stay at home mom with a 3 yr old and a 6 month old. I am having the same problems.. its very frustrating! I have never had my kids on a strict schedule, but I'm trying to establish one now.
I'm tired of the house being a crazy mess and never feeling like I get anything done. I find that keeping a schedule seems to help a bit. Some days better than others.. but everyone has told me that on the days when things are too hectic to get any housework done I just need to relax and let it go. In the end, your kids won't remember if the laundry and dishes were done in a timely manner, what they WILL remember is how much quality time was spent with them. You are doing the right thing by focusing on them!
As for not having anyone over to your house, I'm sure that people are more understanding about this than you think.
A good friend of mine has come over a few times just to entertain the kids while I spend time cleaning. This helps a lot.. you might try that as well.
I hope this helps.. if not, then maybe just to know that there are other moms out there going through this too!!

Try Flylady.com If you follow it, it works.

Hello dear, I do hear you loud & clear. I had 3 kids so I understand what you are saying. But let me give you some advice from someone who has grown kids. The years will FLY way too fast before you know it they WILL be gone & your house WILL be clean & you will miss these times.
Here are some suggestions. Try to clean when the kida are napping. Do you have friends, relatives etc that can watch the kids while you clean?? Try looking at a Mothers Day Out program at a local church to take the kids to for a few hours so you can clean. Set a goal for each day dont try to do it all at once. Most of all DONT beat yourself up for a dirty house you have kids you need to make memories with. Good luck dear.

Try 2 things:

1. Flylady.net
2. Remember your babies are only little once and there are plenty of years later down the road for your house to be spotless. In the meantime, pick your housework battles, ask your hubbie to pitch in, and try to relax and enjoy the mess!

M.

Go to FlyLady.net. She will help you get it done.

I too am a new stay-at-home mom, and it's so hard to get any cleaning done because the baby claims all my attention and only takes very brief naps - only enough for me to eat breakfast, shower, and then later eat lunch! Basically it's hard enough to just keep the clutter picked up and I never have time to do the actual cleaning like mopping, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, etc. I feel bad about leaving my 4-month-old baby in her bouncy seat or play mat to entertain herself to go and clean, so I normally don't, I just wait til my husband gets home. When my husband gets home from work, I hand the baby over to him, and I immediately start (before I get too hungry) washing all her bottles from the day, washing dishes, and I put in a load of laundry, and then start dinner. That's really all we have time to do, so we have hired someone to come in and clean once every two weeks, to get the deep cleaning done, like mopping, bathroom, kitchen, etc. AND she can't clean if every surface is covered in clutter, so that motivates us to pick up all the clutter before she comes, so at least the house is clean some of the time! I don't know what we would do without her, so if you have the budget for it, I would recommend getting a cleaning service. We can't afford any more than every two weeks, but even once a month would help to keep the house from getting too gross! Sometimes it gets a little dirty right before she is due to come again (we have 3 cats and a dog, so you can imagine the pet hair that is everywhere), but since she comes regularly, we have found it is good enough. Plus we have a small house, so it doesn't take as long as a larger house, so it is less money if they charge hourly. Also I have been using my Baby Bjorn front carrier a lot with my 4-month old (is the 6 month old too heavy for something like that?) which means I can do quite a few chores because she loves being carried around in that thing. But that doesn't help with the 18 month old, I know! Maybe you could get some toy cleaning supplies like a little broom or just give him or her a dustrag to "clean" (play) with, so he or she is "helping" Mommy clean, maybe that would help you get some stuff done, because your child is occupied for a little bit and you are doing it together so you are spending time together.

I'm sure lots of people have answered this same answer. They did the last time I gave this advice. Look up www.FlyLady.net and do what ever she tells you! Join her site, shine your sink (she will tell you how) and follow exactly what she tells you! I promise you, if you don't try to get ahead, just follow her instructions to the letter, things will get better. Almost 500,000 people would tell you the same thing! (That's how many people have joined her site!) Best thing of all, a bunch of sites charge to tell you what she tells you for free!

K. J,
This could have been my own post when my children were younger! I honestly thought I was going to lose my mind sometimes! What saved me was a group called flylady.net, it's free to sign up. Just don't get overwhelmed reading all the emails that come your way. Her motto is "You can do anything for 15 mins." "You are NOT behind! Jump in where you can!" Just PLEASE go to this website and check it out for yourself. It saved my sanity and my house! (it still does!) I hope it will help you.
Blessings,
L.

Hey girl, I know exactly how you are feeling. Unlike yourself I'm not a stay at home mom, but over the last two weeks I have been. My two year old had surgery so I stayed home. My suggestions to you is that since you are an educator is to come up with a schedule of events including naptime (at least an hour)to help keep the children busy. Perhaps table activities for the older one and various activities throughout the day. However with the 6 month old this will be difficult. Try play pen time, tummy time. You will be amazed what can be accomplished in an hour. Good Luck! GOD BLESS!

Hi K.,

I feel for you. My son is 29 months and my daughter is 11 months. I think I'm just starting to ge a handle on housework. I to felt very overwhelmed and wondered how in the world do I keep up. Your little ones are still young and still very dependent on you so that makes it hard for you.

Starting last week I did one load of laundry a day. My goodness what a difference that makes. You spend less time folding and putting away clothes. As for the actual housework, I've been trying to do one chore a day. If it's the bathrooms, mopping floors, or vacuuming. That way I get something done and we as moms know how important it is to get something done in a day, but we are not having to find entertainment for our children because we are trying so hard to accomplish something.

The one thing I've had to realize as a neat freak is spending precious time with my children is much more rewarding than cleaning house. It has taken 29 months to realize this and to stick with it. The other thing that has helped a lot is I put my son in Mother's Day Out program twice a week. He has something for him and has a lot of fun while you are either spending time with your younger one or having to clean house, run errands or grocery shop.

I really hope this helps you.

Good for you K.--to have a variety of artful interests. I wonder do you have time for it? You will never be able to do it all. You have young children and you want to spend tine with them. Great! But you have to realize the pressure you may be putting on yourself. I am sure your house is clean. Be sure to leave the house and just walk through the mall with the kids for a break. (In strollers of course) I recently retired and my husband who was a big help when I was working would come home and he would park on the sofa and look at TV. It drove me crazy--cause when I worked I came home and worked some more----til time to go to bed mostly. I made myself go to my sewing room if only for 10 minutes to get my stress off. You may want to consider drop in a couple of times a month. If you plan to go back to work this may make it easier on your boys.

Don't be hard on yourself---you are taking on a difficult job of running a home and family. When you are much older you will wonder how you did it. I wonder how did I do it and come home and work around the house. Not to mention tending the garden.

i am also a sahm with a 7 yr old, 3 yr old, and 6 mo old. i also have a daycare where i tend to 5 other children. i am able to keep my house clean for the most part by using flylady.net. do not be overwhelmed at first, her main message is taking baby steps, eventually you will get there. i do most of my cleaning during naptime, then a quick cleanup before bed, if ever i need to work while they are awake, i turn on music and dance around and make it fun! then i don't feel so guilty anyway :-) my biggest secret probably is getting up and getting a shower, hair fixed, and dressed to my shoes BEFORE the kids get up. that away i feel great and don't put off "getting ready" all day. good luck and best wishes!

Visit the http://flylady.net website. flylady is an encourager, organizational advisor. She will give you hope and ideas of where to start and how to proceed.

My favorite saying is Jump in where you are.

L., a Flybaby from Oklahoma

K.,

It is a balancing act. I have 4 children and at one time had about 3 home all at the same time. Give yourself time to re-adjust.I found that I would do a major cleaning once a week and just keep things picked up throughout the day. I actually got the most done when they were napping. I tried to get them to nap at the same time which usually gave me at least 1 full hour to do the major stuff(vaccumming, mopping,ect.), and I kept the light stuff like laundry folding or keeping up with dishes while they were tottling around.

You may also ask for help from a family member once a week to do the major cleaning and then maybe you won't feel so overwhelmed.

Just enjoy your kids they grow so quick and the cleaning will always be there.

Try looking at the website Flylady.net. It has some helpful ways of staying on track. Do I do it all and is my house spotless? NO!! But it does help. I have three boys and work part time. It seems like all I do is laundry, but flylady helps! Good luck and enjoy your time home with your boys. They will be in school and playing ball before you know it!

1. Get a a sling or, better yet, a wrap or other carrier that will hold your 6-month old closer than a sling usually does (and slings can swing around as you do chores). That way you can just talk to him and keep him with you as you go. The 18-month old, well, my only suggestion is to have him join you as you move through the house. Tell him stories, bounce a ball back and forth, whatever it takes. Get him involved in picking up by making it fun, just like getting babies and kids involved in mama's exercise routine, shopping, etc.

2. RELAX! Don't be embarrassed. You're the mother of two very young children. Take care of the very minimum and don't stress about the rest. Guests absolutely understand! Anything closely resembling a perfect home is completely unrealistic at this point. Your goal is to be there for your babies, and the more you can enjoy this special time with them, the better and more bonded your relationship with them will be.

L.

Hi K.

I'm a stay-at-home mom, too. My kids are 15, 13, & 5. I've been a homemaker for 6 years, and I still can't seem to keep up with everything. Between running them to their practices, school, games, church, cooking, & cleaning, I'm exhausted! I can't seem to keep up with laundry! If you get any great advice, please, please send it my way.

Thanks,
H. C

K.
I have OCD! So my kids sometimes suffered b/c of it. I could not stand their room to be dirty. They would go dump their toys and I would go right behind them and pick it up. I about drove myself crazy and them to. So, I took deep breaths, did not go to the room while they were playing except to call them by name to know they were ok. I organized my cleaning and learn to cope with it. A house that stays clean is'nt lived in. I am not talking about dirtiness I am talking about toys on the floor a little dust here and there. They are only little one time so I had to chose carefully. I would clean early in the mornings, while they were taking naps, and at night when they went to bed. Sometimes when I was doing clothes they would want to help! I would give them a play time everyday and clean while they were playing. Maybe these things will help you! God Bless A.

Dear K.,
I am a stay at home mother of 4---9, 7, 4 and 13 month. My house stays clean without the help of my husband or any hired help. It's not because I am supermom, but because my four children do their part.
If your 18 month old is old enough to pull toys out, he is old enough to learn to put them away. Trust me, it is much easier to teach him now than later! When you're cleaning, give him a broom (he really won't be doing much, but he'll think he is and praise him for being a good helper to mommy), a dust rag, etc. Teach him his colors as you sort out your laundry together and let him help you put it in the washing machine. When your washing dishes, put a chair up to the sink for him and let him "help" your wash dishes. He may not be doing it to your "standards", but you are teaching him now to be a hard worker---a concept that most parents fail to teach their children. Remember, train your children while their young! It is much easier to train from the beginning than try to "retrain" when their older.
If you sit your children in front of the T.V. so you can get your work done, what does it profit you or them? You get tired and frustrated and you teach them to be lazy. Take the time with them now to train them. And in doing so, you are building a relationship with them and they will soon want to please you.
Many blessings!

I've been there! First family my kids were 18 mos. apart & my husband wouldn't help w/the kids or house but expected both to be spotless...was so frustrating! When I put them down for a nap I'd clean like crazy then be so pooped when they were awake...so...when they go down so do you...a 39 min. snooze does wonders...then let them entertain themselves...when the fuss,for no reason, change toys or area of play. I finally realized to do one room a day & just "pick up" the others helped...raising a second family & my priorities are different...it's still a battle but a routine is the only hope & stilly try to take at least 30 min.to an hour for me to just chill out...good luck...!

HI K.,
I can relate,,,,,,My Kids are now grown, but remember going through the same thing when they were small.......I was one that wanted my house clean so I first worked on getting the kids on the same sleeping(napping) schedule ,,,,,,I started laundry (everyday) first thing before they got up, and then I would pick 1-2 things to do while they were asleep. If they are not sleeping well for you, then you may need to get them used to occuping themselves for a little so you can get something done...My oldest daughter has a six month old and she will put her in her jumper for a little bit so she can get something done when she is not napping. I know you have a 18 month old as well, but maybe you can put him with a activity that he will play with for alittle while...I would play music and have plenty of busy things placed in one area so they can maybe play together, on the floor ect.....I know its not easy..but the best is try and get them on the same schedule, and that will make it alot easier.......Please know it will get easier and YOU will get through it......Good luck....J.

Fist of all if anyone tells you they "Do it all" they are full of it! I am new to the staying at home thing myself and have been known to be a little anal about my home. But I have QUICKLY learned it is easier said than done being home with a 3 year old and 1 yr old and keeping clean house all the time! Try taking it in 15 minute intervals. Do what you can in one room for 15 minutes then take a time out & spend some quality time with the kids. Do this several times a day and things should start to look up. I have had to let go of cleaning my girls' rooms all day long so, we try to do this before nap and before dinner. Don't be so hard on yourself I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job! Have fun!!

There is no way to do it all. LOL but this Website gives you a stradegy to get on your feet. Flylady.net. There mottos are awsome: "you can do anything for 15 min" , "Your not behind just jump in where you are" , and "baby step your way to to a cleaner home" are some of my faves. You will need a timer for the program but all the info and resources are free. I hope this helps, I know it has for me.

Spend time with them when their awake, and clean up when they are asleep.

Pick one or two rooms to clean each day, and if the dusting doesn't get done it will be there tomorrow.

Get your husband to help, even if it is just vacuuming the floors.

You sound like what the FlyLady would call a SHE (sidetracked home executive). I used to be like you but found her common sense approach to keeping up was just what I needed. Check her out at http://www.flylady.net/index.asp. You will be glad you did.
S. R
Mother of 5

Flylady.net helped me out

K.,

This is probably the #1 struggle I face in my day-to-day life. But, I never have been good at keeping my area picked up, even when I was a child still at home.

My children were about your age when I discovered FLYlady's website. I joined an on-line group through FLYlady and it's with the encouragement of those ladies that I even begin to keep my head afloat. The best idea I have gleaned so far is to set my timer for 15 minutes and work on one task. Even at the ages of your children they don't usually HAVE to have you, they just think they do. I have always put the baby or toddler in a sling and did my housework that way. (I didn't like the idea of using a playpen or swing...seemed like a type of cae.) Most of my friends use the childrens' naptimes or after they are asleep for the night to do their housework but honestly, by 9:30 at night, I am no longer in the mood to deal with dishes. Besides, that's the only time I can be with my husband.

Good luck and let us know if you have any breakthroughs!

K.

When I stick in my routine of picking up at night and dishes before bed and a loaad of was a day I do wonderful at keeping the house in order to where I can focus on the closets etc...but sometimes it does go crazy being a SAHM and the routine flies out the window.Having the house in order to start is the hardest challenge but from there it gets easy. My husband is also great he seesme homewith our daughter and understands that I work all day like him and he helps with various things around the house not just the garbage and gras either. One thing that hashelped with laundry when the system works is that every person laundry gets washed by its self so washing and putting away taks less time, now there are cases when things get mixed but you tske itin stride and go on. Blessings to you and your family as you go through this transition~J.

Hi K.,
I'll share what Really helped me. I talked to a counselor b/c I thought something was wrong with me-I was told it's HARDER for former Full-time working women to become SAHM's Full-time-even if it's only temporary. You no longer have a time frame imposed on you-by your job once you are home.
I use FLYLady system- www.Flylady.net
It helps you set up routines (which I'm still working on)and take small measures (babysteps) to get your house feeling more like a Home and have peace and calm there.
I "fall off the wagon" sometimes and my husband will ask me if I'll get back to that "Flystuff" b/c I feel better and the house looks better. Most of All Flylady Crew doesn't want you to Beat Yourself up about the things you can't change and they truly want to help you improve your life. They give you tips for dealing with housework With Kids and have specific ideas for getting it done with Babies. Most of All they tell you to Take Care of YOU, b/c if you are tired and stressed you won't be as good for your kids/husband if you Aren't. Timers are encouraged (Pushed really) and truly I have found that setting one and working with it-You Can Do ANYTHING for 15 minutes!!
Hope it helps. If you want to send me a message and I'll email you-my 25 month old made me a SAHM after working for a LONG time...I've been there.
Good Luck,
C.

I'm a mom of 4. the oldest is graduating this year. How I stayed at home is I volunteered once or twice a week. Went to playgroups, started some babysitting co-ops where we each babysat once a week for free then got a break from the kids the other weeks. I also played with my kids a whole lot. I took them out to fine arts programs and got group rates with the other moms in the playgroup. We went to free things. We went to hands on museums. We had FUN! The house wasn't all that clean, but the kids were happy.

ps flylady.net is awesome! I still use it!

Enjoy your kids forget about the mess. You have to realize that what matter is that your kids are happy to be with you 24/7 because that what a kids want to be with their parents all day long. A truth parent is the one that dedicate that moment to their babies. I'm a single mom and i play with my son and have my house in a mess because we bring all the toys out we paint all over the place we play even with the blankets it what you want to make out of it so take advantage now because when they grow up you will not be able to do this things with them because it will be all about their friends

Hi K.,

I have 4 children 9,7,2, and 2 months. I agree, housework is a challenge!!!

A very helpful resource is Flylady.net. She has helped myself and a lot of other people keep up with the house without getting overwhelmed or sacrificing precious time with the children. Take a look around her website and join if you want to, I think you'll be encouraged. Good luck!!!

K.- I feel the same way! I wanted to let you know that I completely empathize with you- I'm embarrassed to have people in my house too! I don't have any advice really except that I just try to make sure I have quality time with my son during the day while the house work can wait because what's the point of us being home with them if we can't have quality time. I just do as much as I can in a day and if I know I'm having company- i get the house presentable and think- now I can keep up with it and it never stays. Maybe our husbands could help more :) I just think things will be easier when our kids get older. I know I didn't really help- just wanted you to know you are not alone!

Hi, K.!
I'm an at-home mom with 3 kids, my youngest is three. I have never enjoyed housework and am amazed at people who manage to keep their house organized and their kids happy. I've been home with my kids for a year and a half now and here's my strategy for keeping the house tidy. (Or at least tidier.) Maybe it will work for you.
1. Make a plan for what days to clean what rooms (clean, not just pick up). Once you figure how often things need to be cleaned (like once a week, what's twice a week, what's once a month, etc.) then it seems less daunting.
2. Keep things organized where it makes the most sense - like if your kids like to play with toys in the family room, keep a big cute basket nearby so you can easily toss them back in when the kids are through with them. Your older child would love to help play clean up
3. Do laundry several days a week instead of just on the weekend. It's so much easier and less stressful to do one or two loads at a time instead of tackling six loads on the weekend
4. Set a timer. I have 4 p.m. "edit floors" programmed on my iPhone so it beeps at me every day so I'll take a clean sweep of the house to pick up anything that's out of place. It usually only takes 5-10 minutes because I try to pick up as we go along. However, I let my toddler drag stuff out in the playroom upstairs the other day and still haven't picked it up. Yet overall, this practice helps me to look around at my space and see it through fresh eyes.
5. Practice acceptance. My negative attitude had a lot to do with my housework issues. Now that I accept that I am the one to clean up the house and clean the toilets (I have FIVE!) I don't hate it nearly as much. I chose not to hire a housekeeper (to save money) and to move into a bigger house, so I need to accept it and not complain. I used to complain about only having two toilets, so it's obvious one complaint is easily replaced by another. Our brains are evil this way. It's kind of like how they say if you force yourself to smile, you eventually will feel like smiling on its own. Sounds crazy, but it really works.
Good luck. Enjoy those babies.
M.

I had to teach myself not to try so hard. It wasn't easy. My kids deserved to be comfortable in their own environment, but I had to figure out what was most important and what I could live with. Maybe you could make a list of the chores, decide which ones take priority, and maybe designate certain chores to certain days. You can only work on so much at a time anyway, and kids grow up too fast to be more concerned with housework than with them! All you need is a little organization and to learn to accept how much you are able to accomplish. Making lists helped me and my husband see that I really did do something during the day to take care of the house. I only saw what was wrong, and he wasn't there to see the efforts I did make. So, one day I wrote down every thing I did that day, including the times I did them. Then I learned to make better use of the time. It can be done, but it's not a fast process. Take baby steps and make sure you don't just focus on what you haven't done.

I understand! It is so overwhelming trying to get everthing done AND spend time with your kiddos. A friend of mine sent me a link to the neatest site. It is called Motivated Moms. These wonderful people have made a year long to-do list that breaks down everyday chores and house-sized projects into easy to manage daily tasks. They cover stuff you never would have remembered and keep you from getting overwhelmed. They offer different lists to fit your personality and it only costs $8.00. There is even a two-week meal planner with it that you can make copies of. I downloaded mine a couple of weeks ago and have gotten much more done around the house and kept my sanity. My husband even helps out more. He can read the weekly sheet on the fridge and see where I might need help. It gives him options to pick from. Here is the link! http://motivatedmoms.com/ Enjoy!

I too am a stay at home mom. I have 4 children ages 10, 8, 5, and 3 and will soon add another baby to our family. It is not easy, but I found a web site that helps to break it all down and help you get and keep organized. It is www.flylady.net. To quote flylady "You are not behind, just jump in where you are". She helps you to get organized and stay organized and not living in CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome). Best of luck! Your children are lucky to have such a wonderful mother!

You have described my house. When my older 4 were little I would come home from working fulltime, play with them for a bit, then baths and bed and then I would clean. No biggy. House stayed clean. But when people are home, you have to clean up nonstop. Enjoy your boys- trust me the time flies. My older four are in school now, and I am home with my almost 3 yr old and my baby who just turned one. Sometimes my living room looks like a tornado went thru but I clean it every night before and after they go to bed. I teach them to pick up their toys, and now I vacuum it after they go to bed. Maybe make a chore chart for yourself of all the things you want to get done. Like clean the bathroom on Monday, dust on Tuesday, etc. and email your list to your hubby and yourself, and then at the end of the day when you make out your todo list for the next day, do an update on what you got done. Men don't understand that we don't always get stuff done. Like today my one year old had shots so I held him and rocked him a lot. No biggy. The laundry will be there later- I promise. But I also know how you don't want to live in a pigsty. I never lived in such filth till I met my 2nd husband and I have decided to go back to being the way I was before. I like a clean house. Wish me luck!

Pigsty? Honey you haven't been to my house. My thoughts on this is don't worry about it. Spend time with you kids and enjoy them. If you were to die today or tomorrow or next week...someone will clean it for you. Enjoy today and tomorrow and forget the rest. If people come to your house and think it is a mess and don't want to come back then you don't need them as a friend. A friend is a friend and should understand that you have two very small children and are tending to them. You children should be your first and top priority and forget the house....it will come together with time. Now go and enjoy your babies...

In my house if it gets done then that is great, if not I will catch it another day. I also don't have two little ones. I have a daughter that is 4 years old. I am expecting my second one in five weeks. Just with one kid my house is never organized. I cannot imagine what it will be like with two. I have learned not to panic about it. When my daughter turn 2 years old I enrolled her in Mothers Day Out at our church. She goes twice a week from nine to three. I get all my errands and cleaning done on those two days. But of course I only have one right now that is. I have a friend of mine that has three children, 1 month old, 1 1/2 year old, and a 3 year old. She makes a schedule of small things to do each day that do not take the whole day so she can spend time with her children (which to me is more important than cleaning). Like for example do two loads a laundry a day or dust entire house today. I think she has a schedule that says Monday I do these chores...and so forth. It works for her. Just remember don't forget to watch your children grow and have fun. When you miss those days with your children you will never get them back and before too long they are all grown up. Good luck! You will eventually find a schedule that you will be happy with.

Quit worrying about it. Those with kids understand, totally, and those without can't, no matter what you do. So it's best to just make sure your kids have a safe environment and don't worry about the rest of the housework. Your kids will be happier with you less stressed and a messy home than they would be with you spread thin and a clean home.

It took me a few months to gee a schedule going to where I finally felt like I could keep my house decent and spend time with the kids. One thing I found was taking 1 or 2 days and getting the house spotless. Then I would just pick up as needed and cleaning up a mess didn't take very long. Your 18 month old is old enough to learn to pick up so have him help in some chores. And I do most of my cleaning during nap time and bed times. I also pick one day a week to clean a room or 2. Tuesday I clean the upstairs bathroom, Wednesday the kids room, and go on like that. It helps the mess seem more doable. ANd the thing I wish someone would have shared with me is, your house is never as clean as you would like it. And that is OK as long as you are spending time with your kids. They grow up SO fast, so enjoy them even if that means a messy house. Most Moms understand the lack of time to clean, so don't worry about it!

Hi K.,

I too have a problem keeping up with the housework. I have two daughters (5 yr and 7 month) and it is EXTREMELY hard to keep the house clean. My husband thinks that I do nothing all day. But I do. I am a full time MOM!!!! I cook and clean, but the most important thing in my life are my girls. They come before anything. They grow way too fast to worry about what visitors think. It will get done...eventually. It took me a long time to adjust to the fact that the dishes would have to wait or that I'll just have to fold clothes tomorrow so that I could sit down and play with my daughters. Your sons need you, the dishes don't! Keep a positive mind about it because before you know it, they will both be in high school and you will have all the time you need to clean (and they can help too)! Good luck and God bless.

First off.. like many have suggested.. relax a little :)

Try and find another stay at home mom near you that will "trade" with you once or twice a week. One day you take her kids while she cleans and has some alone time.. then the next.. she takes your kids while you do the same.

And my personal favorite was when daddy would take the kids to the park for even.. a half an hour.. while I soaked in the tub, without a care in the world, with quiet music on.

If you can't find or don't want to trade kids.. just do your best.. and let the dust bunnies have a nice happy life till your kids get a little older. Kids only stay small for a short short while. Enjoy them.

I felt this same thing when my son was about 1. I don't know any "tricks" to keep it all under control, but I had an a-ha moment that really was my turning point. Our house stayed messy because there was so much stuff in it that moving one thing seemed to upset the balance. I was spending the whole day cleaning up things I had just cleaned up.
So, I went through EVERYTHING in the house and got rid of anything I didn't have an emotional attachment to.
For example: I found we had enough glasses and dishes (not all matching) for about 25 people to eat at the same time. I will NEVER need to feed that many people at once, so I kept the set of dishes that I love and got rid of all the rest. Got rid of all our plastic cups because they don't make me feel happy (kept 2 sippy cups), tossed the "keepsake" mugs and only kept 6 fabulous ones...
I also did it with toys, clothes, books, everything. I thought it would be a one time thing, but I do it every month now, and every time there is a little less emotional attachment to the clutter and a little more peace.
It hurt at first, but now I never miss the stuff, my son is 3, and he joins in my monthly culling sessions with abandon. He's already learned what it took me years to teach myself.

K., first calm down because this is not complicated. You have to approach this as a job because it is the biggest job you will undertake. That said, think of how you schedule your teaching day. You would never go to work without a daily plan or time schedule and so you have to do the same with your work at home. Break it down to must do daily, can do once a week, twice a week, monthly. Then break this down to a daily time frame. Laundry first thing in the morning. The wonderful thing about this chore is you can walk away from the machine and multi task something else. Try to include the kids into your routine, you do not have to stop and sit with them all day. You can't do that at school, you have to realize you can do it at home. They can be in a playpen while you clean a bathroom or make a bed and they will be fine especially if they can see you or hear you when you leave the room. They need to learn that you might be out of sight but you are always coming back and that will set them up for security as they get older. Let them be in the kitchen in the bouncy seat and high chair while you clean and cook. A healthy snack and safe kichen "toys" will entertain them long enough for you to get something done. I've raised 5 of my own, several foster kids, and now help with the grandkids and have been a stay at home mom for most of those years and I'm not bonkers yet. Hang in there, you can do this. Just make sure the kids are allowed to "help" as you go along and you'll be amazed at how fasinated they can be by the simple things. When the weather is warm enough you can put a playpen in the shade and you can do a little gardening and they will love it. It will be a stress reliever for you and a healthy day for them. Let dad entertain them at night so you can do the final sweep and mop before bedtime and he will have his bonding time and you can have solitude even though you will be doing a little work, you will enjoy that quiet time as much as he should enjoy one on one with the babies. Hope this helps.

One tip.....change your definition of "clean". I was a NEAT FREAK before baby and changing my definition of clean really
allowed me to put less pressure on myself. I am happily content to not have a perfectly clean house all of the time.
Most of my friends are stay at home moms too and when they drop by to an unperfect house they can relate and pass no judgement!

Remember the adage "Clean houses never last, hugs and kisses do". I was in the same boat. I basically had to ride it out until the kids were older they are 5 & 6 now. One thing I did that helped a lot though was limit their toys to thier toy room or bedroom only. If I found toys anywhere other than these rooms than I would put them in my closet for a week or so. I also tried the clean one room a day thing but my husband hated that. Having them help participate in the work sounds like a winner. Also your husband should pick a chore that is his everyday, like do dishes or laundry, preferably something that is hardest for you to get to with little feet under foot, for me this was mopping, the kids would follow me & not only get in the way but get injured from the floor being wet. With papa home I could keep them out of his way while he worked & let the floor dry.

Dear K.. I understand the need/desire for a "clean" house, which is all relative....keep in mind WHY you took the sabbatical...to stay home with your wonderful boys...make that your main goal. Start to teach the 18 month old to help pick up toys, etc...he's old enough. Take the energy and time that you are stressing out about the house and spend it reading, coloring, playing with your boys....my husband and i are recent "empty nesters" and even tho we did a lot of those things, i wish i had done more...the time flys so fast and you can't get it back....i was raised by an OCD mother and understand the "need" for clean...i don't know who these "flyladies" are but call them....several folks suggested it....just take the time with your kiddos...R.

Oh my goodness! You sound so much like me! I am 32 and I now have a 26 month old son and a 13 month old daughter. So they are 12 1/2 months apart! I quit my career as an architect to stay home with my children. I just found out I am 7 weeks pregnant. I know exactly how you feel about keeping your house clean. The answer is YOU CANNOT KEEP YOUR HOUSE CLEAN, at least now that is. When you finally realize that, you feel a little better. Notice I didn't say that you would feel a lot better. I have days where I look around and I feel so disgusted by the clutter and snacks that have been dropped on the floor by the kids. Nobody expects you to keep a Martha Stewart household. I try to remind myself that it will not be this way forever and that someday I will yearn for the days when my kids kept me so busy I couldn't keep my house clean. I was talking to my mother on the phone the other day and she said to me "Gosh, I wish I had someone here to dirty my house up." I just try to appreciate the "Now" of the situation. We are doing exactly what we are suppose to be doing because it is what is happening now in our lives.

I totally understand where you are coming from - I have three kids, 8, 4 and 1- and I work part time as well - I think I'm a pretty neat housekeeper, however my idea of neat and my husbands is totally different. His mom was way OCD while he was growing up, she never really let them play with toys or do art projects b/c she didn't want them to mess up the house - I grew up with a mom who wanted us to bake, and cook, color and paint and have tea parties with baby dolls. And while our house was always clean, there where toys out. One thing I do remember is we always had to pick up stuff after we finished playing with it, and saturday was chore day - I started dusting and vacumming when I was 7 - my son does the same. My hubby and I have gone around and around about this, b/c if he walks in and toys are out or things are on the counter it's like he's in a bad mood for the rest of the evening- I finally told him "When our kids grow up, chances are they will not look back at their life and say 'Gee my mom kept a spotless house' but they will look back and say 'My parents where great we had fun and made a lot of memories'" so my advice is cut yourself some slack the baby and toddler years fly by so fast. you'll have the rest of your life to obsess about the house but for right now love where your at - and don't be afraid to enlist the help of your husband - do a clutter patrol at night (basically making sure everything is in it's place) and pick one thing a day to clean i.e. the bathrooms on monday, the kitchen on tuesday, weed through the closest on wednesdays and then I use nap time to do one load of laundry a day....

Just try to enjoy your kids while they are small. I haven't had my house clean regularly since right before my third child was born. About ten years ago was the last time I was organized. Oh well, that mess will still be there when the kids have long gone. People are more important than having a clean house. That said, there are lots of good books out there about getting your house clean FAST. If you spend one-half hour a day housecleaning, you are doing great. I can't imagine how you even have time to take a shower, considering the ages of your kids. Ask for help. Give yourself a break. Ask this question again when the kids are older. Like both potty trained and in school. I bet you're doing a good job with them, yourself, and your house.

I understand your frustration! I also have two young sons close in age (15 months apart) and it was extremely hard to get anything done. In our house we have 11 different rooms. My husband and I take one room a day to really clean, windows, baseboards, etc. Each day of the week is the same room. Some days we have two rooms to clean, but they are like the guest room and the formal dining room--rooms we never use, so cleaning that day is easy. For instant today is Tuesday, so today we clean the master bedroom. For the rest of the house that day, we pick-up and spot clean, but nothing major--pretty much what we bring out we put up or what we spill we wipe up. It took awhile to get the hang of it and we also had to learn that we can't be perfect and get it all done. It took the first few weeks to get the house in some sort of shape, but it has gotten much easier, especially since my oldest is now 2 1/2 and knows how to pick up after himself.
Good luck.

Okay, I haven't read through the replies, so I don't know if you've already got this advice...but try out flylady.net to get your head above water. Don't be overwhelmed by the number of emails--the rules are to simply dive in where you are and not worry about what you can't do. You can do anything for fifteen minutes, so get a timer and use it for everything. And the Number One rule is to keep your sink clean. If you can't do anything else in a day, do that. Anyway, there's more about it on her website. With three girls, the youngest one special needs, owning my own business (outside the house) and so on...she was a lifesaver. I wasn't anywhere near perfect, but it was enough that I didn't go (too) crazy!

Multitasking...spend an honest hour on each one of ur projects and you will knock all of them down considerably and by th end of the week they all will be managable...just try it..you'll see...Good Luck Hon!

Hi K.,
I'll tell you what I do...I focus on one room a day for a thorough cleaning. Sure, I make the beds and pick up every day but I focus on deep cleaning one room a day and stick to it. My house still looks lived in, but I know it's clean and that's what counts. I also use this method in my fridge...I clean one shelf a week and rotate...my fridge is always clean and it's not an overwhelming job to look at. As the saying goes...you can eat an elephant, just take one bite at a time.
Good luck.
W. Q

K.,

I know it is tough...it seems like after you have one area clean and move to the next...the first one has been hit again. My suggestion would be...our church has a Mom's Day Out monthly. They keep the kids busy so you can get your things done. If you do not have a way to do this, then maybe work out a plan with a friend that can keep the boys for about 8:00 a.m. to noon to give you time to get some things done. You may find that a friend may want to swap times so they can get some of their things done too. Good Luck!!!

You can't do it all! Go to flylady.net and sign up for their daily email. The tips are so helpful! They would call your feeling "CHAOS" or Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. Ha! :) Cracks me up. They have a good attitude and approach house cleaning with humor. The basic idea is to do small amounts of housework at a time and to have a daily routine. One of their mottos is that you can do anything in 15 minutes. It's important to keep your house clean but your standards have to change when you have little ones. Have your 18 month old and your husband help when they can but most importantly, spend time with those babies. They are only little once. When they are grown and gone you won't think "I wish my house had been cleaner".

I was a SAHM for 4 years when my children were 2 and newborn twins. My house was in shambles due to me being depressed and and I am still trying to get it organized the way I want it, now I work and go to school so it is really hard.

I do it by doing it one room at a time. The best thing is get a friend or family member to watch the kids, either at your house or theirs, and just jump into cleaning. It might take a whole weekend. Do one room at a time. Get the big stuff, then worry about the smaller stuff later (such as dusting or vacuuming). You can do laundry as you are working on rooms, and when you hear the washer finish, can go move the clothes and save the folding/putting away for later.

Don't be a perfectionist, but only move to the next room after the big stuff in the first is cleaned, you can always go back and do the small stuff like dusting when the kids are napping or after they go to bed.

Flylady.net might be good fore you. I used some of the methods there and rearranged them to work for me.

Hi K.,
I have found that the major issues are laundry, trash, dishes and floors. Can you split those things up into 15 minute segments throughout the day? Maybe at the kids mealtimes and naptimes? Or maybe right after they go down for bed at night just spend 30 min. on fast mode to get to the big hunks? Dusting, sanitizing the bathrooms and real down and dirty scouring - I have someone come over once a month and I pay them to free up my valueable time. While they scrub an scour, I feel like I've spent my money wisely because I have more time to play with my little ones. I hope this helps!
K. (mom of four children)

Flylady.net
Seriously, she has saved my life!!

Just pick certain days that you do some housework like weds do the floors/bathrooms and do laundry another day-split it up so it wont seem so overwhelming and if you can get stuff done during the kids naps(not so noisy stuff)it will get easier if you can make yourself organized-try a calendar!

I know your children are young, but if you start now it does help in the future.Make it a fun game to clean up.I have a 2 1/2 yr. old daughter and we sing the clean up song.And don't forget kids love to do what ever mommie is doing.My daughter helps me do the dishes and she loves to help vacuum.Your getting stuff done and spending one on one time all at the same time.Your their hero, don't forget that.And as for people coming over.I say if they are your true friends they will understand that thats just how it is when you have kids.It will get worse so like I said start now.I can remember when all I had to do is prop my little girl up on the couch with some pillows and could clean my entire house.Now we clean and an hour later it looks like I did nothing.Don't get down I'm sure your a great mom and in the end thats all that really matters,not how many dishes are in the sink.Oh one more suggestion.Go to the park,get out of the house and forget about the mess for a while.Good luck