While I have never aspired to being a domestic goddess, I have never been accused of living in a pigsty, and friends/family do drop in and don't comment on how messy things are. That said...relax.
I've come to the conclusion that a)I don't HAVE to answer the door, b) I don't HAVE to answer the phone and most importantly, c) my friends/family aren't coming to see my house. They are coming to see me (okay, I WISH, they are coming to see my son! LOL)...and if they are coming to see how good (or bad) of a housekeeper I am, then I don't want them around! :) And for those who just "drop in", it's their own darn fault if my home isn't "pristine".
I keep the house picked up (at least I try!), but if there are toys scattered when I go to bed...oh well. They will still be there tomorrow. I would rather focus my time on my son and my husband; that time is precious. I will not be wishing that I was a better housekeeper when I'm 90 years old, I will be treasuring the times I had with my family.
Also, my best friend has three kids, and she used to be a "neat freak"...she will admit that she just needed to "relax and recruit", as she called it. She enlisted the help of her oldest and if her husband made any negative comments, she told him to get it done himself or be quiet. :) LOL
And remember, no one will remember your domestic prowess, but they will remember how well you took care of your kids. :)