How Do You Break Your Toddlers Bad Habits Without Losing Your Mind??

Updated on July 02, 2010
L.S. asks from Princeton, TX
18 answers

Ok so I thought I was pretty lucky with my son. When we took him off the pacifier he did great, when we switched from bottles to sippy cups didn't have any problems, when his baby sister arrived no issues at all. He is 27 months and sleeps in his own room all night long in his big boy bed but there's one little issue. Before he will lay down in his bed he sits in his swing and watches Elmo for about 30 mins. Yes I did say swing, as in a baby swing!! I know this is my fault, I allowed it to go on for way too long and now Im paying for it. His swing isn't a normal baby swing, it's the type that is a bouncer/swing combo so its really sturdy and very comfortable looking. He uses it like an older man uses a recliner, he likes to sit back relax and watch some tv before going to bed! We don't turn the swing on or anything like that and he is still awakw when we put him in his bed and has no problems then. However, obviously he is getting too old and too big to be getting in a baby swing every night before bed. When we take him and put him directly in his bed he throws a fit and repeatidly screams "chair, chair!" I think the best way to rid him of this habit would to completely remove the swing from the house, which Im planning on doing Mon. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help him and myself change this habit? I have a 6 month old daughter, which makes it difficult to spend hours sitting in his room until he falls asleep. Plus, I like to have my son in bed before I put my daughter to sleep because he likes to entertain her and keep her up! He has gone straight to the bed before when he was extremely tired but I like to get him in bed at the same time every night rather than waiting for him to get worn out. My next issue is nap time. He takes his naps in the chair and I have tried to get him to lay down in his bed for naps and he completely refuses. Nap time will be the hardest to break because he isn't ever really that exhausted by nap time. I know that it's my fault for allowing this to carry on for so long and I have def. learned from it but how do I fix it. My 6 month old daughter has a bottle then gets put in her crib, sometimes still awake, and has no problems. Has anyone else ever had this problem??? Im really not one for letting my kids just cry it out until they fall asleep so if anyone has any positive thoughts on how to fix this problem I would love to hear them!! Thanks in advance!!!

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone for the advice. My husband and I both read over them and discussed the different options that we can try! The chair is a very safe chair, he is still in the weight limit; I guess I was more concerned with when he gets to stay the night at grandma's or starts pre-k that he won't be able to sleep well because of this habit. Plus I have "that" mom who has told me from day one to never let a baby sleep in a swing because they can't relax and stretch. However, it's pretty obvious that this is the way he relaxes. I think we have decided to leave the swing in his room for a while but to start changing up his nightly routine a little at a time. He doesn't watch alot of tv, normally it's Barney in the am (this one just started), a "your baby can read" dvd in the afternoon during our learning time and Elmo at night. We're thinking maybe watching Elmo a little earlier or not at all and putting him in his chair at night with no tv, saying our prayers, and reading a couple of books. Then moving to the bed. This will let him still feel comfortable in his chair but cuts the time down before moving to the bed. I think it will probably help the transition to no swing easier too because we will still read to him when he goes straight to bed. It's actually nice to know that this isn't a big problem and people aren't looking at me crazy when I have a baby swing in my toddlers room! He is pretty good with transition as long as it's not too much at one time. We have gotten some great advice from all of yall and combined it all together to come up with what fits our family!! Thank you all so much!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from Topeka on

Why not buy him a new "Chair" that can take the place of his beloved swing??? Take him shopping with you and let him have a choice in what it is. There are some adorable child sized chairs out there that are not to expensive. Maybe one with a cartoon character or sesame street character on it.Or could you have him just cuddle up with you or Dad on the sofa to watch his Elmo? As for the napping in his chair...that is going to be a different matter altogether...I can forsee some real struggles with this!!! It may be that he is going to just give up his naps without his chair...but it was going to happen soon anyway so...don't fight that too hard. Could you talk him into just laying in his bed with some books to look at, and see if he doesn't fall asleep on his own at naptime?
One other thing that I want to mention...even though you didn't ask about this. My youngest daughter paid a horrible price for my putting her to bed with a bottle when she was a baby. She developed "bottle mouth"...and had cavities in her front baby teeth that actually traveled down the root to the permanent teeth!!! I would not recommend allowing a child to have a bottle in bed at night. It keeps the milk/formula in contact with their teeth all night long as they wake and comfort themselves with the bottle. I Wonder if you could just let her have water in her bottle in the crib? I know...another battle to fight!!!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Savannah on

A new chair that is for his age would be great. One of those soft foam ones that flip out to little beds or even an inexpensive rocking chair maybe??

Even if it is a issue in the begging, I'd warn him with a day count down. 3 days till we don't have the baby chair any more, 2 days till we don't have the baby chair any more and the night he goes to bed, get it out of the house before he wakes in the morning!! It may be an issue for him but remind him he is a big boy and that was meant for babies. He should be better within a few days about the whole thing. Kids are more resilient than we think sometimes.

Good luck!
S.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Portland on

I didn't make it thru your post or read the others. I do not see this as a bad habit. I nearly always have to read at least a few pages before I go to sleep. Is that a bad habit? Whatever works seems OK to me.

If swinging and watching elmo helps him get to sleep, provide a larger swing. You can make a swing with rope, a pressure bar used for chin ups put in the door way and a sturdy piece of plastic or wood. Or you can make a wooden frame.

Or get him a child size rocking chair and teach him how to rock.

As to sitting in swing for naps. It works. Transition him to a rocking chair.

You said that the earlier transitions from pacifiers, bottles worked. So transition him from the swing.

Actually, I finished reading your post and it sounds to me that the swing is still safe for him to use. So why don't you just let him use it? I am very confused. Doesn't sound like he has any bad habits. Sounds like he's a normal kid who has found something that is comfortable for him but it doesn't fit in with what you think he should be doing. Let go of the should and let him use what works.

When it's close to the time that the swing is too small, begin transitioning him to something else that is similar; that provides him with the same sense of comfort and security.

I think that you are a smart mama to have let him continue to use the swing. So stop blaming yourself. Life would be easier for a lot of people if they would focus on what works. You are doing fine!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Dallas on

I am not sure I see a problem. Maybe he is more comfortable in the swing and it helps him regulate to be able to go to sleep. It seems he just likes it and if he fits in it , then why not let him do it? Sometimes our bodies will tell us what we need as far as sensory imput and maybe he needs that before bed. Most of us have a routine before bed to get us ready. This seems very easy and not something I would take away from him. He is so young so I am assuming his crying is a way of telling you he may need that.
L.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.M.

answers from Portland on

You've written "obviously he is getting too old and too big to be getting in a baby swing every night," but I'm having trouble understanding why that is so obvious. Is it because he's actually getting too big to fit into it? It sounds like he still finds it comfortable. You mention that it's well made, so apparently his safety is not at risk. So I guess I'm wondering whether your reluctance to let him keep up this comforting ritual is based on some physical fact, or the idea of a "baby" swing, or the idea that it's a bad habit. I really wish you could explain why you find it a "bad" habit.

If all moms of sleep-resistant babies could find such a sure-fire, and relatively harmless, way to help their little ones unwind for sleep, I'll bet they'd jump at it. Your little guy is unwound and ready for sleep after half an hour in his comfortable chair, so much so that you can even put him in bed awake. That would sound nearly miraculous for lots of weary moms of poor sleepers. Since I don't understand what your objection is (maybe you have a really good one), I'd say let him keep the swing ritual until he can't comfortably fit in it any longer. An older child is usually easier to reason with, not harder.

I'm actually more interested in his watching canned entertainment before bed. Are you certain that at least part of the lure of the swing isn't that he also gets to watch Elmo? There's a fair amount of research into brain patterns that suggests TV is stimulating, addictive, and counterproductive to good sleep. If he's only getting half an hour a day, and his sleep is normal, there's apparently no real harm being done. But I'd be watching for a growing need or demand from him for more screen time, and the onset of sleep difficulties or nightmares, just in case.

If you are committed to getting him out of the swing, how about not making it a cold-turkey double loss for him all at once, since sudden losses can throw a toddler's sleep AND behavioral patterns off. Try allowing the swing but cutting off the tube, for example. Maybe you could read a book or play music for him while he swings. If he makes that adjustment for a week or two, try reducing the swing time by 5 minutes a week. You might be able to ease him out of this routine with relatively little stress for either of you.

Finally, look at what Dr. Harvey Karp does with toddler wants and demands in a series of interviews regarding his book The Happiest Toddler on the Block. He empathizes with demanding, crying, whining or tantruming children, emoting right alongside them, until they recognize he understands their expressed desires. This is very calming, and then the parent can introduce alternatives that the child can better hear. I have found it to work well with a number of small children I occasionally work with. Start with this video, then check out other related ones and see whether this helps you and your son:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ1428uYs2g&NR=1&f...

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Honestly, why not just get a toddler/childs swing chair? Ikea has some that bolt into the ceiling... as do several other stores.

As an adult I LOVE sleeping in a boat. The rocking motion is the most amazing thing. If I could sleep on a boat 7/365 I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Anyhow... the child's swing chair would work for the next 6 years or so... at any point he may just tire of it on his own... or if not, you'll actually be able to have a reasoned discussion with your 8yo that's just not possible with a 2 year old.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.T.

answers from San Francisco on

I am not sure why it is wrong.
You can replace the swing by a toddler rocking chair (my son loves his Fisher price bouncer-rocker). Then, you can put the little one to bed while he enjoys the chair.
I don't know which method you tried to wean him from the bottle and from the pacifier, but, as it was successful, you may try the same?

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.P.

answers from Dallas on

Have you tried finding a child-size rocking chair for him to use instead? He obviously likes the motion of the swing, so maybe if he had a rocking chair to sit in, it would be a more appropriate piece of furniture that still gives him the save movement.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.T.

answers from Dallas on

You say he uses the chair like an old man uses his recliner, have you thought about just getting him a more age appropriate recliner to transition to? My daughter's swing transitioned into a toddler rocking chair and she still uses it. A lot of furniture stores have the toddler recliners that your son could still nap in until you are ready to fight that battle.

Hope that helps.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from Boston on

My 2 year old daughter started wanting to go in the door bouncer again when we brought it back out for our 6 month old. I didn't want to let her do it at first, but she is still meets the weight limits and she really enjoys it. I decided to just get over it for now, there are enough other things to worry about. I figure she will either tire of it or become too big and not want to use it anymore on her own. I can see the frustration with nap time as it might be uncomfortable for him to sleep in it. But, again, if that is the reason stress how comfortable the bed is. If he still wants to sleep in the chair, then that is his decision.

1 mom found this helpful

S.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Get a child sized rocker or recliner. He simply has to understand he's too big, if he is. But like the other mom said, is he too big to get in? If it's really getting dangerous, by all means throw out the chair. If not, it sounds like a routine that's working.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.G.

answers from Portland on

Is there a way you can take a screw out so that the chair sits on the ground? That way maybe when he asks to sit in it you can tell him its broken?
Or better yet, just be honest with him- tell him he's getting too big to sit in the chair, but you'd love it if he sat on the couch like mommy and daddy do, or even in your lap for a little bit.
:)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.B.

answers from Dallas on

Wow-this is a tough one. He is in control already . Taking the chair out of the house is a good call. Could you change to CD's with a CDplayer and Veggie Tales music or something like that. Maybe read 1-2 books, sing one song, have prayers and then to bed. At that gae only 2-3 nights of crying ought to clear this up. And we do believe in discipline to obey when put to bed to stay. You do whatever you believe in, but you are the Mom and in charge.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.G.

answers from Dallas on

I would suggest maybe getting him his own little recliner or another type of comfy kids chair to replace the swing. That way he still has a chair to sit in and watch his tv before bed that is a little more age appropriate.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.P.

answers from Dallas on

How about trying those fold out foam kids "couches" they sell at Target, Walmart and Toys R Us? They have themes (like Cars, Spiderman, etc.) and cost around $40. He could sit on it like a couch or he can fold it out and lie down on it. My daughter is five years old and has had one for about two years now. She loves it and it doesn't take up a lot of room. You could tell him it is his "big boy" chair!!

Here's a link:
http://www.toysrus.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=3250686

Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Dallas on

What about getting him a bean bag chair or a little recliner? (They do sell toddler sized recliners!) Then tell him he's too big for the swing, it's really for babies, but he can use his new big boy chair! My 2 year old has fallen asleep in his big sister's bean bag chair on occassion, so I know it's comfy! He also likes to sit in it and watch TV while I'm working. Just a suggestion! Don't beat yourself up, sounds like you have a really good handle on everything.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

Have you tried buying him a small rocking chair or one of those little chairs that are rounded and they sit right in it and there feet can stll touch the floor.Only a suggestion. Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Dallas on

Remove the swing from the house and replace it with a mini recliner

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions