How Do We Handle Team Prayer Before Softball Game?

I am nonreligious.

I don't see why she would have to step away in order to not participate... (Especially if she would be the only one...) can't she have the option of standing with the circle, showing respectful silence but not closing her eyes/saying "amen?"

That's typically how I handle this issue. :)

i would have her just stand there and mentally prep for the game. ignore the coach while watching for the amen. you don't have to believe in what the coach believes in and you don't have to follow what they do. you also don't need to make a big deal about it.

CFSM

I really don't see the big deal. With all the things to worry about, this would not hit my radar.

My opinion is that when you step up to be coach, you can run the team however you see fit. If you want to take a minute to praise Allah, the sun, or a fly then so be it.

She doesn't have to pray, bow her head, kneel, or fold her hands. She can just politely stand with her team and wait. Think thoughts of winning and solidarity, while respecting that the other team members do believe in God and would like to pray for the safety and effectiveness of their team.

I'm in the military. A LOT of our events are opened with a bendiction or prayer by our chaplain. The chaplains are sometimes protestant Christians, and sometimes they're not. Either way, we all stand, respect the beliefs of others, try to hear the message which, though religious, may still apply to everyone. Your daughter is not being harmed by graciously allowing others to pray as they believe. It's really a good lesson. We need to stop this idea of "oh, you can't make me do Christian stuff" while speaking tolerance out the other side of our mouths.

Your daughter still has he beliefs. How is she to react when a Christian teammate says "I prayed for you?" The right response isn't "I don't believe in God," the polite response is, "thank you." Believer or not, we can all use some positive thoughts and prayer.

I am Jewish and I would find this highly offensive. He is not praying to G-D. He is praying to his particular god and making the (very offensive) assumption that his god is everyone's god. If you are not comfortable talking to the coach about it, I would talk to whoever is in charge of the league. If this is not a team run out of a particular church, religion has no place in it. I suspect that if you asked to alternate prayers each week (perhaps a Muslim prayer one week, a Jewish prayer the next and maybe something Wiccan the following week) you would meet some resistance. If the coach would be uncomfortable praying to someone else's god, he should get it.

ETA:

This country was NOT founded by Christians on Christian principles. Many of the founders were deists NOT Christians. The phrase 'in god we trust' was not added to money until 1956 at the height of the anticommunist hysteria. One nation under god was also a late addition to the pledge of allegiance. What would we have if we got rid of forced religion in public life - perhaps the country the founders intended.
http://jeromekahn123.tripod.com/thinkersonreligion/id9.html

I think I would just tell my daughter to stand respectfully while everyone else is praying.
She doesn't need to loudly announce she's not Christian or step out of the cirlce.
Fanatics are always tough (sounds like there are a few on the team). If she steps away from the cirlce she may be targeted. And at 13, girls are really awful.
I think it's also awfully weird that people are praying before a game. For what? A win? Everyone knows God doesn't work that way. What if the OTHER team is praying for a win too!! Then what's God to do?!?! ARGH! lol!
It may just be easier to be respectful. She can meditate or say positive affirmations. I guarantee you....all those little girls are NOT praying. (said the ex-fanatic. lol)
L.

ETA: If you would read and comprehend? You would see I was quoting a meme that I have seen on facebook - and it's ALL CAPS - there is one with a man standing there "SCREAMING" at people....

Maybe you should allow your daughter to attend an organized religion so she KNOWS what she is not learning about. Then she can REALLY decide if she's an Atheist or whatever she wants to be. Knowledge is power. This is your moment to be a good liberal and teach your child tolerance and acceptance instead of being offended and having other people change to meet her (your) demands.

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oh sweet mother of God. On facebook, I see people posting meme's - "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BE OFFENDED ABOUT TODAY???"

This is it.

YOUR bottom line is it doesn't belong. This is a team that she is participating with - BY HER CHOICE - so she knows what is going on. She's 13, not 3. She knows she can make a choice. it's UP TO HER.

Why not sit in on the prayer to HEAR what is being said before you get all up in arms over it?

Why can't your daughter be there RESPECTFULLY? She doesn't need to say the words. She doesn't need to say "AMEN" or anything else. She can be respectful and be with her team. She can go to her "ZEN" and chill while in this circle so she can be relaxed and focused. She doesn't have to pray to God.

Personally? I wouldn't make a stink over it. I would ask my child what their opinion is and go from there. If my child says "this is not for me" I'd find another team for my child to play on that doesn't have this religious praise.

This is very much taking it too far. Saying she has the choice to step away and being the only one excluded is willfully ostracizing and completely unacceptable for a team. It is sending a very loud and clear message that if you do not agree with them you do not belong. Unless this is a sports team from a church where you could expect a religious element there is no place for a clearly biased to one religion activity. Each of those girls as well as the coach has the right to say a quiet prayer to themselves before the game but they do not have the right to force everyone into prayer or feel ostracized which is completely what is happening here.
Asking her opinion is not going to be as productive as you would think. At 13 she is not going to want to feel left out, cast aside or feel "different" from all the other girls who are saying a prayer either by choice or to "fit in" and not be different. Even if your daughter has objections she's highly likely to not express them and simply "go along with the pack" so she doesn't get teased, left out, or even bullied.
Their freedom of religion is to quietly say their own prayers if they so choose. Your daughter's freedom of religion is to be able to not partake in a religious act and not be left to feel like she doesn't belong or felt bad her choices.

I think maybe you can say that your (familys) relationship with God is very private, it's none of anyone else s business and none of you pray in public - and then abstain from the team prayer.

I think (and it's just my opinion) that public prayer smacks of pride and the last time I checked, Pride is a deadly sin.

If people want to pray for me, I tell them to go for it - I can use all the help I can get.
If praying to their Imaginary Friend makes them feel good then let them have at it - it does me no harm.

Unless this is a church league or one sponsored by a religious school, this prayer is completely inappropriate and exclusionary. It smacks of coercion. There's an assumption that the group a) believes in one God, b) believes in praying on bended knee (which not all religions do - Judaism, for example), and c) needs to mix religion and sports.

If this is a town league (therefore supported by taxpayer money), a school league (same thing), or otherwise a private but non-sectarian league, there must be no prayer. No moments of silence, no nothing. Just a "come-together/go team/play your best" circle and "take a moment to breathe and focus on the job ahead of you."

I'd take the coach aside immediately and discuss this. I'd ask for the by-laws or other governing document about the goals of the league. I'd go over the coach's head immediately. I would not allow my child to play in a game until this is resolved - difficult as that would be. It is absolutely NOT acceptable to ask a child to abstain from a prayer or just close her eyes - the whole thing smacks of separating the kids and making some of them feel inferior.

I believe in freedom of religion. If they are saying a Christian prayer they also need to say prayer honoring all religions represented by the team. I feel they are dishonoring the other girls on the team.

You know, if we keep changing everything we do in this country to not offend everyone, we will have nothing left. This country was founded with a belief in God. No, you don't have to believe in God or pray to God to be an American, but seriously?

Your daughter likely has no idea what religion is or what an atheist is. At 13 they still believe mostly what we have told them and raised them to believe - I doubt she has a true understanding.

No, you should not say anything. Your daughter has already been informed she is welcome to step out of the circle if she doesn't want to be involved...so let her do that. Teach her to be accepting of others and not force herself on them. She is not being forced to participate in this sport.

As someone else suggested, it may not be the coach's "place" to ask if they believe in God, I believe he's doing that so as to not offend anyone if they don't. Funny how people in general will get offended by people's attempt to not offend but also if they make no attempt. **not saying that is you or the person who suggested that...just an observation.

I suggest that your husband or daughter ask the coach about that this evening at practice. Maybe suggest that instead of a group prayer they can huddle and take a moment of silence to themselves before the game (pray if they choose to and don't if they don't but since it's silent it will be personal).

as an atheist I am completely offended by those that don't get how this is not appropriate - this is not a church team that the girl is on, it's a public league and religion does not belong as a part of it
I am going to encourage you, as a family, to speak with the coach and tell him that no matter what this is not appropriate, it is not the place for prayer. I don't remember which famous team coach said they don't prayer before a game because it indicates that god is more in favor of one group of team players then a different group of players, but it was either the NBA or NFL - you may want to use that in your statements. and having the suggestion that she step away during it splits the team which is not what the coach wants i am sure. If someone said to any of those saying what's the big deal that they had to bow down in front of a statue of Buddha and just accept that they aren't really praying to Buddha but just looking like they are, that really would not sit well with them. That is the same thing that asking a non religious person to just stand there and think and it's no big deal - it goes against beliefs of a person it is wrong - easy to understand.

Good answers.

Personally? I would have my husband sit in on a prayer. If he helps at practices, could he do that casually? Go from there. See how bad it is, or if it's a positive team building moment, let it go. I find you can't really decide what to do without experiencing it first hand.

My kids thought it was fine. They've been team captains. Apparently some kids pray anyways, and lead team prayers on their own. My son said "you just respect their beliefs - quietly. No one talks when they are praying".

If this was a school team - no. They're not allowed to lead kids in prayer.

My daughter was also a softball pitcher from the age of 7 to 17: rec ball, travel ball and high school ball. Right before every game there was a pep talk and then the all put their hands in the center and then shouted their team name.

This is absolutely an inappropriate place for a team prayer and to put girls on the spot.

I asked my daughter her opinion on this last night when we were out to dinner (we are not religious at all). She said she would just stand there and not participate. I think the pep talk is way more relevant.

ADD: My issue is more with the "style" of how this prayer is going on and less about a quick "God, keep everyone safe while they play" prayer. A non-denomination, general blessing is fine and respects those of different faiths, which I personally see as a good thing.

"The idea is that if you don't "believe" you can leave the circle or they will say a prayer that omits God while on their knees, heads bowed." - This seems like it makes people stand out if they're not the kneeling kind, leaving the circle, whatever. THAT's not ok.

ORIGINAL: Unless this is a church team, this shouldn't be happening.

I would suggest to the organizers, again, if it's not a church team, that a "moment of silence" before the game would suit everyone. Prayers can pray, non-prayers can do deep breathing, and no one feels out of place for whatever their beliefs are.

I have lots of fundamentalist Christians in my family. And lots of Christian friends. Personally I'm no religion and I'm also not an Atheist.

When other people pray, I bow my head, zip my lip, and respect that they are praying. It's not about me and it doesn't offend me or cause me stress. I don't make a statement or step away or anything. I agree with you, it's dramatic to "disapprove" and remove herself from the team. I've also respectfully stood by when friends of other religions pray, or people pray at the table in restaurants. Whatever. It doesn't harm me. ALTHOUGH, the kneeling is a bit much if she's not participating in praying. I would think no one would mind if she respectfully stood instead. But then again, kneeling and bowing is sort of common in sports. She doesn't have to pray. If I was on a predominantly Muslim team, I'd respectfully stand while they knelt to pray of course. Making the whole team change the words is...meh, picky and dramatic too...but if doing that makes her OK with kneeling...then it could be ok if she prefers... Just try not to make to many waves over it.

True liberals accept all people's beliefs-even Christian's- with grace and don't make an issue of it.

HOWEVER, I have already encouraged my kids to speak up if they encounter hate speech about hell for the gays. So if the one strident coach and daughter offend your daughter, encourage her to be every bit as verbal with her beliefs. No one gets to dictate that everyone agrees on that.

I'd accept their prayer practice personally. She has NO reason to get stressed over it before hitting the mound. How would that be stressful unless she decides to feel offended? Sports things tend to pray a lot.

** I just reread your post and absorbed that your bottom line is that the behavior doesn't belong in softball. SO you disapprove of their practice and want it stopped. So perhaps you should file a complaint, seek to have the praying stopped on the grounds that it discriminates against non-Christians...you know...all that stuff that people do when they don't want Christian stuff contaminating their world (I sympathize a little, it can be annoying). Or don't play.

***LOL SUZ T! I swear to you with one hand raised an done on my heart: I would absolutely let my kids take your classes with dedications to Athena and Hermes etc. :) It would be cool! We enjoy studying the Greeks and all kinds of religions and mythologies. We put up with the Christians more than we'd like to, but I certainly understand how many people don't want to.

wow...this one hit some nerves...

I am Bahai and my DH is Jewish so he and I have faced this type of situation our entire lives. I can't tell you how many Christmas concerts I participated in at the public schools I attended over the years or how many devotionals sat through at things like commencements and such.

My parents raised me to be tolerant of others and assume good intentions. I agree that this could be construed as inappropriate but if I were counseling your daughter, I would simply have her bow her head and have a moment of silence while this task is completed. Not sure about the on bended knee part of it though. Parity is rarely achieved in this world but harmony is always an option.

Continue to encourage her to find her way in her relationship with God. Her independent investigation with any guidance she needs from you is part of her finding herself and growing up. My parents took us to all sorts of religious services when we were kids to expose us to how others practice their faith. Who knows...she may attend that just right Bat Mitzvah and decide to pursue Judiasm. It's not a prescription but just a notion and reminder that with your support and encouragement she'll be just fine. .

It's not the coach's place to ask who believes in God. Nor, frankly, is it his place to lead prayers. But that is neither here nor there.
I gather that it's a community league, not a school team.
If it were my kid, I would tell her to simply follow her own mind and conscience. If she wants to sit out, let her. If she wants to quietly meditate while they pray, let her. If she wants to propose a change to the routine, let her.

I don't pray. When others around me wish to, say before a meal, I just sit quietly. I don't close my eyes or bow my head, or go through any of the other motions. I just sit.

I have never seen group prayer at a child's sporting event. This is surprising to me. I would talk to your daughter about it in advance, let her know what's going on, and let her decide how and if she wants to participate. At 13, you can have a mature conversation about it. You can also let her know that making one choice at the first game doesn't mean she has to do the same thing every game thereafter - if she would feel more comfortable trying something different for game two, let her.

Personally, I would not be happy if this happened on one of my kids' teams. It is not something I would want them to participate in, as I feel like it forces something on them that we choose not to do at home. I understand those that want to do it, but would hate for my kid to be in the awkward position of being the only one, or one of just a few, not participating.

This a community league?

if so, I'd call and COMPLAIN to whoever is in charge. I'd be very pissed off if my children were put in a pressure situation like that.

Those that want to pray can do so IN THEIR OWN HEADS. I can't imagine a community league coach doing this in my town, and I live in a very, very religious community, home to one of the most conservative christian colleges in the US. I see kids praying by themselves before activities, but for a coach to lead prayer? Sorry. It's a community league and organized religion has no place.

This is discrimination and you are absolutely right, your daughter shouldn't be made to feel like an alien in a community league.

Now after my little rant ( I am sick of being ill-treated because I don't "believe," I seriously get harassed all the time!)... some actual thoughts that probably won't be very helpful.

What does your daughter say she needs to feel focused? Either way they are putting her in a bad spot. In fact, this very practice is totally exclusionary and your daughter shouldn't be put in this place. I honestly don't know how you handle it without it being counterproductive. BUT i do not think your daughter alone should be made to sacrifice. As her parent, this is an important lesson in beliefs and life values and how to stand strong when faced with conflict, so whatever you do, I'd think you need to support her above all by helping her live her beliefs.

If it was me, I'd have hubby discuss the problem with them at the next practice. Say it like it is, our daughter is not comfortable praying or leaving the circle. How can we meet everyone's needs? Just make sure hubby does good conflict management skills. Listen, build a bridge, sell the deal. How about a huddle in silence?

I think she/you need to speak to the couch before the next game. If your daughter doesn't want to be a part of the prayer, she can step back. If they give her a hard time about it, then she may come to realize this is not the team for her. Something to remember is that many teens are very black and white and extreme in their thinking. If she doesn't like their stated values now, she may like them even less in a few years.

I am religious. My stepkids are not. We never mandated that they pray with us at meals, but we do ask for their respect while grace is shared, which includes being quiet for the prayer vs moving dishes around. I respect them. They respect me.

FWIW, not everyone who is religious agrees with her teammates on all topics, either. She may find that there are a few outspoken girls and others are more tolerant and accepting.

I'd let it go. Is it that big a deal since the coach isn't insisting anyone pray and will not use the word God? Kind of seems to be his prerogative as coach of he's not forcing anyone. He's spending his time coaching and gets to make some personal decisions. If you don't make a big deal of this to your daughter, it'll be a minute or two of just standing there. Not a big deal and we're not religious. This is the type of thing you can obsess about and get all upset or say eh, not ideal but he's a good coach otherwise and she wants to play on the team so just stand quietly for 2 min. Always going to be these types of conflicts in life.

I would probably say to my daughter, "Jane, you know it's your teams custom to pray to God before each game. Are you ok participating in that?"

If yes. Drop it.
If no, tell her she can always step out and sit quietly while they pray.

Is this a church league? Otherwise, I agree that it seems inappropriate.

I agree this isn't appropriate (and I'm Catholic) but one thing to consider is if he is a paid coach or volunteer. If volunteer, it's nice of him to coach and sometimes I don't like what my kids' coaches do but they're all volunteers so I tell myself if I don't like it, get in there and coach myself or shut up. He is at least omitting God from the prayer and your daughter doesn't have to put her head down. She can just close her eyes and prepare for the game. For some reason, in church now, instead of folding our hands during the Our Father prayer as I did my whole life, they changed it a few years ago to holding our hand up, palms up like priests do. I don't like it and don't understand the change. We also are supposed to hold hands and I hate holding hands with strangers. So I don't do it. I fold my hands just like I've done all my life. So your daughter can ignore the bowing of heads and all and just take a quiet moment. No big harm done as I come back to assuming this coach is volunteering his time. As for the girl who is strongly Christian, nothing you can do about that. It's her right to believe what she believes. If the coach is paid, then I'd raise a fuss with the organization.

Mamazita...that is great!! We always prayed before theater productions...at least opening night. It was college and usually someone would say group huddle. Everyone would huddle up and someone would say a prayer. Usually very generic about a good performance and safety for all of us.

Sometimes people couldn't huddle up as they were still working on something for curtain. But there was never a big deal...it was student led and you could participate or not.

And we were the biggest group of straight, gay, bi, you name it students ever and no one cared or was worried about it. We just all wanted a moment of unity, peace and good will before our show.

So do what you want to do...have her stand there and huddle silently and offer good will to her team...or have her opt out of the huddle if that makes her feel better...

My kids bow in and sit in meditation pose in martial arts. We don't practice Taoism like our instructor. They bow out of respect, not worship. And I tell my kids sitting in meditation position is a perfect time to pray in silent reflection to God.

Good luck...please let us know what she decides. I am curious how you and she does handle it. :-)

How annoying...it would bother me too. The problem with speaking up is your daughter may be ostracized and you and your husband may make some enemies. Can you complain anonymously to the head of the league? Or have you and your husband go speak to the coach at a time when your daughter and the other kids are not present. That is what I would do. Or another approach to take is to tell her the others can believe what they want and she can use that moment to practice some meditation, or to think about her goals in life, or to think about loved ones, or to send good thoughts out to someone. I seriously find the really outspoken religious people to be incredibly rude. We made friends with another family at a museum this summer and our kids had so much fun with their kids that we all decided to eat lunch together at a pizza place. It turns out they were the type of people who wanted to hold hands and pray loudly...the entire restaurant was looking at us. I mean, how obnoxious can you get that you cannot say a prayer in your head at a public place? That you think your religion is better and thus you are better than all the others around you who may be different. They wanted to announce their Christianity to the world. We are not religious so we just sat there looking at them while they performed for everyone.

You're a liberal, right? Raising your kids to be liberals, right? If this is so, liberals are supposed to be tolerant and accepting. Teach your daughter to be tolerant of others and accepting.

What I do? I would tell my daughter she should stand their respectfully, as others have suggested. The coach is not demanding she pray and say "God is great", right? Handle it this way, tell your daughter to respect others views and positions and not argue or cause a scene. This is a great time for her to get focused before the game.

I think that your daughter should mention it to the coach today (with your DH there for moral support if needed). I don't have a strong opinion on what she should do - she needs to decide that for herself. But I agree with you that waiting until 2 minutes before the start of the game to bring it to the coach's attention will be disruptive.

I honestly don't see why this is such an issue. I am not religious by any means. When I am in a situation where a prayer is said, I simply bow my head and be respectful. It is just not that hard to be silent and respect the other members of the team. She doesn't have to agree with their beliefs or willfully participate. Just be silent and respectful while the prayer is being said. This is making a mountain out of a molehill.

Religion definitely has no place in team sports (Prayer belongs at home and in church. If done in public, do it silently or in a quiet location.). And in California, of all places, you're going to have a real melting pot of religious views. Chose one form of prayer, you're going to make someone else uncomfortable or excluded.

As a life-long agnostic, my best advice is for her to just stand there with the team but not say or do anything beyond that. Be a part of the group.

Deal with this issue after the season is over or she will be ostracized. This country does not accept or respect the secular life. Just look at the Republican candidates tripping over each other about who's most religious, like that means anything about them. Her teammates will question why she's not participating and ask about her views, and if she's like me, she's not going to want to have to defend herself (which I've had to do plenty of over my lifetime ... it's not fun). Much better to deal with the problem after the season is over.

I would respectfully decline to participate in the "prayer". You don't have to be religious to be a part of this though, take it how you want it and insert your own "prayer". This is truly a lesson in tolerance and respect. Tell the coach how she feels and try to work it out. If ALL the other girls are "religious" then why should this be taken away from them? This is a coach that is donating his time, can she be respectful about that? Can she move to a different team rather than being "the girl" who doesn't want to tolerate her teammates prayer?

I 100% agree with you. Praying before an event in a secular league is not appropriate at all. And this is coming from a Catholic who went to Catholic school for 12 years. I participated in many teams and activities through my school and very, very rarely did we pray before an event. Even for those who are religious and in a religious setting, it's obnoxious to call on God for something as trivial as a game. In a non-religious setting, it simply is uncalled for.

I really don't get why adults who should know better don't really understand that not everyone is Christian and that bringing an element of religion to a secular event is just not right. These are the same people who would go nuts if a Jewish, Muslim or person of any other religious persuasion tried to lead their child in prayer before a game, play, whatever.

Honestly if I were you, I would bring it up to the league and let them know that this practice is going on. It's really not OK and the coach should be told to knock it off. If he and any of the team want to pray, they can pray silently and to themselves, not make it a group event that naturally makes any non-participants feel conspicuous.

I think your daughter's plan is a good one, but as a parent, I would let the league know that this is going on. It really shouldn't be happening.

All of our sports teams pray before every event/game, before all team meals and banquets, we have Christmas concerts with "traditional" music, and we observe "prayer at the pole" on Wednesdays right on school grounds - yep. We do not attend a religious school - just a regular old high school. We have about 15 churches in our town - everything from Mormon, to Catholic, to Methodist, to non-denominational, and nearly everything in between. Before games, we pray for everyone's safety and maybe ask that we have the strength to display good sportsmanship, or something like that - we do not pray about winning.

Someday, I suppose one kid (or their parents) will stand up and say no more, and because the rest of the country has "folded" under this "if one person says no, then no one can do it anymore," I suppose our school will be forced to stop all these things. Sad . . . I will miss all of the beautiful Christmas concerts and my daughter who will start at this very same school in a few years, will miss out if these are no longer held.

I am aghast that so many people state that prayer has no place on a "secular" team. What? Where does prayer belong then?

We used to live in a much larger town until about 7 years ago - everything like I mentioned above there had been eliminated due to the objections of this parent or that parent. It created a community of the "I got my way" vs. "the bastards got their way." Very unhappy place to live so we moved.

Although not everyone approves/believes/accepts how prayer is handled in our town and our school, EVERYONE is respectful of how things are done. For the most part, we all live in much peace and harmony here. I truly believe that it isn't just because we pray, but because we are ALLOWED to pray.

It sounds like you've got it figured out already, I read this question yesterday & had to really think about what I thought.

In the end, if my child was having difficulty with a situation like this, I would probably use the money example...I mean does she ever use paper money? It says "In God We Trust" right on it. Does that effect her? Does it stop her from using money? Is she equally offended every time she's forced to use money?

It's a teaching moment for sure. Respect in all areas usually is the best answer, so good for her & good job to you Mom on raising someone who isn't afraid to use her own noodle and to walk her true path as she feels fit.

*As the parent, I might quietly & privately bring up to the coach that asking the kids this question is quite personal & puts those on the team that don't share his views on blast & that's not very kind to those kids.

Catching up a little late on this I guess.However, I don't see Wild Woman as yelling, in fact I think she is outright amazing and reflecting what the world needs to see (particularly our children) about a true decent way to make a decision. There is an option of a child staying out if they don't believe in the particular prayer and that is the fundamental backbone of our country. to pray how we want. This is a day we should really recognize that, not downgrade those who are offering genuine advice.

Just off the top of my head;

Could your daughter not just stand there with her eyes closed? Many people "pray" in many, many different ways. I am a Christian and I don't always kneel and fold my hands and bow my head.

Not that I'm encouraging her to try to convince people she's praying if she isn't, but standing quietly for a moment with her eyes closed (and she can do her meditation or just take a moment of silence, or whatever she wants) might make her more comfortable. She can do her own thing without being a distraction to those who are praying.

She needs to get rid of the notion that her not repeating everything they say, or reciting a prayer with them, is keeping ANYONE from worshipping. It absolutely is not, and hopefully no one will take it that way.

I would worry too with the apparent beliefs of the coach. Your comments give the impression he may be rigid and intolerant. Maybe dad says something about it, in whatever way he is comfortable, whether it's, "We aren't big on group prayers, we do our own thing", or straight up "My daughter is an atheist, she will not be praying with you". I think that there is definitely room for a solution here. I hope you can find one your daughter is comfortable with - but yes, I agree this needs to be handled before the day of because otherwise it could serve as a distraction she doesn't need.

ETA: I haven't finished reading all the responses but so many people said it better and more beautifully than I could - it's about respect and tolerance. That's the bottom line. Hopefully this team and its coach will return the favor....

I'd keep her in the warm up area and just not go over to the prayer circle. Let dad handle it since he's going to be with the other coaches. He's the one that seems to me that will have to confront the other coach over this. He's the one that gets to say "my girl needs to stay in the warm up area if you want her to pitch her best game, this is a distraction to her. She's got to keep practicing and stay ready until she goes on the field". Then dad is going to have to decide if he's going to kneel down and partake in the prayer circle. Others might not want to be part of this either but not have the strength to be the focus of "You don't pray!".

So this might be an opportunity to help others stand up and it might be the start of having to go along with the flow to keep the peace. I don't know what I'd do in any circumstances you suggest. If it was a practice I wasn't a member of I'd probably say that I wasn't of that religion or ethnic background and wanted to observe....

You have a lot of responses, and I didn't read them all. Sorry if I repeat any advice.
I actually think a pre-game prayer is inappropriate. Perhaps the situation can be addressed instead by a moment of silence. Nothing being said out loud. Just a moment to reflect, get your head on straight, or pray if that's what one wants to do.
I grew up in a Christian home, but I have always found group prayer distracting and makes me quite uncomfortable. Even now, I usually just go along with it, but I still can't stand it.

I agree with you that the prayer doesn't belong. But this isn't public school and you cannot prevent it. And with the coach being the instigator, you aren't going to be able to change anything.

And NO, you don't have to do anything the yelling poster is telling you to do, including listening to the prayer to find out what they're saying, or sending your daughter to church. Ignore her.

Quite frankly, your daughter does NOT have to bow her head when other people pray. It is not disrespectful to not participate. It is disrespectful of others if they demand that of her. I would no more expect my Jewish or agnostic or atheist friends to bow their heads when I pray than I'd expect the Man in the Moon to.

Your subsequent post with an update of your daughter finally declining to go in the dugout is terrific.

The ONE thing I would recommend that you daughter say, if asked about her beliefs, is to use the word "agnostic" instead of "atheist". And if she thinks they don't know the word "agnostic", to just say that she doesn't know if there is a deity. Kids can be very cruel about atheism. They aren't as cruel about "I don't know". And it will be a lot easier to be relaxed and focused on the mound in case someone asks her something right before the game because she didn't go into the prayer circle...

So why not give your daughter the opportunity to quit, not participate in prayer, or teach her to take a quiet moment to meditate before the game. That is why they sell beats to athletes...so they can get in their zone.

Maybe the other kids find this praying to be team building and helps them relax. If they knew your daughter is the one who ended it they may resent her.

Since this is the only team you have EVER been with that did this, I am sure the league would switch your daughter due to religious reasons.