How Do I Respond?

Just tell her you're sorry to hear she's having a rough time and schedule a play date. Let her know you're there to talk if she wants to talk but otherwise steer clear of questions. Marriages are hard and this could just be a bump in the road for them or the end of the road. Regardless, you don't know what is really going on, so don't dwell on the subject. Talk about the kids.

For all you know this might be over in a few weeks and then you'll be at their house for a Labor Day BBQ.

S.--When I went through my divorce, my friends had the exact same perception of me. Unfortunately, because it was such a shock to them, they didn't know how to respond either and, in turn, didn't. I felt VERY abandoned. My advice is to treat her the way you always have. She needs something consistant in her life right now. Lend her an ear when she needs it and not pry when she doesn't want to talk about it. The best thing anyone every said to me was "I don't know what you're going through, but if you ever need anything please let me know."

It just goes to show that looks are deceiving. Although everything seemed so perfect to you, things obviously were not. The best thing you can do for her is just be a good friend and be there for support. If she wants to talk, let her vent, if she wants to cry, give her your shoulder. I don't know how close you are, but maybe you could watch her kids while she for a massage to just clear her head. Let her guide you in what she needs. GL!

Well, if you really bonded like you said you had... be a friend to her and be there for her. :) She's going to need you.... strong women hardly ever ask for help but you might just be the key to her recovery -- you just never know! :) Friends are like that (very important)

It just goes to show -- you never know what kind of front people put on to hide what's really going on behind closed doors... you just never know.

I'd just say be a friend, express your shock but let her know that you'll be there for her and ... then BE there for her... :)

S., I am fairly new to Mamasource and just happened to run across your post and I know this is much later but I was just wondering how your friend is doing now. I dont know her but I could always be sending up some prayers on her behalf. Blessings!!

Just be a listening ear for her if she wants to talk. Steer clear of giving advice or bad-mouthing her husband. I agree with the other post... this may just be a temporary thing and you don't want to be the one that said awful things about her husband after they get back together...or worse the one that stirred the pot and made things more tense. Good luck with this delicate situation.

Just be a friend. Speaking as a divorced woman, who's husband also decided he had other things he wanted to do, it's a very hard time. She is NOT alone and will be fine. it's hard to see it that way at first. For now just treat her like a friend.

Don't ask questions. Let her know you are there to listen if she wants to talk about it and you will also be there and offer some good distractions if she wants to forget about it for a bit. Offer to watch her kids if she has things to take care of so she know she has someone besides her parents. And like everyone else said try to be there often.

Hey S.. I read the response you sent her. I think if it was me in her shoes, I'd want my friends right by my side supporting me and helping me thru this transition. I just feel so bad for this woman. I know it's hard to leave everything you know. I think what she needs is more than an e-mail. But i guess it depends on how well you know the woman too. Dont want to over step your boundaries. :)

Don't judge, do not give any advice, don't knock the ex (incase they work it out). Listen, be supportive, and pray.