How Can I Go About Being More Assertive as a Daycare Provider?

consider it from the parents' POV. a working parent is busy and distracted, and doesn't have time to decipher all the subtext and unspoken backstories and passive-aggressive hinting that 'non-assertive' people do. it is so much easier, kinder, clearer and FAR more professional to be simple and direct about it. some of us HATE it when we're trying to deal with someone who thinks it's 'nice' to swim all around the point and allude to it vaguely and hope it gets picked up and then gets resentful when it goes sailing by.
honestly, if i get all that waffling and discomfort about giving a price, i'll move on and pick someone i feel is professional enough to address this very important issue.
khairete
S.

I am a daycare provider and I really don't like the "money part" of the business, it is uncomfortable. HOWEVER, this is the way I pay my bills so I have had to get over it and do what needs to be done. Honestly, once you have a little experience discussing the difficult matters it gets a whole lot easier. I no longer hesitate to mention that someone is late on a payment and I need it this afternoon.

My policy is that the week is paid in advance on Monday. Clients can pay two weeks in advance if they choose.

If someone is asking for you to "wait until next week" or something like that tell them no. This is how you make money to pay your bills and you cannot make exceptions. Sometimes difficult clients need to be dismissed.

Good Luck!

M.

Practice the conversations. Write out what you want to say, and then practice saying it out loud so that you are comfortable and don't stumble over the words.

Try to think of what they might say, and then write out and practice appropriate responses to those points.

Over time, it will become easier, but for a while, actually plan your conversations.

And a piece of advice I was given when I started to work: no matter how well you get along with your boss, always remember that she/he is your boss and not your friend. You could adapt this to read: no matter how much you like a family or a child, always remember that they are your clients, not your friends. And as long as you are fair and professional, they will respect you, even if they don't get their way.

ETA: Also, everything Suz said. As a parent, I want to know exactly what you expect from me. I would hate having to guess what the rules of my daycare are, I don't have time for that.

You HAVE to do it, or you will fail. It's pretty simple.

I am also not very assertive when only my interests are at stake, but when I think in terms of the good of my family, I can be a pit-bull. You are doing this for your family, right? Keep that in mind at all times.

My husband works FT and I'm a SAHM, but 2 years ago we became landlords. We now have 3 properties and I have had to learn to be assertive. When I have to be firm with a tenant/applicant/service provider and I feel myself losing my nerve I have to remind myself that this is FOR THE FAMILY. For my kids' college funds; for my husband so I can help share the financial burden. Keep your eye on the prize. Standardize your procedures and stick to them. Don't make exceptions or you'll be tempted to cave in every time. You have to take the emotion out of the situation or you'll cave.

No payment? No attendance until payment is caught up and the next week is paid in advance.

Late payment? A penalty fee, and if not paid, no attendance allowed.

Income IS about your kids.
Clients who stiff you are taking food from the mouths of your kids.
So it's in your best interest to establish a 'no more service until paid in full and henceforth you will be paid in advance' policy with the people who've stiffed you.
I've seen commercial day care places do it.
It's up to you if you want to give them 3 strikes or not.
You might have to fire some clients but you can't afford to work for free.
For the sake of our kids, we ALL learn to stand up and have firmer backbones than we otherwise would have.

You need to decide if you are going to be a legitimate business owner or a charity organization. Stop sending mixed signals to the parents, or you will never gain the respect in the community as a legitimate business. I don't think you can have compassion about people who stiff you and expect to make a living. Send those moms an invoice for the charges owed. Give them 30 days and then turn it over to a collection agency. It's business not charity.

Decide if you do want to be in business or not. If you want to you will have to ask for money. Try practicing in front of the mirror asking for money. Just imagine going to the grocery store: Do they ask for money? Of course. They ask and you assume you are going to pay since it is a business. You need to develop the same attitude: You are providing a service and expect payment. No emotions, just a business transaction. Be confident of your own worth and after a couple of times, it will be easy and matter of fact.

Good luck.

People who run their own businesses need to be assertive in order for their business to survive. This is your business. You are not watching these children as a favor. You need contracts, and for payment to occur a week ahead of time, so someone starting pays you for the week ahead. If anyone shows up on a Monday without payment for the week, so sorry, take your child and go home. If anyone bounces a check, automatic breach of contract, put it in your paperwork. If someone stiffs you, take them to small claims court. If you have a lawyer friend, get them to send out a letter to anybody in arrears.
These moms and dads are paying you for daycare because they are going to work, where they will be paid. They need to imagine their boss telling them on payday, sorry, I can't afford it. It's just not acceptable, unless you allow it. If you worked in an office, would you allow your boss to do this to you?
Good luck

I guess the best thing you can tell yourself is that you can't go in the grocery store, put a load of groceries on the belt and say "I'll pay you for these next week" and walk out with them. So, when you let these people not pay you for watching their kids, it's as if you are the grocery store owner letting people walk out of your store with your money. Why would you have trouble being assertive?

You ought to be paid up front. Daycare centers charge by the week or the month. I had to pay before they watched my kids. I promise you that if I didn't pay my bill, they would have told me I couldn't leave my child.

Buck up. Do the right thing. Your family deserves you to be paid.

For about 20 years, I worked as a care provider, either as a preschool teacher/owner or as a nanny. It took a while, but over the years I came to really appreciate what the contract is about: clarity and expectations.

Most parents will appreciate a contract and any other information which lets them know what to expect in regard to payment, hours of operation, what they need to supply (vs what we will provide) and as a nanny, I was clear in defining which jobs were my responsibility and which were the client's.

I think one thing we caregivers have to remember is that, WHILE we all like to feel like one big happy family, this really isn't the case. I think that is the fuzzy area with caregivers, frankly-- we really don't want to rankle that 'cozy family' feeling. That said, it is an artifice which people often create with good intention (and I have worked for families where our relationships extended long past my tenure with them as we are close)-- caregivers really need to strive to professionalize this business, mainly because it is a business. So, be sure that you are doing the business-like things such as creating an LLC to protect your home, should some calamity arise. Talk to your insurance agent about having liability protection, just in case a child is hurt.

Remember, a contract isn't about being 'all about the money', it's about making expectations clear and so that clients know what they are agreeing to. If ANYONE balks at that, it's okay. You really didn't need that client/headache anyway. I've *never* had a parent sign a contract who didn't want to, never had a parent complain. Before contracts, though, I have had a couple clients who, themselves, felt that it was okay to leave me high and dry on occasion-- and it was entirely my own fault, because I didn't assert my needs clearly.

The other thing I know some providers do is to send home "remember, tuition is due/past due" slips early on and then talk to the parent. This may not work for what you are doing; I charged a monthly tuition and ran a preschool instead of daycare. But you may want to consider figuring out if your clients can pay ahead of time for the month instead of weekly. That eliminated a lot of headaches for me. Good luck!

Best line from a movie from a daycare provider, "baby I run a daycare not a welfare". You have to determine in your heart if this is going to be a legitimate daycare or a hobby.

If you are really having a hard time about the money piece you may consider hiring a person to do that piece for you. So this way the money piece isn't something you do but something someone else does on your behalf. The title of that person could be business manager and they become the go to person for this function of your business.

People not paying you are taking money out the mouths of your babies or whatever else you do with that money that you have earned by caring for their children. I hope this helps.

Take a lot of training, find other providers in your area and get a mentor, if you can. Join your local and state organizations for ideas and support. Learn a lot about the business of early childhood, and as YOU realize the importance of the early years (brain development in the first few years is TREMENDOUSLY important), you'll realize that you are playing an important part in these children's and their families' lives. Look into your state's Quality Rating System and learn what quality care looks like. Licensed family child care is a big job, and you need to be paid for it. Be assertive, you want families who desire your services and are willing to pay for it.

How many times have you waffled about paying for gas already in your tank? Or food you order from a restaurant? Get your pay on Monday. And stick to your contract. Tell them there will be a late fee accrued per day for late pay. And only accept it once after that give notice.

put in your contract how long they have to pay before their child is unable to attend. you can say you have 3 days from date the payment is due before your child is unable to attend your facility. payment must be made in full.

they will be reading the contract and i would make sure they have their own signed copy of it for reference. keep a file on each child you can fill it with crafts and such as well to send home each week, keep tract of allergies, phone numbers, a pick up schedule (if theres divorced parents), list of people ok to pick up the child attending.

Send /give existing clients a letter stating your policies (must pay in advance or you can not leave your child (give a one day grace period), charge $X for every 5 minutes a parent is late etc.).

Stop feeling awkward discussing money. If anything, someone who doesn't pay in a timely manner or is consistently late should be the one who feels awkward. I don't think they would like it if their paycheck wasn't provided in a timely manner.

Put a note on the door, facing out, that states:

Payment is due on Monday mornings when your child is dropped off, if you cannot pay at that time please let us know when your child will be returning to (Insert name here).

Responsible parents know if they don't pay their child care bill they don't have child care and that means they lose their job. So that is the one bill that comes first.