My 7 year old has a lot of silly bands but she will not share them. I thought that was the purpose of them but she said that she does not want to let any of them go. I asked her why and she said that she did not want to give anything more that belongs to her away. She recently lost both of her grandfathers within 2 months of each other and I am not sure if her not sharing has anything to do with the loss she is feeling. Should I make her share since other kids are sharing theirs with her or am I just making too big a deal over this and should let her be?
I dont feel she should be MADE to share, if she doesnt want to. However you should tell her that if other people are sharing with her it is not polite to take and take without giving. Then leave the decision up to her, she can share and trade or keep her own that she already has.
Upon reading this my 1st inclination is she is not sharing b/c she just lost both grandfathers (my condolences on your losses). I would let the issue go, and just tell her if she does not share them with her friends, her friends will not share them with her & it's her choice. She has been through a lot so I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
For some kids it is not about sharing/swapping them it is about COLLECTING them. Do not make her share but do tell her that if she wants to Trade/Swap with her friends then she can but at the same time once the Trade/Swap is done it can't be undone. At this point you need to leave it up to her.
Yeah, I'd have to say if she doesn't want to share, she doesn't have to. I'd personally take this as an opportunity in social learning for her. She never has to share something that is hers, and she may never share the silly bands- BUT she will at least witness the implications (good and bad) of not sharing. She may learn more about WHY the other kids share, and she may make a couple of friends upset about it. She may be proud of herself that she doesn't feel like she needs to do something that everyone else is doing... who knows? But, yes- I'd let this one pass.
BTW, I have four daughters- two of which wear silly bands (5 1/2 and 7), so I'm VERY familiar with this!
ALSO- Is it really a good message to send her to tell her to do something just because everyone else is doing it? Ever thought of it that way?
My 7 year old son has these and he won't give them up becasue they are baseball, sharks, cars all the stuff he wants. So I said if you don't want to share or trade then you can't expect anyone else t do it with you. He said fine. He keeps his they keep theirs. I wouldn't make it a big deal and it could be partially due to her losses. I'd let it go. My condolences.
My daughter loves these too! She received 37 from others before i even bought her any. They are crazy at camp about them and play with them with stories etc....
I dont think you should make her BUT how about setting a rule that she can't COLLECT any from anyone else WITHOUT swapping in return becuase that is the polite thing to do.
No, she does not have to share.
What if, someone wanted to have something from your closet? A favorite dress or something. Or even a trinket you had. Would you want your Husband to 'make' you share it and give it away? And he told you "you have too many dresses anyway and many in the same color.... so give it to someone else.... " How would you feel?
I believe, that a child does NOT 'have to' share everything, nor go around sharing everything... and they can evaluate and ponder.... the process of sharing their belongings and if they want to... or not.
They need boundaries too.
Not everything has to be shared.
But if you want to teach your child 'charity'... and helping others, then that is another lesson.
You can talk with your daughter about 'sharing' stuff... but it should not have to be across the board 'everything.'
all the best,
Susan
I don't think that you should force her to share the ones that she already has, but if she asks for you to buy any more, or if someone shares more with her she should agree that the new ones are to be shared.
My kids use them to trade with other kids.
There are some they will not trade but they do have others that they use for just trading.
I'd get her a pack of ones you know she won't like she can use for trading.
The silly bands craze is an amazing phenomenon, but I agree that you should not make her share. The idea behind the bracelets is to have the biggest collection - it's a status thing. It's a fad that will pass, too, but in the mean time, we're trying to make sure moms can get them a little cheaper!
http://igotmompower.com/mompower/index.php?main_page=prod...
