My daughter is going to be 3 in September and refuses to go to the bathroom on the toilet. For a while she would sit but never would go. Now she doesn't even want to sit. I realize that she will do this when she is ready....but I feel like she is moving further away from the idea each day. I have books that we read on it and try to make it a fun rewarding experience but she has no interest. I tried to go gold turkey and had a day and a half of wet pants. We would sit nearly every 30 minutes and she would refuse to go in the toilet.
You won't win this. Potty training is all about the kids, not us. SHe has control over her body, not you. Just wait until she has the interest and is totally ready. Otherwise you are doomed to fail. Sorry. SHe's getting to the age, though, and she should start to want to do it. Just put away the books, leave the potty out and don't mention it to her anymore. She'll start to do it on her own.
Don't be so hard on yourself mom, she will get there. My 3 yr old son was the same way and everyone had there own idea of what would work best. My husband and I would argue over the issue because he wanted him to be put on the toilet in 30 minute intervals but that isn't always feasible when you have other kids and chores to attend to. Let's not mention when I would put a pull up on him because my son either had the runs or multiple accidents and I would just give up and my husband would accuse me of setting him back. Understand its not you, like it was not my fault my son wasn't potty trained by 3 yrs old rather than it is that child saying, "I'm an individual and I will do this when I am ready." Take your gloves off because this isn't a fight worth having. Soon it will be over....best wishes.
Part-time working mother with 5 kids, married, dog and hammsters that just joined the family. LOL.
Have a No More Diapers Party. Set a date for being in undies at least 3 weeks from now. Talk it up, circle it on the calendar, count it down, get excited and make it as exciting as a birthday.
On the date get a small cake and sing "No more diapers" (pick a tune, any tune that is happy) and eat cake. I prefer to do it either first thing in the morning or right before bed the day before. Then after you eat the cake, she can only have a diaper on if she is in bed. Otherwise, sorry, we sang the song and ate the cake, no going back, the rule is you have to use the potty.
She may immediately be potty trained, or she may have a week of accidents. But the key is not to go back and to remind her that this is a new rule and just like not running into the street it has to be followed or there are consequences. At first those consequences should be just a reminder, but into the second week they may become more strict if you want. If she asks for a diaper tell her, sorry, we had the party, ate the cake, sang the song, there is no going back.
D., I have to agree with the other two posters. When we realized we were pushing too much, we let go. We had bought our daughter some underwear she had picked out, so every once in a while I would gently remind her that when she was ready to go in the potty all day, she could wear them, but there was no other mention or expections of the potty or potty training. At 39 months she one day said she was ready to use the potty all day and she did. She had maybe 3 or 4 misses after that, usually because we weren't near a toilet. She stopped wearing diapers at night 6 months later and has wet the bed about 3 times since then. She's 5.5 now. Frankly, I think the time period after they are potty trained is pain because you have to convince them to go to the potty when her body isn't telling them to go (like before a long car ride or before bed). That's taken us about a year and half to get past!
She need to be in control of this. Based on the great advice I received (and followed) from our pediatrician for our second child, I say drop it for the rest of the summer - don't say a word, don't ask her in a week or two or three, just tell her that she can let you know when she is ready to get new big girl underwear and use the potty instead of diapers then drop it.
So now here is my testimony if you are interested: I tried to potty train my oldest starting when he was about 18 months/2 years (he seemed to fit all of the "qualifications" - he had great vocabulary, mild interest -frankly, I think that has more to do with pleasing the parent than being truly interested at that young age - etc.). Despite that and the rewards, patience, his potty training was REALLY hard, slow and he had many minor accidents until he went into kindergarten. So I changed it up for my second. Did not say a word until he was 3 1/2, skipped the little potty seat and went for the big potty. One day I simply said, let me know when you want to try it. About 1-2 weeks later he told me he was, he became fully "trained" in a day (not kidding) AND he ditched the little kid seat that you put on the big potty within two weeks. Never had an accident, began to stay dry through the night within a month.
Be patient, let her take the lead and good luck!
My son would go before bed time for about six months and that was it. The more I talked about it or tried to make him go at other times the more against it he seemed to be. I just stopped talking about it. One day we were buying diapers and he said "I don't want to wear diapers any more." He was about 39 months. We started training that weekend and he has been doing great. That was actually when we started reading books about using the potty and watching videos to reinforce "his idea". We've had very few accidents and no problem with number 2 at all. Some of the kids his age that he was around weren't wearing diapers any more and I think that helped. Give her time. They all get it.
Take a break for a week or 2--dont mention anything to do with going potty--After the week or 2 just wake up one day and put underwear on her--once you put underwear on her, never go back to the diapers/ pullups. That confuses them and then they get too smart and play games with our head. She will have accidents and you might have to stay home for a while but whatever you do, dont yell or punish for accidents as it stresses them out and they will never potty train! Good luck
I can relate! My daughter turned 3 at the end of June. I thought she was going to go to college in pull-ups! She had no interest before that. About 1 month before her birthday, I did a sticker chart and she got a sticker for each time she went potty. My neighbor then told me that she would take her daughter to Toys R Us to get a toy after she got so many stickers. Well, it took my daughter 2 weeks to get 5 stickers, but after I told her about the toy, it took her 2 days!!! She got her baby doll after the first set of 5 stickers, then another small toy after 5 more, then just lots of praising and dancing around after that. She is now completely potty trained (even wakes up at night) And it has been only 2 months. She now refuses to even go in her pull-up when we are out in.public, which can be a pain for me like when we were in line at the airport last week. LOL!
I would say your daughter just isn't ready and to just keep introducing it to her. When she is closer to 3, she can comprehend more and may be ready.
You may have found a solution for this by now, but in case you are still interested in more ideas, here is a resource that I hope might be helpful for you...
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t106600.asp
Best wishes,
J.
I agree you should take two weeks and not talk about it. Then do what I did and get the book at the library "how to potty Train in one day" . You have a potty party for a babydoll in the morning with treats , celebrations , etc. Your child gets so jealous. In the afternoon it's her turn . It worked like a dream for my twins. Good luck . You can do it if you don't force it:)
