E., I know you said you didn't really want to use spray in conditioners BUT have you tried the detanglers? Our daughter (10 years old now) had the same type of hair for years!! Probably from about 2 until she was maybe in 2nd grade. We used store bought detangler and then I learned a recipe for making your own at home. It works WONDERFUL!!! I couldn't recall the exact recipe we used but I found a couple online for you to try if you want to. I highly recommend trying them !! It saves TONS of tangles and tears.
#1
3 T. conditioner
1 1/4 c. water
Measure into a clean empty sprayer/spritzer & spritz it on while hair is damp.
#2
I have waist length hair, so a leave-in conditioner / detangler is a necessity for me. When I got down to the last couple squirts in the bottle, I added it to my shopping list and was shocked when I looked at the shelf at the store and realized I’d been paying almost $3 for that little bottle. I consulted the internet for help and found you can make your own.
So I mixed up 1/8 cup of my regular hair conditioner with 1 cup very hot water. Then I just poured it into the old detangler bottle. That way I was able to re-use the bottle and my homemade stuff is properly labeled. I’ve been using it for a couple weeks now and it’s working just fine! Obviously the price difference depends on what kind of conditioner you use, but it’s substantial.
#3
I just put 1 part conditioner and 3 parts water in a spray bottle and shake well. I spray it all over my hair when I get out of the pool, and my hair is a mess. It works really well, and it is cheap too.
If you don't have a store bought detangler bottle you can use a clean small spray bottle like what you would use for plants. You can get them at most stores in the trial size area of the store. They also now have smaller spray bottle (I think 8 ounces) that you can buy from those areas. I hope this helps.