Help, Please!!! We're Pottytraining & I'm at MY WITS END!!!

It sounds like she's just not ready yet. The more you push, the more she'll resist. As much as you'd like her to be out of diapers when the new baby comes, realize that she'd most likely regress at that time anyway. If you've already tried the rewards chart and even that didn't work, give it a rest for a while til she can tell you when she has to go.

Good luck!

Ugggghhhh.... Girl, I know what you are talking about. My daughter was like that. She expressed an interest in the potty at about 18 months. We didn't make any big deal over it but when she was about to turn 3 I freaked & started really trying to potty train her. Nothing worked! We did charts, where I drew 5 blocks and each successful potty trip = 1 sticker; 5 stickers = McDonald's playground trip. SHE DID NOT CARE (but try it - yours may)!

What really worked with us is that I played the "Stupid Game". Whenever I had to go to the bathroom, I would go to her and say, "Hey, help me out - I feel something down here in the bottom of my belly and it feels like it needs to come out! What is it? What do I do??" I played really dumb and confused so that she would HAVE to show me where the potty was and take me through every step! (Hey, at this point I had thrown away ALL pride and self-respect!) In a couple of weeks it worked for peepee. Now, poopoo was another story - again she was stubborn and kept doing it in her pants...UGH. I started back to being stupid, even though it was harder because obviously we pee more than we poop! But again, in a couple of weeks she was telling me that she had to poop. Ever since then she has never had a #2 accident (she's had a lot of #1 accidents lately b/c she doesn't want to stop what she's doing and go to the bathroom).

Just be as patient as possible. I *know* that is hard to do, especially if you have another baby on the way and don't want to have 2 in diapers. If you have someone who can give you a break from it every once in a while, USE THEM! They will be able to be more laid-back with her and it may help for her to hear another point of view.

I agree with the earlier advice. I have a boy that just turned 4, and just recently in the last couple of months learned completely. He still goes accidentally at night, so I take him to the potty at around 3am sometimes, just so he gets use to waking up.. sometimes this work, sometimes it doesn't. But he is learning. He learned potty at around 3yrs old.. and slowly learned. It takes longer with some.. that could just be it. You can't control everything. Specially little people that are learning these things. For example, my other two learned much faster then him. My oldest learned by the time he was 2, but then still used a diaper at night till 2 1/2. And then my daughter was also around 2 1/2 and then eventually learned at 3. It just takes time. All my babes are about 3 years apart and it always seem to be that I was having a baby when they were potty training at the same time.. so I learned just to let it go slowly.. To tell you the truth is was much easier when they were in diapers.. I didn't have to go running into the public bathrooms, etc.. imagine doing that with a baby in hands.. tough. But, you have to deal with it the best way you can. Just take it easy, and instead on focusing on this as if this was something she had to learn before baby comes.. just try talking ot her. Be excited about baby comming, and how you want her to show baby all these new things as a big sister.. and that perhaps she can give her diapers to baby.. etc. I mean this helped my kids a little bit. They looked at it as if it was their contribution, a gift for new sister or brother... but try talking about all sort of things that you will do with baby, like singing like mommy sings to you.. and so we have to sing to baby now... and tell her to sing to baby while in the belly... let her be involved in the welcoming of baby all the way.. don't ever exclude her of make her think that she will no longer be your baby. Tell her that baby will be here soon and that now you will have two babies.. but that now the baby will have a big sister and that baby is really lucky for that... etc. I mean you can really go on and on about this. Make her feel special and important, and give that security she needs to be independent.. maybe that is all she needs.. You don't need to stop calling her you baby. I call all my kids my babies.. but they know that eventually each of them have to mature at different stages.. is a part of learning.. my oldes is now 10! And well he is such a great helper with the little ones.. it's always been this way. From day one.
Good luck!
C.

I can totally understand your frustration, my daughter was ready and able and chose not to use the potty unless she felt like it. I wanted her to be less dependent on pull-ups so I asked her if she could have any kind of panties which ones would she like? I took her to Target and let HER pick out a couple of packages she liked. She chose Disney Princesses and Pretty Pony Panties. When we got home I washed all of the new panties and then we sat down, I let her pick a pair out that she wanted to wear (Cinderella) and she put them on. I told her to let me or Cinderella know that she needed to go potty and we would go with her. And I also told her that Cinderella was a Big Girl and used the potty, and the she could be a Big girl like Cinderlla. The whole day, NO ACCIDENTS!!! She took right to it and was telling me and Cinderella when she needed to go potty and then that was pretty much it. I still used a pull-up at night, Princess ones as well (Huggies, I think) and the same theory worked and there were no accidents at night either. I just used her imagination to my advantage in a sense and it worked for me and the frustration was gone. I think the key was letting her make the choices and having some independence.

I don't know if this will help you or not but during the day, I let my little girl run around naked.Obviously she had a couple mistakes but after one, she tried to get to the bathroom because it made her feel yucky. Now she for the first few days she wouldn't start going to the bathroom until she felt the pee going down her leg but it was a start. After two weeks she had it down and was sooo proud of herself for what she had done. I know all kids are different so this may not work for you but perhaps its an option. Good Luck!

When my daughter was potty training we tried everthing as well. She did not respond to bribes or rewards. One day she just decided she was not wearing diapers any more and that was it. You can imagine my frustration after everthing I tried that it was all about when she decided it was time. Try to be patient and good luck. I'll be doing this again soon but with two boys.

I don't think she is lazy. She is just not ready yet. If you have a new baby coming this could be a source of stress for her. She is losing her place as the baby. I know it will be "easier" to have her potty trained while you have another one in diapers but even if you get her going now, when you bring that baby home 9 chances out of 10 you will be right back at the starting line cause she will probably regress. My suggestion is to take the pressure off her and yourself at this point. Enjoy the next couple of months while getting ready for the newest princess and after she is settled in at home, begin talking up how she is now a big sis and needs to be a good example by helping mom. Once you get her helping mom, then you can move on to potty training. By then, she will have a little more maturity and you will probably find that it will be a little easier. Most kids aren't truly ready till 3 or 4 anyway for daytime potty training and especially not for night training. Yes there are some that do it and do it well but every kid is an individual and does things at their own comfort time so don't try to put her in the same box cousin Suzy's little girl fit into. She may also be experiencing some insecurity and wanting to play baby since she is having a usurper move in soon. Let her be the baby just a little longer before you put expectation on her for being the big sister. These transitions are hard enough on little ones without the pressure of having to pay attention to their "urge" to go!!! Don't stress about it, make it low key when you mention it and she may surprise you. I know my son was 5 when my first granddaughter was born and he even experienced some regression and that wasn't even MY BABY. So, relax and let her do her thing.
C.

someone told me to get a potty chair and put it in the livingroom and let them play with it. Or take them in with you and make it look fun, by saying look mommy is doing it can u do it to. try this it just might work.

Mine is the same way, also the same age. Very smart and knows what to do, just doesn't do it. And I guess I'm just as lazy at the reward/sticker thing. I also just don't have the time or energy it takes (I work two jobs). Her babysitter has done most of the work, so when she is with me, I let her run around with either no panties or the plastic kind. I keep her potty chair in the living room in front of the tv so she's being a little distracted. I've even put her supper on a little table with her sitting on the potty chair just to get her used to it. I've learned to not stress yourself out doing it, that will only make her not want to.

being a single dad, here is what i did with my doughter(she would set on thepotty but refusswd to go) i got 2 potty chairs one for her and one for her favorite doll, when i took her to the bathroom to potty, i'd look at sara(the doll) and say what sara you need to potty ok come on and i'd take her and elizabeth to the bathroom.then i would have a small cup of water on the sink and as i tuned to set sara on her potty out of sight of my doughter i would pour the water in the potty and then get liz on her potty.
we would set there for a lil while then i'd get them up and say oh sara what a big girl you pottied, not leaveing liz out i'd say oh huney it's ok maybe next time you and sara will go.. it took 3 weeks but once she did and i braggged even more on her than sara she went all the time then.. bill